Hello, my name is Rock (or Rocky) (he/him) and this is my sideblog specifically for Alien Stage original characters. Here is a list of those characters! I've organized them by the Season they're relevant to :)
Season 39 - Onyx (ID: 001247) he/him trans man, escaped participant of season 39, twin brother of Aurien (@apriciticreveries) and father of Asahi, Yami, and Natsuki (also Apri's) & Dian (ID: 291341) he/they gnc man, famous pet human model and stage actor, graduated from Anakt the same year as Nyx. Nyx's partner (in private) and publicly in a fake romantic relationship with Tov (@ivanttakethis)
Season 40 - Yumi (ID: 027819), she/her & agender, participant of ALNST season 40. Selectively mute and partner of Asahi. Nausikaa (ID: 007793) she/her trans woman, former member of AREPH and current rebel. Asuka (ID: 217342), he/him gnc man, participant of ALNST season 40, younger brother of Isla (@nottoonedin) and boyfriend of Leto (@paradisedisconcert). Faisal (ID: 001011) he/him cis man, younger brother of Dian and announcer for ALNST season 40 alongside Zhuli. Dante (ID: 291353), he/any trans man, former participant of season 40 and member of AREPH, currently MIA.
Season 41 - Mori (ID: 101011), she/any trans woman, participant of season 41 of ALNST, younger sister of Nyx and Aurien, partner to Light. Memento (ID: 110101), she/her lesbian, participant of ALNST season 41, Mori's "other half" (not romantically) who is down bad for Akari (@disillusionedhope). Shizuka (ID: 815814), he/him trans man, participant in season 41, currently stuck in a time loop. Shiv (ID: ??), he/him, hunter of AREPH.
Season 42 - Kaluga, she/they trans woman, participant in ALNST season 42 and head over heels for Lin (@apple8ees). Mica, he/they enby (amab). Participant in season 42, Monica's younger sibling who is obsessed with Jean (@lookatmysillies).
Sona Season / Season 10 - Kay (Nikolai) (ID: 328863) he/him trans man and participant in ALNST Sona Season. Amalgamation of robotic and organic parts, the AI in his mechanical brain was modeled after his predecessor Katy's memories and personality. He failed to fulfill his mission of becoming her and instead became himself. Brother of Daian and boyfriend of Aoki. Trine (Petrine) (ID: 328864) she/her cis woman. Pet human clothing designer and stylist. Clone of Katy and "twin" sister of Kay. Currently dating Vant. Primary caretaker of Ris. Ris (ID: 650513) he/him, biological son of Aoki and Kay. Created by ADRE (Kay and Trine's owner) as a gift to whoever won Kay and Aoki's round. Chronologically almost 3 years old but physically closer to 12.
This will be updated over time, most likely, but it's concurrent on the date of its creation, May 7th 2025.
Even in the privacy of her room, she couldn’t bring herself to read whatever it said.
A murder confession, most likely…
She hoped there was more than that.
It was tucked in the bottom drawer of her bedside table, out of sight.
Hours had passed since Wren called.
She was likely spending time with Naz.
Dian and Nyx were quiet too.
It was around this time of the month that Nyx usually went to visit.
Cassio left earlier that evening to have dinner with Guardian Ra.
A date, even though Cassio refused to call it that.
And Tov had… the letter.
It was dark.
Her sheets were cold.
The room seemed so much emptier than usual.
She rolled over and hugged one of her pillows closer, willing sleep to come.
Trying to ignore the loneliness and the shards of envy swirling within it.
“Are you happy?”
“Happier than I’ve been in a long time.”
None of this was anyone’s fault.
Himei being dead.
Tallis being stars knows where.
There was nothing anyone could do.
Nothing she could do.
“It’s completely out of your control…”
It didn’t help the ache in her chest.
I miss her.
I miss him.
Why did they have to leave?
Tov dug her nails into the soft fabric of the pillow and forced herself to breathe.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Repeat.
Her mind wandered back to Tallis, as it often did when things were quiet.
She wondered how he was doing.
Is he somewhere safe?
Are there people helping him?
Will he try to contact me again?
Tov clutched the pillow tighter.
Does he even have a bed to sleep in?
They hadn’t shared the same bed in years, maybe more.
When they were around 11 or 12 years old, Tallis started acting a bit different.
Their sleepovers stopped about that same time.
Probably because he realized he liked you, idiot.
It was easier to notice now, looking back on everything, but at the time, Tov didn’t realize it.
She didn’t even realize her own feelings until it was almost too late.
Her only frame of reference for love was how she felt about Himei.
It was overwhelming and undeniable.
But Tov didn’t feel that way about Tallis.
It was steady, quiet, slowly blooming in the background, until one day she looked at him and her heart whispered, “Oh, there you are.”
He felt like home to her.
Only in that moment, when she held Tallis for what she thought was the last time, did everything come into focus.
And once she could put a name to that feeling — to call it love — did Tov realize she had loved Tallis for a long time.
Maybe it started when he invited her to watch him practice the harp.
