watch closely.

Victoria. 22. I really like giraffes.

[beewatch-deactivated20200725]

[wndasmaximoffs]

[theartofangirling]

I don’t know John Mulaney’s wife but I trust her

[verylostpenguin]

Me: i love books! I love them so much! I am such a bookworm!

Friend: cool! How many did you read this year?

Me: OK, so here’s the thing

[inabasket]

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

[hakuteeth]

Some ppl say comedy is dead cause of “political correctness” but like john mulaney did an entire bit on captchas and bo burnham did an entire bit on not being able to fit ur hand inside a pringles can so really anything is possible as long as ur actually funny

[baristaboy]

A peanut M&M.. is not an M&M with a peanut in it.. it’s a peanut with a little bit of M&M around it..

John Mayer (via baristaboy)

[iwilleatyourenglish]

some of guillermo del toro’s retweets are

[ithelpstodream]

[osterfields-deactivated20181007]

paul rudd: [an actor who has played many different roles through his career, and now even plays a superhero that will likely be his most recognized character]

ben wyatt’s voice in the back of my head, softly whispering:

[ink-phoenix]

[reginasphalanges]

[traumaticchild]

when my parents get mad at me for traits they have 

[tsunglasses]

[bospaladin]

Anfnajjrmwlqjfkwifjiwkdnslb

[unlimitedgoats]

WHAT.

[animedads-deactivated20210108]

they call me… 7 Knives. because that’s how many knives it takes me to cook things because I keep puttin em in the fuckin sink without thinking about it

[aquamirage]

[bloodbending]

the most painful social interactions are when you miscalculate someone’s meme literacy and reference something and the person/group doesn’t get it and u have to half-heartedly explain it knowing FULL well it’s 0% funny if people don’t have the full convoluted context of the joke and u feel the flames of hell start to lick at ur feet as they all give u a pity laugh