dear diary

can't we be seventeen? is that so hard to do? if you could let me in, i could be good with you {{ indie veronica sawyer roleplay }}

[pughflor]

don’t give up on me now, finish what we’ve begun

[ichlxge]

                                Some were meant to fall in love

                                                                                  — but not end up together.

[cautionadvisedarchive-blog]

            ” i didn’t know i was talking to                miss      positivity. ” 

    there’s an air of mocking to his voice.                                       ” i’m a realist. and i’m telling you                                         when  we  leave  school,  we’ll                                          leave  behind  all those friends                                         who   were   only    convenient,                                          and step out into the  big  bold                                         world  boyfriendless,  to  pique                                         at the tender age of twenty six. ”             he’ll probably still be working at hot topic. 

[ichlxge]

            "hey, since when is being positive                 a bad thing? i mean, i like to think                 i'll have better friends once i'm out                 of here, but i also like to think that                 there's more to relationships that're                 made here than that."        shrug. she's not gonna lie about how        she feels. and maybe the fact that she        is totally 200 percent down with marrying        j.d is adding to her opinion. whatever.                "being positive is way more fun than                  being a realist, though. join the dark                  side." 

[cautionadvisedarchive-blog]

                               ” sounds like you  have  boring                                    friends. we should rectify that. ” 

         he’s never made friends slow. he kind of          approaches friendship like he  does  the           rest of his life. elbowing his way  in,  and           making himself at home.                      it’s a self-entitlement problem.                                             blame his parents, and the life                                            of    being    an     only     child.                ” and meaningless is about the only                  thing   that   survives  high  school. ” 

[ichlxge]

            "try demon spawn. i mean. they're                 great but i sort of don't really like                 them all that much."       what she does like is the fact she's       not some no name in the halls anymore.       she's not pushed around by kurt and       ram and she's not getting trays slapped       out of her hands. it's pretty damn great.               "god, cynical much? i don't think that's                 completely true. like...life's not some                 fairy tale but it's not impossible for things                 to last past high school."       veronica honestly probably wouldn't have       even talked to this guy if he hadn't butted       in, so. good job, self-entitlement problems !!!

[cautionadvisedarchive-blog]

           oh, he likes her.       she seems  like  she’s  got      a backbone. he’s not a big      fan of  the  kind  of people       who    make    themselves       small,    and    let    people       drown         them          out. 

                    ” honey, i   don’t   do                       meaningful.    that’s                       what friends are for. ” 

[ichlxge]

            "more power to you, then. i've never                 seen the point to meaningless relationships,                 though. you're always gonna wind up                 developing feelings. ha. try having a                 meaningful relationship with my friends                 for a day and tell me how that goes. i                 expect a five page paper on my desk by                 monday morning."        let's be real, here. the heathers are        technically her friends but veronica's        really not fond of them. she misses movie        nights with martha. shopping can be fun        sometimes but it gets seriously repetitive        when you go every weekend.

[cautionadvisedarchive-blog]

              ” i wasn’t planning on debating                   quantum   physics   with  him. ”        dumb and pretty made casual        easy.   the  smart  ones  were        always the  hardest  to  shake.                                       he spares a broad grin.                             ” so, how do you  feel  about  ronni?                               vera? nikki? or are you dedicated                               to the full veronica. ” 

[ichlxge]

            "how about anything beyond last                 night's episode of whatever the                 fuck he likes watching? meaningful                 conversations are usually pretty                 good in relationships."        her own smile widens just a bit        at his before her brow wrinkles        at the nicknames.               "just veronica is good, thanks. unless                you can come up with anything better                than those."