Maybe even before then.
It was too much to say.
There wasn’t enough time.
But when (not if, when) they found each other again, Tov would tell him.
I’ll tell him everything.
That was all she could hope for.
Another chance.
To finally go home.
She would tell Tallis about Himei’s letter then too.
They could read it together.
The promise was enough to settle her mind for now.
As Tov drifted off to sleep, she thought to herself:
I should buy him another harp…
———
It was still dark out when Nyx called.
The communicator tucked under her pillow crackled to life.
“Tov, you there?”
The tone of his voice spurred her on.
She sat up quickly, only under the haze of twilight, and blindly reached for the device.
“I’m here.” She said. “Are you okay?”
“Solei is gone.”
…
…
…
Tov didn’t scream or cry out like she thought she would.
Her chest simply caved in on itself.
An implosion.
Their sun had finally burned itself out.
They were all colder without it.
“Was it quiet?” She asked softly. “Were they comfortable?”
“Aurien and I—” Nyx swallowed thickly, “We tried to make it as peaceful and as painless as we could.”
“Good. That’s… that’s good.”
Solei deserved all of the peace in the world and then some.
If they couldn’t have it in life — a victim of experimentation, tortured by their guardian, a fugitive on the run until the very end — then at least they could have it in death.
If there was any solace to be had, they weren’t in pain anymore.
No one could hurt them again.
They could finally stop running and rest.
“How are you feeling?” Tov asked.
“Me?” Nyx sounded confused by her question.
“Yes, you.”
He exhaled heavily, thinking, “I… I don’t know.”
Nyx sounded younger and smaller when he spoke.
Tov knew that life as a rebel had changed him greatly, even though it hadn’t been long in the grand scheme of things.
But he was still just a kid.
He was still her little brother.
“That’s alright.” She said. “It’s a lot to process.”
“I don’t even know how we’re gonna bury them.”
Tov’s heart broke, for Solei and for him.
She swallowed around the lump in her throat, “We’ll figure something out. One step at a time.”
“I can’t let you help with this, Tov.” He said. “You could get caught.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
“I’m always going to worry about you.”
“Then we’re even; and I’m helping.” She said. “We have to stick together. There aren’t many of us left.”
“How many of us are left?” He asked.
“You, me, Dian, and Cirrus.” She said.
“Aurien, Rose, Ryu, and Ji Woo.”
“Evon and Jae.” Tov added.
“Tallis… and hopefully Aegaeon.”
“Saachi?”
Nyx fell silent.
Tov’s heart clenched.
“Saachi didn’t make it off the stage, Tov.” He said, thin and quiet.
She pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes, rejecting the tears before the could start, “Fuck.”
It shouldn’t have been a surprise.
When Saachi was shot, when her body fell limp in Aegaeon arms as she pulled them off stage, Tov knew.
She had tried to delude herself into thinking that by some miracle Saachi and Aegaeon were alive and well and together.
But deep down, she knew.
Another illusion of hope shattered.
Their friends that died on stage would at least have a memorial disc displaying their names.
Saachi would be lucky to get an unmarked grave.
“What about Vera?” She asked, desperate to move on, to avoid the hurt.
“She left.” Nyx said.
Tov sat up straighter, “What? What do you mean she left? Where did she go?”
“I don’t know.”
She could hear the strain in his voice.
“I looked for a while, but I couldn’t find any trace of her.” He said. “I don’t think she wants to be found.”
Tov wanted to apologize.
She wanted to tell him that this wasn’t his fault.
It’s completely out of your control.
The words stuck in her throat.
“So that’s 10, possibly 11.” Nyx said.
“It feels like less.” She murmured.
“It does… It really does.”
They both fell quiet, listening to each other breathe.
It meant they were still alive.
“Do you want to come by?” Tov asked.
“Not tonight. I can’t leave them alone.”
Can’t leave Aurien alone, goes unsaid.
Tov couldn’t imagine the grief she must be feeling right now.
Himei’s death was quick.
Solei’s was anything but.
“There’s no rush. Just… don’t become a stranger. Please.”
I can’t lose anyone else.
“I won’t. I promise.” Nyx said. “I just need some time.”
“I know.”
“It’s late. Try to get some rest. I’ll call you soon.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” She said.
Nyx’s exhale sounded a bit like a laugh, “I know you will. Goodnight, Tov.”
“Goodnight.”
“Love you.”
Tov didn’t hesitate.
“I love you too.”
———
The days after Solei’s death all melted together.
Sunrises and sunsets came and went.
The world carried on as if nothing had happened.
Tov didn’t leave the house.
Night terrors of her dead classmates plagued her sleep.
Her daily routine became a struggle to get through.
She hadn’t seen the night sky in nearly a week.
The stars seemed further away now.
Praying to them felt futile.
She could tell Cassio knew something was wrong, but they never pushed her for an answer.
Tov didn’t know what to tell them if they asked.
Cassio had set out a light breakfast for the two of them in the kitchen.
