you don't see me

nia ; she/her ; dual-wields — IGNORE MY OLD POSTS PLSSS ((just an archive

[kleefkruid]

My cats have this meow that means "please come with me to fix this" after which they'll lead me to the problem in question, usually a empty (or 'empty') food bowl or a closed door they want open. They look at the 'problem', they look back at me, clear message.

What fascinates me is how this illustrates what they percieve as being in the realm of my 'power.' I control the food, I control the door, sure, but my cats love to sit on the balcony in the sun, and it has happened plenty of times that on a rainy day they come get me, go to the balcony and show me... the rain. "Please fix this" they say. "Please get rid of the wet"

"Silly kitty," I say, "I can't control the rain." I then walk into the shower and turn on the rain.

[josketches]

the crows flower series

kaz brekker - mandevillas. mandevillas are beautiful but have a meaning of anger and sadness from losing something/someone you love.

inej ghafa - potentillas. potentillas are known to signify courage, healing and fresh starts.

nina zenik - amaryllis. amaryllis flowers represent strength and determination, and different colors represent different things. red means romantic love/passion, and pink means cherished friendship.

matthias helvar - irises/bearded irises. iris flowers are known to symbolize nobility, valor, and faith.

wylan hendricks - lotuses. lotus flowers are known to symbolize purity, strength, and rebirth.

jesper fahey - chrysanthemums. chrysanthemum flowers are meant to represent passion, happiness, and good vibes.

also posted on Instagram individually under josketches !

[platformcowboyboots]

me five shots deep: no, no, you don't understand. the point is all the main couples mirror each other. nina and matthias are child soldiers loyal to their country above almost everything else. jesper and wylan have low self esteems, fathers deeply important to the narrative, and are fundamentally mommas' boys. and kaz and inej-

the person trying to fuck me at the bar, nodding: -are the two deadliest people in the barrel and they can't even touch each other without keeling over.

me: exactly! and one more thing-

[whimzzzyarts]

Kaz to the reader: Take that, you motherfucker, you thought reading my P.O.V would give away the plan? Well, sike! Cause my brain is 24/7 Inej, Inej, and Inej and nothing else. You're welcome.

[insignificant457]

thinking about this moment again:

particularly in regards to this conversation:

thinking about inej, who is actively dying, asking kaz for an apology. inej, whose native tongue leaves no room for triviality here. this isn’t “you were mean to me and you need to make nice,” it’s so much deeper.

this is “promise me you won’t treat me like a piece in your chess game again. promise me you won’t keep acting like i’m replaceable. promise me i’m not just another one of your investments.”

this is the first time we see inej holding kaz accountable, the first time we see her ask him to be more, to do better. this is the precursor to the “without armor” conversation. and i think it’s fitting that we never hear whether or not kaz did apologize. because at this point, i don’t think he’s ready to give inej what she’s really asking for here, and in a way, it’s best that she doesn’t hear him say the words. he’s not ready to mean them yet.

[thoughtkick]

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

[willievilli-deactivated20260111]

I think the reason this movie resonated with me so deeply is because it reflects on how restrictive the world we live in actually is—how we've created these meaningless limitations we call 'norms' today. We live in such a constructed world that we don't even realize how confined we are. We forget the meaning of freedom and love. And whenever somebody doesn't 'fit in,' the society is just so quick to cast them out.

[giyuko]

his outfits were soooooooo cute

[metamorphesque]

“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating.”

— Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

[metamorphesque]

musings on writing

Heaven Is Not Verbose: A Notebook by Vera Pavlova (tr. Steven Seymour), Letters Home by Sylvia Plath, MaddAddam by Margaret Atwood, A Breath of Life by Clarice Lispector, Isak Dinesen quoted by Raymond Carver, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath, from a letter to Max Brod by Franz Kafka, Conversations with Kafka by Gustav Janouch, The Story of the Lost Child by Elena Ferrante, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

buy me a coffee

[metamorphesque]

