[idleblatherings]

Figured it was time to make a new tagged post.

I am in my late 40s and a widower. My wife was diagnosed with ALS, also sometimes referred to as Lou Gerrig’s disease, and fought it for two years. She was my heart and now I’m just broken.

I have two teenage boys that have some of the more severe symptoms of the autism spectrum. There are challenges daily, but we work together to move forward. (Well, we try.)

I’m an artist and work in an art museum part time. Which means I don’t make a whole lot of money, but at least I love what I do.

I’m also a progressive, bibliophile, sci-fi/fantasy nerd, board game enthusiast, and have way to many animals in my care.

I typically follow back unless you look like a bot, and then I’ll probably block you.

Live in the Midwest, USA.

I have a thing for corvids.

[stricatul]

For the record: when I ask how you're doing, I always want the long version.

[diana-andraste]

The Black Sun, Bill Mayer, 2017

Gouache, with gold leaf, on watercolor paper

[coitus-n-carnage2]

[literaryvein]

L. V., conversations in the dark

[fandom-obsessed72]

Me:*gets book* Me: Don't do it, don't do it Brain: Do it Me: *smells book*

[beautifulbizarremagazine]

‘Frilly’ by Maud Madsen takes a moment to appreciate the parts of women that are often considered unflattering. Here, stretch marks and soft tummies are showcased with love. A gentle reminder to treasure our bodies for all that they are!

[the-kirbe-anon-archive-deactiva]

I love dandelions!

*puts a dandelion in your hair*

Reblog to put a dandelion in prev's hair

[bishopdane]

[knifefightscene]

We genuinely need to romanticize aging because the dread destroys us all

[idleblatherings]

So I turn 50 this year. My beard and temples are pretty much just white now, and I’m starting to get crows feet a bit. I look at myself in the mirror and I can see my dad and grandfather looking back at me. It’s weird, and sometimes it doesn’t even look like me. I can understand the dissatisfaction. But…

My wife died when she was 47. We were together for almost 25 years. Met in our early twenties. She was beautiful, vibrant, and willing to get naked with me. Her body was young and firm. Her eyes were bright, and she had shockingly blond hair. She was, to me, absolutely stunning. I proposed 3 months after meeting her. I just knew.

We spent the rest of our 20s having adventures. College, traveling, finding our place in the world, and in our early 30s, we decided to have kids. We both gained weight, and her hips got bigger while her tits started to sag. She constantly complained about the sagging skin under her arms. I didn’t care, I still thought she was beautiful.

Then in our 40s parenting two kids with profound autism took their toll. Dark circles around the eyes, crows feet mingled with laugh lines. We both got softer and rounder until she was diagnosed with ALS at 45. Her speech slurred, and her face drooped when she got tired. I watched her as she started to waste away, until she eventually passed 2 1/2 years ago.

While she was in the worst of it, I’d stare at her face trying to memorize everything. No longer the smooth skin of youth, but etched and pocked with time. Every wrinkle, every grey hair, they’re all monuments of our time together. Scars and skin tags and hair sprouting in weird places are all memories of time spent together.

And yet, I feel like I was robbed of watching her hands get old and wrinkled with paper thin skin. I never got to see her hair go all white and wispy. Her eyes will never become clouded with age. I was cheated of those memories, and for that I’m devastated.

So next time you look in the mirror, or at your partner, and you think you yourself that you’re getting old and ugly, remember that all those marks of aging are the memories of time spent with people you love. Cherish them and you will always see the beauty inside of each other.

[been-here-b4]

[boobookittenartblog]

Common Grackle by David Sibley 

[sighcomics]

bring back stare at flame

[nightmarereverie]

[catchymemes]

[ycthecat]

Aquarelle

[loungin]