Tov ate what she could manage and pushed the rest around her plate.
“I’m going into the studio later.” They said. “Would you like to come along?”
“I think I’ll just stay home today.” Tov said.
Cassio’s expression was pinched with concern.
She knew what was coming next.
“Tov, are you—”
A knock at the door interrupted their conversation.
With one final worried glance at her, Cassio excused themself from the table.
Tov listened for the creak of the front door opening.
“Agent Irin. Back so soon?”
“I’m afraid so.” Irin said.
Not this again…
The first time, she was cautious.
The second time, she was a bit curious.
Now she was just tired.
“Tov! Agent Irin is here for you.”
She sighed, resigned to her fate, and pushed herself away from the table.
Whatever the agency had planned for her couldn’t be worse than what she was dealing with now.
Let’s get it over with.
———
Agent Irin kept glancing over at Tov as they made their way to the Research Department.
She pretended not to notice.
Maybe he won’t ask.
He cleared his throat, “Tov, if I may…”
Never mind.
She nodded lightly.
“Are you feeling okay?” He asked. “You seem different than usual.”
“I’m just tired.” Tov said.
Whether Irin truly believed her or not wasn’t her problem.
“I’ve been informed that you will be sedated for this test, so you won’t need to do much physical exertion.”
Maybe I can actually get some sleep.
A long, dreamless sleep.
The thought sounded nice.
Lyra met them at the door to the testing room, waving in greeting.
“Hi Tov! Nice to see you again.”
“You too.” Tov said with a nod.
Lyra’s expression shifted slightly, head tilted, dark eyes keen.
She probably sensed something was off with her the same way Irin did.
Tov didn’t like it.
“Zair’s busy today, so it’ll just be us two while we get set up.” Lyra nodded to Agent Irin. “Dr. Oxran is waiting for you in the observation room.”
Who’s Dr. Oxran?
Irin frowned, “Dr. Yakun isn’t here yet?”
“Something came up with one of her other research projects.” She said.
Agent Irin hesitated for just a moment, before sighing and walking toward the door next to them.
“Come on in.” Lyra tapped a white keycard against the scanner next to the door and gestured for Tov to follow her.
The testing chamber was much smaller this time, about the size of Cassio’s powder room.
An exam chair sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by machines to monitor her vitals.
It reminded Tov of an operation room at a hospital.
She sat in a chair just like the one in front of her when Cassio had her teeth dated.
The doctor suggested shaving down or placing caps on Tov’s canines to prevent any future biting incidents, but Cassio had adamantly refused.
They never told her why.
She never asked.
“Tov?” Lyra called. “Are you alright?”
The concern in her voice cut through the fog in Tov’s mind.
“I’m fine.” She said. “Just tired.”
Lyra’s gaze lingered, but she pushed ahead anyway.
“Alright then. Have a seat.” She tapped the back of the exam chair.
Tov did as she was told and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling.
There was a one-way mirror on the wall to her right.
More than likely, she was already being watched by Agent Irin and Dr. Oxran.
She wondered if Dr. Oxran was anything like Dr. Yakun.
“For this test, you’ll be sedated and placed in a simulation of a stage performance.” Lyra said. “Your body suit will track your vitals as usual, and we’ll collect some blood samples.”
Easy enough…
“I’ll also place small electrodes on your scalp to monitor your brain activity during the simulation.”
“And my hair?” Tov asked.
Lyra smiled, understanding, “I can work around it, don’t worry.”
Tov nodded and closed her eyes, and Lyra got to work.
One intravenous line in the back of her hand to inject the sedative.
Another line to draw blood.
A nasal cannula to deliver supplemental oxygen.
Lyra began parting her braids to place the electrodes on her scalp.
Segyein researchers entered the room, speaking to one another in languages Tov couldn’t understand.
The chatter and beeps of the machines sounded further and further away as the sedative took hold of her.
A gentle cradle, rather than a vice grip.
It felt nice.
Peaceful.
The last thing she heard before slipping under was Lyra’s calm voice.
“Rest easy, Tov.”
————————————————————
So how are we all feeling? 😁 <- (knows I am the cause of this suffering)
Though to be fair, Solei meant so much to Tov. It’s only right that their death would have a big impact on her.
But it’s a lot for her to deal with on top of everything else.
The only things keeping her going are the hope of finding Tallis and her love for Nyx and Dian.
Even if she’s a bit envious of Nyx and Dian’s relationship because they’re still together, despite their circumstances (she would never tell them this btw).
Don’t worry, things will get better soon!
Himei, Tallis, and Naz belong to @lookatmysillies
Nyx and Dian belong to @imperfectnothing
Solei belongs to @solei-eclipse
Aurien belongs to @apriciticreveries
Cirrus belongs to @yunoftheclouds
Ryu, Ji Woo, and Saachi belong to @starry-skiez
Rose belongs to @rosedeleca
Evon and Jae belong to @kofeedoggo
Aegaeon belongs to @paradisedisconcert (tumblr won’t let me tag but I still think about Aegaeon trust 🙏)
Wren grabbed Naz’s arm and pulled her back into the dressing room.
