I Loathe NY

Picture and Commentary on the city that always shits.

[iloatheny]

My theories right! All homeless people are richer than me! I mean, I'm not sure what his data plan is, but his phone is way nicer than mine.

[iloatheny]

Forrest Gump: Found

[iloatheny]

I don't trust him

[iloatheny]

Cannabis Energy Drink for when you need that extra boost, but you secretly want to take a nap

[iloatheny]

I once watched a man clean his entire body with a handful of the napkins the street meat carts give out.

[iloatheny]

My dad casually getting his exercise in for the day

[iloatheny]

I thought my mom was cool, pshhh

It was just another day's commute back to Brooklyn: smelly, loud, overcrowded, babies being babies.  Down the train car about fifteen feet a proud mother of three kiddos was trying to keep them tame as the A/C unit condensation was dripping on them.  It'd make you scream and shout, too.  She was doing a great job considering she was drinking Dog Bite High Gravity Lager.  To calm down her whining one year old in the stroller she gave it a sip out of her bendy straw. Yes, she was drinking her malt liquor out of a bendy straw.  Her baby girl started coughing uncontrollably, and then burped up a cup of hot white baby chowder all over mom and the floor.  I think the entire train was in awe both with the lack of parenting and the lack of clean up. Hey, you don't have to clean up your baby's milk stew in a public place, right? Sh' nah!  Let that baby curd drip dry. 

All I know is that that dork baby can't hold her booze.  I mean cooome ooon, baby.

[iloatheny]

A pigeon took a shit on my head today, and I spilled a half a bottle of Pom on my crotch by accident. Luckiest day of the year.

[iloatheny]

Look at this guy. He's wearing umbrellas. (Kudos @lexychik)

[iloatheny]

And here is a man gripping the subway rail with his ass cheeks because his hands were full with jelly beans...

[iloatheny]

It's 80 degrees in New York today. 150 if you're wearing five blankets and a hoody.

[iloatheny]

Liquid Love is prison slang for semen. It's also a prison disguised as a bar in Bed Stuy.

[iloatheny]

Can't even nap on the subways anymore

[iloatheny]

On Saturday night I watched a drunk guy crash on his bike on Wythe Ave. It reminded me of the time I rode the hand rail down the staircase in the Canal St. subway station and was going too fast for a proper dismount.  What I'm trying to say is that I love watching people get hurt as much they love watching me get hurt.

[iloatheny]

Electric Dick Causes Asthma Attack

Everyone that lives in New York knows that out of town visitors means you're forced to go on vacation in your own city and spend next months rent money.  That is unless you have a parent come to town to pay all your expenses, which I did over the weekend.  

When my father comes to town I only want to take him to the best places, and there's only two that I know of, Sammy's Roumanian Steakhouse and The Slipper Room.  Sammy's was per usual: great Jewish food, great atmosphere, and great music by the one and only (still the one, the only) Dani Luv whom is the very essence of what healthy looking is not, but he's still hands down the best entertainer in the city.  Speaking of great entertainers in the city... We saw a magic show at The Slipper Room.  The Slipper Room is known for its cute hipster ladies doing their burlesque bits plus a few odd acts and a raunchy host.  

What a perfect combo!  

Well the odd act on this night was no let down.  The magician plugged an apparatus into the wall that electrified his whole body. He made a few sparks and awed the crowd. Cool trick.  Then he stripped down naked, and proceeded to light a kerosene soaked torch on fire via a spark that came soaring out of his fully exposed johnson.  It was this that gave my father an asthma attack from laughing. 

Great success.  Great weekend.  I guess there is just a glimpse of happiness in this city after all.

[iloatheny]

"Yeah, well this is an official Looney Tunes jacket."

But hey, I know serious fashion when I see it.

[iloatheny]

Even the MTA office in the Bedford L stop has to be uber hipster. It's called technology and we've come a long way in the past 30 years.