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[ikajo00]

Non-alien human alien #12 Taboo

It wasn’t often Anna was sent as the main representative of Helios to a planet, especially not while representing the whole of humanity. The Mola, however, had completely refused to allow any male to set a foot on their planet. Thus, Anna had been chosen to head the delegation. As it happened, Kaneeshaa had also been included as her bodyguard. Since only the two of them had been allowed to land.

The planet Molanda itself was nothing extraordinary. It had a slightly arid climate, and the Mola people were naturally plump, to store water and nutrients. Most of them had black carapace on their backs, though the younglings had colourful ones instead. Blue for the female young, red for the male ones. Although, Kaneeshaa only spotted a female youngling sitting on a balcony thanks to her sharp eyes.

Moving through the Mola city, guided by an adult male Mola, the human and Shrieeshka didn’t see any females at all. Maybe they had heard about human aggression and hidden their females away? Had it been anyone other than Anna, Kaneeshaa would have agreed to the measure. Granted, if you didn’t know the human’s mellow personality, acting based on more common knowledge made sense.

Anna herself were looking around the city, face unreadable. At one point she stopped and looked at a house. Taking in the tall bulbous building lacking any kind of corner. Urged by the guide, they continued through the city towards the Chancellors’ Palace. The seat of power among the Mola. It was by far the largest building, nearly the same size as the city itself. Doubling as the living place for the Mola leaders, the Chancellors.

“Welcome, human, bird", the High Chancellor said, vibrating his fat sacks in greeting. Anna gave a measured bow, Kaneeshaa flapped her wings. It was rude to be called bird, correct term was either Shrieeshkan or Bird Person, but no point in becoming upset.

“Thank you, Chancellor”, Anna said. “My name is Anna Storm. I’m here on the behalf of the IRSC, one of the Intergalactic Federation’s allies.”

“We know of the human space organization”, the High Chancellor said. He didn’t offer his name. “We are appreciative that your people agreed to send a female. Strange males could easily upset our delicate females. I must say, I had heard human females tend to be rather flat. It is pleasing to see a proper round female.”

Anna raised an eyebrow questioningly, but since the Mola lacked eyebrows they didn’t seem register the gesture. The human gave a closed mouth smile.

“Chancellor, humans think it is inappropriate to comment on another person’s body, especially in a professional setting", she said in a strangely light voice.

“Oh? And here I thought only females were overly sensitive like that. To think a whole people could be as delicate as females, especially one known for being so ferocious. Goes to show what happens when you put females in charge.” The Chancellor’s voice was dismissive, condescending.

“Shall we head inside?” Anna asked, her expression stiff.

“Not the main Palace. We will talk in my personal quarters. Females are not allowed in the Hall of Rules.”

“Oh, wow, I am so impressed by your wisdom.” The human’s voice was deadpan, her expression betraying that she was, in fact, not impressed.

The personal quarters of the High Chancellor were big. Enhanced by the lack of corners, creating a sense of space more prominent than the actual area. Inside was a female Mola, a youngling, going by her bright blue carapace, only half the height of the High Chancellor. Seeing the youngling, Anna immediately brightened and bent down. Giving the female a genuine smile.

“Hi there", she said. “What’s your name?” The female mumbled something. “Neema, what a pretty name. And how old are you?”

The female, Neema, held out all of her six fingers on each hand, paused, and then folded two. Meaning she was ten Molandran years old. Anna cooed over the small female, talking softly to her. Only turning to the High Chancellor as the male went to stand beside Neema.

“Your daughter is adorable”, the human said while straightening.

“Neema isn’t my daughter, she is my wife", the Chancellor said.

Anna froze, her smile turning strained. “I’m sorry, what?” she said.

“Neema is my wife", the male put a six fingered hand on the youngling’s head, sounding proud. “She is even carrying my brood right now.”

“I... see... and is this common, here?”

“Of course! Everyone knows females need to be married away at the first sign of maturity. Otherwise, they will get up to all kinds of nonsense. Not to mention that we can’t miss the prime age of brooding.”

“And the males?”

“Need more time to mature, obviously. A male needs to be stable and have a proper position in society before he can take a wife. Why, the proper age for a male to marry is after thirty.”

The High Chancellor laughed loudly, his sacks vibrating. Completely missing the expression on Anna’s face. Kaneeshaa almost recoiled when she saw it on her friend. It was an expression of pure rage. The normally placid woman was tense, her whole body looking like it was on the verge of committing unspeakable violence. Only held in check by immense self-control.

For the rest of the visit, Anna was cold. Her interactions with the Mola harsh and precise. Not that the Chancellors noticed, but if it was because Anna was human, or because she was female was hard to tell. On the shuttle back to the Helios, the woman was furiously tapping away on her rectangle. Her eyes focused.

----------

Two months later, Astrom released a book called Tears of Innocence that was about a young Mola female trapped in a marriage against her will. The book introduced a concept, a wording: child bride. Because Astrom was one of the most popular authors in the known galaxies, the book was read by a large audience. It can’t be overstated how much influence this author has on their reader.

As people read Tears of Innocence, perception of certain practices started to change. Starting with the idea that children had autonomy and deserved to be protected against harm. Which of course extended to protection against predatory behaviour. Up until this book, the word ‘predatory’ had only been understood in the context of hunting for food. Now, the galaxies was presented with the idea that intimacy could be forced. And that intentionally intending to force someone into intimacy was predatory, especially towards children.

Then, the IRSC got involved.

------------

“Director General Andersson", the Palan Council member of the Intergalactic Federation said. “You can’t be quite serious! Humans withdrawing support from any planet following its own culture is preposterous!”

Director General Hanna Andersson of the IRSC crossed her arms and looked out at the assembly. She was an older woman, with steel grey hair, and sharp eyes. Those who took her age as a sign of weakness would soon realise their mistake.

“When those cultures go against our own taboos, we will very much withdraw our support", she said. “Especially when it involves children. We will not, under any circumstances, endorse cultures that practice child marriages. Moreover, we will not endorse any culture that oppress any person within its population. Especially not based on gender.”

“Silence, female!” the Mola representative bellowed. “Be glad you are even allowed to speak.”

Andersson turned her sharp gaze on the Mola. Her expression calm. “How old is your wife, representative?”

“She is twelve, what about it?”

“And how long have you been married?”

“Five years. What it is this about you flat broad?”

All around, people were eyeing the Mola representative warily. Angering a human was usually a really bad idea, and the Mola was already on thin ice. Andersson was still deceptively calm.

“Tell me, have your ‘wife’ had any children?”

“She is carrying her third brood, not that is any of your business”, the Mola representative growled. Missing the looks of horror spreading throughout the assembly. Most species cared for their young, and would find the idea of making a youngling being forced to mate apprehensive. Some of those who shared the Mola views were dismissive of how much of an impact humans withdrawing support could actually have. Not realising the immense impact the humans had had on the galaxies.

Turning back to the leader of the assembly, the core of the Intergalactic Federation, Andersson held her head high.

“This is our warning. Make no mistake, humanity has waged war against one another because of insults. We wouldn’t hesitate to wage war if it meant ending the suffering of children. And we wouldn’t have to resort to weaponry. Not at first. As Tears of Innocence has proven, words have power as well. We will make certain that no one can hide behind wilful ignorance. Humanity doesn’t need the Intergalactic Federation, you need us. Keep that in mind.”

------------

The Federation more or less immediately outlawed child marriage, and forced its members to implement an age of maturity. Any member planet that refused first received sanctions, and if they persisted, they would suffer penalties. No planet dared leave the Federation. Not after the humans had received endorsement to crush any society that engaged in barbaric practices. Most of those practices being human taboos.

------------

Among the non-human crew of Helios, who knew Anna was Astrom, there was now an understanding that while Anna wasn’t physically strong she still wielded power. And that she definitely was able to tap into her predatory, the food hunting kind, instincts when needed. Woe those who found themselves her target, even if they deserved it.

[ikajo00]

Non-alien human alien #11

On the unification of symbols and measurement systems in the Intergalactic Federation. By Undra Hran from the planet Glau, chairbeing in the Intergalactic Federation’s Council.

Introduction

The one constant between all sentient beings across the known galaxies is the desire to measure things. Be it time, distant, weight, or even mating suitability. As one might gather, each civilization had spent their time creating their own unique form of measurement, using the symbols unique to their own world to express these measurements.

While these forms of measurements posed no issues while being confined to one’s own world, once a civilization reaches the point of galactic exploration the different systems required incorporation into the Intergalactic Federation’s database and given an algorithm that allowed for conversion between all other existing measurement system. This could often times get confusing, especially when the base numbers used did not match, or when the system didn’t follow a logical progression that allowed for precision.

This caused issues in regard to both cooperative projects, and in regard to trade. For example, 10 yips of worm silk was once put in as 10 yops instead. The problem is that 10 yops is 2,76 times more than yips, but since yips and yops originated from different planets, this mistake wasn’t caught immediately.

Enter the humans.

