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Band in NY

I just wanna move already.

takemeawayxvx

i never go on here ever.

takemeawayxvx

I haven’t been on here in forever

ill-litshipsinthesunset

Dat Blood Doe

AFI just put out their fourth best album. Obvz nothing will top their first three, but I really thought Crash Love was as good as this line-up would get. Can’t believe they topped it.

ill-litshipsinthesunset

This was def in the moment. Blood is fifth and not better than Crash Love.

Been a Hell of a Year

Yo, I haven’t updated this in over a year? Wild.

The Blood Tour continued to rule — NJ date in particular.

28 was easily the best age.

I had to cut out half of the friends I had out here — don’t fuck your friends.

I quit my job of 4 years (minus a six month break).

Worked the job after that for about a month, then quit cuz I was getting sick of getting hit with surprise 11-15 hour shifts.

I reached a point in my life this year where I stopped telling people where I work cuz weirdos can’t be knowin’ that.

I think I ruined a marriage?

After that I banged some other girl who has a boyfriend. It was only once, and it happened under the weirdest of circumstances. She’s wanted it to continue, but I ain’t tryna mess with taken girls anymore. She’s down for a threesome, though, so if I find another girl who’s willing, I’ll probably relapse for one evening.

Single girls got no time for me, but taken girls stay tryna get at me.

I tried Tinder for 7 months and that shit was fuckin’ weird. I could write a post that would be way too fucking long on that alone. Instead, I’ll just say that I spent $438.16 on it over 7 months.

Back in November I gave myself a deadline of 7/1/18 to play a show with the condition that I move should I not make it happen. We are about two weeks out and it hasn’t happened.

I fell hard for a girl last summer — as hard as you can without having ever ending up meeting. We just Skyped for, like, three months (some days for as many as 11 hours straight), and then, when we were weeks away from meeting, my inherent need to be honest ruined EVERYTHING. We haven’t spoken since and I legitimately felt destroyed for the first time in my life, and I am definitely not entirely over it. It’s fucking bizarre.

I know I seemed fucked up after Caitlin broke up with me, but that was more being distressed about the situation I found myself in than the “loss” of her. I never thought I’d open up to as many people about that whole thing, but I have and people get why I was the way I was about it. I’m sure she’ll continue to leave dudes in the situation she left me in.l — be they aware of it or not.

I stopped talking to a fucking BEAUTIFUL, seemingly cool normie there was mutual interest with because I saw on her IG story that she went to Emo Nite.

I had a Snapchat for a few days cuz of one girl. I have since deleted the app and the girl.

Went to a show without earplugs (TSOL/Guttermouth) in Vegas and left wondering how anyone willingly goes to shows WITHOUT them.

Sick of It All finally came to Denver. It was neat to hang out with them for two days. They are still the best live band in case you were wondering. Drove to Vegas to see’m six days later cuz I just love’m that much.

I’ve been to all 5 Misfits reunion shows. I planned to stop at 5, but heard something about a 6th that I simply would not be able to turn down.

Finally got a Nerve Agents tattoo.

WWE fuckin’ suuucks right now.

I don’t fuck with subculture girls anymore. One keeps tryna get at me and I could see myself relenting, but I do not plan to at the moment. I’d hang out with her, but I don’t know that I could trust her to not try anything funny.

I finally-er got my All Hallow’s cat with the carrot tattoo.

I bought almost 30 2017 releases last year.

I have purchased 0 2018 releases so far.

The new AN was a major let down and I haven’t heard anything else yet.

I don’t think I’ve gotten a single CD this year, actually. Weird.

Oh! I was in a store in Vegas while it was robbed on New Year’s Eve! Ended up missing Good Riddance’s set cuz of it.

With friends like these...

Blood III-VI: What New Friends Will the Day Bring?

