Chemical Kid

[rpftourney]

Best RPF Ship - FINAL!

Phan (Phil Lester/Daniel Howell, Youtube RPF) vs Jedus (Jesus of Nazareth/Judas Iscariot, World History & The Bible)

Phan

Jedus

Voting ended onDec 2, 2024

[omghotmemes]

At night the beast sleeps

[10pointstodumbledore-deactivate]

I’m not really sure if I want to go to Purdue if I have to look at the guy from Bee Movie every day.

[authorbrandondion]

Von’s is an independent bookstore located on Purdue University’s campus in West Lafayette, Indiana.

[lesbianshepard]

Just heard a customer two aisles over go “Hey, I think this is that special glass that doesn’t shatter when you drop it” followed by the sound of shattering glass. I hate retail.

[bethisanarwhal]

“Girls can do both stupid fun beautiful shit and do smart people shit. They’re not mutually exclusive”

— Cristine Rotenberg (Simply Nailogical) 

[thedemonsadvocate]

Guys, I found Dan and Phil’s address.

P Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney

[datachapel]

i had the funniest fucking dream i was hanging out with michael jackson and someone asked him what his pronouns were and he said “he/hee!” and i woke up crying

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

the energy this has is immense and horrifying 

[rico-bear]

🐸

[jigglyturk]

If a guy sends me this via grindr I’m honestly going on a date with them

[mexerection]

It’s not easy being green on Grindr

[naturaekos]

[feminismfuckyeah]

MORE BRANDS LIKE CHNGE IN 2018 ‼️

[reshipped]

Need all of em tbh 💯💯✅

[cravings]

wow… and they donate 50% of their profits

[done]

each shirt also saves over 500 gallons of water by using 100% organic cotton 

[bubbles]

AND they’re a carbon neutral company

[notcrazyiswear]

I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly. Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.

[danglingthpider]

I waitressed my way through college and one night this guy yells at me “Oi! you with the tits!” and my co-worker Matthew walked up to him and said “yes?”

[mothman-stan]

That is the best co-worker in the world.

[bob-belcher]

[littleredbard]

[malamatter]

Is that…, josh peck…

[im-the-batmann]

If I don’t see this somewhere on my tl every Friday, I’m gonna be very upset

[wiszvnheimer]

oh… she can sing

[layla-marie422]

Why didn’t she release this version originally??

[moving-accounts-yeet]

because she was 13 and had no control over it and now shes in her 20s lol

[mulaney]

Anonymous: Did you ever go back to the Salt and Pepper diner?

[honeybunash]

at my show he told us about this!! and then he also said that he got arrested with the same friends he went to the salt and pepper diner with and they were all named john and the police officer had them all lined up on his car and he asked the first guys name and he said john and then he asked john mulaney and he said john and then the officer said “if you say your name is john youre all going to jail” and then he said his name is john and the officer lost his shit

[bulbiedorf]

Dear People Who Smoke

I don’t know if you have considered this but stop smoking in areas where people are forced to wait at. Don’t smoke at crosswalks. Don’t smoke outside doorways. Don’t smoke at bus stops. People with asthma or other breathing conditions or people that idk DON’T WANT TO BREATHE IN YOUR CIGARETTE SMOKE are trying to get to places and need to be able to breathe. Stop smoking in crowded areas. stop smoking in crowded areas. STOP FORCING NONSMOKERS TO SECOND HAND SMOKE. 

[bethany-sensei]

This may be news to some people, but this applies to marijuana too.

[apersnicketylemon]

This actually also applies to vapes. My asthma goes off to even vape smoke, it’s not harmless, there are particulates in it that other peoples lungs can and are affected by.

You do not have the right to force anyone else to smoke or vape your fumes.

[lesbian-ashe]

with a special shout-out and fuck you to parents that smoke in the car with their children

[sad-plath]

me showing you my romantic side: I wanna go grocery shopping with you

[zzdigital]

What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like

“Dude, you haven’t gone outside in a while.” “Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.”

“Are you still up?” “Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.”

“Dude, I’m seriously craving something right now.” “Like what?” “I dunno. Pizza rolls?”

[adriofthedead]

“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?” “Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”

[paulichu]

“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bullshit.”

[samarajournal]

“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?”

[espeoradar]

“Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?” “…Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.”

“Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I’m around? It really bugs me for some reason.”

[recondite-room]

“Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.”

[nickthepigeon]

“I want to sleep in a coffin…ya kno, for like… aesthetic”

[therightprometheanfire]

“What’s with your thing about necks lately?”

“MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME”

[hopetimistic]

“I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer.”

[samwise-the-true-hero-deactivat]

This last addition made the reblog obligatory. This one wins.