Metric System

This author do acknowledge that humans are by far a belligerent bunch. In fact, I had the privilege of being one of the first beings to visit this deathworld. Before we were aware it was a deathworld. Regardless of humans' violent and often unnerving nature, one cannot ignore their ingenuity when it comes to creating logical and easy to use measurements.

By large, all humans use the same basic system to measure everything, based on the number 10. They call this system the Metric System, since everything is based on this meter. This system allows them to increase and decrease the base without the number losing its value. For example, the meter.

A meter, 1 m, can be broken down to 10 decimeters, 100 centimetres, or 1000 millimetres without the value changing. This allows for exceedingly precise measurements.

What makes the Metric System so versatile, however, is that the same system is applied to everything except time. Regardless of what you are measuring, it follows the same principle, even while using different units. By using 10 as a base. 1 kilogram is 1000 gram. 1 litre is 10 decilitres. There are even units for measuring even the smallest thing, using the same principle.

Baked into the Metric System is also a way to measure temperature that uses the freezing point of water as the starting point. This unit is called Celsius, and the freezing point of water is called 0° Celsius, or 0°C. The boiling point of water is 100°C. As a reference point, the normal body temperature of a healthy human body is around 37°C.

It should be noted that this system also uses negatives for any temperature below 0°C, called subzero temperatures, and humans actually lives in areas that regularly experience subzero temperatures.

Time

Like all measurement, different planets have used different types of measurements to divide the passing of time into easily understood intervals. For example, my own homeworld of Glau uses Farts (humans always seem amused when this is mentioned), and a planet cycle has 34,6 Farts in it.

However, ever since the introduction of humans, the Intergalactic Federation has implemented the Earthly way of measuring time. Using the idea of days, hours, minutes, seconds. An hour is 60 minutes, a minute is 60 seconds. By that measure, Glau has 60 hours in a day, a Glau solar cycle takes 251 days. Note that humans call a solar cycle a year.

Symbols

As many have likely realised by this point, I have made use of the recently introduced symbols to represent numbers. Though these symbols are by now universally accepted across the Federation, not many are aware that these numbers actually originated on Earth. The benefit of these numerical symbols is that there are only ten of them, yet they can be combined to make infinite variations. Compared to other writing systems that make use of make use of hundreds of symbols to accomplish the same thing.

Streamlining communication is also behind the recent push to implement the use of a human lettering system. While there are human languages that make use of other system, all humans are familiar with the lettering system. While there are more letters than numbers, and some languages using additional letters, these letters can, similarly to numbers, be used in infinite combinations.

Conclusion

We in the Intergalactic Federation understand that aiming for hegemony among our members might be conceived as an attempt to erase individual cultures. However, the purpose of cohesive measurements and symbols is to reduce the risk of conflict caused by miscommunication. It is understandable that some may feel uneasy using systems created by such a primitive species as humans. What can be argued is that a concept and an idea should now be dismissed because it was created by those lesser than us.

(The Intergalactic Federation also heavily advise against ever telling a human that they might be considered lesser beings. Humans have strong feelings about that kind of thing.)

Ever since the Federation implemented the Metric System, cooperation, trade, and general communication have improved remarkably. Using human time measure have also reduced the risk of confusion when setting up meetings. The unification of measurements and symbols is by far the greatest contribution from humans to the Intergalactic community. While individual civilizations are still using their own versions on their own worlds, the unified systems are now considered standard.

[ikajo00]

Non-alien human alien #10 Convergent Evolution

Keeping her expression under control, Anna made certain to thank the Zoid leader for allowing them to visit the Zoid homeworld. She even managed to shake the claw extended to her with minimum reaction. Only once they were safely aboard the shuttle to take them back to Helios did she allow herself to laugh. Much to confusion of the rest of the contingency from the Intergalactic Federation. She didn’t even bother to explain.

Because the Zoid looked exactly like the character Zoidberg from the ancient cartoon Futurama. Even the name of the species were near identical to the character. How could she not find it funny? Anna had nearly cracked when the leader had sounded almost like the character in question. Thinking back to her interactions with the Zoid leader, she couldn’t help but laugh loudly.

“Human?” a being looking like a giant shrimp asked primly. “Are you well? Are you having some kind of medical issue? I’m told some of you can be around my kind.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine", Anna said, getting her laughter under control. “I was just laughing?”

“Laughing? That hacking sound?”

“Yeah, it means I find something funny. At least in this case.”

“I... see... well, if you are sure...”

Anna calmed herself, for now, and let the quiet in the shuttle be. Not that she sat idle, instead she sneakily used her screen to create a compilation of her interactions with the Zoid, so she could show the Helios crew later.

Laughter filled the cafeteria as the human crew members roared and hooted. Eyes tracked on Anna’s screen. Rodrigues lifted his hands and mimicked claws, scuttling.

“Popopo", he pushed out, making his voice higher pitched.

Kaneeshaa stared at the human merriment, feeling completely out of her depth. Even though Anna was usually a human she could understand, at the moment, the woman was in the middle of this chaos. Humans were throwing around phrases that apparently held some significance to them, as people seemed to know these references. Even Captain and Vice-Captain Vance were participating.

“Girl, how in the world did you managed to keep you face straight?” a female crew member cackled to Anna, who surprisingly grinned.

“With immense effort”, she said. “I broke in the shuttle, and the others thought I had some kind of medical issue. Especially that one who looks like a giant shrimp.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me of the Mrepers", Engineer Yang said. “For some reason, seeing them always makes me feel hungry.”

“Woah, Yang", Slakov said while grinning. “Are you trying to be a cannibal?”

“What, I never said I was going to ear a Mreper! But come one, they look like shrimp, I love shrimp, so I get super hungry when I see a giant shrimp!” Yang shoot back.

“I don’t like seafood", Anna noted. For some reason, several humans froze, looked at her, and did something on those rectangles the humans carried around. Muttering about dangerous food.

“But that raises an interesting question, doesn’t it?” Vice-Captain Vance said. “How is it that so many sentient beings in the known galaxies looks like bigger or smaller versions of Earth animals? We have birds, reptiles, crustaceans, and even some insects.”

“Oh, I think I know the answer to this one", Anna said, holding up a hand. “I heard about in documentary. It is called Convergent Evolution. Something something about traits repeating.”

“Convergent Evolution is when the same or similar trait develops independently in two unrelated species”, Biologist Virtanen followed up. “We see it in animals on Earth. That would actually explain why we see so much similarity.”

“We haven’t seen any primates yet, though", Captain Vance mused. “Or any mammals from Earth. Heck, pregnancy like mammals do it seem quite uncommon in and off.”

Kaneeshaa had seen a pregnant human, once. The idea of carrying an egg in your body for that long seemed mind of crazy. She couldn’t understand what humans could gain by having offspring that way. Eggs were more economical. Especially when you could just use heat lamps and the like instead of sitting on the egg.

Eventually, the humans had to return to their duties and drifted away. Some of them still doing strange things.

“Popopo", Rodrigues still pretended to snap his hands like claws and scuttle while making weird noises. Moreau slammed her fist into the man’s head so hard Kaneeshaa was prepared for Rodrigues to have to be transported to the morgue. Instead, he let out a loud noise of pain and clutched his head. Letting out a series of words whose meaning escaped Kaneeshaa, Rodrigues narrowed his eyes at Moreau.

“That hurt!” he barked.

“Don’t be a baby, I’ve seen you intentionally hit your head against the wall much harder", Moreau sniffed. “Besides, you were being annoying.”

The two headed out alongside most other humans. Kaneeshaa waited until it was fairly empty on the cafeteria before she joined Anna’s table. Her friend was smiling, but looked a bit tired. Anna played the footage again, giggling to herself.

“That was... unexpected...” Kaneeshaa said carefully.

“What was?”

“You, in that group. The whole thing.”

The human sighed. “Kaneeshaa, I might not be similar to the extroverted training nuts populating this star cruiser, but I’m not some kind of human outcast", Anna said. “This is just a case of me having something in common with my colleagues, and that something was funny.”

“I fear I don’t understand the funny part. The Zoid is just being a Zoid, no?”

Her human friend looked at her unblinking for a long moment. Then her lips curved. Taking out her larger rectangle, Anna fiddled with it and then handed it to Kaneeshaa. There was a drawing of a Zoid in human clothing.

“That character was created nearly two thousand years ago, by a human”, Anna said triumphantly. But the Shrieeshka couldn’t help but feel a combination of dread and fascination. Who knew some humans had the ability to see the future? They had to be special, prophets even. What if there were prophets living among the humans right now?

Better not to think about it....

[ikajo00]

Non-alien human alien #9 Parasitic

 Her first impression of Guffa was the humidity. The air on the planet was both warm and humid. Having grown up in Sweden, Anna wasn’t used to the sensation but at least it was doing wonders for her skin. Her hands were usually perpetually dry, and now they were softening rapidly. Her second impression was Oh, a walking alligator! which wasn’t referencing a rock or anything. Rather, the sentient species of Guffa looked quite literally like reptiles. Large, reptiles walking on two legs.

The IRSC had received a request from the Intergalactic Federation to handle the negotiations with the Guffans, on the basis that humans were also classified as predators. In response, the IRSC had reached out to Captain Vance, asking that he would bring Anna to meet this alien race. On the basis that she seemed to get along with most non-humans, or at least not offend them by accident.

