When it comes to Love, each & everyone of us speaks a Different Language.
Book Recommendation: The 5 Languages of Love by Gary Chapman
So, I was googling books on love the other day, to find a book that may enlighten me a bit more on this topic that genuinely interests me. Aside from the fact, that I am a person that craves Love from people, from my hobbies, from a spiritual higher power, from me. I think Love is such a fascinating emotion and has the power to make people do unexpected things.
In this book, Chapman writes that there are 5 languages when it comes to Love. Regardless your cultural background, status, gender etc. You would be able to identify with one of these languages as one of your main primary language when it comes to Love. The languages are:
Of course, no one speaks strictly one language. In most cases, we are all an amalgamation of these languages, just that one speaks out more to us than the others. If we did, love wouldn’t be so complicated and interesting really.
To understand more about each quality, you can easily go over to his website to read about it, and even do a quiz to figure out your scores in these different languages at
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Cheesy as it sounds, and borderline gimmicky, to categorise Love into FIVE specific languages, I found a lot of truth, AHA moments and humour even when I read his book, because I saw these different languages in the different people in my life. Not just love from the relationships I’ve been in, but also love from my friends and family and of course myself. If you knew a person well enough, it would be relatively easy to identify their primary Love language, and the rough hierarchy of these languages in them.
And to see if it was really true, I tested waters. Before I told anyone about this book I was reading, I tried to identify the languages of others in my family, especially the ones which don’t speak the same language as me. In other words, the cause for our disagreements and conflicts at times. Instead, in a few days, I took the effort to actually vocalise my pride for the person (Words of affirmation) Before, where I would internalise this, I now took to saying it out loud. And you could almost immediately see the positive effect it left on people for quite a prolonged period during the day. It sounds ridiculous, but it works!
Love Languages, dialects, words aside however, I think the most profound thing to me was that, even if we all could identify every other persons love languages accurately, that’s it, end of story; love will prevail. No. The most profound thing for me was realising that in identifying another’s love language, even when it conflicts with our own language, we choose to learn and “speak” it, even when it is not in our nature. We choose to do it, out of love. Because we love the other. Simple or straightforward as it seems, I found this extremely eye-opening.
So if you have time, I highly suggest reading it or listening to the audiobook. Its brought me a lot of clarity to my understanding of people, my relationships with my friends and family. It also helps you decide if some people are worth the effort or not...
“Do not Fall in Love darling... Rise in Love,” - The Dreamer
When we realise that we all don’t necessarily speak the same language, but choose to learn another for a loved one, we are giving more than “just love” but encouragement, hope, motivation, support, empathy, inspiration for the person. With this understanding and effort, we can be so much more meaningful and enriching to others. And I can’t help but think about it, but don’t you think if two people mutually did this for one another, the amazing things that can come out of it?!
Call me a dreamer, but I’d like to think that some dreams can come true, with time and effort of course.
Lots & lots & lots of Love