why did seungri and others said that top is a softie? i actually find him really intimidating?? sorry im new to bigbang TT is there any moments or statements regarding this?
THIS IS THE FUNNEST ASK I’VE GOTTEN I THINK EVER BECAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN BECAUSE WHEN SEUNGHYUN IS IN PERFORMANCE MODE HE’S ALL
AND UR JUST LIKE OMG HE MIGHT MURDER ME AND LIKE I WOULD BE OKAY WITH IT BUT DAMN
bUT IN REAL LIFE??? HE’S JUST??? A LIL FLUFF BALL?????
he gets the giggles
and he likes doing silly dances
(x) and he doesn’t know what’s going on a lot of the time
(x)and he likes making bad jokes
(x) and he loves art
and his nephew
(x) and he just wants to share beautiful things with us on instagram / remind us that he’s alive by posting selfies???
it’s okay i think everyone thinks seunghyun is intimidating and serious when they first find big bang but the longer you’re in this fandom the more you will see that he is actually just a lovely innocent lil ball of mush and sweetness and we have to protect him from bad things because he’s basically a kitten just walking around, now in a cop’s uniform.
ANON I HOPE YOU’RE STILL LOOKING AT MY BLOG BECAUSE I WOKE UP AND REMEMBERED A BUNCH OF OTHER ADORABLE THINGS ABOUT SEUNGHYUN
he loves wearing his pajamas
one time he made everyone in big bang wear pajamas and have breakfast together and i can’t for the life of me find a picture of them actually eating together but trust me it haPPENED and it was 10000% seunghyun’s idea
another time he commissioned an artist to make paintings of all the members from baby pictures of them
and he loves his mom a lot
and he cried and didn’t know what to say at the melon music awards a year ago because he was so overwhelmed by all the love from the fans T___T
Bop's List of the Most Insane GTOP Moments (Part 1)
kicking off with some very obvious, common moments that everyone should know about (but it's always handy to see it in a big long masterpost teehee)
Malaysia Interview
In September 2011, GTOP and Seungri were in Malaysia for the Korean Media Wave, when they did a tiny little 2 minute interview that just........ blew the lid off GTOP lmao. For a bit of background: around this time, Jiyong tested positive for marijuana use and the group knew this could be hitting the public soon and be a really awful scandal for him/them (and Jiyong was clearly terrified of that if his reflections on it after the fact are anything to go by). He remains adamant that he never did anything and it was a mistake, but Korean media and Knetz are insane so 🤷♀️
During this, Seunghyun really stepped up - he was being super affectionate and trying to do what he could to make Jiyong happy, including things like changing the choreographed fights in their live performances into a chance to hug him.
In the Malaysia interview, he kicked it up a gear and got super bold and brazen with it lol. Watch the interview first, then read this, then watch it again, because it's actually insane.
Kwonaventure did a fantastic write-up of this moment, which has thankfully been saved on the wayback machine, so I'd definitely recommend you give it a read for more context! However, the key highlights are this:
I really don't know what Seunghyun was thinking with this, only that maybe, because they were having their interview translated into English, he didn't think anyone would pick up on their little whispered Korean exchange - except obviously Gtoppers are the most insane eagle-eyed people I've ever encountered. Extra bonus points for Seungri looking like some sort of bored estate agent stood next to these two flamboyant queens lmao
Matching Jewellery
It's a long established queer tradition for lovers to share matching jewellery, because of the symbolism of getting to belong to someone in a world where that isn't always legal or safe to do so. Jiyong often matches his clothes with people, including the BigBang members, his female friends, his sister etc - this sometimes gets used as 'evidence' by other shippers that he's in a relationship with them, but I can't say I know of any other ships that have multiple examples of custom-made one-of-a-kind accessories shared between them 🙃
Let's start with the Chrome Hearts bracelets:
So these technically aren't custom made, but they are matching. They showed up in 2012 and they wore them eeeeeverywhere. I can't even explain how many times these bracelets showed up, it'd take all day for me to show you all the moments. So much so that MNET caught wind of it and mentioned them in their half-joking special on GTOP in December 2012. Seunghyun stopped wearing his around February 2013, and Jiyong would wear his off and on for a while longer - they tended to be an indicator for fans when they were in a good place or not lmao
Then you've got the jade rings:
Seunghyun has had his ring for a while - in an interview, he explained that his mum's friend made it for him, so it's a unique piece. Around 2014 is when Jiyong started wearing his own jade ring, which is smaller, more feminine, and in the style of a tradition hanbok ring worn by Korean women (usually as a wedding ring). You can see from the metalwork that it's incredibly similar and more than likely made by the same woman who made Seunghyun's:
And finally, and more recently, has been the eye necklace:
Seunghyun (on the left) started wearing this around the MADE era - nobody really knows where it comes from, but some people have speculated that it was given to him by his artist friend Mark Grotjahn. GD began wearing a similar necklace possibly around 2023 and has been wearing it off and on again over the last couple of years. We can tell they're not the exact same necklace, but they're clearly incredibly similar, and fans are having a hard time locating its source so it's not something you can buy en masse.
Seunghyun was also spotted wearing this necklace in 2019 when he did his meet-and-greet after his military service - the necklace fell out of his shirt for a moment and he had to tuck it back in. It's clearly something very special for him to be wearing it during such an emotionally intense time ❤️
Flower Shoes
I can't talk about matching one-of-a-kind accessories without mentioning the flower shoes, can I?