She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to feel flattered or offended, but it could have been worse. Studying the Guffans in front of her, she quickly categorised them according to their resemblance to similar animals on Earth. There were alligators and crocodiles, lizards, snakes, and tortoises. Supposedly, there were some Guffans who were primarily aquatic, which she figured meant turtles. There might have been subspecies represented, but Anna wasn’t very interested in zoology, thus haven’t bothered to learn beyond the occasional documentary.

Leading the Guffans were an alligator dressed in a toga, his eyes were beady, and his voice was guttural. There was no way for a human voice box to produce the sounds of his name, so he was called Gustav. At least, Anna had accidentally called him that, and he had laughed in response. Laughing alligators were scary... but at least he has liked it. His second was a monitor lizard (look at her knowing things!) and she had given him the name Carl. Because he looked like a Carl.

Drawing her eyes were the protruding red dots on many of the Guffans’ faces. Especially those she could safely recognise as lizards. At first, she figured they were simply a characteristic of Guffans, but then she realised not all of them had those red dots. She also noticed some dots were larger than others. All of them concentrated around the eye, looking kind of painful. That’s when she remembered a documentary she had watched, a really, really old one, from the Archive Servers. With that old guy from what was now called Britannia, Anna was sure he had been named Attenborough.

Either way, the documentary had been about lizards of many shapes and forms. Some of those lizards had had similar red dots around their eyes. If she remembered correctly, the red dots were actually...

“Are those parasites?” Anna spurted out, making Captain Vance freeze beside her. He gave her an almost panicked look. However, the Guffans didn’t seem upset by the question. The translator crackled a little as Carl answered her.

“Yes", he lisped. “We call them Red Blinders. Many of us has these, and we can not remove them.”

“Because it would be too painful?” she asked.

“We can’t reach", Gustav said, demonstrating how his stubby arms wouldn’t reach his eyes. “And our fingers are too thick to pick them off.”

Thinking for a moment, Anna took off her backpack and started digging inside it. Pulling out a case where she kept her tweezers. Opening the case, she chose the pair of tweezers with the thinnest prongs.

“Would you be okay with me giving it a try?” she asked. Beside her, the Captain was trying to signal her to stop, but she ignored him. The Guffans looked at each other, unsure. Finally, Carl shrugged and lowered himself down, giving her access. Carefully, she moved the tweezers so the prongs were under the red parasite, pinched, and pulled upwards. There was some resistance, but the bloodsucker was dislodged surprisingly easy.

Anna held it in her tweezers, unsure what to do with it, until Rodrigues offered a paper cup and she put it inside. They could dispose of the parasites later. Carefully, she plucked the parasites off one by one, until none were left. Carl blinked, and let out what could only be called a sigh of relief.

“Thank you, human", he said to her, bowing his head. “This tool, could we use it too?”

“Only one way to find out.” She let him borrow the tweezers, and after showing him how to use it, he started plucking parasites from another Guffan. He wasn’t as effective as Anna, but she was sure they would do better with some practice. Now at least they would have a way to deal with those nasty bloodsuckers.

“Tell the Intergalactic Federation we will join in exchange for a continuous supply of these... tweezers”, Gustav rumbled. Making the Captain startle.

“You will join in exchange for tweezers?” he asked. “That’s all?”

“Yes, and if you have other tools we could use, we would like to trade with you humans", the Guffan leader said. “We have colourful rocks you might like.” One tortoise held out a box with asymmetrical stone and metal clumps around fist sized.

“Are those gems and...” Anna began but was interrupted by Captain Vance.

“Deal! Rodrigues, tell everyone to search the ship to see if they can find other stuff onboard Helios, and send it down.”

“Aye aye Captain!” Rodrigues made a salute and returned to the shuttle in order to send the instructions. Anna leaned closer to the Captain.

“Metals I can understand, but you do know that the value of gemstones are mostly determined by scarcity, right?” she said softly.

“Of course I know that, but the gemstones can be used for further trade with other planets”, Vance hissed back at her. “Now shut up!”

Rude.

It took about thirty minutes before a second shuttle landed, filled with miscellaneous things the crew had gathered. The Guffans were delighted by most of it, even though some of the tools were used in ways that they had definitely not been intended. Using a screwdriver to remove old scales? Sure, why not. Using a metal file to sharpen or shape claws, not so strange.

Either way, the first trade was successful, and the Intergalactic Federation was very pleased to learn about Guffa officially joining the organisation. They were less pleased to learn the humans had jumped ahead and managed to grab a trade deal before anyone else. Though, they had to admit no other sentient species had the kind of tools the Guffans wanted.

Kaneeshaa looked at Anna with admiration. “It is amazing you knew how to remove those parasites”, she said. The human shrugged while putting the yellowish, cooked, goo in her mouth.

“My folks had dogs when I was growing up. We always had to remove ticks from them using tweezers.”

“Ticks?”

“A kind of parasite that attaches to the skin by biting and then starts sucking blood. Some can get pretty big. I honestly wouldn’t have minded if the Big Melt had taken out ticks, but no such luck. Bastards.”

“They... bite you and suck your blood?” Kaneeshaa tried to imagine these... ticks... and could only picture some human-like figured who would bite the necks of other creatures to suck their blood. She mentioned this to her friend.

“I said ticks, not vampires", Anna replied. Making the Shrieeshka wonder just what kind of horrors haunted the humans. No wonder Earth was called a deathworld. Even their parasites were huge!

[ikajo00]

Non-alien human alien #8 Sticky Ideas

The venue was large and the amount of people created a loud buzz, even so, Anna vastly preferred this to a dance party. Captain Vance had received a commendation for his services and most of Helios crew had been invited to participate in the ceremony. Most had joined them based on the fact that there would be free food in the form of a buffet.

For once, even Anna was finding things she could eat without any issues. Buffets were useful like that, at least in her opinion. Biting into some fried chicken she enjoyed the crunch, and heard a similar crunch to her side. Turning her head, she looked at Rodrigues with a raised eyebrow. He was chewing a piece of fried chicken, looking utterly miserable.

“What are you doing?” Anna asked. “You hate fried chicken.”

“Yeah, but you are eating it”, Rodrigues replied.

“So? I spotted some smoked salmon, and I know that you love smoked salmon. Why not eat that instead?”

“You don’t”, Jenna piped up.

She paused with her fork half-raised, looking around the table. Realising all of them had mimicked her, having the exact same food on her table. Feeling weird, Anna wondered if they were playing some kind of prank on her.

“There are a lot of things I don’t eat", she said. “Doesn’t mean you should mimic me. I don’t even eat sushi!”

The men and women around the table shared looks, leaning towards one another to talk softly.

“Should we stop eat sushi?” Adesina asked Wong.

“If she doesn’t eat it, there most be something wrong with it...” Wong replied. “I wouldn’t eat it.”

“Is it only the fish or is it all types of sushi?” Schultz pondered.

“All types, obviously!” Moreau shot back. Only for Schultz to nod thoughtfully.

Anna heard similar conversations around the table. Apparently, they were not pranking her, but their behaviour was bizarre. Not that long ago, several of them had made fun of her eating habits. So why were they suddenly eating like her? And sure, she was a picky eater, that was nothing new. In some ways, she held up better than others, but her limits were quite rigid at this point in her life. These guys? They would down even the most bizarre foods, no matter how alien the origin.

That’s when the credit dropped. All of them had gotten food poisoning from eating that foul alien fruit during the only planet side exploration expedition she had joined. The one she herself had spit out without swallowing. Apparently, it had traumatized then to the point where they refused to eat something she refused. Only...

“You guys realise that not all the things I don’t like is bad, right?” she said. “It is a pretty long list, if I’m being honest, and plenty of people eat stuff I won’t, everyday without issue. And that forcing yourself to eat something you don’t like is the exact opposite of what I’m doing.”

“Yeah, but you are like, a superhuman when it comes to taste", Jackson piped up. “So better safe than sorry.”

“I’m not superhuman! Sure, my senses are hyperactive and more sensitive, but that’s not always a good thing!” Anna protested. Yet to her frustration, the others became more convinced the more she tried to refute it. She could be stubborn, sure, but this was on a whole other level. Sure, the stupid fruit had caused food poisoning, but what if it hadn’t? Then she would have been the one looking like an idiot. There were so many foods she couldn’t make herself eat, some of which she hadn’t been able to make herself even try based on smell or how they looked. Some things she would never be able to make herself eat, even if she starved. Which is why it made no sense for trained military personnel to refuse to eat things because she wouldn’t, and force themselves to eat things she did.

Sighing, Anna decided it was no point in arguing. She wasn’t going to be able to convince them, and if it meant they stopped giving her grief over her eating habits she didn’t want to care. Let them deal with it themselves. But if they tried to take her cereal bars, she would start to throw hands!

__________________________________

Captain Jonathan Vance looked at the men and women around his table. They were unusually careful with their food. He himself had piled food on his plate, being the type who didn’t hate any food, and normally the others would be similar. You had to have something of an iron stomach to become an officer within the IRSC, after all. He turned to his husband and Vice Captain sitting next to him.