“Wren, wait—”
“Sit down.” She said, guiding Naz over to the nearest chair and releasing her.
Wren tried to keep the edge out of her voice, but her mind was a mess.
It was harder to keep the mask from slipping.
I’m acting like a soldier again.
She expected Naz to push back, to get angry and raise her voice and argue.
But when Wren turned to face her, Naz was sitting in the chair, silent.
It was odd seeing her so… subdued.
Her usual fire was all but gone.
She wouldn’t even look at her.
Wren couldn’t look away.
Her emotions were a tangle of webs in her chest.
Anger. Betrayal. Fear.
It had been a long time since Wren was afraid of anything.
But she was afraid of what Naz would say, and what it would mean for the future of their relationship.
Maybe Naz was afraid too.
Wren took a deep breath, “What just happened?”
Naz glanced up at her for a moment, before looking away again. “We were arguing.”
“About what?”
She hesitated, “…Season 39.”
Wren held in a sigh.
She knew something like this would happen.
Naz was still raw about losing Akane, and in her eyes Tov was the reason she was gone.
It wasn’t Tov’s fault, but emotions were messy like that.
Wren hadn’t wanted them to meet any time soon.
If she’d known Tov was coming to the studio, she wouldn’t have brought Naz.
“What did you argue about exactly?”
“I wanted her to apologize for what happened with Akane.” Naz said quietly.
“And she didn’t?”
“Tov said I wouldn’t accept it even if she did apologize.”
“And you wouldn’t have.”
It was a statement, not a question.
Wren had known her for too long and too well to even think she would accept any pity, asked for or not.
Naz didn’t correct her.
“I said some personal stuff, and she said some personal stuff back, and then she brought up you—” Naz stops herself short, clamping her mouth shut.
Brought up what?
What rattled you so badly?
She waited for Naz to continue.
Only silence followed.
Whatever Tov said, it was clear that Naz wasn’t going to share.
“How did the letter come up?” Wren asked, pressing ahead.
“She said Akane wasn’t the person I thought she was, and I needed to make peace with that.” Naz said.
Wren drew in a sharp breath, surprised by the sting Tov was capable of.
But she had said much worse to other people in the past.
It seemed to run in the family.
“That’s when I brought up the letter, and Himei doing the same thing to Tov. She told Tov that she—”
“Stop.” Wren held her hand up. “I don’t want to know what Himei said.”
“You… don’t?”
“No, I don’t.” She said. “That letter was meant for Tov. I shouldn’t know what it says, and you shouldn’t either.”
Naz’s expression turned painful, “You’re right. I fucked up.”
At least she admits it…
Wren crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, “It sounds like you both gave as good as you got.” She said. “But you shouldn’t have started the fight. Tov is hurting over this too.”
“I know that now.” Naz closed her eyes, “The look on her face when she told you not to call her was…”
Awful.
So awful it made Wren’s chest ache.
She hadn’t felt guilt like that in years.
“Why did you have the letter? Why did you go through my stuff?” Wren asked.
“It’s hard to explain—”
“Do you not trust me?”
Naz’s eyes shot open and she reached out for Wren, like she was desperate for her to understand, “No, it’s not that!”
She frowned, “Then what is it?”
“I thought Asuka was cheating on Leto with you.” Naz said quickly.
Wren froze as the words registered, lips parted, too stunned to speak.
…What?
“I went through your bag after you went to sleep to look for proof.”
What the fuck?
“What the fuck?”
Naz looked up at her, hesitant, “So it’s true?”
“Holy fuck Naz. No, it’s not true!” Wren shouted.
“But you went to BLINK together. You were gone the whole night.”
“I was comforting him.” Wren said.
“What about all that stuff you said about not being able to get what you want? Not wanting to mess up what you already have?” Naz asked. “That wasn’t about him?”
Wren ran her hands through her braids and tugged. “No! That wasn’t about Asuka. I don’t even like guys!”
Naz blinked, confused, “You don’t?”
Wren wanted to scream.
She’s going to make me confess out of pure exasperation.
“I like girls. I’ve only ever liked girls. I’ve never desired a man in my life!”
“Oh…”
Wren’s involuntary chuckle bordered on maniacal.
This is crazy. I’m going fucking crazy.
“So it’s Monica, then?” Naz asked. “You went to BLINK with her too.”
“It’s not Monica.”
“Is it Isla?”
“It’s not Isla.”
“Then who is it?”
“Why do you care?”
“Because I want it to be me.”
Naz’s confession echoed in Wren’s mind, knocking all of the air out of her lungs.
Neither of them spoke.
The dressing room felt so much smaller than when they came in earlier.
Wren had to force herself to breathe.
“What?”
Naz rubbed the back of her neck, her cheeks bright red, “Don’t make me say it again.” She mumbled.
No.
No no no. Don’t back out now.
Wren clenched her fists.
“Say it.” She ordered, voice shaking, “I need to hear you say it.”
