a wonderful night to remember series.
torger christian wolff (toto wolff) x female!reader (ana gomes)
this chapter contains: anxiety & panic attack, trauma flashbacks, emotional distress, mentions of mental illness angst, implied consequences of a one-night stand, mentions of abuse, suicide, rape (not towards ana), loosing a childhood best friend and a family member.
(please if you're living in france call this numbers: 3114 [french national helpline of suicide], 17 [police]/114 [text messages to report a rape], 119 [child abuse & domestic violence], you're not alone and don't be afraid.)
reader discretion advised :)))))
author's note: this story is entirely fictional. inspired by emotion, atmosphere, and human connection—not reality. characters are flawed, healing is not linear, and love is not easy here. you can translate, use my story and give me credit or not (i don't mind if you don't.) and enjoy it please.
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chapter III: what lingers in silence.
nice, france — three days later.
doctor ana gomes had learned how to function while breaking.It was a skill. one perfected over years of loss, orphanage walls, and nights spent convincing herself she was fine. she moved through her apartment mechanically—coffee untouched, curtains half-drawn, phone face-down like it might betray her if she looked at it too long.
three days. no calls. no messages. no name exchanged beyond whispers and breath.
good, she told herself. this is what you wanted. her heart didn’t agree. she leaned against the bathroom sink, staring at her reflection.
dark circles. skin too pale. hands shaking—not from withdrawal, not from fear—but from something deeper. memory. a smell. a tone of voice. a room too quiet.
her chest tightened. suddenly she wasn’t twenty-six anymore. she was fifteen again—heart racing, door slammed too hard, words cutting sharper than hands ever did.
at the hospital, ana moved on instinct. rounds. charts. calm voice. steady hands.
“dr. gomes?” a nurse called softly.
“you okay?” ana blinked, refocusing.
“yes. sorry. just—thinking.”
she always was. the lie came easily. but then it happened. a name on a chart. a surname. her chest tightened instantly. memory crashed in without warning—a raised voice, she immediately recognized and didn't want to listen...the voice of her older brother, marcos.
a hand slamming into a wall beside her head. “you’re too sensitive.” he’d sneered.
“stop being a baby and grow up.”
many memories she had and she was super desperate to hide it, she has been abused by marcos: emotionally, physically, mentally and many things that he did...her childhood best friend maria committed suicide after she found out through maria's suicide note that her own brother raped her when she was at ana's 13th birthday party which she was drugged and unconscious...and she blamed herself for getting her best friend killed, ana remembers the day maria killed herself, it was supposed to be a nice school day, maria didn't have any anormal behaviour ana couldn't detect, she was very happy... opening, smiling and everything seemed fine.
ana froze when maria jumped off a bridge when they were walking home, she was just 13 years old...she didn't know what to do, she remembers she was speechless, froze and didn't know what to do besides crying and freaking out, and the police were called...
her mom comforted her that night, she had many questions in her mind and couldn't find answers, which the investigation came out as suicide, until years later she found out the real reason but marcos went missing and she couldn't come forward because she was traumatized and scared, she still carried that pain for years and still does.
back to reality, her chest tightened violently. “no,” she whispered, pressing her palm over her heart. “not now. please.”
her vision blurred. she focused on the cold tile beneath her fingers. five things she could feel. four things she could hear. three things she could see.
ground yourself. you’re safe. you’re twenty-six. you survived.
another memory forced its way in—uninvited. a hotel room in monaco. warm sheets. a german accent deep low voice murmuring her name like it mattered. her stomach twisted.
she stood abruptly, stumbling toward the sink. her reflection stared back at her—eyes too wide, skin too pale. her gaze drifted to the calendar on the wall. she froze. her breath caught painfully in her throat as she's feeling her stomach having pain as she's struggling to breath and uncontrollable tears are coming out. it was too early to know anything. too early to panic. too early to assume. but her body remembered things before her mind ever did. ana closed her eyes as she's having a panic attack in a room where she ran off to hide her feelings and traumas. “please,” she whispered again, to no one.
“i can’t do this. i don't wanna go through this again..”
brackley, england — mercedes-amg petronas headquarters.
toto wolff had stared at the same data sheet for ten minutes without reading a single number.
he blinked. james allison stood across the table, brow slightly raised, tablet in hand. concern masked as professionalism.