After Jiyong left the military (more on that in the next post), he uploaded the following picture in November 2019:
He's tagged Seunghyun in it because it's a birthday gift - it's a painting that Jiyong made himself, and trainers from the collaboration he did with Nike. The painting first: Seunghyun posted his conversation with Jiyong about it, where he teased Jiyong and threatened to sell it on a second-hand website because it wasn't his style, and Jiyong basically told him to go fuck himself lmao (the Anthony they're talking about is a different painter). Seunghyun then posted the painting but it's been covered up and the text says that he's not going to show anyone the painting instead 🥲
Seunghyun then revealed the second part of his birthday gift - one of Jiyong's 88 trainers, which was designed and given to 88 of his friends and family members. He THEN received a second pair, which, in his own words, has only two...
The only two people in the world to have these particular trainers are GTOP. Seunghyun went a little bit insane about this, and put about a million of the same picture on his stories that said 'chicken and beer' (a perfect combination just like the two of them, eh?), and liked things in reference to these shoes being only for the two of them:
However, because that doesn't seem gay enough, it was then pointed out by fans that the shoes have flowers all over them - 'flower shoes' are something given to girls by their boyfriends as a thank you for waiting for them to come out of the army (here's another couple doing the same)
And which couple both came out of the military in the same year........
November 2017 Art Date
So, GTOP have had not-so-secret dates in art galleries for years at this point - they make it super subtle but if you have working eyes and a working brain, you can absolutely tell that they're in the same location even if they don't post things at the same time
After Seunghyun's scandal, BigBang didn't say a whole lot about him or the situation. However, in November 2017, Jiyong and Seunghyun were both spotted outside a restaurant together with another mystery figure (people have speculated this could be one of their mothers or a member of their team, but I've not seen anyone make a definitive conclusion on who it is). After that photo dropped, netizens were piiiiiiiissed that Jiyong was hanging around with him after everything he did, so in response to that Jiyong posted the photo on the right:
This happened on the same day, you can tell cause of the clothes they're wearing. Jiyong's initial caption was 'with our hyung' but then he changed it to the emojis of two men holding hands, the love heart, and '#bromance' (cause ya know, still got to put a bit of plausible deniability het in there). The way he's got his arm and his legs bracketing Seunghyun, as if protecting him from the shit people were saying about him, sends me FUCKING INSAAAAANEEEE!!
If that wasn't enough, apparently this was on the first snow day of Korea 🥺 it's a tradition to watch the first snow with your lover/crush, because people believe it will result in a long, loving relationship. And what are they looking out of? EXACTLY.
can you please talk about girlfriend. because that song is one of their gayest songs and nobody’s talking about it. they are literally singing to each other throughout the whole song.
Oh my god don't even - Girlfriend was one of the main songs I used to convince @doomdadamn that GTOP was real for this exact reason, we sat in her car for ages just cackling at the beautiful poetic verses from GD and TOP about each other followed by the other two howling "I HAVE A GIIIIIRRRLLLLFRIEND" at us 😂
Anyway, yes, we absolutely can talk about Girlfriend!
(for reference, as always, I've used a mix of English lyrics to try and get a half-decent translation - if it's not entirely accurate, my apologies!)
[VERSE 1: G-DRAGON]
Yeah, I was like
How can you be that pretty?
Would you believe me if I said I've got more butterflies than when we first met?
Bop: I think this is fairly obvious - Seunghyun was deep in his pretty boy era at this point. The third line is interesting because 'would you believe me' makes me think that, even though he's got more confidence in his looks in public now, he probably still sees himself as the weird, tall, chubby boy in private, especially around Jiyong who literally did know him at that age. And we know Ji found him a bit intimidating but overall was very drawn to him when they were kids, and obviously thought about him enough to deliberately go seek him out for YG even though they hadn't seen each other for years. It's just now he's super stupid pretty and Jiyong can't cope hahaha.
Doom: Absolutely. I love that you pointed out the phrasing there, because that speaks to their closeness as well, right? The idea that Seunghyun projects this very handsome, charming, pretty face to the public, but Jiyong knows that under the surface there is still this insecurity that lives in him. The things you know about your partner when you’re the one seeing them look in the mirror every day at themselves.
Bop: Definitely; it implies "he doesn't usually believe me when I tell him he's pretty, will he believe me when I sing to him that I'm even more giddy and attracted to him now than I was when we first met?"
Doom: Also, am I the only one who immediately thinks of Butterfly from Ji’s Heartbreaker album? I’m especially reminded given that Jiyong has recently thrown up the 4-finger salute during his Ubermensch Butterfly performance. It feels referential to me.
At any rate, this is so sweet because we obviously know their long, long history, and it’s just lovely and precious to think about him still getting those little stomach flips years later. It does also bring to mind the GD&TOP era interview where Jiyong gets all giggly and admits that he was scared of Seunghyun when he first saw him. A different kind of butterfly obviously, but still the nervous flutteries coming to mind.
Every day, I’m scared I might lose you,
Hey hey hey.
If you hear this song, will my true feelings reach you?
Bop: So the top line is super obvious as well - they're off the back of their break-up eras, which both of them took super hard, but Jiyong (with his intense anxious attachment) especially.
