illectus
i really want an “i accidentally broke into your house/apartment because my friend lives next door to you and i was in the area, drunk, and i thought i was climbing into the right window and falling asleep on the right couch (and i did wonder when my friend got two cats but i didn’t question it) so now i’m hungover and shirtless in your living room so um hi howya doin” au
[ this was legitimately kind of ridiculous. coming in after midnight was bad enough, but coming in to find her window was left open? and the a/c was pretty much broken - leaving her with nothing but a few puny fans running. and so she’d stomped to her room, changed her clothes and gone to bed.
oh she’d tossed and turned - but she had slept. the alarm went off right on time, four fourty-five am. and so with shuffling feet she made her way to the kitchen, flicking on the light as she made the coffee. from the distinctive ache in her head, she better aim for at least three cups.
yet she noticed that neither of the cats came for food, and so worried they’d managed to get through the window screen she padded into the living room. flipping the light switch as she entered - which elicited a soft and contented mewl from one of her feline companions. turning to see where they were —-
she let out a shriek.
shirtless man on her couch.
shirtless man on her couch with her cats.
shirtless man she didn’t know on her couch with her cats.
this was a major problem .
the cats went scurrying as she reached for the nearest weaponlike object, which was really just a pole lamp she hadn’t bothered to plug in yet. such things happened when you just moved in ]
” who the HELL are you? “
[ last night had been a mishap of sorts, a night dante probably wouldn't live down for quite a while from now, with events not to be mentioned or brought up again in any way — yes, even he had some kind of shame, as surprising as that was, just a tiny bit — but waking up in someone else's house had to be the cherry on top of the icing. a good friend of his, dave, had offered to leave the window open for him to clamber in, but dante just had to have chosen the wrong window. not the window. fuck it.
it'd been a thought at the back of his mind when he'd snuck in— how he didn't quite recall dave ever having cats ( wasn't he allergic to animal fur? ) and how the decor of the living room was quite unusally pink from what he could make out in the dim lighting. nonetheless, he couldn't think of anything else but wanting to sleep, so he'd ended up crashing on the couch, with the faintest recollection of quiet meowing noises as a bundle of fur nestled by his side, another curling up on his bare chest before he knocked out.
dimly, he could hear light scuffling as he felt the loss of cats' warmth against him, and then, very distinctly, he could hear yelling.
a woman's voice.
not dave, then.
... dave's girlfriend?
did dave even have a girlfriend?
with an audiable groan, dante rolled onto his side, clasping a hand to his head as he felt the hangover hit him like a boulder. he dared to open his eyes a fraction, peering over and spotting a woman he didn't know with a very murderous look on her face. ]