Wish I felt like going more in depth into these shows, but I don't. NYC: "Triple Zero" is always fun to see. Hung with Jenna and Liz for the first time in 9 years. Went to some bar that had dope vegan empanadas. Boston: Went to a sold out show with no tickets, thinking we'd be able to buy some off someone. No one was selling. Failed Craigslist attempt. Checked StubHub too late. *Someone* was gonna try to sneak us in with tour laminates, but the universe provided a way for Jenna and I to get in. Thanks in part to my apparent sociopathic ways. Hardly anyone knew Now the World." It was cool to see'm in such a tiny club the night after they sold out Terminal 5. Philly: Best set list. "He Who Laughs Last..." was definitely the highlight. Headcrawled and sang with Smith. Vegas: Weakest show of the tour. Vegas itself was dope though. Met a dude who is pretty much me if I was born 6 years earlier. Talked so much about old AFI, Heckle, Screw 32, Jughead's Revenge, The Nerve Agents, Matt Wedgley's bands, and so much more. It was unreal to finally speak with someone who knew so much about those bands and he felt the same way. Met him through his wife cuz she and I made plans to hang out through the gram. She found the nerdery amusing. I was gonna stay with them for the weekend of The Vandals/Screw 32 show, but an AFI tour announcement has now kept me from seeing Screw 32 for a second time. Met a bunch of other people I knew through the gram or simply knew of, and they were all lovely. My ex had real bad anxiety, so me being as social with people as I can be in certain situations wasn't an ever option. It was nice to actually meet and hang out with people again. Tried Mexican food for the first time before the show, then for the second time after. Explored til 4 AM, then went to sleep. Got vegan doughnuts with 5 new friends then went to the airport and went on about my normal life. AFI just announced some June shows and it looks like I will be hitting 3 of 'em. Stoked to see old friends, recently made friends, and probably make new ones with the way this tour has gone. I called 28 being the best age yet and I was right.

Saw Suicidal Tendencies last night.

