There's only one bed and I'll be taking it, darling.
Note: This is the unofficial follow up to snippet #3, but can totally be read as a standalone. Are they lovers? Are they friends? Are they something worse? Who the hell knows. This is written under the pretense that the confession in the shadow cursed lands didn't happen because it's fun to explore things like that!
Divider credit: @uzmacchiato
"Harold? Howard? Hum…Humbert…"
The owlbear cub looks at you with an expression that can only be described as displeasure. You huff and scratch his chin, ignoring the grime that builds under your nails as a result. "I could call you 'Itch', you know. Then you'd be matching Scratch."
"Yes, and then they could perform tricks on the street for gold. Do you think you can teach it to stand on its hind legs and spin around?"
You turn and glare at Astarion over your shoulder. "Ha, ha."
The vampire folds his arms and looks between you and the cub. "Does it really need a name? It's not like you can put a collar on that thing."
"He," You emphasize, "Is a member of our group and deserves a name like the rest of us." You look at the cub and brush back the feathers on his head. "How about Astarion jr.? What do you think about that?"
"You wouldn't dare!" Astarion gasps.
You raise a brow at him. "Wanna bet?"
The cub chirps in delight, hopping back and forth. You chuckle and grin at Astarion, who looks the most offended you've ever seen him.
"Relax, I'll come up with something else."
Astarion glowers at the little creature. "Mongrel."
You hum. "Still sore about the treat he gave you?"
"The tre- treat?!" Astarion rounds on you, hands waving every which way in a frustrated blur. "A treat would be a fat bear, not a dead rat on my pillow!"
You cover the owlbear cub's ears and fold your lips to hold back your laughter. "Okay, but did you have to fling it across the camp?"
"Would you two stop arguing over the cub so we can make a plan?!" Shadowheart yells.
Astarion stomps off towards the others, and you can't help but giggle a little when the owlbear cub chases after him. The vampire pointedly ignores you and plants himself at Lae'zel's side, which she rolls her eyes at.
Gods forbid you tease Astarion even a little bit to get back for the months of even worse behavior on his part.
Drama queen.
You stand between Gale and Karlach, joining the huddle around a map to decide your next course of action to reach Baldur's Gate.
"We need to reach Sharess' Caress and meet with Kith'rak Voss as soon as possible." Lae'zel insists. "Anything else is a distraction."
You glance at the multiple members of your party who have good reason to be apprehensive about entering the city. "Well, it's going to be at least another day to get there and we aren't going to walk through the night, so let's find an inn first and decide what to do once we're there."
"In theory, we could use dimension-"
You elbow Gale in the side.
"Ow!"
"We walked this far, a little more won't kill us." You say, leaning in to find any kind of settlements near your location on the map.
"Sounds like the all powerful sorcerer doesn't want to use up their magic, hm?"
You ignore Astarion and place your finger over the drawing of a little building. "This is an inn, right?"
Jaheira leans in and nods. "It may be a little expensive because that's a trade route, but yes."
Your mind wanders to all the gold your group has amassed through…certain means.
Borrowed, as you prefer to call it.
"We can afford a few rooms for one night." You decide, double checking the map before you roll it up and put it away.
Karlach groans and stretches her arms long over her head. "Gods, actual beds. Sorry in advance if you have to drag me out kicking and screaming."
You smile at her. "I'm sure I'll be in the same boat."
Her tent is right next to yours, so you pair off once the group separates to start packing. "Is your shoulder still bothering you?"
You roll it a few times and sigh. "Yep. I doubt sleeping on the ground this much is helping."
After a vine back in the shadow cursed lands latched onto your arm and nearly tore the damn thing off, your shoulder has had a persistent, twinging ache. Not to mention the scar was still raw and tender and chafed under anything you wore.
You were half tempted to get someone to cut off your sleeves entirely.
Karlach starts helping you take down your tent without needing to be asked, and you shoot her a grateful smile. "Are you nervous?" She asks, wrangling with the pliable support poles holding everything together.
"I don't know." You respond honestly. "Aren't I always nervous?"
Karlach looks at you and her expression is answer enough.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. You'd think I'd get used to it at some point." You grumble. "Sharess' Caress would be a good place to start, even if it's only so Lae'zel doesn't murder me in my sleep."
"I reckon she'd do it in broad daylight."
You snort and start folding the fabric of your tent to stow away in your pack.
"You would be dead before you could register the time." Lae'zel says as she walks past, looking down her nose at you.
Oops. You forgot her tent is on Karlach's other side.
You sheepishly smile, but the little smirk on her face lets you know she's joking.
Hopefully.
It doesn't take very long for the camp to be packed and ready, considering how often you've had to get up and go on this journey. One last quick scan to double check, and your group is setting off towards Baldur's Gate.
