Season One, Episode One: Pilot - Mole Hunt
"I'm always insistent, Woodhouse. But I'm not to be trusted, am I?" - Archer to Woodhouse
Synopsis: The episode (and the show) starts with what seems to be the titular [snicker] Archer character chained to the wall of some far flung prison, but thanks to Sterling Archer's smartass insults it is quickly revealed to just be a training room at the headquarters of where he happens to work as an agent run by his mother, Malory Archer. And, yes, it was called ISIS, but in the TV show's offense defense, they came up with it first. (But they did later change it, for obvious reasons.) At this point it's unclear as to whether or not Sterling is that good of an agent. (It seems debatable, or it at least varies by episode.)
Like most pilots, the first half is mostly spent establishing the relationships between Archer and everyone else (Cheryl, Pam, Malory, Cyril, and of course Lana), though as is also the case with pilot episodes, they're mere skeletons of the more well-rounded characters they'll eventually become. We learn that Lana and Sterling used to be an item, but now it's Cyril and Lana (much to the surprise of both Archer and Cyril). [Note: I will probably switch between calling him "Archer" and "Sterling" at random. I'm afraid you'll just have to deal.]
Cyril: "I always make Lana stir-fry on Friday." Archer: "Neat. Listen..." Cyril: "Guess what we call it?!" Archer: "Stir-Friday?" Cyril: *pause* "Wow, that's actually better." Archer: "It's all yours."
They also spend a lot of time talking with Sterling about questionable items on his expense account. Not the most riveting subject matter, but it helps establish the mundane bickering that is a common thread throughout every episode of the show, and is also one of the primary sources of humor. This episode is also the first instance of one of Archer's mild obsessions, namely "getting ants." It's also the origin of "Can't, or won't?"
In an effort to hide his expense account indiscretions, Sterling tries to find a way into the mainframe room. To do this, he comes up with an off-the-cuff excuse about a fictional "mole hunt" that he's been "secretly" assigned to. When this doesn't work with anyone, as a last resort he breaks into the Agency headquarters (Note: look, I'm just going to call it the Agency, okay? I'd rather not throw the term 'ISIS' around even in the context of this cartoon, even though I just did, plus it'll just make things easier when they actually change the name a few seasons from now.)
Ironically, when Archer finally does break into the mainframe (using password "Guest"), he soon finds himself at gunpoint by Crenshaw, the guy pretending to be a Russian interrogator at the beginning of the episode, who not only turns out to be an actual Russian named Kremensky, and was the mole, which Archer had thought he'd made up. He and Lana (who showed up after the break-in was reported) were able to take down Kremensky easily, but they were quickly distracted by their own bickering, allowing Kremensky to make his escape. *during an argument* Lana: "You wanna see crazy?!" Archer: "No, I've seen that movie, and spoiler alert, it ends with a closet full of my suits on fire!" Lana: "I wish you'd been wearing one!" Archer: "Who would want to wear an on fire suit?!" Lana: "Cosplay enthusiasts!" Archer: "What?" Lana: "Wait, no. Shit!"
Things culminated with a standoff with Kremensky holding a gun to Archer's mom's head while, for reasons unclear to anybody, Archer held his gun to Lana's head, before Kremensky pointed out that he didn't care if Sterling shot Lana. However, when Kremensky's taunting description of Malory Archer lying dead in a gutter and how Sterling's life would be without her caused a... reaction in Sterling, Kremensky's momentary disgust gave Archer the opening he needed to open fire and save the day. And as a thank you, Malory angrily smacked him repeatedly in the head with her purse, to which Archer asked, "Ow! Hey! What's in there, buckles?!"
In the end, it was concluded (wrongly) that Crenshaw/Kremensky must have been the one embezzling all along, and "blaming" Archer by putting it on his expense account. Meanwhile, Malory was confused as to how there could have even been a Russian mole, saying she "would have known," which led to a flashback where it's implied that she'd been having phone sex with an as-of-yet unnamed Russian political leader. I'm sure that's not the last we'll see of him. (And I'm not just saying that because I've seen all these episodes before. Though that definitely helps.)
My Opinion: Since this is my second time through the show, it's interesting to notice how much things have changed over the years while others remained mostly the same. Archer already has his devil-may-care attitude, mood swings and temper in the episode, but he also seems a little more whiny and entitled than I remembered. (Though later episodes may prove me wrong on this.) Also I think they hadn't quite settled on the art style in this episode, though it's incredibly close. I can't remember if that's common throughout season one or just the pilot. I could also just be misremembering how it looked in later seasons.
I was surprised to see how relatively sane and calm Pam was in this first episode. Admittedly the iconic dolphin puppet she used in HR meetings gave hints as to what the future might hold, but honestly I had no idea. And Carol/Cheryl had yet to reveal the extent of her... issues.
This episode does a fairly good job of giving viewers a general idea of the sort of thing they could expect going forward, but watching it again now, I'm glad I didn't base my opinion solely on this one episode, as I'm not sure it was funny enough on its own. Though it did have some great moments that would eventually becoming running gags.
I'm going to give this episode three out of five ice cubes. (See how I worked the Tumblr name into the review? Eh?) It isn't the best episode of Archer by any stretch, but for a first outing it wasn't bad at all. And just to be clear, this "ice cube" rating system exists in a vacuum, meaning I'm not comparing it to other shows. So really, a three ice cube episode is still better than some other random show that you might see get 3 out of 5 stars on Netflix or what have you. I'm considering "3" to be an average Archer episode. In fact, now that we're talking about it, here is the arbitrary score breakdown, subject to change without notice (though I'll probably give notice anyway):
5 cubes = a classic Archer episode, one of the best, in my opinion. No complaints whatsoever. 4 cubes = an above-average episode, with perhaps only a few dull moments or bits I didn't like keeping it from 5 cubes. 3 cubes = your average Archer episode. Worth watching, but not super memorable or particularly crammed full of comedy. 2 cubes = a weaker episode of Archer. I still enjoy watching it, but I would probably never choose it over something else. 1 cube = a really bad episode of Archer. I don't know if there was a writer's strike or if they just were having an off day, or what. Still better than some other TV shows I've sat through.
Q: Why ice cubes? A: Because, every episode has ice cubes in it, or at least the sound of ice cubes clinking in a glass. Or so the legend goes. I may even decide to point out the moment in future episodes, though I promise nothing.
Next time: Archer takes Cyril under his wing, and Chekov’s Gun gets a twist!