I need to know this is real.
“Alright, alright. Fine.” Naz sighed, still not meeting her eyes. “I like you. A lot.” She cleared her throat, “Maybe even…”
“Love me?” Wren’s voice caught at the end, an octave higher than normal.
The pressure behind her eyes kept building.
“Yeah, something like— what the fuck why are you crying?”
Wren sucked in a sharp breath around the lump in her throat. “I am?”
“You can’t tell?” Naz tsked, leaning forward to messily wipe the tears off of her cheeks.
Wren surrendered as soon as her warm hands touched her face.
She could feel callouses on her palms.
Has Naz ever been this gentle before?
“I don’t know why you’re crying.” Naz said. “I’m the one who got rejected.”
“Rejected?” Wren repeated.
“Well yeah, it’s clearly not me so—”
Naz tried to pull her hands away from Wren’s face, but Wren took hold of her wrists, keeping her there.
“It is you.” She said, loud and forceful.
She wasn’t going to let Naz doubt her or her feelings by being soft or quiet.
That’s not who she was.
That’s not who Naz was either.
Wren held her breath and kept her gaze steady.
I love you.
She watched as the realization of her confession slowly set in.
I love you.
Naz’s red eyes turned glassy.
I love you.
“Oh.” She said, her voice no louder than a whisper. “It’s me?”
“Yeah.” Wren smiled, “It’s you.”
Naz held her gaze for another moment, before her expression crumbled.
“Fuck, I’m so stupid.”
Wren laughed, her chest light, “For which part? Going through my stuff, or thinking I was in love with Asuka?”
“All of it.” She grumbled.
Wren held back another laugh, pulling Naz into an embrace instead.
She looped her arms around Naz’s shoulders and rested her head against the slope of her neck.
Naz was warm.
Very warm.
And she smelled like cherry candy.
Wren’s favorite flavor.
“We can be stupid together then.” She murmured.
Naz wrapped her arms around Wren’s waist and pulled her closer.
Her heart was racing a mile a minute.
She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs and burst into an incandescent shimmer of light.
It was probably illegal to feel this happy.
Naz loves me.
She knows I love her.
We’re in love with each other.
Holy fuck I might die.
“Don’t die, idiot.” Naz muttered, tightening her grip.
Wren swooned and squeezed her back.
“I won’t. I promise.”
———
Wren called.
Even though Tov explicitly told her not to, she called.
And called.
And called.
And called.
Paced the length of the hotel room back and forth like a wild wagyein in cage far too small.
Flooded Tov’s voicemail until the inbox was full.
The first went something like: “Hey, it’s me. I know you said not to call but I’m worried about you. Let me know when you get this.”
The last was: “Give me a call back or send me a message — even if it’s to tell me to fuck off. I just want to make sure you’re… safe.”
“I don’t think she’s gonna pick up.” Naz said from their bed.
The guilt of what she had done to Tov was setting in.
She looked nothing short of dejected.
Wren sighed, her finger hovering over the redial button on her phone screen.
She’d always been stubborn.
One more time.
Just one more time.
“I’m gonna try one more time.” She said. “Then I’ll stop.”
Naz sighed but didn’t say anything else.
Wren pressed redial and stepped back into the bathroom, closing the door to listen as the phone rang.
And rang.
And rang.
And rang.
“Wren.”
Relief washed over Wren so quickly she laughed, “Oh thank fuck you answered.”
“My phone wouldn’t stop ringing.”
“Sorry.” She said, not sounding sorry in the slightest. “Are you… okay?”
Stupid fucking question, of course she isn’t okay.
“As okay as I can be.” Tov said.
It was hard to gauge how her sister was feeling over the phone.
Tov could mask emotion in her voice almost flawlessly when she wanted to.
“I’m sorry, Tov.” Wren said, sincere this time. “I shouldn’t have kept Himei’s letter from you. I found it in your dorm room after your heart attack, but I didn’t tell you about it because you were so—”
“Fragile?”
She closed her eyes and sighed, “I was trying to protect you.”
That was at the heart of everything Wren did — protecting the people she cared about.
“I didn’t want you to get hurt anymore than you already were.” She said. “But I did a pretty shit job at that part huh?”
“You could say that.”
Ouch.
“And I’m sorry about Naz, too. Using the letter from Himei against you was fucked up. I think she realizes that now.”
“It’s fine.” Tov said. “I was going to find out sooner or later.”
Wren frowned, “Still…”
“The only way I’ll accept the apology is if it comes directly from Naz.”
Well fuck.
Naz was just as stubborn as her, if not more so.
Even though Wren could tell that Naz regretted what she said, getting her to apologize for anything was like pulling teeth.
Tov probably knew that too.
“I’ll tell her.” She said.
“Does that mean you two worked everything out?”
Wren sputtered, “H-How did you—”
“When you were angry with Naz, she looked terrified.” Tov said. “It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together.”
Wren pressed her hand to her cheek, finding it already warmer than normal.
“We did.”