Doom: Absolutely he did. I think that fear and anxiety that history will repeat itself has never really left him, even when things were going well. How human of him to be a talented, gorgeous megastar and still be scared of losing his love, huh? I think ESPECIALLY for Jiyong, who pours his heart out in his lyrics always - it's his love language.
Bop: That echoes in the third line, and it feels SO deliberately for Seunghyun - they probably find it very difficult to talk to each other about their emotions because, ya know, men. But when it comes to their music, they can reach each other properly through the lyrics they write. I can definitely imagine Jiyong being like "dude, you don't listen to me when I try to talk to you about my feelings, so here's a fucking song dedicated to our love so you can actually hear me tell you you're my everything, stupid."
Doom: That’s the story of every love song Jiyong ever wrote post 2008, I think 😂
I call your name again and again, yet I still miss you.
Everyone in the world sees us and,
They envy us, hey hey hey.
Doom: "My man, Teeee Ohhhh Peeeee!" This is the line that fully solidifies it as a GTOP song, in my opinion.
Bop: Pretty muuuuuuch. Like, he's always calling his name on stage, but on the stage is where he can't properly be around him and be affectionate and loved up. They've got to have their distance and it makes Jiyong miss him even though they're both literally right there.
Doom: Completely. Also, everyone in the world sees us?? Sorry, but the world isn't fucking paying attention to Kiko. The world isn't seeing Jiko, the world is seeing GD&TOP. And they are, in fact, jealous 😂
[VERSE 2: TOP]
When I’m tired and wasted,
When I sometimes stumble,
Girl, you always pick me up.
Doom: This speaks for itself as well. Jiyong protects him, looks after him, makes sure he’s okay. He’s the band leader and it’s his responsibility to look after all of them to an extent, but this is deeply personal. Obviously Seunghyun’s personal struggles over this period were pretty well known, and I imagine he did lean on Jiyong quite a bit to keep him going. He’s his safe landing.
Bop: Definitely, and when you run the parallels of Jiyong's matching verse, it feels like they're both talking about the way their anxiety manifests in themselves and how the other pulls them out of it. In Seunghyun's case, he struggles to keep himself together and he can rely on his coping mechanisms (alcohol and shutting the world out when it's too exhausting to face) too much. But Jiyong is there to pick him up out of the darkness.
Just like now, by my side
Every day, next to me
Stay just as you are.
Bop: This phrasing is almost identical in both matching verses, so it's clearly something they both believe in deeply.
Doom: They are the only ones by each other's sides every day. There were certainly no women filling that slot anyway. Also, I love the line 'stay just as you are'. It feels like a reassurance given the following lines.
Sometimes we fight
Because it's not like the beginning.
Doom: It’s like he’s saying, I know we fight, but I don’t want you to change anything about yourself in an attempt to stop that. Stay just as you are, because everything we’ve done and all that we are has led us here. The acknowledgement that it isn’t like the beginning doesn’t feel like a bad thing. It really feels like a love letter to their shared history, and everything they went through to get them here, to this point.
You are inside of me
You know that I love you, my baby.
Doom: And now finally, you are inside of me. He’s a part of him. Their souls are connected, as are their bodies. Like I could make jokes here, but I really think this is a touching line about how interwoven they are in every way. And the simplicity of “you know that I love you, my baby” coming from Seunghyun specifically just feels so GOOD. That simple admission feels like enough.
Bop: Completely, especially when it's mirrored in Jiyong's response, which we'll get to. It's the use of 'you know' that gets me. They know that they love each other, even if they're not always the best at saying it or don't get the chance to say it as often as they'd like because of everything happening around them.
[CHORUS]
Yes, I have a girlfriend
And I’m never lonely
I'm happy just to look at her
Yes, you're my girlfriend
You're my one and only
I don't want to wake up from the dream that is you
Yeah, my girlfriend, my girlfriend
She ain't no side chick, mistress, girlfriend
My girlfriend, my girlfriend
'Cause ain't nothing in the world compare to my girlfriend.
Doom: The chorus makes this song feel fucking hysterical sometimes, but it truly has so much depth and feeling. Calling it “Girlfriend” and making the other two sing the chorus is just their fuck you to the industry 😂
Bop: Truly. And also, it feels like this is them telling each other that this is for real now. Between 2010-2014, things were probably more of an intense situationship: they weren't sure how to navigate their feelings and their fame and their friendship etc, and would bounce between extreme hot and cold with each other. Compared to 2013 especially, when Jiyong needed to get his anger and emotions out of his system, and Seunghyun needed space to come to terms with things, it now feels like they're saying they're in it to win it together.
Doom: Absolutely. I also think they were kids, dude. Like in 2010 you’re dealing with guys in their early 20s. They’re emotionally immature and trying to navigate the world around them in general, and it was messy. But now they’re older, and they’re looking down the barrel of being separated for a few years and it’s like what are we waiting for? How long are we going to keep playing these games?
Bop: And to do it in such a stupid and obviously shit eating way lmaoooo, like they LOVE to play the game and to wind the public up. It's very 'um, my girlfriend goes to a different school'. I love to imagine that Seunghyun croons it at him when he's a little wine tipsy and affectionate, just wraps up around Jiyong and sings "YOU ARE MY GIIIIRRRLLLFRIEEEENNNDD" in his ear.
[VERSE 3: TOP]
My life was simple, my impatient temper was like fire,
But you, like a flower, poured beautiful colours into it.
