there are days where I feel like the people I love and care about most want absolutely nothing to do with me
I understand that this way of thinking is programming from when I was younger, when I experienced ostracism or exclusion on a large scale during elementary, middle, and high school
part of me still believes that I am not worthy enough to be surrounded by people that love me because part of me still feels inadequate
I know it isn't true though, but it's important for me to have this dialogue with myself, FOR myself. I'm sharing this in hopes that someone else will feel seen and will find comfort in these words
this feeling is temporary and will go away. it sucks to be in it but you have to feel the emotion in order for the energy to move as it needs to, or else it'll get stagnant and stay built up and leave you feeling uncomfortable.
there's a pitted feeling in my chest right now because I don't feel like my boyfriend wants to spend time with me. that's what the small voice is telling me. the small voice is quiet but it's as sharp as a knife.
I know it's not true though, because I know he works early tomorrow morning and is going out of town immediately after work, and is probably preparing for the long day tomorrow.
it's so important to identify these feelings when they arise, as well as give yourself the grace, the space, and the right to feel these emotions. nothing is ever really as it seems. once you can identify the triggers, navigating the choppy waters becomes much easier.
here's to getting our sea legs.
tamo