“Do you know what this is about?” he asked Mark.

“Kinda", his husband replied and leaned in closer, lowering his voice. “You know the guy who took over during our anniversary?”

“Yeah, Lincoln or whatever. The one who got into hot water for breaking protocol.”

“Him. Apparently, he took Anna with him on a exploration expedition.”

“...that was stupid of him... wait... he got into trouble for not bringing any food supplies, forcing the team to scavenge, which ended with food poisoning... if he brought Anna...”

“She naturally refused to eat something she wasn’t familiar with, though I heard she tried to eat it, but said it tasted foul. Long story short, those who listened to Anna escaped food poisoning. So, now everyone is nervous about eating food she won’t eat.”

“So, basically they are idiots?”

Mark paused and then nodded in amusement. “Pretty much. They will get over it.”

“I sure hope so, humans can be rather stubborn.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“Very funny.”

“You know you love me.”

They chuckled and returned to their food. Around the table, his officers exchanged glances and laughed nervously. Having heard the conversation. One or two rose to go fetch more food. Jonathan shoved some cornbread into his mouth. He really hoped this notion wouldn’t stay for too long, but the problem with sticky ideas, is that they had a tendency to stick around.

Pun intended.

[ikajo00]

Non-alien human alien #7 The Great Melt

Excerpt from Global History vol. 3

To understand how we as humans reached the level of living we are currently enjoying, there is one significant event that simply cannot be ignored. That is the Great Melt, a global catastrophe that pushed humanity to the brink of destruction. Moreover, this event was caused by humans in the first place.

While scholars are in disagreement of what were the main defining factor of what happened, all are in agreement that it was decisions made in the 21st century that ultimately lead to the Great Melt. At this point, a large majority was already aware that Earth was experiencing a significant increase in global temperature. Caused by the burning of fossil fuels (fossil fuels was liquid and gas made from prehistoric biological matter that had decomposed under certain conditions) which released greenhouse gases and caused pollution. Despite this the leaders of the world, both political and economical, mostly decided to ignore the very real threat and prioritised profit instead.

Some of the biggest culprits were the United States of America (modern day NAIUN, plus some additional nations), People’s Republic of China (modern day Asiana), and the private sector consisting of individuals driven by profit above all else. Economical inequality also caused countries with lower living index to rely more heavily on fossil fuels than countries with higher living index. Contributing further to the pollution. On an individual level, the global culture of the time encouraged overconsumption of resources.

Things took a turn in year 2101 when the temperature reached the point of no return. With the available technology of the time, there was simply no way for humanity to reverse the global impact anymore. All over the world, scientists scrambled to collect and preserve DNA samples from as many animals as possible. Especially those that had already been on the verge of extinction. Earlier collected samples of extinct species were safe guarded further. Additionally, the seed vault in Svalbard was further expanded and outfitted with a multitude of backup systems.

It would take a few more decades before the reality of the situation truly became apparent.

The summer of 2133 clocked record high global temperatures, causing a rapid melting on inland ice masses. Within just two months, water levels rose 60 meters. While thankfully the melting had been tracked, allowing vulnerable populations to evacuate inland, large swatches of land sank under water. All around the world, governments scrambled to secure locations and apparatuses that could create further global catastrophes. Namely, nuclear power plants, nuclear weapon storages, and storage of toxic and radioactive waste. In records preserved from the time, it is described as a global blackout. Everything humanity had grown used to, relied on, was suddenly gone.

This event had been named the Great Melt, to signify just how of an effect this had on the development of our world.

After the Big Melt, diseases started to run rampant, combined with starvation, and apocalyptic weather caused by the huge changes in global temperature. Reducing the global population down to pre-industrial levels. While some locations managed better than others, like landlocked locations and those of high altitude, all island nations had been submerged.

Ironically, it was nothing that humanity did that eventually reversed the effects of global warming. Five hundred years after the Big Melt, humans had been mostly isolated from the global scene. Knowledge of past eras surviving thanks to both oral tradition and sturdier technology. Some places, like the Scandinavian peninsula, had managed to preserve more technology than locations along the American coast. (Important to note, the reason the Scandinavian Peninsula faired fairly well despite being surrounded by water is because the landmass had been pressed down during an ancient ice age. This landmass then spent millennia slowly rising, offsetting some of the more severe effects of the Great Melt.)

What finally changed things were a series of volcanic eruptions, and the subsequent ash cover, that cooled the planet down again. After that, it was rapid. By the year 3289, the global temperature had returned to pre-industrial levels. As the ice caps formed once more, sea levels sunk, exposing land long lost, and humanity could finally start to rebuild.

It was slow at first, with big differences depending on where people lived. In some areas the living index had risen dramatically during the past millennia, while in other parts it had plummeted. Interestingly enough, a lot of culture remained intact across the globe. With some variations. One area that had flourished during this time were the African inland, alongside the Eurasian continent. It was in Africa that the true effort was made to return humanity to its long-lost glory. Soon, technology known from stories was available once more, and the disconnected world was connected once more.

However, the biggest impact on our current world came with the reinvention of the Internet. By chance or divine intervention, the network that was created was identical to the one created in the 20th century and was further developed in the 21st century. This led to the discovery of what had been named the Archive Servers.

The Archive Servers are true relics of a bygone era. Websites still existing well over a millennium into the future. Somehow, ancient servers had survived the passing of time and global catastrophes. Within them, they carried knowledge, culture, and understanding. It was thanks to the Archive Servers humanity avoided repeating the mistakes of the past. With the knowledge that fossil fuels had caused the Great Melt, scientists turned their attention to alternatives. Leading to the use of solar-, hydro-, and fusion power. Moreover, materials were chosen from sustainable sources with high reusability and low pollution.

The Archive Servers also contained the locations of other ancient servers that could be reactivated or otherwise salvaged. Furthering our knowledge and understanding of the past. At our fingertips, we had the wealth of human history dating back to the dawn of life itself. With the help of the Archive Servers we also found the seed vault on Svalbard, the DNA from long extinct animals, and nearly evolutionary medical knowledge.

Within the next two hundred years, humanity had returned to the level of living during the 21st century, and then surpassed it. The global population had in fact started to reach critical levels once more. It was at this point the universe we had once reached for, reached back down, and we learned that we were not alone in the universe. In fact, we were part of a vibrant galaxy, flanked by two equally vibrant galaxies, full of sentient life.

With the technology gifted to us by the aliens, we managed to reverse engineer and add our own flair to space travel. Leading to the terra forming of Mars, which allowed for colonisation. From 3577 to 3587 humanity went from standing at the verge of another ecological collapse to spreading across the known galaxies. Allying with the Galactic Federation, and creating colonies on rejected planets. Lowering the strain on our home world, while also setting the stage for a new era for humanity.

While we are culturally more or less identical to 21st century Earth. We are nonetheless far beyond our ancestors in terms of global cooperation, equality, and general living index. Nonetheless, if history has taught us anything it is that humanity’s greatest threat is not a global catastrophe, it is not pandemics, it is not even war. The greatest threat to humanity is complacency, and the belief that humans are above nature. By learning from the past, we can create a better tomorrow.

-

-

Anna put down the screen and leaned her head against the window. She had turned 35 recently. A decent age, for sure. She could still remember when alien life was nothing but speculative fiction, first introduced around the second millennia. History fascinated her just as much as space did. It told a story of people. About people.

Earth was by no means a utopia. In fact, many issues still remained to this day. Stuff like ableism, affecting her personally, and nations that was still refusing to cooperate with the rest of the world. Even so, she found it remarkable that humanity had fallen to its knees, and then managed to claw itself up again. And if that wasn’t the definition of being human, she didn’t know what was.

[ikajo00]

Non-alien alien human #6 Survival Instinct

Anna was straight up miserable. And very unhappy. It had all started with Captain Vance taking time off to celebrate his wedding anniversary, which meant vice-captain Vance was also celebrating his anniversary. Since they were married to each other. Prompting the IRSC to send a substitute to be acting Captain, and he was not the kind of person Anna liked. Acting Captain Lincoln was a man in his late forties, thin with steel grey hair, and an inflated opinion of himself.

He looked down on the non-human crew, treating them like animals. And he was exceedingly condescending towards Anna herself.

To make matters worse, Lincoln had insisted she would join an expedition to investigate a new planet.

“That’s not my job", Anna had insisted. “I’m here to Foster good relations with our allied in the Galactic Federation, and with the non-human crew members. It goes against my accommodations to make me go on an expedition on an unknown planet.”

The acting Captain had given her a sneer. “Look missy, I’m not going to make an exception for your little make-believe disease that they believed in over a thousand years ago", he had said. “You will join this expedition, that’s an order. And while your usual Captain may indulge your delusions, I won’t.”

