conundrum

I'm a hopeless romantic with a good taste in music // F. // 9teen

[lovelysuggestions]

i want to live life with you. not just the big moments, the parties, the concerts, the exciting parts of life, but the little things too. i want to go grocery shoping with you, decorate for the holidays together, see your beadhead in the morning. i wanna live my day to day with you by my side.

[mingdliu-deactivated20210422]

[mingdliu-deactivated20210422]

“You keep me together when I am falling apart, and I can’t thank you enough for holding on to me when I am pushing for you to let go.”

— Ming D. Liu

[ideasarelikestars]

This guy. The love of my life and my best friend. He makes me look forward to waking up in the morning because that means seeing him again and enjoying his company. The way he looks at me, with awe and amazement, makes me fall harder for him. My love for him gets stronger each day and good God, I hope I never lose him. I pray that we will be together until the end of time.

He is the one. The one I've always wanted. I've looked in the wrong places but now, I have him and I don't have to look anymore because I know he is the right one.

I love you, Ron Russell. You are my sun, my moon, and all of the stars.

[ideasarelikestars]

so,,,, my boyfriend and i always had plans to travel abroad after grad ((or boards huhu)) pero we got an opportunity to travel to indonesia and experience the culture. grabe kulang ‘yung 10 days. sobrang saya ko na kasama ko siya

[the best part of that trip was sleeping and waking up beside him aaahhh my heart]

[travelingcolors-deactivated2020]

Kyoto | Japan (by RaulHudson1986)

[sad-dez]

find what you’d die for, and live for it.

i saw this somewhere (via sad-dez)

[serious]

[ideasarelikestars]

kuya kaloy's 26th birthday! 🎉

[ideasarelikestars]

Me to myself: wow your music taste is so good

[ideasarelikestars]

for keeps

[enjoy-the-life-baby]

[ideasarelikestars]

I Had One Rule About Falling In Love, But I Broke It When I Met You

I didn’t ask for it but you found you way to my heart. I found myself wanting to be near you every day.

My article got published in thought catalog! omg

[ideasarelikestars]

TSIB HUGOT (charot)

May nabasa akong tweet ko about Andreau Cortez (fictional character) how he raised the standards and how much of a trash I was waiting for my own real-life A.

I’m no Zade Pascual (yung girl ni A) but, I was so hopelessly waiting na dumating rin yung A to my Z.

My mistake was, I looked for it sa maling lalake. Sobrang blinded ako sa idea na baka siya si A. Super blinded ako sa idea na someday magiging AZ kami kasi may similarities talaga sa context. Kaso, mali eh. Hindi siya ang A sa Z ko.

But now, I found my own Andreau Cortez. And it feels so right. Yung mga nabibigay ni A na feelings sakin while reading, naiibigay ng real-life A ko. Very Andreau talaga yung concern niya, yung mga sinasabi niya, almost everything! Feel na feel ko tuloy pagiging Z ko (charot!)

And now that I found my own Andreay Cortez, the right one, my worth the trouble, my worth everything, I have no intentions of letting him go, kasi life without him would feel so void.

[ideasarelikestars]

We have all been Carson

This is something my 16-year old and 17 year-old self would have said after watching I’m Drunk, I Love You. This is not a movie review. 

I’ll try to type this post without putting too much Paulo Avelino fangirl feels because damn that perfect man!

(Spoiler at the end of this post!)

Eto na...

Sana may trigger warning yung start ng film. Like sana, “Matatamaan ka at some point. Watch at your own risk.” It doesn’t help na kahawig ni Paulo Avelino si guy at omg Paulo’s name sa movie (Dio) fucking rhymes with his name. Anuna. May three lines sa movie na sobrang putangina, man tagos sa bone marrow. 

(My 18-year old self says: Actually, I watched this film para matahimik na yung 16-year old and 17-year old self ko kasi it means so much to them daw kasi sobrang feel nila si Carson. Parang tanga)

Well, unlike Carson, hindi naman 7 years yung tinagal ng feelings ko kay guy, 3 years lang, bordering 4 kung di pa dumating yung lalakeng bigay talaga ng universe sakin. (THANK YOU, UNIVERSE! DI MO PINATAGAL KATANGAHAN KO). Ayun, sa 4 years na yun... 1-2 years lang kami naging close (???). Tapos ngayon, medyo questionable na yun. 