Blood I & II

Waiting to board my flight to NY, so I guess I'll post about the first two AFI shows. Got to the airport three hours early on Friday because I got my flights mixed up and thought we were leaving Denver at 9 when it was actually 11. Found out DIA has a ton of vegan options cuz of my early arrival, so that was dope. Had an awesome salad with some chips and kombucha. Kelli got there about an hour after me and we just nerded out about AFI til we landed. We charged our phones and waited in the SLC airport until almost 1. Went to this vegan spot called The Vertical for lunch and ordered an Ian MacKaye solely cuz of its name. It was a California burger with mac and cheese on it. Would not have ordered it otherwise, but it was actually pretty good. Hoped there was some secret discount if you said MacKaye correctly when you ordered, but that was not the case. Not only was that not the case, but the waiter said it wrong. Her friend and her friend's boyfriend met us there and it was odd, as I had nothing to say, as usual. Except when AFI or basketball came up, of course. Kelli didn't know what her friend's favorite AFI album was, and I guessed STS cuz she had some blonde strips in her jet black hair. I was right. Headed to the venue at around 3, and our driver had not only heard of AFI, but saw them in '97 with The Offspring. I asked if he saw L7 as well, and he said yeah. I went on about how Strung Out did some shows on that, how that was the time to see AFI, and especially The Offspring since Ixnay had just come out, and he was a little surprised/weirded out that I was just spittin' all these facts about a tour he saw 20 years ago. SLC was way too fucking cold. So cold that we ended up waiting in a Barnes and Noble til 6:30. On our way into BAN, I stopped and pointed out that they were soundchecking "This Time Imperfect." We listened, then went in. I came and went over the next hour trying to hear other songs, but they just kept trying to figure out "Clove Smoke Catharsis," it seemed. Went to the line at 6:30 and weren't much farther back in line from where we would have been had we stayed in it at 3. They checked our IDs and the bouncers machine would not scan mine. It kept making some terrible noise and he stared at it for a bit. He quickly asked me my birthday, I answered and he let me in. Not getting in would have sucked, but I did and we made it to the front with ease. Souvenirs played first and they were fucking dope. Chain Gang of 1974 was next and they were not dope. AFI killed it and the setlist was dope. After the show we waited in front for a bit and Kelli and her friends made plans. I saw a girl who's been seeing me at shows for years and has told me this twice over the years, despite us not knowing each other. Thought about saying something, but was not sure if it was her. Naturally I asked her on the gram if it was her I had seen, and it was indeed her. I went to some bar with Kelli and her friends and was miserable. They just talked about other people until almost 2 AM. I slept at a table until they were finally ready to leave. We got to her other friend's house around 2 and I immediately passed out on the couch. Woke up before 7, got a Lyft to the airport and was home by noon. Was hoping to get a pie at Marquis and wait online at The Gothic, but I passed out til almost 5. Went to Native Foods, then the show. Was fully prepared to go to the back of the line, but Jonathan hit me whole I unknowingly passed him and let me cut. He was super close to the door. He was with some drunk girl who tried to talk to me about AFI and how "hardcore" she was. I was annoyed, of course. Got to the front easily once again. Jonathan and his friend were annoying everyone around me and they almost got kicked out twice. They were told to go to the opposite side of us and that they'd be kicked out if they came back. The girl not only ended up near us, but in front of the barricade! Security grabbed her and I don't know what happened to her. Souvenirs were still dope and CGO1974 still were not. AFI outdid themselves, which I was not expecting at all! Crawled during "Totalimmortal" and got the mic briefly. Crawl was weak and I am blaming it on the fact that I was wearing boots. I was trying to be courteous and NOT kick people with them. Vincent from Souvenirs said he liked my Nerve Agents shirt and I was like "Thanks, I like your band." I bought both CDs and haven't stopped listening to them. Waited with some people for the band after the show. Adam came out and recognized me pretty quickly. He started talking to me and said he hadn't seen me in a while. He asked where I was living, I told him Denver and asked if they were gonna have another tour where they hit all the east coast cities they skipped on this one, and he said they will. Guess I'll be coming out again later, and it will be warmer! Davey also recognized me immediately and said it was good to see me again. He also asked where I was living these days. Given how many states I have seen them in, I wonder where they even thought I lived initially. I asked him about the gold Zu shoes I have and if they were legit. He was surprised to see'm and was like "Yeah! Those are legit! Those were mine!" He gave them to a friend and I told him "Oh, wow. Well, I have them. They're here now." "I'm glad ~you~ have them," he replied. Brought up how it went perfectly with the shirt he gave me years ago and went on my way. Someone stopped me and said "Hey, they're talking about your jacket!" I didn't hear any of it, but I went back to Smith and talked about my backpatch. That cartoon punk AFI shirt of which there are only 70 or something. He told me about he got his shirt from Davey when they were brand new. He also asked if I was from San Diego cuz of my Battalion of Saints patch. I was like "Nah, they're just good." Vincent started following me on the gram, I followed him, and saw that he got a picture of the Karl Malone and John Stockton statues at the Jazz arena in SLC. I immediately hated myself for not thinking to do the same. The arena was RIGHT across the street from the venue, too. Going to NY and Philly. Initially passed on Boston cuz we had no idea how dope these set lists were gonna be and thought it was just gonna be their usual thing. Regretting that now and am hoping to get in somehow. I know something dope is gonna happen if I don't go. Ugh. I didn't proofread this.

Dat Blood Doe

AFI just put out their fourth best album. Obvz nothing will top their first three, but I really thought Crash Love was as good as this line-up would get. Can't believe they topped it.