Many hours later, Astarion is glaring at you. Again.
"Next time, use your magic!" He hisses, bumping your shoulder with his.
He was already moody from not being able to feed on you while you recovered, and it was only made ten times worse when he tripped and chipped a nail.
The horror.
You exhale slowly through your nose and keep your eyes on the inn at the top of the hill ahead of you. You want to tell him everyone is tired, but he'd just snap back that it was your fault for not using your magic to get them there.
Still, you would take him being comfortable enough to be snappy with you over trying to charm you with bad pick up lines. It took a lot of effort on your part not to laugh when he tried to tell you he loved you. Your lack of sexual experience doesn't mean you can't see through pretty words, it seems.
Gentle light washes over you as you crest the hill, and your shoulders sag in relief. Halsin, who had taken to carrying the owlbear cub some time ago, steps aside. "I'll sleep under the stars with them, if that's alright with you." He nods towards Scratch and the cub.
"Fine by me. Sleep well, you three." You say with a wave. One less room to rent, and you doubt they would let an owlbear cub inside in the first place.
The rest of your group gathers inside, leaning against various walls and tables as they finally let themselves feel the exhaustion of the trek to get here. You drag a hand down your face and take a deep breath. You wish Astarion would handle the talking like he normally does, but something tells you he's not in the mood to do you any favors.
A stern looking woman stands behind the counter, but she's still helping someone, so you take the time to observe the inn while you wait. It's not too different from any other inn you've stayed at. The room is warmed by a fire that looks like it needs to be stoked, and there's a few patrons dotted at tables, nursing ales and wines until they'll eventually hopefully make it back to their rooms.
You don't care as long as there aren't rats here.
Though, the thought of Astarion waking up to another rat in his bed has you snickering under your breath.
"Something funny, or are you off your rocker?" The inn keeper asks, leveling you with a harsh look.
You clear your throat and step up to her counter. "A bit of both."
She doesn't pity you with even an exhale from her nose.
You motion to yourself and your group. "Any room for us?"
Her gaze is scrutinizing, and you're again sure that Astarion would be handling this better than you were.
"If you put two to a room, sure. Fare is one hundred gold."
You smile and reach for your bag to retrieve the money.
"Each."
You can practically feel the disappointment from your group at your back. As you're about to use the tadpole to beg Astarion for help, the inn keeper gives you a wry smile. "Relax, I'm pulling your leg. I'll cut it down to seventy since you look like you were dragged through the mud."
You let out a long sigh, but smile right after. "You have no idea. Thank you." You put the gold on the counter, adding a little extra as a thank you for putting up your objectively questionable troupe.
After grabbing the keys and turning back to them, you find that they've already paired up.
Mostly.
Gale and Wyll, Shadowheart and Karlach, Lae'zel and Jaheira. Which leaves…
You sigh. Again.
"I'm not happy about it either, darling."
You flick his ear and hand out the keys. Before everyone parts ways, Karlach grabs your arm and whispers to you. "Want me to leave the door unlocked?"
You wave your hand. "I'll be fine, he's just hungry."
"Yeah. That's why I'm asking."
Fair point.
You wave your hand again and bid everyone goodnight before you all trudge upstairs and into your separate rooms. Astarion is first in, and you smack square into his back when he stops short in the doorway. You huff and rub your nose, glaring at the back of his head. "Why'd you stop?"
Astarion steps aside and motions to the bed. The singular bed.
Gods damn it.
The bed is big enough to fit two people in theory, but they'd have to cozy up pretty close, so that's not happening.
Other than that the room is small and plain, but, it's clean—so you don't really care. There's a single dresser under the window and a little nightstand to the right of the bed, but the room is nearly bare otherwise. There's a woven tapestry on the wall above the bed, the colors swirling and long dulled with age. It's large enough that you wonder if it was hung to cover a hole in the wall. Perhaps something to check when you have any ounce of energy.
You kick the door shut behind you and drop your pack on the ground. "You take it."
Astarion is much too happy to plant himself down and stretch out. "Wise choice."
You bite back any snark and spread your bedroll at the foot of the bed. He's hungry and probably on edge because of how close you are to Baldur's Gate. You just have to keep reminding yourself that it isn't personal.
You hope.
You end up lying face down on your bed roll for a while, too stiff and sore to move, so Astarion steps over you to duck into the washroom and get rid of all the grime from the past few days. You're nearly asleep by the time he's done and nudging you with his foot. "Your turn. You smell like death."
"You would know, wouldn't you?" You grumble, pushing yourself up with your good arm. It comes out faster than you can stop it and you expect Astarion to bite back with something worse, but he simply shrugs in agreement. You dig your night clothes out of your bag and stumble your way to the washroom, not surprised that it's as frugal as the main room.
