EDIT TO THE TAGS: i’m sorry i have to edit this post and add more text, i just cannot stop thinking about how SAD and emotional eunbi would be when heaven inevitably announces their disbandment. and if they did like a special last video thing together idk she would just be... all tears. doing her best to hold it together and then 3 seconds later bam she's turned away from the camera and wiping at her cheeks and frustrated and just willing to cling to anyone who lets her ugh my heart. that would be her biggest heartbreak.
also now that i’m thinking about it. her love life? a joke. maybe she meets someone in like.. her 60s. but everyone before that? always an almost lover, always another person she couldn’t make things work with. i’m so sad, oh my goodness. if there was a person who was destined for misery, it was probably literally her. AND AS BITTER AS SHE WAS, u know what. she had a lot of love to give. and she gave it. just in ways that weren’t always obvious.
// original post: so i’m just gonna let eunbi go because as much as i love her (she’s honestly a great concept), i feel she’s poorly executed, you know? and i don’t know what it is, or how to fix that, and i might even be a little convinced it’s just me. before you all unfollow though, i wanted to share this ^^
i was making fanmade tweets for a social meme, and created this gem with the intention of having it posted by some pissed off heaven stan (about 99).
it’s been sitting in my drafts for like a month now. stay trash, ninety.
it’s been super real. ♡
p.s. excuse the ugly space at the top of the post, it was initially a photo one. couldn’t change it because i wanted to preserve the tags heh.
development prompt: detail your parents’ initial & current thoughts on your career choice
when it came to eunbi's father, there was no telling, no genuine way of knowing his thoughts on her career of choice. by the time she'd joined 99, her parents' divorce had been settled, and he'd long fallen out of the picture. she did wonder though, every now and then, during the witching hour, how he might've felt about it all. would he have been supportive, would he have been envious? would he have cared at all? or would none of it have mattered?
there was a part of her that secretly wished for the former. after all, he'd loved music. dedicated his entire life to it, spent countless nights sleeping in a studio instead of going home to his family. there was no way of knowing for sure, but deep down, eunbi liked to imagine that for once in his life, he would've paid attention, and he would've been happy for her. she liked to imagine that even in current day, where ever he was, he was watching her on television screens, cheering for heaven, for the success she'd worked so hard for.
because eunbi hadn't been able to understand then, how he could put his career—or rather, his hopes for one— above all else. but she certainly understood now, how he'd done it. why. and that understanding extended to her mother, too. because she was no different. much like her husband, she, too, chose work over family, work over everything and anything. and though eunbi had initially been angry over it, hurt, betrayed even, there was no denying that she'd inherited that same strong work ethic from both of her parents.
after joining 99, eunbi kept focused on honing her skills, on becoming a better version of herself. if she wasn't in school, she was tucked away in some practice room, out of sight from the rest of the world for hours and hours and hours on end. and at the time, her mother hadn't had much to say about that. she hadn't cared, really. signed the forms and gave consent only because she was always in a rush. to go to work, to have a drink, to do everything but be a parent to her only child. and even if she hadn't directly stated so, eunbi knew that her mother found it convenient when she disappeared for hours, days, weeks. it meant no one bothering her, no one being a "pain in the ass", as she'd so nicely described it once.
thankfully though, everything worked out in eunbi's favor. she still managed to debut, still managed to make something of herself even without the help of her parents. and in doing so, she'd successfully convinced herself that she didn't need them.
so a few years later, when her mother began popping up during group schedules, boasting about her sobriety (among other changes), eunbi wanted nothing to do with it. she hated the thought of having her mother around, hated even more that she was meddling in her career all of a sudden, feigning support for heaven when she clearly hadn't cared before. it seemed suspicious, and shady. like there were ulterior motives to be had. but if there were, her mother did a damn good job at hiding it. she never asked for so much as a single penny, never requested unwarranted assistance. instead, she took up a maternal role. complained when eunbi's skirts were too short, forced her into extra layers when the weather became the slightest bit of cold. even went as far as preparing homemade meals when she felt that the girls were working too much but eating too little.