Doom: I’m noodling on the mixed metaphor here. Obviously some of it is down to translation, but you’ve got fire, paint/colors, and flowers all in one. What do you make of it? As a whole, the verse itself makes sense. I think he’s saying before you, life was black and white. I had a hot temper and didn’t have a whole lot of room or patience for things that fell in between, but then you came a long and infused my life with brightness and color, and now I see the world differently.
Bop: Yeah, pretty much. I think he's reflecting on being a stupid kid who didn't have much going on in his life and was just permanently frustrated - possibly because nobody around him understood him at the time. And then along comes Jiyong who just completely gets him and makes life beautiful.
Doom: Oh I love that. Just full of teen angst until his beautiful flower boy gave him a future that was bright.
Bop: What's your take on the flower imagery?
Doom: Flowers are so loaded, there’s a lot to play with there. Flowers represent life, blooming represents growth, and also innocence in certain contexts, right? I think it could be any and all of those things, but I think juxtaposing something innocent and delicate against fire is a really poignant move. It also comes up a lot between them after this point too - the Flower Road lyrics, the flower shoes, Jiyong's branding is literally a daisy flower. It's definitely something he associates with Jiyong.
Since meeting you, I've been reborn, the two of us all night
Have a one-of-a-kind harmony, we become glowing fireworks, we’re lovely.
Bop: I feel like this is suuuuper queer coded. There's a lot of religious imagery in this verse, and you know how I feel about queering religion. I am reborn/born anew, it feels like he's saying he hasn't truly lived until he realised he could be in love with a man, and not just any man, but his literal soulmate. Especially then juxtaposed with 'the two of us all night, we have a one-of-a-kind harmony' which is DEFINITELY a sex reference lmao. 'Gay sex with my gay lover makes me feel like I'm reborn' is just the most iconic and classic queer experience.
Doom: And it lends so much context to him saying “I thank God” in the next part because he’s not thanking white Christian Jesus. He’s thanking the God that he finds when he’s with this man 🙏
Bop: They've also talked about having a different soul from the others, the two of us become one, we're like almond and chocolate blah blah blah so many times before, so him referring to their super special never-been-done-before kind of love is very on brand lol. And also, good for you, Mr Choi, I'm sooooo glad you get to spend all night fucking your man and having orgasms that are like fireworks, thanks so much for letting us all know about it 🙄
Today again, I thank God for crafting you so gracefully, for letting me look at you,
I am savouring you now
Because you are more beautiful than any masterpiece.
Bop: This is SO gorgeous, holy shit. Who else would he write these intense and devoted lyrics to? Certainly not to a woman lmao.
Doom: Oh, dude. He praises women like someone would praise a room temperature piece of salmon.
Bop: Hahaha! Nobody else will appreciate his art metaphors like Jiyong, the man who he shares so much love of art with, and who he's clearly influenced in that regard. Like, to Seunghyun, his love language is sharing his passion and giving Jiyong so much expensive and beautiful art, not because he thinks it makes him look rich and impressive, but because he's so obsessed and loves it so much and loves that Jiyong loves it too. He's literally a penguin giving his best rocks to his lover penguin. And right now, the best rocks are in song lyric form and telling Jiyong that he's the most beautiful, heavenly-crafted masterpiece in his entire collection.
Doom: I just sighed so deeply. These homosexuals, man. Also, I think the lovely thing about the line “I’m savouring you now, you’re so beautiful” is that it could be such a surface level compliment coming from anyone else, but because it’s tied to that masterpiece/art imagery, it’s so much deeper than him just thinking Jiyong is physically beautiful. He finds the existence of him beautiful - everything about him makes up the masterpiece.
Bop: Oh completely, because it's never just about looking at something pretty for TOP, it's about the meaning behind it, the composition, the structure, the place it has in greater society, all that stuff. And it's the same with how he views Jiyong too. He loves and admires his entire existence - his intelligence and emotional depth and understanding of music and his bravery. It'd make anyone insane to be around Jiyong because he's just so fucking impressive and self-assured and cool, but to know that that love and adoration is reflected at the same level??? Wow.
[VERSE 4: G-DRAGON]
When my heart feels heavy,
When my chest feels tight,
Girl, you always pick me up.
Bop: This is that mirrored reflection of Seunghyun's verse, where Jiyong is thinking about his own anxieties - his intense emotions, his loneliness, his inability to stop and say no and let himself rest. And again, Seunghyun is there to calm him down and support him.
Just like now, by my side
Every day, next to me,
Stay right where you are.
Even if time stops,
Even if everything changes,
I am inside of you.
You know that I love you, my baby.
Doom: 'Stay right where you are' feels so important. He doesn't want Seunghyun to run off or distance himself from him again. Seunghyun wants Jiyong to stay just as he is and to not change into someone he doesn't recognise, and Jiyong wants Seunghyun to stay right where he is, right next to him forever.
Bop: Definitely. And I find the reverse of each other's lines so interesting too. It feels like Jiyong is telling Seunghyun that he's there and he's protecting him and he's not going anywhere - I am inside of you - and Seunghyun is reminding Jiyong that even if he seems cold and distant he always has a part of Jiyong that he carries in his heart - you are inside of me.
Doom: Honestly bestie, I have no notes. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said. I think each of them is giving the other the assurance they know they need. Jiyong needs to be needed, and to feel significant in Seunghyun’s life, and Seunghyun needs to know he isn’t alone.