“sorry,” toto said, straightening. “what was the question?”
james hesitated. “i asked if you agreed with the aero update schedule for barcelona.”
toto opened his mouth—then closed it.
he nodded once. “yes. fine.” james didn’t move.
“you’re not usually this… elsewhere.”
a pause. toto exhaled through his nose, jaw tightening. “long weekend.”
that was an understatement. monaco followed him everywhere—into meetings, into strategy calls, into the quiet moments between responsibilities. her beautiful face. the way she’d gone still afterward, like she expected him to disappear. like she’d already learned not to expect anyone to stay. he checked his phone for the third time that hour.
no name. no message. no trace. nothing, he didn’t even know where she lived and who she is. but he immediately fell in love with her, and felt a connection with her, he has so many things he could do for her, knowing her, and be there for her, but she is like a magnet to him, a sweet and kind person who he cannot get her out of his head. and he loves it. with her, he's not toto wolff, the legacy and everyone knows who he is and what he does for living but with her, he feels like someone else outside of his own self...
even he didn’t even know where she lived.
“verdammt,” he muttered under his breath.
james pretended not to hear but he secretly knew that something was bothering toto but still he won't pressure his own boss.
later at night, ana didn’t sleep. she sat on her balcony instead, wrapped in a sweater too big for her, cigarette burning slowly between her fingers even though she hated herself for it.
the city below pulsed with life she felt disconnected from. her phone buzzed. once. her heart jumped before her mind could stop it.
she stared at the screen for a long moment before answering.
“hello?” silence. then a breath, low. way too familiar.
“ana.” her name hit her harder than any memory.
she closed her eyes. “how did you find my number,” she said quietly.
“i just wanted to know if you’re okay,”
toto said and ignoring her question, since he found her friend and asked for ana's number which rose gave it to him because she couldn't say no to toto wolff.
he wasn't playing any games. no arrogance. just honesty.
she swallowed. “you shouldn’t have called.”
the line crackled softly.
“you forgot something,” he added after a pause.
her stomach dropped. “…i don’t need it,” she replied.
“you might,” he said gently. “if you ever want it back.”
ana pressed her fingers to her temple, fighting the rising pressure in her chest.
“this was a mistake,” she whispered.
another pause. longer this time. “maybe,” he said.
“but it didn’t feel like one.”
“i can’t do this, i don't want to ruin your life, your career, your family...you deserve to be with someone better than a younger woman, i don't want to cause a scandal to ruin your reputation.”
she said, voice breaking despite her efforts.
“you don’t know me. you don’t know what comes with me.”
“then tell me, we might not know each other but let me tell you something, schatzi. i don't care about my life, my job or my career. i want to meet you, see you and get to know the real you, i might too old for you but you made me feel different and special.” he replied simply.
she laughed softly—sad, hollow. “i don’t let people stay.”
the silence that followed wasn’t empty.
“neither do i, but we will work things out if you want. i won't pressure you, schatz.” he said.
her chest tightened painfully. that was the problem, she didn't let anyone in because she's scared, sensitive and doesn't want to get hurt, dealing with her abusive brother marcos, her dad used to be violent and aggressive towards her mother as well as cheating on her until he died, her mom became depressed and alcoholic while dealing with bipolar, and her other brother daniel...he became suicidal and committed suicide after marcos abused him and hit him for hours because he took the blame for ana.
“you deserve someone better than me, goodbye toto.”
she hangs up the phone, as she immediately blocked the unknown number, she went to bed, crying herself to sleep while hugging a pillow.
her life was ruined, she was afraid of falling in love, getting married, having a family of her own, she was afraid of everything because of her traumas, she has a lot of demons to battle in order to be happy.
but in the back of her head...she thinks she won't have a happy ending she once thought she should have..
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thank you for reading and watching this, i know this took a dark and traumatic turn, and if you live around the globe and you are a victim of rape, domestic violence, suffering family abuse and having suicidal thoughts, please call the numbers and text if you can't speak loud who can help you in your respective country, and remember you're not alone. you are a survivor and you should be proud to tell your story no matter what people say or think.
i love you all, please take care of yourself and your mental health.
