tiktok: christinajulian_91
audio credit: anthony vincent
That was not the audio I was expecting
Cosimo Galluzzi

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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taylor price
One Nice Bug Per Day

tannertan36
🪼
cherry valley forever
YOU ARE THE REASON
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Keni

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Xuebing Du

blake kathryn

if i look back, i am lost

pixel skylines
Mike Driver
ojovivo
KIROKAZE
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@iliveinaconstantstateoffire
tiktok: christinajulian_91
audio credit: anthony vincent
That was not the audio I was expecting
please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever
"a viscous murder" yeah i don't want to know what that could look like
it looks like the Boston Molassacre of 1919
#and vice versa btw#i don’t know what a vicious fluid would be like#and i don’t want to find out
it looks like the Boston Molassacre of 1919
Official Post of Massachusetts
*sometime before the American Revolution, after getting into another hot debate over independence*
PA: You know what? I am absolutely finished with this discussion - Done! Go to hell. No, in fact, worse still - go to VA!
VA, literally just there with Jefferson to scope out the other colonies: what did I do?
This is the funniest thing I have ever seen
(via)
Why mentos???
Because it's the Fresh Maker
This truly was made for people old enough to remember these references
There are many benefits to being a bird keeper at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute.
How many of spouses must be present at wedding for marriage to be valid.
@ mutuals we have all just gotten legally married in montana
everytime I hear about children of the corn I think about the guy I met at comic con who actually lived in the town they filmed that movie at, and on the farm where they filmed in the corn. he was a teenager at the time and him and his friends would get drunk on moonshine and rustle the corn and let the air out of the tires of the production team’s trailers and shit. and now there’s Wikipedia pages about how the children of the corn set was haunted and they thought they angered god but it was really just drunk hillbillies
I don’t like adding to posts but I also have a funny story like this, so I was watching the movie the Blair witch which takes place in burkettsville maryland, which to me is so funny because that is were my grandfather lives and the town is literally just old people and cows with their main street consisting of a post office. Well anyway he told me that after it came out people were coming in like bus loads to the town to find the witch and my grandfather lives up in the Mountain area and people were up in his property trying to find the witch and it made him angry so he went out and hung up stick people and stacked rocks and it freaked the people out so they started thinking something was out there when really it was my 80 year old Italian grandpa who wanted people out of his woods.
We had ghost hunters come to a historic house in my town to film and if you think every high school kid in town respectfully stayed at home that night instead of going to fuck up that filming you’re dead wrong.
this is comforting, actually, sometimes paranormal things are just a bunch of bored people dicking around in the woods.
New favorite cryptid: locals
i have been the origin of at least three different cryptid sightings and one in reverse as i was in the woods and three guys showed up with guns and rope asking me ‘are you dennis’ in a hostile and accusing manner and now im wondering what the fuck dennis did
Reddit’s nursing forum makes for some pretty grim reading.
New Yorkers after you make eye contact with us more than twice
This is literally the only good comment on this post
Couldn’t stay awake any longer.
Me after a shift that’s more than 2 hours
Can someone please tell me what it means when an owl LITERALLY fucking swims towards you and then stares you down??
Like look at it?? Literally flew past me and my my friend, it was so close that the wings touched our faces.
It’s reminding you to do your Duolingo practice
The real answer is that it really wants you to go away
That’s a fledgling great horned owl, they’re known for being generally ballsy and aggressive, and owls have been known to both climb trees and swim through still water in a pinch
Most likely full scenario: the bird was practicing flying, but it fell because it’s still a kid and they do that. It probably fell in/by the water. It then was like Oh Damn Oh Jesus and decided it was not in fact a duck and headed to shore, saw you, and was utterly offended but confused on what to do. So it decided to Square Up and face you like the hellbeast it is.
The pose it’s taking in the pic is one I affectionately call Full Orb. A fully orbed owl is 100% READY to FIGHT 1v1 no items final destination. You were probably its first up close encounter with a human, and since birds tend to associate larger animals with predators, it tried to make itself look as big as possible to make sure you know what’s up. It was staring you down because it was waiting to see you make the first move in the dual or flee in fear from its superior owl might.
This reply made this post 101x better
me: oh hello little owl
owl: i will fuck you up
Never forget that an owl is mostly feathers and air.
This one needs to go right next to the Baltimore accent with the Aaron earns an iron urn.
In case anyone hasn't seen it
“This is Willo. She likes to awoo while she eats. Tonight’s meal was worthy of a gentler, but perhaps more meaningful, second awoo. 13/10″ (🔊)
(Source)
scientists in the 1990s, putting a Get More Purple gene attached to a harmless plant virus into an already purple petunia: please get more purple
the petunia, sensing an apparent honest to god Get More Purple Disease, using the previously undiscovered RNAi antiviral ability to shut down all other purple genes along with it just in case: you put VIRUS in petunia? you infect her with the More Purple?? oh! oh! her children shall bloom white! jail for mother, jail for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!