Doom: .... I don't want to end this analysis on Seungri's verse.
Bop: Oh, I'm not including it. It says nothing of importance, it feels like Jiyong gave him the scraps left over to sing, and frankly I don't want him on my blog.
Doom: Nice. Anyway, I love this song so much. There is absolutely the tongue in cheek fuck-you element, which is why it makes me laugh, but when you really look at it, it’s the gayest thing to ever exist 🌈👬🏳🌈♂️💚🩷
I don’t mean to be rude, but by saying Seunghyun is probably neurodivergent, do you think he’s bipolar? Because from my very limited understanding of bipolar disorder, it looks like it. Not to diagnose him, but as a neurodivergent myself, I think it could also be autism.
Not rude at all, lovely!! For anyone wondering, this anon is talking about this post of mine
ok before I get into it I just want to clarify some things:
1) I am not a licensed medical professional, nor do I know this man irl, so everything i'm about to say is just vibes and picking up things about him that makes my asd detector go off - i've worked with neurodiverse people for over a decade, it's part of my job to be aware and to recognise signs and learn how to accommodate what I do to help people, so I'm pretty attune to things
2) while I do feel confident in identifying traits and signs of nds in people, I'm not confident at all in saying he's bipolar as I have limited knowledge of this. In my opinion, I don't think he displays signs of being bipolar or having any sort of cluster B personality disorder - he's talked about his depression and anxiety many times before but as far as I can tell, that's about it
3) I've tried to find quotes and evidence etc but man it is so hard lmao so you might just have to believe me, or help a sister out if you spot something I've not linked and you know where evidence might be
Ok let's gooooo
so I'm going to run under the assumption that everyone knows autistic traits and signs, therefore I'm just going to list a load of things I've personally noticed about him and the evidence I've found to back my points up
1. Intense hyperfixations on special interests
obviously lol this one is a given - we all know about his intense love for fine art, wine, furniture etc. It's something he's got a real in-depth passion for, far beyond doing it for money or clout or to seem impressive - this is a deep, all encompassing love, and we can see it in how it's rubbed off on other people in his life like GD (no I'm not applying a GTOP lens to this you can't make me)
I found this interview especially fascinating:
Autistic people, particularly children, will hyperfixate on something that brings a sense of calmness, a serotonin boost, or a reduction in stress and anxiety. We can see this is something he still relies on today to bring him that brain-scratching dopamine rush he needs
I mean look at him lol he's adorable
2. Uncomfortable around large groups, struggles to mask for too long
So we all know he's an introvert and doesn't always like to be around big groups, choosing instead to stay home, but this really intrigued me:
The fact that he's using up every ounce of energy and concentration on masking in unfamiliar settings or around unfamiliar people is very telling, especially when combined with knowing he sometimes makes people feel awkward or uncomfortable because he struggles to appear "relaxed" (autistic people often struggle with this, appearing annoyed or pissed off when they're actually just in chill neutral mode). I also found the way he explained things bluntly, about how he finds that a waste of his energy and he'd rather just be alone than exhausting himself with concentrating on masking, to be interesting because bluntness and brutal honesty are other asd signs (and we know this man has a habit of saying what he thinks lol)
Despite this brutal honesty at times, seunghyun also lies about a lot - he tells stories and weaves narratives that fit a version of him he thinks people want to hear about (him talking about studying a lot when he rarely attended school, him making a lot of references to wanting to find a girlfriend despite an obvious lack of interest in women after 2010). He finds it difficult to drop his TOP guard and be Seunghyun to people and often doesn't want people to see that version of him. He's very good at masking and at saying learned and acceptable phrases - except when he's not
The second interview is very telling, because you can see so many signs of the mask slipping that I'll get into later (the nervousness, the fiddling with the apple, the lack of eye contact etc)
Seunghyun exclusively hangs around fellow creatives now, like artists and musicians on his wavelength - creative communities tend to have an abundance of neurodiverse people, or at the very least people who are accepting and understanding of differences or 'weirdness' (plus a lot of them are western, and we tend to be more aware and open with nds). He's not having to mask as much anymore, which is probably one of the reasons why he's very reluctant to come back into the Korean idol public eye where he has to put in SO much energy to fit in
Another interesting sidestep - his reliance on alcohol, smoking and that brief moment with weed fascinates me. People with autism are two to three times more likely to develop an addiction to substances compared to neurotypical people, often because it's a way to self-medicate depression and anxiety, it can calm down overstimulation, and it can be a way to gain confidence and a lack of inhibitions over saying and doing the 'correct' thing. I'm not saying Seunghyun is an addict, of course, but we all know he drinks like a fish and smokes like a chimney, often in group settings and alone
3. Sensory issues (including eye contact)
We've seen evidence that he struggles with physical contact with people he's not familiar with - I'm thinking specifically of that moment in the Tazza BTS stuff where his co-star holds his hand when they're in bed together and he physically cringes lmao. We've also seen him reluctant to touch female dancers or actresses he works with, choosing instead to do the minimum required of him rather than play up fanservice dancing with someone he doesn't know very well