“Are you happy?” Tov asked.
A rush of emotions welled up in Wren’s throat. Love rose to the top.
“I am.” She said, smiling softly. “Happier than I’ve been in a long time.”
“Then that’s all that matters. You can tell me more about it later.” Tov said.
Wren’s smile fell.
“Are you sure?” She asked. “I’m liable to talk about Naz for hours. Do you really want to hear all of that? You know, after Himei… and Tallis too.”
“Tallis isn’t dead.”
“…”
“…”
“Tov, what the fuck?!”
“Lower your voice.”
“Fine!” Wren lowered her voice to a whisper, “Tov, what the fuck?!”
Tov simply huffed.
She could tell her sister was rolling her eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“There was never a good time.”
Wren couldn’t argue with that.
The end of Season 39 had been an absolute clusterfuck.
There really wasn’t a good time to have that conversation.
“So what, did he call you up like ‘hey Tov I’m actually not dead, isn’t that great?’”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
This whole situation is ridiculous.
“How do you know then?”
“He sent me a song.” She said.
“A song?”
“Yes.”
That’s fucking ridiculous.
Wren pinched the bridge of her nose, holding in a sigh, “And you know that it’s him? Like, one hundred percent you know it’s him?”
“He’s the only person it could be.”
“Elaborate.”
“Tallis wrote the song for me as a gift.” She said. “We’re the only two people who know it. He said he didn’t need to write it down because he’d never forget.”
“Damn, that’s romantic as fuck.”
Tov sighed, “Yeah, I’m realizing that.”
Wren snorted, incredulous, “It took you until now to realize?”
“Don’t throw stones in a glass house.”
She got me there.
“How long have you known?”
“Since right before Round 26.”
So that’s where the fire in Tov’s eyes had come from.
She knew that someone she loved so dearly was still out there.
He’s the reason she wanted to fight again.
I guess I owe you one, Tallis.
“When was the last time you heard from him?”
“Since right before Round 26.” Tov said again, flatter this time.
Wren was just starting to learn that the tone in her sister’s voice was one of frustration.
“That’s not a lot to work with.” She said.
“It’s nothing to work with. There’s nothing I can do.”
Wren tapped her finger against the bathroom counter.
Maybe you can’t, but I could.
She kept the thought to herself, at least for the moment.
“So what now?”
“I… I don’t know.” Tov whispered.
She had never heard Tov so unsure of herself.
I need to find this guy and fast.
“Just hang in there, alright? If Tallis is reaching out then he’s trying to find his way back to you.”
“I know.” Tov sounded a little more confident in her answer this time.
“Good. Keep going.”
Tov sighed, long and weary.
“I’m trying.” She said. “Goodnight.”
“Night.”
She waited until Tov hung up, set her phone on the counter, and threw open the bathroom door, “Naz!”
Naz looked up immediately, “Huh?”
Wren rushed over to her girlfriend — wow, she never thought she’d get to call Naz that — and tackled her on the bed, grinning.
“Remember that guy from Round 7? The one with green eyes and freckles.”
“Uh, maybe?”
“Okay great, so his name is Tallis and my sister is in love with him—”
“I thought she loved Himei?”
Wren waved Naz’s confusion off, “Tov has two hands.” She said. “But never mind any of that. Tallis is still alive.”
“How? We saw him get shot. Twice.”
“Seems like neither of the shots were fatal.” She shrugged. “I don’t know how he managed to escape the complex, but he’s out there somewhere, and he reached out to Tov.”
“That’s nice and all, but what does it have to do with me making things right with Tov?”
Wren grabbed Naz’s hands and squeezed, determined to see her plan through, “We’re going to find him.”
————————————————————
CHAT WE FINALLY HAVE CANON YURI!!! NAZWREN IS REAL!!!!!!
Originally Wren and Naz’s conversation and confession was going to be more explosive, given their personalities.
But I think this softer, quieter version shows that they’re able to be vulnerable and gentle (or at least as gentle as they can be) with each other.
Something something, Wren cries when she feels loved, something something…
my alnst oc secret santa gift for the very cool @chibassy of their lovely ocs, Laena and Effie! sorry for how. . . nuclear the colors are, that wasn't originally my intention, i just wanted them to glow, but i thought it looked good anyways and so i ran with it. i was originally inspired by the work written about Laena and Effie's first meeting and how they were both insistent on protecting/saving one another, so Effie is protectively curled around Laena but out of the two of them, Laena is the one with real influence, which makes for a tasty dynamic!
From me, to APRI <3333333 @apriciticreveries. had a lot of fun writing this, my darling friend!!! I really hope you like it and it meets expectations. I was feeling nostalgic for Cas and Aurien, so I chose to put their relationship at the center of this little story. Let it never be forgotten how much Cas loves his baby sis.
NOTE: To avoid confusion, this is a fusion of canon and modern AU. Canon ALNST universe is in italics while modern AU is in normal font. For anyone who read my Yaelbeth short story for Nad’s birthday, it’s similar to that in the sense that the modern AU is interspersed much like the modern AU in Wiege. I’ve really enjoyed this format of honoring canon while also giving the OCs a happy other life 🤧 here we go!