Over the past months of travel, you or one of the other spell casters would make do with water spells and rivers to get everyone clean (to a certain degree), so you don't waste magic making the water warm. You peel off your clothes and get to cleaning them first so they have time to dry overnight. The water runs various unpleasant shades, but at least you picked up some nice soap at the Last Light, so you wouldn't be doomed to keep smelling like sweat and dirt.
Astarion likely already has his clothes drying by the window, so you decide to use the basin edge for yours once you're done with it. The faucet is old and the sharp noise it elicits makes you wince, but soon enough the basin is slowly filling with tepid water. You step in while it fills, taking a moment to check yourself over.
Your scar is especially irritated from today, and you hiss when you probe it with your fingers. Thankfully, you're otherwise fine. Your feet are tired and you're generally grimy, but you didn't get bitten by any bugs or develop any blisters, so you were more than happy with the state of you.
The basin isn't big so it takes some twisting and creative thinking to get every part of you clean, but you finally do it. The only magic you use is to roughly dry your hair until you're sure it'll finish the job while you sleep. With everything taken care of, you re-enter the bedroom and head straight for your bedroll.
Astarion is propped up with his arms behind his head, and his gaze is on the window. You peek before you lie down, and you can faintly make out the outline of the city in the distance.
Your guess was right, then.
As much as you wanted to help, you had a sneaking suspicion things would be icy with Astarion until Cazador was dead. It made sense, obviously, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt when he was so short with you.
You hold back a sigh and fidget until you get into a position that's somewhat tolerable. You can't sleep on your back no matter how much you try, so you've taken to sleeping on your stomach with a balled up shirt as a cushion for your shoulder.
The crick neck was a pain in the ass, though.
You breathe slowly and close your eyes, trying to clear your mind so you can actually get some sleep.
You are unsuccessful.
Every time you feel yourself start to slip away, a problem on the horizon jumps to the front of your mind. Shar worshippers, Harpers, an old wizard who likes cheese, what to name the owlbear cub. Oh, and the tadpole in your brain and the impending doom it signifies.
All of it swirls in your mind before you give up with a harsh sigh. You resign to lying on your back and staring at the ceiling until you pass out or morning comes. Proper rest be damned.
You can faintly hear the crickets singing outside, and you wonder for a moment if you should go join Halsin and the animals.
"Would you get up here already? You're fidgeting like a kobold."
You blink. "Huh?"
"I can't sleep if you're moving all night long."
You peek over the footboard and narrow your eyes. You don't mention that technically he doesn't even need to sleep, lest he rescind his offer and kick you out instead. Your joints creak and pop when you stand, and when you look at Astarion again he's already moved to one side to make room for you.
Suspicion lingers in your chest, but the bed calls to you like a siren at sea, so you climb under the covers.
Good gods.
You feel your whole body practically melt. The mattress is old and the covers are rough, but right now you can't tell the difference between this and a fluffy cloud. You still have your wits about you, so you turn on your side and keep near the edge to give Astarion space.
You almost tear up when you realize the ache in your shoulder is already throbbing less.
"You cannot blame me for laughing if you tumble onto the floor." Astarion says, still sitting up against the headboard.
"Any closer and we'd be touching." You point out.
Astarion is quiet for a moment, then scoffs. "Most sane people would be jumping at that chance. Really—it's your loss, darling."
You turn over to face him. "It's not that I'm averse to touching you, Astarion. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
"True, you're always draped over Karlach or Halsin." He muses, brushing past the second half of your statement.
"Karlach hasn't had any contact for ten years and Halsin is a bear half the time."
Astarion inspects his broken nail in the little light the window provides. You study his face, silver lined by the moonlight. His lips tug into a frown, and he's expertly avoiding looking at you entirely.
You reach out and place a single finger against his forearm.
"What the hells are you doing?"
"Touching you."
Astarion flicks your hand away. "Don't pity me."
You sit up and fold your arms. "Astarion."
He scowls at you and you can see his haunches are quickly raising.
"Please tell me what's going on." You ask. "You can be mad at me all day but I can't apologize if I don't know what I did wrong."
Atarion traces the seam of the blanket with his nail. "Do I disgust you?" He asks after a moment.
You're at a loss for words, only able to furrow your brows at him. "What?"
"Don't be coy, darling. You've rejected every one of my advances where others fall over themselves to even learn my name. It doesn't make any sense, does it?"
"Astarion-"
"You could have chosen any of our companions and you chose the bear? Really? The one who'd rather sit nude on a log for the rest of his life?"
"Astarion!" You cut him off. Your shoulders are raised towards your ears and your nails are digging into your arms. "What the fuck are you talking about? I'm not with Halsin, or anybody for that matter!"
Astarion narrows his eyes. "You think I haven't seen you sneak off with him at night?"