To Say Dark Things, Ingeborg Bachmann

[metamorphesque]

tenderness is in the hands ― Carolyn Forché, L’Avventura (1960), Ocean Vuong, The White Ribbon (2009), Hart Crane, Gelatin Silver, Love (2009), Ingeborg Bachmann, Les amants du Pont-Neuf (1991), Sylvia Plath, Psycho (1960), Rod McKuen (stills by @forhandsthatsuffer)

[metamorphesque]

— a girl is a haunted house, tathève simonyan

[text ID: “This is me”, he whispers and I can feel the breath of his fist on my virgin cheekbone. / “This is me”, his voice is clearer, “do you take me as I am?” / But all I can think of is how my mother invented helplessness to raise my father up. / I refuse to build a throne on my head for another man.]

[asoftepiloguemylove]

DOESN'T MATTER 'CAUSE IT'S ENOUGH TO BE YOUNG AND IN LOVE

Mitski My Love Mine All Mine // Blade Runner 2049 (2017) dir. Denis Villeneuve // E.E. Cummings Collected Poems // Jane Eyre (2011) dir. Cary Joji Fukunaga // &TEAM FIREWORK // Joan Tierney The Elektra Complex // pinterest // 怪物 Monster (2023) dir. Hirokazu Kore-eda // pinterest // Taylor Swift invisible string // unknown // 刻在你心底的名字 Your Name Engraved Herein (2020) dir. Patrick Kuang-Hui Liu // Frank Ocean End/Golden Girl

[finalvortex]

something about ships and anchors

The Crane Wives - Safe Ship, Harbored / Nobody / Never Love an Anchor / Shallow River / Not the Ghost / Volta / The Diving Bell

[metamorphesque]

poems I loved in december

Paruyr Sevak, "To Go Mad"

Anne Sexton, "December 18th"

Ted Hughes, "Lovesong"

Chris Abani, "Ritual is Journey"

Franz Wright, "Untitled"

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, "A Prayer"

Willie Perdomo, "Maybe Under Some Other Sky"

Osip Mandelstam,'You took away all the oceans and all the room', (translated by Clarence Brown and W. S. Merwin)

Osip Mandelstam, "Tenderer than tender" transl. D. Smirnov-Sadovsky

Richard Siken, "Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out"

Michael Miller, "December"

Vladimir Mayakovsky, "A Cloud in Trousers"

Mohja Kahf, “Most Wanted”

Louise Glück, "Winter Recipes from the Collective"

Vladimir Mayakovsky, "Listen"

Fear, Czesław Miłosz, Robert Hass (translator)

Hope, Czesław Miłosz, Robert Hass (translator)

Charles Bukowski, "a vote for the gentle light"

Marina Tsvetaeva, "I Opened My Veins" (translated by Elaine Feinstein)

[dcvina-claires]

matthias’ “the water hears and understands. the ice does not forgive” thing is especially interesting when you realize that water is a motif for the worst thing to ever happen to the crows. on a surface level point of view, it seems like the water has never once heard or understood any of them. it tried to kill kaz and wylan. it did kill jesper’s mother. it brought inej to the menagerie. it stranded nina and matthias… overall there’s no proof that the water held sympathy for any of them. but then, if you dig deeper into it, you actually start to realize that it’s the only thing that DID hold sympathy for them. the water saw kaz and wylan, two boys betrayed by their father figures and dying in the canal, and let them live. they shouldn’t have been able to survive that, but the water told them to keep fighting and they found their way to shore with a strength that wasn’t there before. the water killed jesper’s mother, yes, but it also brought jesper to ketterdam, the place where he would meet the most important people to him, including the love of his life. going to ketterdam made him rich in the end. water brought inej to the menagerie but it also became her weapon. the water understood that it hurt inej and let her use it to seek her revenge. finally, if the water hadn’t stranded nina and matthias, nina would’ve died in a country that hated her and matthias would’ve passed the point of redemption. instead, nina and matthias both learned how to love and even though matthias dies at the end, he does so surrounded by his loved ones. he does so because the water understood that it was his time, that he was at peace with it. and when he once again finds himself on the ice, he discovers that against all odds, it has forgiven him, too