That doesn't mean he's not affectionate, however! We know he's very clingy and touchy with people he loves (I mean, look at how attached he is to Daesung lol) and he's also shown physical affection to fans, because he clearly trusts and loves them
Now this made me 🤯 when I saw it for the first time:
It also echoes a previous quote up above where he talked to the wall rather than to the interviewer lol - I don't think I need to explain how neurodiverse people struggle to maintain eye contact
Finally, he has an issue with sensory things - he doesn't like short clothes touching his body and would prefer to wear clothes that completely cover him up as opposed to something that makes him physically uncomfortable. He's also expressed a dislike for certain food textures (I'm thinking about carrots in curry, despite him admitting he actually likes carrots, just not in rice)
4. Stims and echolalia
Boy howdy does this boy stim a lot - it's mostly verbally, and he's been called out before for beating a joke into the ground by repeating it again and again, hoping for a laugh. His old vocal stims were "you like" and "happy birthday bro", he's recently latched onto "skrrt" and "I like you". What's the most adorable thing is you can see it in his face when he's going to release one lol, like the smirk he gets, such as during a squid game panel and he just randomly bust out "I'm so angry, man"
He's also got physical stims - we can see it in clips like this where he can't keep still, and in things like the happy together interview when he spent the whole time messing with a.... massage device? Idk what it is but he couldn't stop playing with it lol
5. Verbal communication
Seunghyun is famously VERY articulate and measured in how he talks, to the point of sounding awkward or too formal - I'm thinking about lee byung-hun talking about how he had to remind him to relax on the squid game set, and I think he got called out for it on a variety show once? Maybe night after night, I can't remember now
Autistic people, particularly those with low needs or the outdated term "high functioning", can talk in a more verbose, almost old-fashioned way with a high level of language use. I obviously don't speak Korean but when I read his interview answers translated into English I'm always blown away with how little slang, informal language he uses, and just how eloquent and intense he is in what he says
6. Hypersensitive to criticism
I mean........ yeah. We've seen it in the early days, when he struggled to keep up with the dancing (more on that later). Autistic people can have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which can feel like an intense emotional pain after criticism or even perceived rejection or failure. the others have said before how they have to be tentative and cautious around him because he takes things to heart and becomes emotional
tbh, his response to his weed scandal highlights this the most to me - his extreme reaction after it hit public knowledge, and his continued self-flagellation for doing the wrong thing and letting people down, shows he really takes things to heart and struggles with perceived rejection (including pushing the entirety of BigBang and his past life away in quite a sudden fit of rage)
I find it interesting too that he's the only member to make a public statement about seungri, with his deliberate cropping of him in his 'love my band' post. Autistic people tend to have a very strong sense of justice and right and wrong, so it's fascinating that his hypersensitivity to his own criminal activity extends to Seungri too
7. Overstimulation leading to meltdowns or shutdowns
We've seen this repeatedly from him - when he finished filming The Commitment (an intensely emotionally taxing role for him) and the Alive tour, he just completely shut down for months at a time:
The second half of that is really telling too - he hyperfocuses on a project to the point of total burnout, which results in him just closing down in order to recover. The comedian Fern Brady's book 'Strong Female Character' has a fascinating section about autistic burnout causing mental shutdown or meltdown, I'd really recommend giving it a read or a listen if you're particularly interested in how autism presents itself in women!!
We can also see it in more light-hearted moments, like when he cried in the bathroom because he was too tired. Struggling to regulate emotions in high-pressure situations is something a loooot of people with neurodiversities have to deal with. I do wonder whether his current silence online has something to do with the intensity of squid game and coming back into the public eye again, because he's finding it overwhelming??
8. Calmness around order and routine, but struggles with time
These two quotes immediately triggered my asd radar:
Order, structure and routine is massive for autistic people. Obviously he has quite a mental life where he's bouncing around the world doing all sorts of different jobs, but we've seen in previous quotes that he thrives in that world because he knows what to expect now. It's probably also why he was so stressed about his military enlistment, because this was a whole new and unfamiliar situation that he had to prepare for, with a whole new set of people that probably wouldn't understand or tolerate his eccentricities
However omg this man's time blindness stresses my Type A personality out. He's frequently late to things, to the point where the other members were surprised when he turned up on time during run BigBang scout. He's also been working on his solo album for over TEN YEARS lmao, and GD has said before how slowly he works on lyrics and his part of their songs. Time blindness and executive dysfunction are huge parts of dealing with autism so this doesn't surprise me, as much as it annoys me bc I want his damn album 😭
9. Difficulty with physical activities
Autistic people often have motor skill difficulties, such as being uncoordinated. Seunghyun has had repeated issues following dance routines and moving rhythmically, and often decides to do his own thing lmao. He also struggles with physical games, like the jump-rope games he's had to play, and during action scenes:
10. Occasional inappropriate comments, jokes or social media posts