Okay, anyway, eto na tayo sa lines na super shet di ako makahinga bat ganyan yan. 

“We make a good pair.”

“Pero?”

“Kaya lang... di niya ako mahal.”

I mean, sobrang magkasundo kami sa bagay bagay. Nung nagkakilala kami, agad kaming nag-click like wow, instant friends kami agad. Sabi niya pa, cool daw ako. I’m always there for him naman kaso... parang di naman yata enough yun. We make a good pair kasi feel ko lang ang cute namin together? Cute kaya nung photos namin nung partners kami. May mga nagsasabi rin sakin ng bagay daw kami pero damn di naman niya nakikita yun kasi... di niya ako mahal. Tanggap ko naman, kaso, ang sakit lang na wala man lang chance. Di mo man lang binigyan ng chance yung maganda sanang possibility ng tayo. 

“I’m sorry, Carson.”

“Ba’t ka nagso-sorry? Wala ka namang kasalanan.”

“....”

“Di mo naman kasalanan na di mo ako mahal.”

Ayan, eto yung sinasabi ko. Di mo naman kasalanan. Choice ko yon. Kaya kahit ang sakit sakit na di mo man lang naibigay kahit konti man lang yung feelings na binibigay ko sayo, di ako galit sayo kasi wala kang kasalanan. Di mo naman sinabi na gustuhin kita. I jumped in voluntarily wapakels if you’re there to catch me or not basta, I took the risk kaya its not your fault. Alam ko naman yon. Its my fault that I got hurt. Naalala ko pa sabi mo noon, nung nalaman mo yung feelings ko sayo kasi may hunghang na nagbigay sayo ng link ng blog ko, “Chill. Marami ka pang ibang mami-meet na guys sa college.” Well, ako si gaga nag-agree nalang kahit alam kong sayo parin bagsak ko. (HAHAHAHA IN YO FACE 2015-2016 ME, I MET AN AWESOME GUY NGAYONG COLLEGE AND HE LOVES ME SO MUCH AND I’M HAPPY WITH HIM.)

“Anong meron sainyo?”

“May thing ba kayo ni Carson?”

Eto, siguro walang nagtanong sayo nito pero tangina kasi sakin madami. Teachers, kakilala, friends, even relatives, pati yung mga nakalaban natin sa contest noon. Ghad. Its annoying. Actually, hindi annoying, masakit pala. Lalo na pag sasagutin ko na ng “Hinde. FRIENDS LANG KAMI.” Kasi that’s the truth diba? Friends lang naman talaga tayo. Totoo nga na the truth hurts lalo na pag talagang nai-sampal sa mukha mo. Sabay dadagdagan nila ng,, “Ay akala ko kayo! Bagay pa naman kayo!” Luh. Pinamukha daw ba. Hahaha! Sobrang nakaka-agit. Kasi, wala naman akong magawa. Friends lang naman talaga tayo. Ano pa bang pwede kong sabihin diba? Umasa ako na sana pwede kong dagdagan balang araw, na sana pag sasagutin ko yun, kasama kita sabay pakilala na more than friends tayo kaso hinde eh. Malabo. Sobrang labo. 

Ayun, payapa naman na yung 16-year old and 17-year old self ko kasi napanood na nila yung movie. Okay, don’t get me wrong, ha. Sobrang happy na ako sa boyfriend ko ngayon kaso this movie meant something to me kasi at some point in my life, naging si Carson ako. Naging si Carson akong masokista who chose to love in silence. Pero, gaya ni Carson, graduate na rin ako. Graduate na ako sayo. Tanggap ko na hanggang dun nalang tayo. Yung 3 years na yun, yun lang yung part mo sa life ko as Dio sa pagiging Carson ko.

Masaya na ako ngayon. Kasi, finally, na-let go na kita, Dio. Masaya ako kasi dahil dun, nakapag open up ako sa iba, tipong di ko na kailangang maging si Carson para sakanya kasi binibigay niya yung feelings na never at di mo kayang ibigay kahit di ko pa sinasabi sakanya. Kahit papano, salamat sa 3 years! 

Yun lang naman. 8/10 yung movie. Nice soundtrack. Pogi ni Paulo Avelino!

[ideasarelikestars]

me before showering: i don’t want to shower

me once in the shower: i live here now

[hoodietae-archive-deactivated20]

“NOT ALL MEN”

You’re right. Sebastian Stan wouldn’t treat me like this