Unfortunately, it wasn’t an uncommon sentiment. A lot of things had been lost in the Great Melt, and in the scramble to restore society many things had been left less prioritised. Even with the discovery of the Archive Servers, more focus had been placed on of restoring lost technology than less acute needs. As a result, humanity’s understanding of neuropsychiatric disorders were on the same level as it had been during the early 2nd millennia. Moreover, a large number of people just didn’t believe neuropsychiatric function variations was a real thing. It was illegal to discriminate someone who had a formal diagnosis, same with ignoring accommodations. Yet, it was no help hundreds of light years away from Earth, stuck with an ableist buffoon.

Either way, this was how Anna found herself drudging along behind the military personnel dressed in borrowed clothes and boots. Tired and exhausted, unused to this kind of thing. Not helped by the tropical climate. She was from Sweden! Give her snow any day and she would be fine. Humidity and high temperatures, not so much. Grumbling to herself, Anna wasn’t very surprised that acting Captain Lincoln was from the Republic of Texas. Even the Archive Servers had painted a fairly poor picture of the place.

By the time they halted to make camp, Anna was exhausted. At which point she learned that the idiot had not made the team bring any food supplies with them. Insisting that they were going to find food by foraging. Which went against ISRC guidelines in so many ways. Sure, humans could eat a lot of things and wasn’t restricted to food only from Earth. But it wasn’t exactly a good idea to blindly eat unknown fruits on a strange planet.

At least she wasn’t made to help make camp or head out to gather fruit. Instead, she was sitting on a stone wishing she was literally anywhere else. Her feet were hurting, her back was hurting. She was hungry, feeling like she was cooking, and made to feel like a burden. Despite the fact that she had been forced to come along. The non-humans who had come along, including Kaneeshaa, was also concerned about the lack of food supplies. Though Kaneeshaa was at least a hunter at her core. She could just hunt down some critter and get herself food that way.

As Anna was lamenting her situation, the gathering party returned carrying several fruits in their arms. And she balked. The shape was somewhat similar to squash, but a bright purple with large yellow dots. Since the foliage had the same green colour as plants of Earth, it felt like a clear warning that they shouldn’t eat the oddly coloured fruit. Despite her hunger, Anna felt her whole body revolt against the very idea of putting it in her mouth. It didn’t help that the colour was hurting her eyes.

One of the soldiers, Roderigues, approached her, holding a piece of the fruit. He wasn’t a bad guy. In fact, he had helped her gather the clothes she was currently borrowing. The harsh sunlight reflected of his deep brown complexion.

“You should try some”, he coaxed. “It tastes really good, like all sweet and juicy.”

“Have you seen the colour of that thing?” Anna said. The skin was bad enough, but the insides were blue! Bright blue!

“You won’t be able to do anything tomorrow if your stomach is empty”, Roderigues said gently. “You think the acting Captain would show you any compassion?”

Reluctantly, Anna took the piece of fruit. Closing her eyes, she fought against her aversion and put in her mouth. And almost immediately spit it out again.

__________________

Kaneeshaa had stayed near Anna during the whole march through this strange grassland. Like Anna, the Krull and Marg had been unwilling to eat the strange fruit. Seeing Anna spit out the piece while clamouring drew a lot of attention. The human who had given her the piece was frowning, looking displeased.

“You don’t have to overdo it”, he grumbled. “You could have just said you didn’t like it. If you had actually, you know, tried to eat it.”

“Are you nuts!” Anna growled, still spitting. “Why would I want to eat something that tastes foul? Sure, it might have seemed sweet, but surely you noticed the bitter taste underneath?”

“Not really”, the soldier shrugged.

“Well, I did!” Taking her backpack, she stuck her arm in, and after a few moments, she pulled out one of those grain sticks she always brought with her. Together with a bottle of her favourite sugary drink. Among the human soldier, most rolled their eyes at Anna’s behaviour, but a few gave the fruit another glance and decided against eating it. They joined the woman, who kindly shared her supply of grain sticks. The Krull and Marg never intended to eat the fruit in the first place.

The temporary Captain was clearly displeased, going by his scrunched-up face, but said nothing. While Anna had fairly big stock of grain sticks, Kaneeshaa and Bashka stopped her from giving away any stick to any human who had been rude to her earlier. In many ways, she was their human. A sentiment shared by all non-humans on Helios. So, while it didn’t compare to the pack bonding of humans, they were all quite protective of her. Her sharing her supply with the humans who listened to her warning was fine though, they at least was being kind.

A few hours later, it became clear that Anna’s aversion to the fruit had been more than warranted.

_____________

She hated bodily fluids. Especially the bodily fluids of others. And right now, somewhere around thirty people were all suffering from what appeared to be food poisoning. Throwing up, crapping themselves, and being all around miserable. The only ones who had been spared were those who had never eaten the fruit. If Anna hadn’t spat the piece out, she would have likely shared a similar fate herself. Which would have sucked.

At least the other soldiers, who hadn’t eaten the fruit, had taken charge to move the sick people some distance away from the camp. One of them had also called Helios for an extraction, transport would arrive in the morning. Unfortunately for Anna, she could both hear and smell the nasty stuff being expelled from the first explosions of bodily fluids.

“I thought humans could eat anything”, a Marg named Jiran said, cocking his head. “I never knew food could make you sick.”

“Common misconception”, one of the soldiers said. “Even on Earth, there are plants that will straight up kill us if we eat them.”

“Actually”, another mused and turned to Anna. “How did you know the fruit would cause food poisoning?”

“I didn’t?” she replied with a shrug. “There was just this really foul and bitter taste to it. But it kind of makes sense, from an evolutionary point of view. If you have idiots who will put literally anything in their mouth, you also need people who will refuse to eat anything they sense is off. Otherwise, the genes for NPF conditions would never have been passed on.”

The soldiers nodded to themselves. No one really slept that night, and in the morning, the whole team was extracted. Their mission postponed to later. Two things came from this experience. One, which was the one Anna herself were aware of, was that acting Captain Lincoln was fired and blacklisted for breaking ISRC guidelines and putting the expedition team in danger. Second was that from that day forth, no one gave Anna grief over her picky eating. And if she ever balked completely at eating or drinking something, everyone had learnt to follow suit and refuse as well. No matter what how nonsensical it seemed.

After all, better to miss out and remain alive, than take a risk and die because you ignored someone with superior senses.

[ikajo00]

Non-alien human alien #5 Energy Thieves

The crew of Helios had been invited to attend a party at one of the human space stations. While most of the human crew were excited, the non-human crew was mostly confused at first. After all, a party was a group of people, so why would it be exciting to attend to that group? Until someone explained it a gathering for having fun, probably with food stuff and drinking stuff.

Kaneeshaa was well aware what humans viewed as “drinking stuff", and figured it would be better to avoid. Alcohol could be quite deadly. As they approached the space station, Anna was in a foul mood. Unlike her fellow humans, she had put in minimal effort and was still protesting against the mandatory participation. The rest of the crew was dressed in colourful fabrics, and many had put paint on their faces. Some even had put paint on their nails.

(The first time some alien species saw makeup, they assumed it was war paint. It was still advised to avoid makeup when meeting new alien groups.)

Helios docked at the space station, alongside other, similar, star cruisers. Huge groups of humans flooded into the station, guided towards a specific location. Kaneeshaa was admittedly impressed. The Alpha Centauri Space Station was as large as a small moon and acted as one of the biggest hubs of human space travel in the known galaxies. It even created its own gravity by using rotation, and mimicked magnetic fields to protect against solar flares from the nearby star. Moreover, the station orbited a large, uninhabited, planet.

And now, several thousands of humans were gathering for this thing called a party.

Following the flow of people, most of the non-human crew members of Helios stuck close to Anna. Her agitation told them they were not likely to enjoy this experience. As they walked through hallways, Kaneeshaa became aware of a thumping vibration that was growing closer. Soon, she recognised the sound of music, but it was far from the beautiful tunes she was used to hearing. Instead, it was... artificial...

The corridor opened up into a huge space with platforms here and there. Down in the plaza, there were people everywhere. Jumping and squirming to the music. And the music was loud. Almost deafening. For some reason, the light was purple. Several of the non-humans covered their sensitive ears, Kaneeshaa was sure they were whimpering, but the sound disappeared beneath the overwhelming thumping of the music. If it could be called that. For once, Kaneeshaa was grateful her ears were not anywhere near as sensitive as her eyes.

Anna was among those covering her ears. She looked both pissed, and like she was in pain. Granted, humans were prone to express pain through aggression. Swivelling her head around, she seemed to be searching for something. Around them, the human crew surged towards the plaza, and the throng of people. Kaneeshaa protectively covered some of the smaller non-human crew members with her wings against the jostling. By the wall, Anna was pressing her back against it, still seeming to search for something. Once the jostling had calmed down, the woman stilled, narrowing her eyes. She then started moving, away from the plaza below. Every non-human followed her like newly hatched chicks following their parent. Along the way, beings from other crews joined, maybe sensing that this group was moving away from the chaos.

Arriving at a door, Anna punched in a code, and it opened. The room inside was still pretty big, but as it closed behind the last non-human, the music was cut off. Inside were low, soft chairs, some very wide (“Those are sofas.”), and some narrow. Flopping down on a wide chair, the human groaned.

