[MADONNA’S eyes open, freeing a layer of crust. She gets ready and peers through the small slit in her blinds. At the end of the staircase, STEFANI sits on the couch, legs crossed and hands in lap. The only sound comes from the faint hum of the tree’s lights]
Madonna: you’re up early.
Stefani: i know mom
Madonna: if you got more beauty sleep, maybe you’d look like me. just a thought.
[STEFANI doesn’t speak. MADONNA is shocked, expecting the usual death threat]
Madonna: huh. this christmas morning might be cordial. i remember last year, when you-
[MADONNA looks at the empty space underneath the tree]
Madonna: stefani, where is everything?
[STEFANI grins, her dazed gaze away from MADONNA]
Madonna: didn’t you have elizabeth over last night? and, where is…
Stefani: its just you and me mom
[MADONNA’S skin crawls, as she stares at STEFANI’S smug face]
Madonna: what did you fucking do this time? i thought slashing my camry’s tires and carving “WORTHLESS HASBEEN” into the windshield was your last festive surprise.
[STEFANI scoots over and pats the cushion besides her. MADONNA, reluctant, sits]
Stefani: this is what today is all about
Stefani: bonding
Stefani: those presents were all the same too
Stefani: from madonna and to madonna
Stefani: soooo boring :/
Madonna: i bought you a gift this year, stefani. it was a dreamcast with jet grind radio, the same one you tried to steal from eb games.
Madonna: i was anticipating it, helping your grubby, snotty little hands set up the wires.
Stefani: oh
[STEFANI recalls throwing a garbage sack into the lake, the night sky over her]
Stefani: too late
[MADONNA watches the fireplace. Embers reflect in her eyes, and her jaw lowers. A blonde poppet burns on the log]
Stefani: merry christmas mom….
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