I'm Sorry to Add to Your Disappointment, but I Won't be Brought Down

I have recently purchased SO much stuff that I have wanted for so long. I didn’t but any of the tickets for the shows I spoke of in the last entry because I wanted this stuff instead. The Girl tried to come at me with some bullshit late Friday night. She messaged me saying “Jason, I heard that you told everyone that we had a thing. I thought you weren’t getting involved in rumors,” alluding to something we had talked about over a week earlier, which was the last time we spoke. I was very blunt with her and deaded that shit real quick. I called her out on the duplicity she thought I was unaware of, as well as many things. She replied a few hours ago with a completely different tone: "You know what? I'm sorry I ever told anyone anything at [work]. As much as I like some of the people there- I can't go back. I've messed up way too much. I hate myself for all the dumb things I've done that have affected you and others around me. Let's pretend I never existed." I don't know what she was hoping to accomplish with her initial message, but it obviously didn't work out the way she had hoped. I haven't responded and will go back to ignoring her now that I have said what I needed to. I am glad this is over. Yesterday was her last day. It was a good week. New AFI on Friday; see'm the following Friday and Saturday. Life is dope.

When you suspect something about yourself and the only ex you are friends with tells you she's known all along.

Haven’t worked since Tuesday. I had Wednesday off, but woke up Thursday feeling like shit, same went for Friday. Wish I could say I was productive, but I was not. I have been on my couch watching Psych most of the year. I did wash my clothes and sheets last night.

19 days ‘til I see AFI in SLC with Kelli!

A-F show was cool. They played most of Die for the Government, not all of it. They skipped: Safe Tonight* Red White and Brainwashed* Police State in the USA Punk by the Book* No More Dead Confused Youth

*bummed about these

I took one picture at the end of their set. I am glad it came out okay, cuz that was the last bit of space my phone had, as I got that lovely storage message on my iPhone immediately after.

Adrianna hit a lot of traffic on her way over, so she was super late. We did not have time to get Watercourse before A-F, so we decided to go there after their set. We were across the street when we noticed all the chairs on the table and that they were closed. Had to walk past the door to get to the car anyway and that is when we saw that we had not mistaken their hours, but that there was a sign saying they were “closing early due to inclement weather.”

We were gonna go to Marquis instead, but I then suggested City o’ City since it was closer. We ended up getting lost, so I don’t know if City ended up saving us any time. We could not find any easy parking in the snow, so she had to parallel park on a hill that had not been paved. It was a bit difficult, but she got it done and I was thoroughly impressed. In my experience, any time a girl has to parallel park she gets weirdly emotional and stressed – sometimes they even cry. That is not a comment about all women, just ones I have been with.

I had an El Jefé w/ cashew cheese, fries, and an order of BBQ seitan wings. I was quite satisfied. I did not start eating right away because I had the idea to tag a food pic “Dine for the Government” and I could not let it go to waste, cuz if I wasn’t gonna do it on the night I saw A-F play DFTG, when would I? As I mentioned before, I had already used the last of my phone’s space on the one pic I got at the end of the A-F set, so it would not let me take another picture. I deleted a bunch of pics and vids, but nothing helped. I was on my phone for a few minutes and I felt horrible about it, but I really could not let the idea go to waste. I ended up deleting an app and getting the picture. I apologized for my behavior and she made fun of me for it, understandably.

Big ups to Adrianna for not letting the waitress take my plate away while I was in the bathroom. There were just some greens, tomato slices, and a tiny wing left, so it definitely looked like I was done to someone unfamiliar with me. Paying at the end was pretty funny, as we were confused as to how to go about it – pretty sure one person thought we were gonna dine and dash.

The following morning I found out Tiger Army are opening for Frank Turner solely in Denver on the 25th, so we will obviously be going to that. Also found out Suicidal Tendencies are playing 3/10, then I found out Samiam are also playing that day. Thought I had a tough decision to make, but it turns out Samiam are playing Springs, Denver, and Collins, so I can now see both of them! Those three shows are Thursday, Friday, and Saturday respectively, so I'ma have to see’m in Collins. They are playing the same tiny club I saw Swingin’ Utters at in October. If things were cool with The Girl, I would stay with her and maybe even make a weekend out of it, but they are not, so there is gonna be quite a bit of driving that Saturday. I hope it does not snow that weekend. Adrianna is down for ST. She will check out Samiam and get back to me, as she has not heard them before.