“I hate parties", Anna muttered. “I’m going to raise a complaint to the IRSC for making participation mandatory! And so many people! I’m pretty sure that’s against safety protocols! Wait... maybe the organisers didn’t clear it with the IRSC first? Gah! I’m so going to make a stink about this!”

Kaneeshaa ruffled her feathers in amusement. Hearing her friend think out loud was always entertaining. Around the room, all the different species more or less collapsed, overwhelmed by the experience. A Laklan jumped up on the chair Anna was sprawled on, snuggling up to her.

“You okay, Anna?" It squeaked, making the human sit up and wrap her arms around the fluffball. Squeezing. The Laklan squealed in delight. Another Laklan joined the first and was also given a squeeze. This was called a hug. Most humans liked engaging in this activity, but Anna usually didn’t. Apparently, she made an exception for fluffy balls. Even though most humans were put off by the Laklan’s diet, this human clearly didn’t care. Instead, she ran her fingers through the soft fur, visibly relaxing.

“Anna, what is IRSC?” Fasha asked, lisping.

“It is the space organisation for humans", Anna replied. “It stands for Intergalactic Space Research Centre. It used to be International Space Research Centre, but that was before we humans learned we were not alone in the universe. It was easier to use an existing organisation than create a new one, since it was already the amalgamation of many different nations.”

“What is a nation?” Fasha asked.

“It is how we humans group ourselves. Over the millennia, nations have come and gone. Calling themselves different things, having different sizes, and often different cultures and even different languages.” Anna’s voice was calm and patient. She was smiling. “For example, I’m from a nation called Sweden. It has existed for a very long time, and in my language, it is called Sverige. Captain Vance, on the other hand, is from a nation called California. Unlike Sweden, California used to be part of a much, much bigger nation.”

“Okay. Why are all other humans out there?”

“They are having a party. Or, that’s what they call it. Most of the crews sent out in space are extroverts who loves being around people. People like me, who are both introverted and NPF, are rarely sent out into space. Oh, extroverted means they gain energy by being around other people, and introverted means I lose energy by being around other people. Most of the time. I’ve found that non-humans don’t steal my energy.”

Several heads were turned towards Anna when they heard the phrase “Steal my energy”. Kaneeshaa’s included. The idea that humans could steal energy from a living being was terrifying. Especially from one of their own. Humans were scary. And weird.

Growing bored, Anna reached into the backpack she always wore when off the ship. It contained food items she considered safe, alongside drinking stuff she felt was safe. This time, she pulled out her screen, placed it on a low table, and activated the glowing buttons called a keyboard. She then began tapping at the keyboard in a rhythmic pattern. Sneaking a glance over the human’s shoulder, Kaneeshaa spotted the name of one character she was especially fond of.

“Is this another story about the Forun Empire?” she asked, clacking her beak excitedly. Anna shot her a look of annoyance at the clacking.

“Yes", she said. “My publisher said there is a lot of demand and asked that I create a series.”

“Forun Empire?” one of the Krull from a different star cruiser piped up. “You mean the one written by Astrom?”

“Actually, it is A. Storm...” Anna began but was interrupted by her crew mates. In uncharacteristic excitement, all non-human members of Helios made certain to tell the awed creatures that they were friends with the most popular and most influential storyteller in all the known galaxies. The human tried to interject when they kept calling her Astrom. Finally, she sighed.

“I guess I have a pen name now...” she murmured.

[ikajo00]

Non-alien human alien #4 Executive Dysfunction

The door to Anna’s quarters whispered as it opened and Lena stepped inside followed by Fasha, a Laklan. As was fairly normal, Anna’s room was messy. Clothes strewn about, trash just outside the trashcan, and things in the wrong place. This was nothing unusual. Lena turned to Fasha.

“Okay, you know the drill", she said. “Anything around the floor of and in the trashcan is fair game. Anything else, ask me first.”

“Okay!” chirped Fasha. The Laklan was a small species with almost childlike demeanour in the eyes of humans. Looking like furballs with no arms and stubby legs, one large eyeball, and a large tactile tongue. There was barely any ship in the Intergalactic Federation who didn’t have at least one Laklan on-board. Helios had three. By all rights, the humans should have loved the little creatures, and many did indeed think they were cute. If it wasn’t for one thing. The Laklan could eat just about everything and was known by a different name.

Trash eaters.

Fasha happily ran up to the trashcan, scooping up discarded tissues with their tongue and ate it. Before diving into the trashcan itself, munching its content. Lena sighed and pulled the Laklan out, her hands sinking into the soft fur. Truly, if they were not in the habit of eating just about everything except metals, the humans would have struggled to not keep Laklan as pets. Not helped by the fact that the Laklan loved humans, a lot, and probably wouldn’t have minded being pets. They even reproduced via osmosis.

“I love Anna!” Fasha said as Lena set them down on their feet.

“You and every other alien", the human said fondly.

“But why are we cleaning her room? And not anyone else’s?”

“It is one of the accommodations made for her.”

“A com ations. A com ations!” Fasha jumped around the room, eating the things Lena threw at them. “Why does Anna have a com ations?”

“Accommodations. Because she struggles with something called executive dysfunction. It means she struggle with connecting thinking about an action and performing an action. Take this room. It is not that Anna wants to be messy, but she forgets to pick things up, and to clean after herself.”

“Poor Anna! But I love her! She pets me and says thank you!”

Lena smiled, on a star cruiser where every crew member had a specific job to do, taking on someone like Anna was certainly a risk. Yet, the woman meshed exceedingly well with non-humans and unknowingly acted as the glue between humans and aliens on-board. Her own job as Anna’s assistant was fairly easy, consisting mostly of keeping an eye on the other’s schedule and cleaning her quarters. As the cherry on top, Lena got to see space, and visit other planets. Truly, the best life.

_____________

The star cruiser Helios ran on a light cycle mimicking Earth, and by that standard, it was fairly late. Anna liked this time of day. It was quiet, even the engines were slowed to reduce noise, and she appreciated that. Sauntering through the corridors she happened upon the observation deck and saw Captain Jonathan Vance sitting against the wall, snuggling with Vice-Captain Mark Vance.

Anna could understand the logic of having the two spouses work on the same ship. Though she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea for the Captain and Vice-Captain to be married. If they had been co-Captains, that would have made more sense. As it was, the two tended to take time off at the same time, and if something ever happened to either of them, Anna was pretty sure the other would be too devastated to do his job.

Still, not her job. So, she wasn’t going to worry about it. Glancing again, Anna saw the husbands share a kiss, and she smiled. Love had been a pretty distant thing to her personally, but she was the kind who enjoyed seeing others be loving. Oh, and she loved writing stories that had love as an element. Not that Anna had ever thought her books would be read mostly by non-human species.

Leaving the two to their date, she headed to the cafeteria, wanting a late-night snack. At this late hour, it was staffed by a Marg, a species that had leathery skin and no hair, tall and towering. On their home world, Marg didn’t wear clothes, nor did most creatures in the galaxies, but on Helios, all Marg crew members did at least wear trousers. Due to the males having a very big you-know-what, and the females followed suit. Mammals didn’t exist outside of Earth, but carrying live young wasn’t even an exclusively mammalian trait on Earth.

“Hi Grosh", Anna greeted. “My usual.”

Grosh nodded and as soon as she had paid, he set about making the food. It was nothing complicated, a simple ham and cheese sandwich with a cup of hot chocolate. Some non-humans refused to touch animal products, but Grosh wasn’t one of them. Taking her tray, she sat down at a table. This late, she didn’t bother with the separate dining space, since there were few beings around anyway.

Chewing on her sandwich and sipping on her hot chocolate, Anna had a nagging feeling there had been something she was supposed to have done. Thinking through the events of the day, she realised she had forgotten to send in a report. Oops. And it was due next morning. Oh well, nothing for it. She took out the screen and activated the holographic keyboard, typing away. It might have been better to write in her room, but then she risked forgetting about it again. Sometimes, having her job being the place she lived was making things difficult. At the same time, the accommodations she got helped immensely. Humming to herself, she typed out her report. Forgetting her food.

[ikajo00]

Non-alien human alien #3 Carrion Eating

Kaneeshaa had joined Captain Vance and Anna for the video conference with the representative from Fshoom, Kaneeshaa’s homeworld. The one of the other side of the call was a Corvid (Subspecies, Crow), as they tended have important positions due to their high intelligence. The representative was named Scrars, but most beings had a hard time pronouncing it, so he shortened it to Ars.

Anna was fiddling with a ball of fibre called yarn and a small metal stick with a hook while she listened. Kaneeshaa was aware that most humans found her apparent inattentiveness rude, but most beings found the attention of humans unnerving. Thus, preferring someone like Anna, who could listen better when not giving her full attention to the speaker.

It wasn’t that Anna was lacking in intelligence, or that Captain Vance did so. Anna was fluent in three Earth languages, two intergalactic languages, and could read Shrieeshka runes. Captain Vance on the other hand was both an excellent pilot, navigator, and engineer. Making both of them quite extraordinary, even among humans. But they were also opposites in many ways. One free spirited and impulsive, the other disciplined and organised. Despite that, the two were actually good friends. Humans were weird.