"You mean when we get honey?"
He clearly doesn't believe you. You take a deep breath to steady yourself and realize that you're going to have to finally face the music. "Astarion. I haven't slept with you or any of our companions, because I haven't slept with anyone."
At least that got his attention. He gives you a wary look. "You can't be serious."
"I will literally let you use the tadpole to see for yourself." You insist.
He blinks slowly. "Gods, you are serious. How?"
"What do you mean 'how'? It's pretty simple."
"Oh, come off it. A vision like you doesn't make it through life without at least being propositioned!"
You shrug, your hands waving uselessly in front of you while you try to explain. "Thank you for your faith in me, but I truly haven't. It just hasn't been in the cards."
Astarion taps his finger against his lips while he looks at you. "Have you pleasured yourself?"
Heat immediately licks up the back of your neck and you fumble for your pillow, smacking it firmly against his arm. "Don't ask things like that so casually!"
Astarion catches the pillow to stop the assault, and his eyes are full of mirth when he sets it down again. "Yes, yes, curiosity killed the cat." He relaxes against the headboard, all the tension melting from his posture. "I'm glad to hear it wasn't just me, then. I was worried we'd have to find an asylum for you."
"Yeah, yeah. You can make fun of me for tonight but anything later and I will shock you." You warn him, sinking back under the covers.
"Sure you will, darling." He hums.
You should have taken Karlach up on her offer.
"Don't you need beauty sleep?" You grouse, smacking the pillow into shape.
"Not as much as you do."
You glare at him after he settles down. This wasn't a finished conversation, you were sure of that. You had a hunch he took the newfound information as an out to avoid discussing what was truly bothering him, but you weren't going to push your luck tonight.
"I'm sorry I couldn't get us here faster." You say quietly. "My magic has been…acting up."
Astarion turns his head to look at you. "How so?"
You shrug, pulling the covers up to your chin. "It feels weaker. I think it might be because we're getting closer to the nether brain, or at least that's my best guess. I didn't want to risk something going wrong."
Astarion exhales through his nose, but it's not born from frustration. "You should have said something."
"I know." You admit. "I just…don't want anyone to think I'm weak."
A pale hand reaches out to brush your cheek. You raise a brow at him.
"A stray lash." He explains. "You're never allowed to tell them I said this, but no one in our group of weirdos is stupid enough to think you're weak."
You laugh a little. "Aw, you do care!"
Astarion yanks the covers over your head. "Good night!"
"Thank you." You say when you reemerge. "Oh, before I forget, have you fed on anything recently? Besides rats on your pillow."
"A deer there, a goblin there. The usual." Astarion says, grimacing at your reminder of the rat incident.
"Feed on me, then." You say simply, getting comfortable and closing your eyes.
You can't see the fond look on Astarion's face, and you're fast asleep before you can feel the ghost of his lips against your brow.
Your neck is sore when you wake up, and you know this time it isn't from sleeping on the ground.
Astarion is already up and basking in the sun like he normally does, and he turns to you with a pleased smile. "Good morning, darling."
The lack of blood was definitely part of his attitude.
"Morning." You say, stretching your limbs out. "Is anyone else up?"
"They're all being loud downstairs." Astarion says with a dismissive wave of his hand.
You squint, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, your mind still not fully awake. "What time is it?"
"Just past noon? I haven't been keeping track."
"What?!"
"Oh, relax! You aren't the only one who slept in. Apparently Shadowheart had to break into Jaheira's room to escape Karlach's snoring." Astarion says, snickering at the image.
You flop back against the bed. Okay, you could work with a late start to the day. You could still make it to Sharess' Caress in time to meet with Voss, and then work your way into the lower city-
A finger presses the spot between your brows. "I can hear your thoughts from here. At least save the planning until after breakfast."
"I can't help it."
"Try."
You grumble and stare at the ceiling again.
Hm.
Hm.
"Owlstarion…"
"I beg your pardon?"
You sit up, your face splitting into a wide grin. "I'm a genius!"
"No, no! We are not giving the mongrel that name!"
You leap out of bed to dodge his attempts to stop you, your laughter brightly ringing around the room. "It's perfect!"
"It's horrendous!" Astarion retorts.
The two of you stand still for a moment. Your cheeks nearly hurt from smiling, and Astarion is giving you a look so dirty, it would give anyone else the chills.
He lunges for you, but you're already stepping back and yanking the door open. "Karlach! I had an epiphany!"
You hear Astarion groan as you bound down the stairs. "You are the worst!"
"You love me!" You call over your shoulder, grabbing the banister to whip around the corner and find your companions.
Astarion sighs and stoops down to grab the shoes you forgot in your haste.
"Yes, I suppose I do."