I Do Not Deserve Your Frigidness

The Girl told That Girl about our fling. That Girl is my best friend at work, so she told me everything. The Girl maintains that she wants to see if we are “compatible as friends,” something That Girl corroborated, but she has said too much shit at work about me, and I really do not feel like dealing with her duplicity anymore, so I'ma just ignore her these final two weeks. Maybe shit can be sorted out in the future, but I am over all of it currently and would prefer we stay out of each other’s lives.

Adrianna and I will be seeing Anti-Flag play all of Die for the Government tonight. As far as I am concerned, that album should be over when “Fuck Police Brutality” is, as those last four songs really fucking drag. I expect to have a good time though. We will get some Watercourse beforehand, and I am very much looking forward that.

I got paid day off for New Year’s on Sunday, so I got a regular day off today. Went to the Ogden box office to try and get my ticket for tonight, forgetting that it is only open on Saturdays. Some guy passed by and asked “Can I buy you a beer if you call this number for me?” I made some kind of sound that he knew to take as a “no” and walked away. I was texting Adrianna when he asked, so all I heard was “Buy you a beer” and I immediately brushed him off. Almost felt bad when I realized what I had done, but fuck thinking that buying me a beer would ever motivate me to do anything.

JXS

2016

Attended both Misfits reunion shows. Hooked up with the sexiest girl I’ve ever met.

There were lots of other dope moments, but those were easily the dopest. I don’t know which one shocked me more. The Girl, I think.

My life undoubtedly peaked this year.

I'd Never Cheat on Her with Someone at Panda Express

Two weeks down working with The Girl. On Tuesday she said she's thought about asking to come over, but that people tell her she shouldn't go back to someone it didn't work out with before, and that she is worried she'll change her mind again, thinking I'm too different from her. This all happened through messages of course. I was shocked, as we still hadn't even spoken at work, and cuz she totally snubbed me a few days earlier. Thursday was the first day at work where shit felt normal between us. We talked and goofed around, which was nice. She didn't have the wig anymore, and having to look at her made me feel shit I can't even explain. She's fucking beautiful and I hate that I can't get over it or look past it, even though I know we are completely different and incompatible. Hearing customers compliment her and having Cristina (whom The Girl told about us) tell me how pretty she is and that I fucked up doesn't help. Friday felt weird again. No interaction despite all the crossed paths, so naturally I will think about this all weekend. Zach wants to come back and I am pumped about it. My team has been super bratty lately and I need someone similar to me back there making sure shit gets done.

Oh, Message Received Loud and Clear

One week down working with The Girl. It's been super weird. My life is literally "No Reason" by Minor Threat right now. We've spoken through messenger while at work or at home, but the actual work interactions have been brief. There have only been a few, and all have been work related except for one. The longest being when I had to talk to her about how she took a 15 instead of the allotted 10. This happened on a day that I also wrote up two other people for constant break abuse. Yesterday she told me via messenger that she is a little bothered by me cuz I got her and "a ton of other good workers in trouble." Two is not a ton, and those two are also not good workers (one of them was actually yelling about how much she hates me to That Girl when they were closing the other night). I told her she wasn't in trouble, I was just telling her to watch it like I would anyone else, and that I wasn't treating her any differently. "That's fine. See ya later" was her response. When I left for lunch today some blonde girl looked at me, stuck out her tongue, and then laughed. I was completely thrown off by it, but realized it was her as we passed each other. I whipped out my phone to message her that I didn't even recognize her and that it looked great, but I knew she had already put her stuff away. I think she had a wig on. When I came back with my food I spotted her and immediately went up to her asking "Was it obvious how fucking confused I was?" and laughed. She gave me an unpleasant look and walked away with an employee she was talking to. I laughed again and said "Wow, okay." I had to respect the snub, as I had never been snubbed harder -- might have even been the first time. The employee she was with is the worst one we have, too. She sure knows how to pick 'em. If she really dislikes me cuz I am doing my job, then that makes this all real easy to deal with. I wanted things to be somewhat normal, but I guess we are really going to just sit in the same room and look the other way...

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