My Diet Journey

22 / 5’5” SW: 260.8 lbs HW: 274 lbs CW: 260 lbs GW: 250 UGW: prolly like 110ish Moved to shrinking-pootato

[im-workin-on-me]

Kill me my new blog got terminated. That’s great. Totally not crying rn. Fuck tumblr. Such an inconsiderate fucking app.

[im-workin-on-me]

I’ve decided I’m moving to a new account! It’s @shrinkingpotato , feel free to come find me. I just want one where I can reply using my ed account, not my old fangirl one lol.

[im-workin-on-me]

Clothes I Bought in Smaller Sizes

Cute workout leggings (had them for like two years and never worn, I’m such a fat fuck) Size L

Cute dress! Stripey light blueish

Statement purple skirt - I fit, but I’m too fat to pull it off.

Maroon dress with flowers - so flowy and cute, I fit but again, too fat

Red+black dress - detailed pattern, I fit but not well. At all.

Shirt with avocados on it! M bought it for me.

My old homecoming dresses. They were pretty. I need to lose at least 50 lbs for those. (Not bought specifically in smaller, but they’re a bit goal for me. I should probs clean out my closet at my moms...)

Pink and white skirts - used to fit them barelyy but I’d bust em now.

Jeans! I think I have two in size 14... still huge I know. But it’s something to start at?

[im-workin-on-me]

This cute lavender top I just bought in L

New workout leggings I got on great clearance - one L, one M

[im-workin-on-me]

Restocked my biotin a couple days ago, got bogo free so just 21 for like three months worthhh hell ye

[im-workin-on-me]

Clothes I Bought in Smaller Sizes

Cute workout leggings (had them for like two years and never worn, I’m such a fat fuck) Size L

Cute dress! Stripey light blueish

Statement purple skirt - I fit, but I’m too fat to pull it off.

Maroon dress with flowers - so flowy and cute, I fit but again, too fat

Red+black dress - detailed pattern, I fit but not well. At all.

Shirt with avocados on it! M bought it for me.

My old homecoming dresses. They were pretty. I need to lose at least 50 lbs for those. (Not bought specifically in smaller, but they’re a bit goal for me. I should probs clean out my closet at my moms...)

Pink and white skirts - used to fit them barelyy but I’d bust em now.

Jeans! I think I have two in size 14... still huge I know. But it’s something to start at?

[im-workin-on-me]

Boy oh boy, have I fucked my self this time. I keep on binging, binging, binging, and not moving at all. I keep smoking all the weed, spending every day in a weedy haze. I get nothing done. I’m not mentally healthy enough yet to get a job, not to be a reliable person at the least. I need to start working on my continuing education so that I don’t lose my massage license. I really need to.

I think I’m going to go into the gym tomorrow and renew my membership/pay the fees since the bank info I put in last time was a number off oopsie. That way once I get over this cold I can start a routine around my workouts. Routine. That’s what I need. Then I’ll have times when I don’t smoke, giving me the chance to do a good study session before I get high and eat. I’ll also smoke less! Just. Overall I think getting my gym schedule back is going to help me start piecing my life back together.

I finally got a counseling appointment. It’s gonna be over the phone tho... ugh. I’m it excited for it really, but I know that therapy is the only way I’ll be a person again. But. I don’t know. I got comfy being a depressed blob again, barely doing anything, just like before I got my job. I hate it. I do nothing. But I’m also scared of doing anything. It’s scary. I’m scared. And I hate that. I hate being scared to get a job in a field I love because I get anxiety over work. I love massage. I love it. I’m just terrified to have responsibilities.

Well. That’s enough rambling. Basically: I’m fat, and will renew gym membership ASAP

[im-workin-on-me]

hhhhhhhrrrrrr M’s legs are skinnier than mine 😭

[im-workin-on-me]

I always feel the worst when he doesn’t want a kiss

[im-workin-on-me]

Fuck M. Fuck M so much. So last night, like the genius he is, he brought up that he knew someone (me) who shit their pants while driving and had to clean it up. Guess who asked who it was? My sister. What did he say instead of throwing an old school friend under the bus? “I can’t say. They’ll be mad and I’m in the line of fire.”

Wow. Guess who could possibly hurt him AT THE MOMENT??? Me. Great. I start fuckin nervous laughing, sister realizes that, hey, it’s my sister who shit herself.

He thinks it’s fucking hilarious. Why wouldn’t he? It’s not like he’s fucking shit himself while driving. He doesn’t know just how fucking humiliating it was. He doesn’t give a shit at all.

I just got pissed at him over it, last night I was just in shock. He told me I’m overreacting, that he wouldn’t be pissed if our situations were reversed, and that if I have ANY pot, I should smoke it.

Great way to tell someone that you’re sorry.

[im-workin-on-me]

Someone murder me so I don’t let my family down by failing suicide again.

[ghore]

I’m on a new diet called don’t fucking look at me

[im-workin-on-me]

Me: *takes nudes*

Me: wow my body is trash but i gotta post on OF...

Me: *deletes 50% of them*

Me: huh I don’t have anything to post

Rinse and repeat

[im-workin-on-me]

Ngl, my sh cuts... kinda pretty and mesmerizing

[im-workin-on-me]

Yo I got lotsa cutties tonight cause I feel unattractiveeeee as fuuuuuck cause M left before I S-ed his D. Fuck M.

Too bad I’m fat tho

[im-workin-on-me]

Me: *c**ting myself*

M: “yo stop or I’ll move out”

Me: *c**s but doesn’t fuck him*

M: “you never fuck me anymore”

Me: *stares at camera* “I wonder why”

[im-workin-on-me]

When you look up the lethal doses on your meds just to be... careful. Haha

[im-workin-on-me]

I’m horny for weight loss, not sex.