So like.... the boy's weird. We know he's weird, he knows he's weird - he often gets called 'an alien', his Instagram posts have been odd to the point of potentially being inappropriate (sexual stuff, grotesque stuff, general odd ball shit). He makes a lot of jokes that don't always land - I'm thinking specifically about the Hajimari No Sayonara question and answers where he made weird statements that caused confusion for the other members lol. He's actually got a sense of humour that really appeals to me, it's very British? Like super dry, a bit surreal, takes a second for people to work out whether he's joking or not, like that's a style of humour I'm used to and I sometimes find it wild that people don't get him lmaooooo
anyway those are my observations!!! you don't have to agree with me, and like I say, I'm not diagnosing him with anything, I'm just saying I've noticed some things that'd immediately flag to me if he was one of the people I work with. I'd be super intrigued to know other people's points of view!!!!! and if anyone wants me to expand on this with a GTOP perspective, as that was what my original post was about, let me know and I'd be happy to do so ✨
right so it's occured to me that, due to Jiyong hinting at a reunion and the increase of new fans from Seunghyun appearing in Squid Game, people are either uninformed or deliberately being dense when it comes to seungri and ot5 in general and I just want to write a definitive list of the shit he's done and the type of person he is (including proof)
full disclosure - even though I was aware of BigBang back in 2015/2016, I knew nothing about them personally, so I've done my research over the past few months and I'm genuinely shocked how this man STILL has fans?? or still has people shipping him with G-Dragon??? Or still has people hoping he'll come back to BigBang??????? so let's get into it
1. BURNING SUN
The most extreme thing on this list by far. The crimes and sheer horror of the situation can't be listed in a tumblr post alone so I'd reaaaally recommend you watch the BBC documentary about it all, and potentially the Rotten Mango video (although I acknowledge she's a bit dramatic lol). don't fucking come at me with the Blue Phoenix propaganda, I'm not falling for any conspiracy shit cooked up by a Seungri fan lmaoooo, and I question the intelligence of anyone who did
Seungri was involved. like, he was literally involved in the daily running of the club, and he was in group chats that shared explicit videos of girls who had been drugged getting raped. He might not have physically taken part, but he saw it all and in fact encouraged it to happen in a club he was a major part of. He claims he told people in person to stop (convenient lol) but he never went to the police or reported anything to anyone - probably because the head of police were involved too 🙃
His apologies have been pathetic at best and downright insulting at worst. he constantly passes the buck onto other people and doesn't own up to his actions (something you'll see is a trend for him), and he hasn't shown any actual growth, remorse or reflection on what he's done. He was charged with nine counts and eventually admitted his guilt to every single one. Never ever ever forget that.
2. FREQUENT SEXUALISATION AND MISTREATMENT OF WOMEN
• He has been frequently called out for his porn addiction. When his worryingly large and extensively catalogued porn collection was found by another group, he immediately started shifting the blame onto another member, but didn't say their name. He's also been called out for it by the members of BigBang. In this clip, they're answering the question "what is seungri's hobby" and he gave them the hint that it's something he does every day - GD and Daesung start giggling, making Seungri nervous, but Taeyang calls him out on his porn watching habits (weirdly, he says watching porn everyday is something "every adult does" which is uhhhh..... a concerning outlook). The America situation that Taeyang and Daesung are laughing over and Seungri insists they don't talk about is that he allegedly used a manager/staff member's laptop to find porn and forgot to wipe it afterwards so! Great!! Really healthy behaviour and not worrying at all!!!!
• in 2012 he was accused of having a one night stand with a woman, and being rough with her without her consent. She claims he grabbed her by the throat, threw a cum-rag at her and refused to kiss her.
GD and Taeyang both made statements about it, and although they're trying to smooth things out, you can see they were really disapproving and upset with him.
he later bragged that not just anybody makes it into the magazine that reported it, only famous people, and everyone started seeing him as an adult, so you know, not all bad eh 🙃
• in 2023 he was discovered to be two-timing two different women - he took them, one after another, on a romantic trip to Bali and did the exact same thing with each of them lol. As well as being an awful prick, he's also stupid, because he seems to have forgotten that the girls were following each other on social media. When confronted about it, he gave shitty wishy-washy excuses and again, didn't take ownership until pushed
• remember when I said he wasn't actively involved in the group chats? He was 🙃 in 2016, he coerced three women (potentially fans) to come to his hotel room, then he took photos of them naked and sent them to his horrible creepy friends. Again, he continued denying it, despite the proof
• we've seen evidence of the way he looks at women and makes them uncomfortable (CL has also allegedly advised a younger female idol not to give Seungri her contact info, and actually made Dara hang up the phone when he called). We've also seen TOP mimicking the way he looks at women, which prompts the interviewer to say she feels uncomfortable
• during a fan segment, one of the fans picked TOP as her favourite despite him not doing much to win her love, and Seungri had the mother of all crash outs on stage. He went on about how women are all the same and how he had to work extra hard to get attention from them (more on his insane jealousy of the others later)
• there are at least 24 times (some places report 29 times) he procured prostitutes to give them to wealthy potential investors in order to obtain funding for his businesses.
