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@ihatejackie666-blog
1. havent been in school in weeks 2. cant breathe right since i got home from the hospital 3. can hardly stand up straight 4. always try to speak clearly, 5. it doesnt work most of the time 6. never knew what i could do to myself 7. cant feel it anymore
the fear in your chest, the pain behind your eyes empty places at the table, set for you can’t hold anything down anymore your hair is falling out, you realize one sunny day it is hard not to feel sad, it was pretty and you were proud of it try and speak clearly, pick yourself up when you fall feel the body breaking down you are gonna be gone soon
you laid down in the harsh light of the save-a-lot parking lot and your hair shone like id never seen it shine and your 1986 volleyball camp t shirt wrinkled all over you and you stretched and then you hadnt stolen anything yet but your ruination was coming up soon and i felt like i should tell you but sometimes i think it is possible to love someone too much to tell them the truth so i swallowed that feeling whole without a chance of parole and maybe if i had been who you wanted me to be i couldve asked you for real but instead i just looked at you like you were gold plated and you hated me when you found out
im doing 1 of those sappy 30 day projects
this hasnt been used since JULY
1. how quickly will this pass? when will you lower your voice? do you remember hitting me?
2. mom still keeps the suit he wore at their wedding, even though he has long left her behind. he’s on his sixteenth drink, hands full of some bleach-blonde’s tits.
3. i always live through the worst of it. it’s after the storm that kills, the pretending to be kind, the stroking my cheek, the apologies for yelling.
4. restless sleep, sun-loved skin, giving your body back to the ocean and giving in to things you can’t fight.
1. the summer dust has settled so deep into every crevice of your body, every joint, every fold of clothing. you’ll be stuck with it forever.
2. everything shines in the summer heat, even the vast blackness of the night-time sky, even the marianas trench glows with the secrets and finality of summertime.
3. the sun weighs on my chest like it’s trying to kill me. slick with sweat and sick with desperation, i let it.
i used to be something better before i was this
before i was all dust and dirt and lies
im on a mf roll today lol
died in your sleep at 17, mouth full of prophecies i was always the one to take the fatal hit
1. it is what it is. me in your bloodstained jacket, you with fresh wounds that are sure to scar.
2. you have to wait until it’s time. for what? they won’t tell me, either.
3. lying to everyone feels natural now.
4. innate talent, innate jealousy. cutting your hands underneath the highway, getting manicures with the girls who would kill you given the chance.
5. i still have the things you gave me. neither one of us could see the future, but both of us knew this was coming. sorry about the blood on your sleeves.
somewhere there is a garden
that somewhere, while certainly not here
is green and glittering and the water is sweet and sin is sweeter
the marks upon your skin — what are they? old scars,
from a sword wielded by hands too heavy to be human?
don’t forget, you chose this life
Heartachr and the apocalypse are the same wxact thing
Everybody's dying all the time the pilot keeps predicting them with deadly accuracy but no one has heard from him in 10 years the desert straight up swallowed him & his prophecies whole
THE END OF LOVE AND THE END OF THE WORLD
this is it, everybody listen, this is the end, i can feel it, i can sense the apocalypse coming for me in the way your lips feel cold on my skin, in the way being at your side throws a sinking sensation into the lowest parts of my heart, in the way the world is blurred at the edges when you’re around, in the way your cell phone screen lights up your face when i’m in your bed, in the way that blood runs down your skin before anything even breaks, in the way i forget not to yell, in the way you say that you don’t remember hitting me
Hi im jackie im 15 and gay and i speak english nd spanish and i love music and writing and this is my trash fuck of shit writing blog Thanks 4 reading jave a good night everybody