[ichlxge]

" you hope, you dream, you pray— "

independent veronica sawyer roleplay blog

six plus years of roleplaying experience

mostly musical verse

rabid heathers fan

"— and you get your way. "

[cautionadvisedarchive-blog]

                ” oh. ”       she  knows  him.  and  see,       jesse doesn’t know anyone.                            tongue   in   cheek,  he  takes  a                            step aside, finding a  new  chair                           and dragging it across the  floor                           to haul himself into it beside her.                ” dumb    and    pretty    is                    as good as it gets, babe. ” 

      ” jesse evans. ” 

[ichlxge]

      see, veronica's in the opposite boat.        she knows everyone. not only has like,        99.9 percent of her peers always been        in her class, but she's in with the heathers        now which means everyone knows you        and you sort of know everyone by proxy.              "see, pretty and smart is obviously               way better. i can't see myself holding               any sort of conversation with a dumb               pretty person."        bright eyes follow him as he pulls a chair        over and a smile stretches across her lips.        cool, someone new to talk to.              "veronica sawyer."

[cautionadvisedarchive-blog]

                   ” i don’t think you understand.     it’s   literally   in  the  perfect  place.      far enough  that  no  one  can  see     i’m not doing my  work,  and  close     enough to get a  look  at  that  guy     in the third row with the nice  smile. ” 

[ichlxge]

            "guy in the thir— oh! you mean                 john? i guess he's alright. nothing                 that special, really. he's kind of not                 smart at all. but if you're into that                 sort of thing more for you, i guess.                 where'm'i supposed to sit, then?"

[cautionadvisedarchive-blog]

          ichlxge

                              ” that’s actually  my  seat.                                  and before  you  ask  if                                   it has my name on it,  i                                  have a sharpie and i’m                                  not   afraid   to   use   it. ” 

[ichlxge]

            "unless you were assigned this seat                or something it's not legally yours, so."

[ichlxge]

            "i don't think you get how gross                 this shit is on your face after an                 hour or two."

[ichlxge]

     you can't breathe.      your hands are shaking and you're pretty sure you're not breathing and his body's too still, his chest unmoving beneath your palm, no pulse under shaking fingers as you press them against his wrist, his neck, anywhere a steady beat ought to be ringing. and the blood. dear god, it's literally all over your hands. his blood is on your hands, veronica. and as much as you want to believe that he's alright, that the bullets were really fake, the evidence is right here. right on your hands.      j.d l i e d to you. they aren't fake bullets because ram is bleeding out under your fingers no matter how much pressure you put on the wound and the boy you love is chasing kurt with a gun. if they were fake bullets he wouldn't be chasing him. he's chasing him because you and he, you both just killed someone. and you can't leave a witness.      you might throw up. you think you might throw up right here, right now, because your hands are shaking and ram had been making these little choking sounds but they've stopped now and his blood is warm and sticky on your palms. you've just killed someone. you helped j.d kill someone and it's sick. you want to hate him. it would be easier to just hate j.d and hide from him because this is two people now. two people. and then another gunshot rings out and you choke back a sob because it's three. you've helped kill three people and here you are, shaking in the graveyard past midnight and you're still putting pressure on the wound even though ram's dead.      and that look on j.d's face when he comes back, dragging the other body. that look is gonna haunt you good and long, veronica, long after all this is over. that satisfied look on his face is just one you can't mirror. this isn't what you wanted. this isn't at all what you wanted. you didn't want them dead. you don't want anyone dead but now there's three bodies and they're all your fault. and you can't help but cry, tears rolling good and hard down your cheeks as you get to your feet and spin on a heel to face him.                                          "what the fuck have you done?"      it's all your fault, veronica.      look what you've done.

[ofpyromania]

   ‘ no offense taken.      more like a compliment. ’

[ichlxge]

            "why bother fighting it if it's                 just who you are, right?"

[ofpyromania]

   ‘ i’m predictable. ’

[ichlxge]

            "yeaaaah. i think it's something about                 your face as a whole. just gives off a                 sort of dickish vibe. no offense."

[ofpyromania]

   ‘ maybe i don’t. that’s not gonna stop me. ’

[ichlxge]

            "why'm i not surprised?"

[ofpyromania]

   ‘ well, stop that something. ’

[ichlxge]

            "you know, you don't have to                be such a dick about it."

[ofpyromania]

   ‘ yeah. you were. ’

[ichlxge]

            "okay, i was, but not on                 purpose. i was sort of zoning                 out, or...something."