angels thought it to be sweet, perhaps, how involved she was, how she cared so much. and not just for her daughter, but for the rest of the group, as well. though she hadn't known them as long as eunbi had, she'd treated them like they were her own, cared for their health and wellbeing more than anything else. all the extras, the fame and the fortune (if you could really call it that), meant nothing to her. and in fact, if asked, her mother would openly admit that she could do without the flashing cameras and noisy crowds. except she stuck it out anyway, made it a point to be more involved, more accessible. because she cared. because she owed that much to eunbi. because after so many years of blatant disregard and neglect, the remorse had become unbearable.
of course, eunbi didn't allow the attempt at redemption to come easy. even in present day, even with the small part of her that genuinely enjoys having a mother who cares, she prioritizes being difficult, the same pain in the ass that she's always been. that calls for arguing at any given opportunity, complaining, refusing to heed motherly advice. and perhaps the most dangerous - brushing off compliments and criticism alike.
development prompt: describe the shittiest moment of your career.
in april of 2017, eunbi began promotions for her very first solo record, titled “into you.”
and although she’d never been the self-conscious type, the aftermath of the entire project left her plagued by an array of insecurities, doubts, negative beliefs. that period of her career had easily been the worst, and perhaps in saying that, it speaks volumes to the damage that’d been done to her self-esteem. idol life isn’t easy by any means, she would very easily be the first in telling you so, having learned from all her years with heaven and 99.
but her solo debut flopping, well – that’s been her greatest hardship in all this. her worst moment lived, the biggest disappointment, a situation of betrayal. because she may have been the one to suggest the concept, yes, but they’d fed her everything else: the actual track, the choreography, even the outfits she’d squeezed into for live stages. her team had handpicked all of it, handed it over on a silver platter that she couldn’t refuse. but of course she’d been so naive then, foolishly convincing herself that this was her company’s reward to her. their way of saying thank you for all her loyalty and hard work, their way of appreciating all of the time she dedicated to her group’s success, overall longevity.
eunbi had trusted them. she’d trusted for them to do better, to make her solo debut something that was good. worthwhile. successful in every sense of the word. except that wasn’t really 99, was it? they didn’t ever go that extra mile, they weren’t midas, that wasn’t their thing. instead, when it came to solo promotions, she’d been left to fend for herself. rely on her skills to ensure that it all turned out well. and when the criticism started to pour in over things like a “cheaply” done music video, or suggestive dancing in a performance, she’d had to clean up the mess on her own. be her own hero, come to her own rescue.
but she hadn’t known how.
and even though the backlash wasn’t widespread (the song hadn’t been popular enough), it’d still hurt. how hard she worked, how badly she’d wanted it. how she’d trusted her company to pay her back with greatness, only to be thanked instead with this. adverse reactions, low sales. no one coming to her defense.
in the time span of a few weeks, some went from viewing her as the girl next door to a low grade try-hard. and if to make matters worse, she’d been left without the means to correct that, the power to change anyone’s mind. because while heaven as a group enjoyed levels of notability within the industry, when eunbi was stripped of their name, when she wasn’t standing beside the rest of her groupmates, her position did her no favors.
she was nothing.
unrecognized, unknown. the general public didn’t care for a standalone eunbi. they only paid regards to evie in heaven - and barely.
the mess of it all ultimately left her with the decision to focus on other things. not throw her dream of a solo career into the trash, per say, but prioritize other goals for now. other tasks. put everything else on the backshelf for later. but at least for next time, she knows what not to do. more so, who not to trust, who not to seek comfort in. in the mess of it all, if eunbi’s learned anything, it’s not to rely on 99.
not to rely on anyone’s willpower and desire, but that of her own.
