âHow long is forever? Sometimes just one second.â
He twists her dark red locks around his fingers absently, a smile on his face as he lay beside her, content, listening to her read Harry his bed time story.
He is three and summer had just arrived, everywhere he looked bright flowers bloomed and the warm wind carried their sweet scent, filling up every part of him. He screams joyously as he chases butterflies on his new broom, his parents run after him laughing, determined not to let him fall.
He is eight, itâs his birthday, they were to have a huge party and everyone was going to be there his mother says. He runs through the house his face alight with mischief as his mother chases him, waving a bottle of Sleakeazyâs and yelling over her shoulder at his father to come help her catch him, but he was far too busy laughing at them both.
He is ten and itâs his first ever Quidditch world cup final. His world is an intoxicating mess of color and magic and wild excitement and for the first time he realizes that his love for Quidditch had to do with more than the game itself. He falls in love all over again as he watches the crowds move as one; Quidditch was a language the world understood no matter where youâre from or who you were, he thinks to himself. He wants to be a part of that, he wants to be a part this momentous game that united the world in a way that nothing else could. His heart swells.
âIâm going to be the greatest Quidditch player the world has ever seen!â he tells his dad, who grins at him widely and kisses his temple.
âOf course you are my boy.â
He is eleven and he sits in his empty compartment, the bag of sweets his mother had given him already ripped open and the sweets strewed everywhere. He is biting the head off a particularly animate chocolate frog when the door to the compartment slides open and a black haired boy struts in. He throws his coat aside and plops on to the seat opposite him, grabs a chocolate frog and gives him a little salute.
âThanks mate!â he says as he helps himself. James grins.
He is twelve and January snow falls heavily outside, but a fire is blazing in the Gryffindor common room and it was lovely and warm. Books they had taken from the library were scattered around on the floor and he is doubled over, clutching Remus for support, the two of them are heaving with laughter as Sirius flops on the ground pretending be a flobberworm.
âStop it Sirius! My animagus form will NOT be a flobberworm!â Peter yells furiously
Out of the corner of his eyes he sees flash of red and glances up to see Lily watching them, an unconscious smile playing on her pretty little lips. She sees him looking and immediately turns away.
He is fifteen and his friend are staring at him in sheer wander. Starlight falls through the trees of the forbidden forest and he feels different, he feels powerful, his senses were on fire. He lifts his head and utters a triumphant cry and the bark of a Stag reaches his ears. His friends run to him and they all fall to the ground a mass of limbs (both stag and human) and euphoric laughter as they embrace. Theyâve finally done it!
He is sixteen, his breathing is heavy and his throat sore from shouting. The sound of ringing silence fills his ears, but his heart feels lighter⊠Remus starts to laugh. Peter looks at him bewildered from where he sits cowering in the far corner of the room. Remusâ laughter fills the room, bright and contagious, and James canât help but laugh too as Remus grabs Sirius and hugs him. God he had missed laughing, everything was going to be ok now. Remus pulls him in too as Sirius visibly melts into the hug, Peter joins gleefully.
âIâm so sorry mateâ Sirius whispers
âI know. I forgive you Padfoot.â Remus whispers back
âDoes this mean weâre a big happy family again?â Peter asks
The hug tightens in reply
He is seventeen and he feels as though his heart is about to explode. She looks so beautiful under the soft, evening sun. Her dark red hair is gleaming, and her big, green eyes are ablaze. His stomach flutters nervously and his hand automatically springs to his hair. Her eyes follow his movement and she smiles knowingly.
âNervous, Potter?â She says as she moves in closer. His heart very nearly stops when her lips reach his, and the whole world melts, she was the only real thing in the world, Lily.
He is eighteen and itâs Christmas. A light snow falls from the night sky and the Christmas tree the Marauders and Lily had decorated that morning stands in the corner of Siriusâ living room, it was an absolute riot of color. Everyone is there; his parents, Lilyâs parents, most of the Order, and his friends from school. Heâs sitting on the couch, Lily a giggling mess on his lap and heâs absently curling her hair with his fingers. Everyone is laughing and cheering as Remus and Peter dances circles around Sirius who is performing a boisterous rendition of God Rest, Ye Merry Hippogriff. Lily takes his hand and kisses it.
âIâm Happyâ is his reply
He is nineteen and the summer breeze swirls around him filling him with the scent of flowers. Sirius stands beside him his face a picture of giddy joy and pride. His parents sit before him, his father patting his motherâs hand as she beams at him through tears. The music starts and Lily walks in, his heart really does stop this time. She is the most beautiful thing in the world, and she smiles at him, her eyes were ablaze just as they had been when she first kissed him. All the world melts away and sheâs the only thing there. Merlin, she was the only real thing in the world, his Lily. Â
He is twenty and heâs drenched in sweat, his hands are still red and aching from Lilyâs hold, but heâs never felt more alive.
âJames,â Says the smiling healer, âMeet your baby boy.â
He takes the bundle in his arms and reaches for Harryâs hand, he starts to cry when his little hand wraps itself around his finger.
He is twenty one and he was home. They are lying on their bed, his head is touching hers and his fingers are curling her hair, his eyes are closed and Harry lies between them chewing happily away at the fingers on his other hand. Lily is reading Alice in Wonderland to them.
âHow long is forever? Sometimes just one secondâ
He hears the two words that would end his life and closes his eyes and smiles, itâs ok. He canât complain, after all heâs lived for so many forevers itâs selfish really to ask for more. They would be safe, he was sure of it, they had enough time to get away, and they would be safe. Heâs lived a good long life, this was his last forever, and he would spend it knowing that they would be safe. It was time to go now.
âJames Potter fell like a marionette whose strings were cut.â
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