It was one of those gloomy, grey December days today - the last day of 2018. A day brightened up by little Flynnie being a sweetie…
I mentioned in my 2018 round-up post, about how far Flynn’s come, especially this past year. Honestly though, it takes my breath away sometimes. There were points I dreaded having to make a terrible choice, times I wasn’t sure Flynn would ever learn how to function & cope with life successfully.
It used to break my heart watching Flynn struggle - he bonded with me so quickly & in many ways I was the one he trusted most out of anyone… but at the same time, he couldn’t cope with simply sharing physical space with me - even if I made no attempt to actually touch him. I know how stressful it was for me but I can’t imagine how stressful it must’ve been for Flynn - to be desperate to be around someone but at the same time, desperately afraid of them!
In the beginning, he’d approach me sometimes, very carefully & politely & he’d try, he’d try to sit by me for a while, but it was too much… too scary. I’d watch Flynn out the corner of my eye & he’d be peeking back at me, out of the corner of his eye… I’d make a conscious effort to remain still & relaxed but as the seconds ticked on, he’d visibly grow more & more tense about our close proximity. Eventually I’d have to toss a treat, or toy off to one side, using my best happy voice to encourage Flynn to go after it - to give him an escape - because he’d get so panicky that he couldn’t remove himself from the situation, without being helped.
Now, we often sit together outside on the grass & can quietly enjoy each other’s company, without that constant tension & if Flynn peeks at me out the corner of his eye, it’s mostly because he thinks I might have treats in my pocket & he’d like one, please! Sometimes it feels so normal, I barely register it but then sometimes, it just hits me again - how special & hard won these moments together are. So many other little things too - if I bend down to tie a shoelace, Flynn’s wiggling over to lick my face… if I open my bag, Flynn’s there trying to stick his head inside… if I’m in the way, Flynn’s merrily shoving me aside, or even running through my legs! You know, regular dog stuff except, for Flynn, it’s huge.
I don’t know that I’d ever deliberately want to take on another dog as challenging as Flynn but I will always be glad I took a chance on him. I love my little buddy & gaining his trust has been & continues to be, an adventure, an education & an honour.
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