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I can fast like it’s nothing and only eat veggies, salad, healthy proteins, fruit, and the occasional single bowl of ramen.✨

(me manifesting)

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I would kind of enjoy some community for motivation but I binge too hard for the disordered circles and restrict too much + wanna be too th1n + have unacceptable views etc for normal circles.. plus everyone in those communities are usually teens (and also have this super judgemental view about how adults should be busy with awesome careers and babies and perfect lives instead of on the internet lmao?)(also it’s sad all these people are doing this so young and also being so mean to each other)

Also twt won’t let me make another acc anyway so guess I’m stuck talking to myself here

I fr would kind of love an adults only space that welcomes the entire spectrum of misc eds without all the health talk

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Yo telling someone they ruined their body for good is not “meanspo” it’s being a bitch lol even if it’s true (because I am one of those people who realizes my body will always be somewhat fucked). I thought the point was to make them motivated, not make them wanna d*e?

(About a twt post)

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It’s weird to me that I seem to be the only person who will admit that I think people (adults) should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies/lives EVEN if it’s harmful to them. The only people it should matter to is their family/partner. I know some people think a thin or fat person existing happily “promotes” disorders but like… just teach kids healthy habits and don’t expect the entire world to parent them or cater to you… idgaf if someone is huge or stick thin through excessive if they prefer it that way, because it is THEIR life and body. (Also some people truly do not lose weight without a huge deficit). I’d compare it to drinking/dr*g use but those are much more likely to harm other people in the form of car accidents and shit. Anyway yeah let people of all sizes enjoy themselves, however which way they achieved that size (because it’s never the business of a stranger) as long as they aren’t flaunting the details (their diet or talks of it). I don’t get why people wanna force people into recovery/hiding themselves away or why people (men) get so stupidly douchey about fat women.

I made a similar post before but idk it irritates me how society is just so controlling I guess, even when it’s meant to be about health/mental health.

Ofc I also lean toward not forcing someone to live which is also an unpopular opinion (and I guess technically no one is forced to but yeah ykwim)

It is nice when some people leave people alone after they confess they do not wish to be healthy, but I still feel like people shouldn’t be bombarded with so many comments on their weight in the first place when they never actually talk about that stuff anyway

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Ugh even if I don’t drink much I get depressed af the day after…😔

Also sucks cuz I don’t feel relaxed and comfortable enough to be physically affectionate with people without it (while craving affection more than anything). I mean after the first time with my ex I was but obviously I don’t have him in life to do that stuff with🙃

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Well an event I was hoping to be back at 130 for is tomorrow and I’ve been a disaster the last month instead of losing weight so that’s cool.

Anyway I at least kept cals about 1000 yesterday and 0 today (I am not counting my sugary coffees sorry, I use those to help keep massive depression away lmao.. I try to focus on solid cals as long as my liquid cals are 1 drink). I also went to the gym today after not going for a week. 30 mins on stair machine as usual. I don’t even have the gas or gas money to be going right now but wanna feel the best I can tomorrow night to not wanna cry so much about being a lump of pudge lol

I really wanted my sternum back for when I dress up but I fucked that up🙃 at least I can always go to the bar in something cute any time so I can have another chance to enjoy it. But am sad what I wanted to wear isn’t gonna hit nearly as nice with a boring chest and love handles poking over my jeans

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Well nothing like moldy tasting popcorn (wtf) cutting your 5929384828248283th binge short. Starting a long good streak and weight loss again

PLEASE HOLY FCK

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I’m sure I’m not healthy enough to attempt to not eat for a week (and I feel exhausted after 48hrs) but the urge is always there bc I cannot stand my fat. Not that I’m even able to control myself that long anyway.

I did buy stuff for cauliflower soup so I need to make that while the cauliflower is still good and try to only eat that and some protein for awhile to stave off binges..

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My round ass shoulders have to be one of the random things I have always hated SO MUCH, always ruining pictures and junk omfg I need thin bony shoulders asap

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My week so far: binge, fast, 950 cals (def not considered a binge for me bc my binging is cals upon cals and 950 is technically undereating), binge, fast

help😭

Fasts and gym used to help me at least do decently but lately I am off the rails idk what to do atp other than keep trying

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I’m seriously too moody, irritable, broke, and done with everything to have friends anymore I swear. I wanna go on trips but I wanna do it alone. I wanna go out but only on my own time when I’m feeling good and actually want to spare the money. I get bored without drinks but I don’t wanna drink much etc. idk. Am too boring and antisocial anymore to be a good friend I think so it makes me sad my friends won’t seem to make better friends so they can have someone else there for them more often

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I wish my binge foods were like carrots or smth🙄

(Wait I guess they actually can turn you orange lmao, so celery maybe)

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I think my brother’s gf has an ED and he jokes/talks about it casually around family sometimes and idk if he’s oblivious or doesn’t think it could embarrass her/is a big deal or what but I feel bad for her😬 she’s absolutely perfect but always barely eating (around us) and being a picky eater and supposedly has a shrine to a model so idk maybe she does or doesn’t but ye

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Getting massively depressed after a binge or because of my weight/body, yet my craving to binge/compulsively eat being at its worst when I’m depressed is the most vicious and stupid cycle ever

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Am lonely as fuck.😔

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I hate smelling food my family makes. If only it didn’t pretty much take a $70k salary to live on your own nowadays….

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What’s stupid is he messaged me a few weeks ago acting like he was possibly interested again but I still don’t have the money to make that happen (distance) because of my dumbass low paying, no education job and vet bills and credit cards.