multifandom bisexual catastrophe of a human being

previously hoe-rry // Lenka // she/her // 22 // i live for bill hader's arm hair

[lordendsavior]

Ninth day of anti -government protests in Poland over abortion law | 30.10.2020

(via gazeta_wyborcza)

[hstylesgallery]

Harry for Fine Line. (photo by Tim Walker)

[midnightwinterhawk]

[tackedtothewall]

Images are of this twitter thread from Archer Kasai, depicting beats in the 1999 film The Mummy as moments in a tabletop RPG.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[free-range-tiddies]

Antivaxxers: The vaccines have microchips, the government is trying to track us!

The smartphones/smart tech in their house:

[guccixcucci]

The drivers license/credit & debit cards in their wallets

[kingthekj]

The social security number they've had since birth

[bishonen]

trans woman telling people to stop using the fucky term “womxn” because its a bullshit attempt at being ~inclusive of trans women~ that ends up transmisogynistic and this has me losing my mind

[fireproofs]

i hate seeing people when i’m buying groceries and such......i am in my most vulnerable state please look away

[quotemadness]

“Sometimes suffering is just suffering. It doesn’t make you stronger. It doesn’t build character. It only hurts.”

— Kate Jacobs

[whitepeopletwitter]

[uchihajacob]

pass it on

[mariamlovesyou]

she’s right

[krajtaz]

mutuals do this with me

[xicamatl-deactivated20201127]

So, my boss and I are investigating a cheating case across the border in California.

We show up to this enormous mansion, it’s at the top of a hill. We get cleared through security, and after a drive up the extravagant tree-lined path the husband is waiting for us. He’s looking pissed as hell and for some reason he’s in a bathrobe. There’s an older brown Mexican woman standing beside him. She appears to be a housekeeper. We make eye contact.

The husband is already at a 10. “THANK GOD you’re fucking here! My wife, she-”

My boss quickly stops him from making a scene. “Let’s go inside and talk in private.”

So the husband leads us inside and takes us into a meeting room. 

“Tell us everything you know,” my boss asks as we sit. The two of us have done countless cheating investigations. They kind of lose their drama after the eighth time you discover a husband with a secret porn ring or a wife with a lover in Australia.

“I told her to take a vacation so I could hire you guys while she was gone. I know my wife is cheating on me,” the husband is literally wringing his hands. “I don’t know who the guy is or how she gets him in past security, but they do it in my house. She’s acting so smug lately, like she used to after we… y’know. Sadly, we stopped being intimate after my doctor said-”

“Okay,” now I’m interrupting him. I do not want to know that information. “Have you asked any of your house staff what they know or may have seen?”

The husband rolls his eyes. “None of them speak English. How would I ask them anything?”

My boss just looks at me, exhausted. I get up to go find the housekeeper from earlier.

We immediately switch to Spanish.

“What the fuck is going on with that puto mierda?”

She’s been dying to tell me. “So the wife is cheating with the vice-president of the husband’s company. She sneaks him in through the window near the garden where there aren’t any cameras. They fuck in the wine cellar when cabrón is watching sports. They have been doing this for three years.”

I nod. “Do you have proof?”

“Just go to the ‘wine cellar.’ The husband never goes down there. The only people that do are us and… you know.”

We go. As soon as I open the door I’m greeted with a VERY pungent smell and endless amounts of BDSM equipment. An A-frame, stocks, swing, it’s literally a sex dungeon. 

The housekeeper turns to look at me, pointedly. I’m in so much disbelief that the husband has never discovered all this in three years or bothered to ask his staff that I have no clue what to even say.

“I’m telling you this not because I care about the husband,” the housekeeper makes sure to clarify, “but because the wife is a piece of shit who underpays us and I want to see the husband possibly kill his best friend. I am old. It will bring me joy before I die.”

We return to the meeting room, and I must have looked off because both my boss and the husband stopped talking to look directly at me.

“Yeah, I have something that you need to see. And I’m going to have to charge extra for pain and suffering damages.”

Moral of the story: Watch Parasite the movie and never ever underestimate the fearsome power of a latina who hates your guts and loves telenovela

[000044-deactivated20220702]

[thickness-protection-program]

[lordendsavior]

i am extremely distraught

[calellon]

it’s just me and my stupid little fantasies against the world

[knifefightscene]

also fun fact that vietnam war ended in 1975 that was only 44 years ago i don’t care how hard it was for us veterans to kill people. two millions poor people died in that war, thousands of children are still born with tremendous health problems due to the effect of chemical bombings (the orange agent to be specific) i’m tired of hollywood making movies about the vietnam war and focus on how brave white people are for killing n terrorizing us

[befuddledlesbian]

not to mention there are still around 80 million unexploded bombs in Laos alone which is making farmers afraid to work their land, keeping the country as one as the poorest in the world. 50 000 people have been killed by unexploded bombs in Laos since the end of the war, 75% of whom were children