Oh, and he of course tested them out first to 'check their quality'. He also threw a Christmas party for his 'friends from Japan' which had scantily clad women everywhere
3. OTHER CRIMES
• Seungri is a habitual gambler, both in and out of the country, because of course he is (constantly chasing the high of being the bestest most successful boy in the room) - except he wasn't very good at it cause he lost up to a million dollars lol
• in order to fund that habit, plus his lavish lifestyle and to keep sweet with his shady mates, he embezzled money from his businesses
4. RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OTHERS
• they famously didn't want him in the group at first, and Jiyong didn't speak to him for about three months (also Seungri straight up lies in this, he claims GD didn't want the other three to join but he literally reached out to TOP and helped him make a demo track to get into YG, and helped him practice the dances in order for him to pass, so just another instance of him chatting shit)
• they were genuinely close with him at one point in time, especially Jiyong - I'm not about to start making untrue statements like "they always hated him" because they blatantly didn't, and that makes it more heartbreaking I think?? however, you can see a definite shift in their attitudes with him around the MADE era: they made frequent remarks about how he doesn't come with them to meals out, choosing instead to spend his time with other friends, and how he's never backstage with them despite his performative claims otherwise (ignore the cringe ot5 post)
• the Hajimari No Sayonara questions are the most uncomfortable thing I've ever seen in regards to Seungri lol, he barely gets any questions right about the others and they are completely disinterested in answering questions about him (Jiyong tries, bless him, but even he gets bored by the end). They call him out for not being sincere with his answers, and explained that the reason they couldn't get anything right about him is because he just doesn't spend time with them and they don't feel like they know him 🤷 this has got to be one of my favourite moments from the whole thing lmao
• TOP warned him on air about who he was spending time with, because they seemed shady and like they were just using him for clout. The other three also warned him that when they were in the army he'd be the only one holding down the fort - they begged him to look after the band and their reputation, because they clearly knew something bad could be on the way with him
• I'll be honest, I don't think TOP really got on with him at all lol - they pointed out multiple times that they don't have much in common and they don't really hang out together. Seungri was quite disrespectful to him at times, between not calling him hyung, repeatedly touching his artwork which prompted TOP to ban him from his house and berating TOP on stage for the crimes of *check notes* cleaning water off his table
• like I've said before, Jiyong was clearly closest with him and, although I cannot wrap my head around it, I can admit there are moments that would make people want to ship them (even though a lot of it was scripted). But even he was let down by Seungri when he called him out for not spending his birthday with his brothers in the last year they'd be together before military service, because Seungri is a selfish prick who only cares about his own needs and wants. And, plot twist - this was the birthday party where he obtained his investment money to open Burning Sun! Great!!!
• he was so jealous of them omg. He didn't like the fact that he wasn't making as much money as them, that he didn't have as many fans as the others, that women didn't want to give him their numbers but they did with the others etc. He had a real problem with TOP, and he made snide comments about GD too
• the rest of the band frequently made jokes about only needing four of them - Jiyong was the most subtle but certainly got a few digs in, TOP and Taeyang were the most obvious lmao. Special shout out goes to when Tae and TOP had that running bit about what would happen to him in the future and Seungri spookily said "don't make me out to be a criminal" lmao
5. GENERAL ATTITUDE
• Seungri was known as the Gatsby of Korea because he threw so many parties and enjoyed living the high life - he was constantly rubbing shoulders and grifting for people's time, attention and money, and wanted to use that to further his own power and notoriety (because he knew he didn't have any talents of his own lol, he wasn't a songwriter or an actor or even a particularly high level singer or dancer, he was just fine) - I'll give him a few props, he's very intelligent and learnt multiple languages and used that to get to know people and shmooze with rich businessmen
• in fact, since getting out of jail, he's been spotted clubbing, partying and chatting up women across Asia yet again lol. He did a very cringe speech in Cambodia where he brought up G-Dragon and BigBang, because he's still riding on their coat tails despite distancing himself from them while he was actively in the band (make it make sense). He's since apologised and whoops, wouldn't you know it, he made excuses and didn't take accountability again!!
• he had a car accident in 2014 - he was driving at like 3 in the morning (idk why), and was overtaking a car and collided head on with what what coming towards him. There's a chance he was speeding, but even if he didn't, he absolutely didn't pay any attention to his surroundings because clearly awareness of others doesn't apply to him 💅
• like I've said before, he's been shipped with Jiyong for years, which confuses the FUCK out of me - Seungri has proven time and time again that he cares about being popular and liked more than anything, and he absolutely played up the fanservice, especially with everyone's favourite G-Dragon, because he knew it was the easiest way to get people to like him and remember him. Jiyong, god love him, also enjoys attention and he clearly likes being provocative and pushing boundaries, even though there's evidence that he was uncomfortable by Seungri's advances. He clearly regrets it though, if his reaction to this sign is anything to go by lol. Seungri has never shown an active interest in the LGBT community, and has shown a repeated habit of being a womaniser, and a dangerous one at that. It's frankly infuriating, as a queer person, to see others try to make him seem like a safe man by co-opting and fetishising queerness. That man is not a part of my community, and anyone who claims otherwise can genuinely choke
If anyone tries to debate me, you are immediately getting blocked lmao so don't fucking try. Anyone still supporting him cannot be trusted around other women. His supporters are the types to let their friends get too drunk and leave with strange men because "she's an adult, she can make her own choices 🤷". His supporters are the types to take their friends' most painful and vulnerable secrets and spread them around. His supporters are the types to run off with their friends' boyfriends. They've shown through their actions that they'll happily put a rich, powerful man (who will NEVER know them) above protecting and advocating for their fellow women - if you're still ot5 in the year of our lord twenty twenty-five, take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why. if it's nostalgia, or because he's just the cute maknae, or because you fell for the blue phoenix propaganda, give your head a fucking wobble and grow the fuck up.
he's not coming back if we don't let him come back. If you see people on social media supporting him, feel free to call them out, I do all the time lol (just keep it classy). If you see people who don't know what he did, feel free to send them this, I don't mind. Women's rights in kpop, and Korea in general (tbh in the world in general 🙃) are an uphill battle but the day I stop fighting for them is the day I'm dead sooooo
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