“And that conclude my report", Ars croaked. “If you could send the aid, we would very much appreciate it.”

Captain Vance opened his mouth to answer, but Anna either didn’t notice, or ignored it. Answering instead.

“Try contacting the Krull", she said. “Just yesterday, they informed us that they have too much of that metal stuff you mentioned, while they have to little of that stone stuff.”

“The Krull has too much chromatic metal, but too little solidified sulphur", Captain Vance clarified, sounding more amused than offended. “That’s not actually a bad idea. Instead of us acting as an intermediary, your planets could start a trade on your own.”

Ars seemed to think this over, clacking his beak. Anna squeezed her eyes shut, she did that sometimes when she heard noises she didn’t like. How it was supposed to help, Kaneeshaa had no idea.

“Yes, this is an acceptable solution. Thank you, Captain Vance. Miss Storm", Ars said. There were a few pleasantries, from the Captain only, and the conference ended. Kaneeshaa hadn’t been aware her home lacked sulphur, but this trade would be helpful for sure.

“You look like you could use a break", Captain Vance said to Anna. “Next two calls are from the ISRC and the NAUIN. Which means I can handle it on my own.”

“You won’t eat lunch?” Anna said, tilting her head.

“I can eat during those calls, I will be fine. Here, a coupon for cake in the cafeteria.” Captain Vance handed Anna a piece of paper, making Anna light up.

Kaneeshaa followed the short, round human to the cafeteria. Helios provided basic meals for free, but anything extra cost credits. And humans could be surprisingly stingy and yet buy things on impulse other times. The humans on board would occasionally buy food and drinks that were straight up unhealthy for them. Because they liked it.

While walking, Anna hummed, her blonde hair swaying. Humans singing was something else Kaneeshaa loved, in addition to books. Her own people could produce song, some of them, but not in such variety and complexity as a human could. In fact, humans had the most melodic languages in the Federation, and that was just normal speech. Singing was even more special.

They arrived at the cafeteria, getting their food. Kaneeshaa got a very rare steak (she wasn’t sure how it could be rare when she ate it almost every day, but it was the least cooked meat on the menu), while her human companion got some white, cooked meat, yellow sticks, a yellowish goo, and a colourful grain mix with a wet substance between layers. Taking their trays, they entered the separate dining area, sat down, and started eating. Glancing at the human’s plate, Kaneeshaa could stop herself from asking. “Are you sure that a carnivore such as your self should eat so little meat?”

Anna paused with her fork lifted to her mouth. “Carnivore? Humans are not carnivores. If anything, we are omnivorous carrion eaters.”

“Omni carry what now?”

“Omni, all. Vore, eat. Carrion, dead creature.”

“Humans can eat anything?”

“Well, no. There are stuff we can’t eat, it would either make us sick or kill us.”

“I see. But I don’t see how it would be odd to not eat your prey live...”

Anna bit the white meat, chewing slowly. “When you eat, do you prefer something freshly killer, or something that has been dead for a while?”

“Fresh, of course", Kaneeshaa said, looking down at her plate. There were plenty of prey animals on her home planet. Once upon a time, her people had preyed on other types of Shrieeshka, but that was a very long time ago. But she was still a predator.

“Aha. But humans don’t eat fresh meat. The blood is drained, the body dismembered, and often cooked days after the kill. There are Corvids among your people, they might be similar”, Anna said.

That made sense, in a way, but Kaneeshaa was a little surprised. Humans were known predators, and very dangerous ones. “I thought humans hunted their food.”

“As a main food source? Not for several tens of thousands of years. Farming and domestication took over. People did hunt as a sport a thousand years back, or so. But you can’t do that anymore.”

“So, you are not predators?” Kaneeshaa was feeling very confused. Anna had finished her main food and started on the grain mix. She pursed her lips.

“We don’t see ourselves that way but... I guess you could say we are technically predatory carrion eaters? We could hunt down something to eat and then process it before actually eating. Like draining the animal of blood, and then cooking it.” Predatory carrion eaters? That sounded way scarier than just a predator. Anna continued. “I think it would be accurate to say humans have learned to redirect that predatory impulse into personal and collective pursuits. And the human body is pretty remarkable. Take me, my brain doesn’t work the same way other humans’ brains do. From an evolutionary standpoint, I would have been useful in humanity’s infancy, but in a modern society, it is more of a hindrance.”

“There is something wrong with your brain?” Kaneeshaa blinked slowly, feeling the confusion.

“Haven’t I told you before? I’m NPF. Neurodivergent? Autism, inattentive ADHD?” Anna said words, but they made no sense to Kaneeshaa. More than anything, Anna felt more normal to the Shrieeshkan than most humans did. She said as much to the human. Who gave her a wide-eyed look. “I’m a non-alien human alien?” she asked, incredulous. She had apparently been unaware of this.

[ikajo00]

Non-alien human alien #2 History

The discovery of humans

From the records in the archives of the Intergalactic Federation. Written and submitted by A. Storm.

Once upon a time, many, many solar cycles ago, the people of Earth, aka humans, sent out a device called the Voyager to explore their own heliosphere. The Voyager travelled through the solar system and then passed the limit into the bigger galaxy of the Milky Way. By this point, the device had been travelling for nearly half a century, or fifty solar cycles. Not long there after, the planet of Earth lost all contact with this device. While it wasn’t forgotten, it wasn’t treated as a big thing either. Humans at this point stood in front of a more immediate problem of trying to salvage the heating of the planet, caused by their own actions.

And then, a millennium and half went by. Humans survived, because that’s what they do, and eventually managed to amend most the damage they themselves had caused. Cleaner technology was developed, and extinct species was successfully brought back using advanced cloning technology. Which can’t be applied to humans, nor is it desired. Space exploration had been put on hold in favour of improving and saving their home world.

It was at this point the Voyager was discovered by a transport ship belonging to the Federation. Leaving junk in space is, as many are aware, illegal according to intergalactic law. Prompting the ship to retrieve the device and inspect it to see which planet had manufactured it (to issue a fine). It was then they made the discovery that would shake the Intergalactic Federation to its core. Because the device contained a disk made from a yellow metal humans call gold. Proving that not only did Earth have life, but it was also sentient. Running opposite to the established consensus that the terra planet in the fifth yellow system (Earth) had too extreme weather to sustain life. And even if it could sustain smaller lifeforms, it would be unable to form sentience.

A delegation from the Intergalactic Federation was sent to the coordinates recorded in the device. Using the information retrieved from the disk, a tool for translation and communication was established. Though some of these would later turn out to be aimed towards the animal sounds recorded, not the human voices.

Arriving near Earth, the delegation sent a message to the beings on the planet. Humans were naturally quite surprised that they had suddenly gotten alien visitors. (*Author's note. Humans use alien to describe any sentient species not originating from Earth. Moreover, humans tend to use aliens more broadly to describe anything deemed strange and not of human origin.) After some negotiation, the delegation was allowed to land in the country known as California, part of the North American Union of Independent Nations, NAUIN for short.

The delegation had believed that since humans could life and thrive on Earth, the planet was probably not as bad as estimates had suggested. They were wrong, because the planet was much, much worse than they had expected. No sooner had they landed before they were bombarded with immense heat (most galactic populations tend to prefer temperatures between 15-25°C, with some exceptions), and had to relocate to a structure with artificial weather. If that would have been all, maybe Earth wouldn’t have gained its status as a death world, but the delegation soon learned that different regions of the planet had different weathers and climates. While some were mild, most were not. Heavy winds, heavy rains, locations where it is exceedingly cold, locations where it is exceedingly hot. Places where the number of solar hours are not consistent throughout the solar cycle. On top of that, there were extreme weathers, called monsoons, tornadoes, hurricanes, and electric storms.

Moreover, Earth has active tectonic movements, as its tectonic plates are not fused. And these tectonic plates float on top of molten rock. Meaning there are volcanic activity, and earthquakes. Continental shifts that, over millions of years, move the planets continents around.

We can’t forget the most distinct feature of Earth. Water. While most life forms require liquid in order to survive, humans are made of around 80% of water. And their home world consists of mostly water. Undrinkable, salty water. Filled with plants and living things (more on aquatic life on Earth in Planet of Oceans: Earth), it surrounds all the continents on the planet. Most beings in the known galaxies can’t come in contact with saline water, as it would corrode their exoskeleton, cause chemical burn, or even melt some more gelatinous lifeforms.

Does saltwater impact humans? While they can’t drink it without treatment first, humans will actively seek out these large bodies of water. Travel on it, play in it, and explore it with an interest only matched by their interest in space.

Then, there were the other creatures living on Earth. Most of which are straight up deadly. Even the more peaceful creatures can be deadly. Size isn’t always a factor either. One of the deadliest creatures on Earth is a tiny, flying insect called a mosquito that sucks blood. The creatures themselves can’t kill, but they tend to be carriers of parasites and diseases.

The diversity of creatures capable of killing was truly astonishing. And the humans were quite quickly included in this category. Because the delegation quickly found out that while humans has invented many weapons to make killing easier, they can kill with their bare hands. Or simply make a weapon out of anything. This is not an exaggeration.