~
Going from being the only child of a single mother to the oldest of three kids was… a lot.
It was only a few weeks after Castor’s sixth birthday that his mom tiptoed into his room late at night and told him to grab his favorite set of clothes and pajamas, his favorite toy, and a blanket before he followed her confusedly out through the back door of their tiny house and through the backyard gate, then down the street where one of her work friends was waiting to pick them up. At the time, he didn’t know why they didn’t just wait until morning to leave, leave through the front door, or take their own car, but when he got older he looked back on it and knew. He knew.
Not quite a whole year passed by the time his mother remarried, having divorced Cas’s father and started seeing a polished guy from uptown with fancy suits and shiny sports cars. She said he worked at a studio where he helped make music. Or something. He didn’t care enough about the dude to pay much attention. Suspicion hounded him; having a crappy excuse for a father isn’t something that leaves you quickly. The best way he could describe it was a haunting. His father wasn’t dead, but he haunted him. Haunted his perception of what family was—what it could be, should be.
When Castor was seven and his mom had her first baby with his new stepdad, he was petrified.
Whenever he was left alone with Onyx, he was afraid. Afraid he would hurt this—tiny, fragile thing. Afraid his eyes matched his father’s because really, he was no better than him. Maybe he was worse.
It was probably a blessing that Nyxie grew up to be so stubborn and independent. He learned to crawl and walk and talk sooner than Castor or any toddler Castor ever knew did. Maybe somewhere deep down, he knew that he had to grow up quick because his parents were always leaving their kids in a too-big house for trips and parties and his only substitute was a little redheaded kid with messy hair that was always a few inches too long who was too nervous to carry him in case he dropped him; a kid who wasn’t even at the starting end of puberty yet.
Nyx had his father’s slate gray eyes. He didn’t look at all like Castor, despite sharing their common mother’s blood. Nah. They didn’t look a thing alike. For that reason, it was easier not to think too hard about those scary implications of family. For a while, he could just think: this is my stepfather’s kid. This is my stepfather’s kid whom I take care of.
But around three years after Nyx came Aurien.
And it wasn’t that simple with Aurien.
It was Greeting Day.
Castor remembered when he first arrived at Anakt Garden with the other members of the 38th class. The 37th class greeted them on the second day, after those of them with belongings had moved their things in and they’d met their bunkmates with awkward waves. Back then, Castor was a wreck. A ruin of a child. He couldn’t speak to anyone; couldn’t look anyone in the eye, let alone an older child. Some of the members of the 37th class laughed at his behavior. Others tried to cheer him up and grimaced when they were met with an unresponsive husk of a human. Ultimately, he was skipped over by as many kids as could feasibly avoid him.
Now he was in the place of those kids up in 37. Because this time, the 38th class, grown taller and less naïve since their arrival years ago, was greeting the newest arrivals to Anakt Garden: the kids of the 39th class.
The night before, Kyo complained to Castor in the safety of their room that he was decidedly not looking forward to a “kiddie meet-and-greet.”
“Really, what are we even supposed to say?” Kyo had scoffed as he plucked loose threads from his blanket. “Like, ‘Hey, kids! Congratulations on your guardians signing your death warrant!’ Yeah, no thanks.”
“That’s not true,” Castor muttered, growing increasingly upset with Kyo’s pessimism. “One of them is going to win, and then they get to do whatever they want. Same as us. We could win.”
“First off, sorry that I’m not excited about the prospect of one little kid out of tens of them surviving.” Kyo glared at him. “And second, don’t be stupid. Seriously, Castor. Neither of us is going to win out of all these people. Even if one of us did—if—what’s worth living for if all your friends are dead?” He sat up and swung his legs to hang over the side of his bed so he faced Castor. “Would you really want to win if it meant I died? Ollie? Isaiah?”
“Maybe you’re just not cut out to win!” Castor snapped, sitting up in bed to glare right back at him.
Kyo’s face turned stony.
Castor almost took it back, but before he could, Kyo reached for the light between their beds and turned it out.
“Goodnight,” Kyo said coldly.
It was the first big fight they’d ever had.
Even though they hadn’t said a word to each other today, Castor still glanced over to watch Kyo as a line of kids—God, tiny, tiny kids, he swore he wasn’t that small when he was that age—lined up against the wall of the cafeteria where the tables were pushed against one wall to make room for Greeting Day. One by one, the members of the 38th class went silent as the kids of the 39th class drew to a halt and stared back at them.
Kyo was pale. He looked like he might be sick.
Next to Castor, though, Ollie made a high-pitched cooing noise like this was the cutest thing in the entire world. (As if they weren’t just a few years older.)
Castor zeroed in on the smallest two girls at the back of the line. The shortest of the two had her fingers entangled with the girl in front of her with long black hair and a boisterous laugh. The one behind the shortest girl was alone. Silent.