≫ middle of february with @idsooyeon \
≫ group schedules, filming promotional material
in contrast to the frigid outdoor temperature, it feels stiflingly hot inside. airless. eunbi tugs at the fabric of her blouse, wishes desperately for some sort of relief, for time to hurry up and put an end to her misery. she feels hot here, drowsy, inconvenienced by ill-fitting attire and heavy makeup. but the day is just getting started, and there’s still plenty of work to be done. she slouches defeatedly into an available seat besides im sooyeon. resorts to joining the waiting game too, watching as staff rushes to finish the hair and makeup of her remaining groupmates.
“you look pretty.” she says after a beat of silence, fingers gently brushing stray hairs from around sooyeon’s face. it’s some half-assed attempt at normalcy, some half-assed attempt at pretending like things are fine between them. but eunbi knows better, of course. and she imagines that her companion does, too. imagines that sooyeon has noticed the growing distance, the slow-building tension between them. they’re on a sure path to fire, a slow route to destruction and chaos.
too bad there are cameras here. there are always cameras, always an audience nearby, a mass of malefic eyes and ears just waiting and watching and plotting. eunbi would be a fool to address personal affairs before them, so she sticks to false pretenses instead, yields dutifully to her role as heaven’s evie, im sooyeon’s forever best friend.
and when she’s evie, when she’s all dolled up and dressed for the stage, she and sooyeon don’t have problems to speak of. they're a healthy pair, perfect in every sense of the word, the facade of happy friendship. “so how are you feeling? are you ready to film?” eunbi asks, her gaze never leaving sooyeon’s, for the sake of the cameras. she knows that fans will eat this footage up later. they’ll gif it for tumblr, write a caption about how soft and sweet it is.
if only that were still true. in reality, however, the initial question is entangled with spurious intent, deceit. eunbi simply seeks to satisfy her curiosity, prove what she already suspects. like the fact that heaven is nothing to sooyeon. a career booster, maybe. a heavy burden, an obstacle meant to keep her off of television sets every once in a while.
but certainly nothing important.
not the great treasure that ryu eunbi views it as. that in itself leaves a poor taste in her mouth. she does her best not to think about it, though. pushes a free hand through her hair, remains focused on the attempted smile that graces her lips.
it’s lazy. faint. reminiscent of a certain someone’s effort.
“i personally really missed the excitement of this.”
hello, friends! i’m ami (pronounced ah-mee) and i’m back with a new and improved version of eunbi! her position hasn’t changed (she’s still heaven’s main dance), but this time around, i’m sooo much more satisfied with her as a muse. her goals are better defined, and all in all i feel like i’ve got her more “figured out” so she’ll be easier to play, you know? i’m vvvvv excited for her return, so with that being said, let’s get the ball rolling! under the cut, i dropped some info but her profile is here + connection ideas are here. if anything catches your eye (or if nothing does, but you still want to plot), please IM me or LIKE this post. ♥
her image is soft-sexy, the saint and the sinner
has no real personality tbh it’s been consumed by her on-screen one
began training when she was 15, debuted at 18, is now 26
had a “provocative” solo debut in 2017, it drew some criticism but flopped and now she has no hope for a future as a soloist even though that’s still her wish
hates heaven’s concepts but nothing in the world is more important to her than keeping them alive and relevant
outside group activities she’s just focused on getting people to take her seriously as a dancer (b/c her group’s choreo doesn’t do her skills justice)
also focused on fashion activities b/c she designs!!!
is currently on dancing 9, blue team
a perfectionist in every sense of the word, will call someone out for being out of sync or off-pitch
only likes her fans for the beneficial aspects of their support, like gifts or album sales (and in exchange for it she caters to them well #.fanservicequeen)
vvvvvvvv handsy and affectionate, has no idea what personal space is
there are probably rumors floating around that she’s lesbian b/c she really does love girls a lot and it shows
the strict mom friend, a very “tough love” kind of person
also pretty strict as a senior artist tbh she definitely demands respect and that’s gotten her somewhat of a medusa reputation (especially with rookies/trainees)
they teach you to love hunger; to turn your stomach into an unfilled grave so you will always have enough space to bury things : homelands, war zones, nightmares, black eyes, broken ribs, love letters, fathers.
Scherezade Siobhan, from “Bone Tongue” (via champagnewrites)