It should be noted that the Intergalactic Federation has classified humans as extremely dangerous, and humans has been designated as a special S-class predatory species. Especially when working as a group. The social structures of humans allow them to divide work to the individuals most suited for each task while the collective benefit. In fact, the humans managed to reverse engineer the technology they received from the delegation and then extrapolated from that. Allowing humanity to achieve space travel of their own in record speed of only two years. Two years after they successfully terraformed a planet within their solar system (Mars), Earth joined the Intergalactic Federation. This was ten years ago. (See Record of the Earth – Space Summit, and The Human Wonder.)

While it isn’t forbidden to visit Earth and its colonies, it is not recommended, as they all tend to be deathworlds. Humans have chosen planets otherwise deemed inhabitable as their colonies. Simply because they resemble their home planet. Meaning they are actively choosing to live on other deathworlds as well. When interacting with humans, it is recommended to first try and pack bond with humans, as humans will pack bond with literally anything. And once pack bonded, the human(s) in question will do everything to keep you safe. But break any human taboos (see Forbidden Human Practices), and you will learn intimately why humans are considered a predatory species by the standards of the Intergalactic Federation.

-

-

Captain Jonathan Vance looked up from the screen and gave Anna a Look. He wasn’t sure if he should laugh, cry, or just sigh. Having Anna on Helios had done wonders for the relationship between human and alien crew members. She was also invaluable when dealing with different representatives of alien species. But there was no denying she very much did things her own way and could be rather strange on occasion. Lovable, but strange.

“Why have you written this as if you are an alien?” Captain Vance asked her. Anna shrugged.

“It was fun”, she replied.

“Fun?”

“Yep.”

“Uh... these are some pretty extreme descriptions of both Earth and humans. Don’t you think you are overdoing it a bit? This is supposed to be an official document, right?”

Anna chuckled and got that little smug smile she had when she knew something you didn’t. “I’m actually downplaying things. This is how humans look like to aliens.”

“What? Like Earth is the space equivalent of Australia? What are humans then? The space equivalent of goblins?” Vance gave her an incredulous look.

“Nah, apparently, they think we are more like orcs. Space orcs.”

“Because we send mostly military personnel into space?”

“Nope. Because humans are considered very, very, very hard to kill.”

Anna stood and took back the screen, deactivating it. Vance watched her leave. Space orcs? Actually, that explained quite a lot.

[ikajo00]

Non-alien human alien #1 Astrom

Kaneeshaa closed the book with a soft thud, running her feathered hand over the embossed letter, looking at the human on the other side of the table. Humans were a relatively new addition to the Intergalactic Federation; they had been an unknown species discovered around a decade ago. While humans compared to most inhabitants in the known galaxies were fairly primitive, they had still brought with them many new things. One of those had been the concept of books. Sure, teller of stories had existed in most civilizations, but those tended to rely on oral tradition. And usually limited to historical events.

The idea of making a record of a story, to be enjoyed at one’s leisure, had been revolutionary. Not to mention the idea of crafting a story out of nothing, based on thoughts, was remarkable. Moreover, humans had many ways of enjoying these stories. Printed, pre-recorded tellings, and digital printing were all options. Kaneeshaa belonged to the Shrieeshka, and as they were a feathered species, they had a hard time using digital screens.

(The Shrieeshka is a people from the windy planet Fshoom – the sound wind makes – and could be described as vaguely humanoid birds. They do have wings, and hands at the end of those wings, but during evolution, they had grown too large to fly. Though some could glide down, in the right conditions. Humans had taken to call the Shrieeshka Bird People, and since most beings in the Galactic Federation couldn’t pronounce Shrieeshka, using Bird People had actually been helpful. The humans also used the resemblance of birds on their home world to classify the different types of Bird People*)

((*The Shrieeshka had found this system so useful that they had adopted it themselves. Including the use of subcategories to further differentiate the many types of Shrieeshka. Kaneeshaa is classified as a Hawk.))

Kaneeshaa loved reading. Immersing herself in stories about other people, from many different parts of the universe, living lives widely different from her own. And her favourite creator of books was someone named Astrom. Kaneeshaa had been very surprised when she discovered the book creator was actually human. She had been even more surprised to discover that the book creator was one of her crew mates.

Anna Storm, pronounce Aanna Stôrm. Born on Earth, in a location called Sverige. Or Sweden, as most of the crew called it.

Anna was… different… from most of the other humans Kaneeshaa had met. For one thing, she was older than the majority of the human crew with about a Earthly decade. She was also rounder (”You could just call me chubby" – Anna), and shorter than most of the other humans. Apparently, this was because Anna wasn’t military personnel. Nor did she display many of the more commonly recognised human behaviours. Things like eating absolutely anything, at least once. Being overly touchy and affectionate. Enjoying loud noises and being around many other humans.

No, Anna was in many ways a non-alien human alien. Which was apparently exactly why Anna was on the star cruiser Helios in the first place. She served as both a sort of limit test for what alien races found tolerable, and as the cruiser’s diplomatic contact. With her being more quiet, more sensitive to stimulus, and less likely to enjoy being randomly touched. It was no wonder Anna was the favourite human among the non-human crew members. She was basically one of them, more than she was human.

Not that Anna wasn’t human. She shared her kind’s wider spectrum of traits. Like pack bonding to everything, being very durable (Anna walked into things, a lot, and got only the occasional bruise), and the need for stimulation. Additionally, her Sweden experienced, over the course of an Earthly solar year, a shift in temperature that could range between 30°C and -20°C. (The Intergalactic Federation had adopted the Metric system very early on. Something Anna found very funny for some reason. Something about a human location called America still using a different system.) On top of that, this Sweden had different amounts of solar hours depending on where in the solar cycle Earth is. Going from constant or nearly constant darkness, to constant or near constant light.

Anna had also displayed some very aggressive behaviour on occasion, much like her fellow humans. But when it came to the social behaviours most non-humans had come to expect, Anna was surprisingly inept at interacting with other humans. While being way better at handling the social interactions of a wide variety of sentient beings.

Kaneeshaa slid over the book to Anna, who had been fiddling with her tiny rectangle for a while. Anna didn’t look up but passed the book to the Krull, Bashka, who took it eagerly. The book had most likely been intended as a gift, but the Shrieeshka didn’t do gifting outside of mating rituals. Were some humans tended to be offended by this, Anna had just shrugged and kept using a lending system instead.

They were in Helios cafeteria, the part designated for the non-human crew which were a separate room. Usually, the human crew was encouraged to keep out of it, to give the alien crew mates a break from the humans. Anna was the exception. In the highly militaristic structure of human space travel, being the exception was more or less synonymous with being Anna.

”Do you have another?” Kaneeshaa asked in a low rumble. Anna looked up, her blue eyes holding Kaneeshaa’s for a long moment before wandering away to look at something else.

”I can send a order to the printing room", Anna said. ”Should be ready to pick up in like, fifteen minutes.”

Of course, the ship ran on Earth time when in the vacuum of space, but as a measure of time, it wasn’t shabby. (With adjustments to fit their own solar years and solar hours, this was also something the members of the Intergalactic Federation had adopted. A uniform way of measuring time was very useful, after all. Along the way, the Federation had also adopted the human numerical system, and some argued that the lettering system used by many humans should also be adopted for intergalactic use.) The human looked down on her rectangle and sighed, making Kaneeshaa feel bad. Unlike most other humans Kaneeshaa had met, Anna was able to stay focused on one thing for hours upon hours. Unless you broke her concentration, because then she tended to become distracted and unable to return to her prior task. Flopping down on the chair, which was made originally for the larger Orgata, Anna started to shift around restlessly, making noises. Seemingly uninterested in beginning a new task, but still unable to do nothing. How very human of her.

The door to the room slid open, letting another human inside. This was Lena, Anna’s assistant. Taller than her charge, and with the expected human social behaviour, Lena was somehow in charge of Anna on Helios, while also being Anna’s subordinate. Humans are weird.

”Anna", Lena said. ”It is time for the video conference with the representative from Krull. Do you remember?”

”Yeah, they like train models", Anna said and more or less rolled off the chair and to her feet (an action that few non-humans would have made so nonchalantly). ”Was this in my calender?”

”Yes, I told you last week.”

”I thought you were talking about the Shrieeshka.”

”The Bird People are tomorrow. Also, the Krull representative name is…” The conversation was cut off as the two humans left the room, the door closing behind them.

”I think Anna forgot to send the printing order”, Bashka said, wiggling his furry toes. Krulls had no necks and were very small, but they made for great engineers.

”It is okay", Kaneeshaa said. ”I distracted her, and she probably forgot I said it.”

”I like her", Bashka said. ”She gave me these pigment sticks in a box on my hatching day and a bunch of paper. But she is a bit unusual, for a human. I mean, there are some who are kind of similar among the human crew, but they are more… er… energetic?”

Kaneeshaa nodded, clacking her beak. ”Yes, Anna explained she is something called NPF”, she said.

”What’s that?” Bashka said, tilting his body to the side questioningly.

”I have no idea", Kaneeshaa admitted.