Immediately, Castor’s heart ached.
Maybe it’s why he chose to introduce himself to this one first.
The first thing Castor noticed about Aurien when she was brought home from the hospital was her eyes. Big, brown eyes, like the eyes on a speckled yearling deer. They took Castor aback, because he expected slate-gray eyes like his stepfather. Like Nyx.
These eyes were his mother’s, though.
The mother they indisputably shared.
That was when he really woke up to the reality of it: that he wasn’t just babysitting these kids, or taking care of his mother’s husband’s kids as a favor. He wasn’t detached from them, safely untethered.
They were his blood.
His half-siblings—the term he finally reckoned with as he stared into Aurien’s doe eyes for the first time, and she seemed to stare back.
Siblings, is what it was when you took one syllable off of the front.
Just siblings.
Despite the name, no half measures.
Only when he realized that did something in his brain click, and when he held Aurien in his arms for the first time, he thought with misty eyes: You’re mine. You’re just as much my kid as you are my mother’s and my stepfather’s.
I would die for you, do you understand?
In some other life I have died for you.
At the end of the line, Castor stood before the little girl flattening herself against the wall as though to make herself invisible. He towered over her in height. She had to crane her neck to even look at him, and in her wide, dark eyes, darker and deeper than the void of outer space, he saw fear.
He saw a child who looked a lot like him, not in appearance, but in experience. Pain.
To make himself smaller, he knelt before her, hoping his expression conveyed nothing but the earnest desire to help and know.
“Hey,” he said softly—soft as he could. “Sorry for all the commotion. It’s pretty crowded and loud right now. When I had my Greeting Day with the class above me—I hated it. I hated it a lot.”
The girl blinked at him from behind round glasses. Still she said nothing.
“My name is Castor, or just Cas is fine.” He cleared his throat and, making a decision, he shuffled so he sat with his legs criss-crossed, lowering himself even more. “Yeah, when I first got here, I was real bad at talking to people. Everyone just scared me. They all seemed like they knew what they were doing, all the time, and I was just… there. Like I missed some big lesson everyone else got. It sucked.”
Trying for a reassuring smile, he said, “It’s not that I’m not scared anymore. I’m still scared of… basically everyone, I guess? What they think of me. Or what they could do to hurt me if they wanted to. But now I try to think of it like, maybe everyone else is scared too, you know? Or maybe at least someone is. And if I treat that person how I wish others had treated me sometimes, maybe they’ll feel a little braver and a little less alone here. I had one person do that for me.”
“Do you see the boy with the dark hair over there by that classmate of yours, with the gray and black hair?” The girl followed where Castor pointed his index finger. She pushed her glasses up with her second knuckle and licked her lips like she was in deep thought; then nodded. “Okay, cool. That’s Kyo. He’s the first person who made me feel brave.” For a brief moment, he felt a stinging pang of guilt for their fight. “He’s a really good friend. I try to be a good friend too—sometimes I don’t think I’m too good at it, though.”
He turned his head back to the girl just in time to see her give the slightest shake of her head. He felt his eyebrows shoot up—he hadn’t expected her to respond to him in any way. “What?”
She pressed her lips into a thin line, chewed on her lower lip and fiddled with the hem of her uniform anxiously—then shook her head again. “You,” she said quietly. “Not a bad friend.”
Almost imperceptibly, the girl’s face fell, her tentative sort of small smile collapsing into a frown. Realizing his mistake, Castor quickly rambled, “Not that… I mean, you can know me. If you want. I sure would like to get to know you.”
Saved it. Her eyes shone with renewed hope.
Castor grinned. “So, um, since you know my name, can I ask what yours is?” He held a hand out, palm up, in encouragement. To show he had kind intentions.
The girl raised her hand uncertainly. Her fingers twitched, her palm hovered over his for a moment, and then she touched just her fingertips to the pads of his fingers. Good enough. That was already more than Castor had ever been able to get himself to do on his Greeting Day.
“Aurien,” the girl said softly.
Aurien.
“Fits you,” Castor said, earning a short, nervous laugh.
Feeling the telltale prickle at the back of his neck of eyes watching him, he turned his head to look back at the line of other kids.
Kyo was staring at him where he was chatting with that same kid with the gray and black hair. He watched Castor with… fondness, maybe, or admiration—Castor hoped that was what it was—when he saw Aurien’s smaller hand in Castor’s.
Castor shifted his gaze to the kid Kyo chose to introduce himself to and smiled when he saw the moon eyes the kid was making at Kyo.
He understood that feeling.
The corner of Kyo’s mouth twitched upwards when Castor looked back at him, and Castor smiled at him.
Right now, Castor didn’t see a group of kids destined to be narrowed down to one lone winner. He could see now that Kyo didn’t see them like that either.
They just saw kids.
And years later, when Castor was sixteen and had the first child of his own, subsequently forced to give her up, he returned to Anakt Garden and sobbed with his head on Kyo’s lap, convulsing with the force of his cries, and wailed, “Auri and Nyx are mine, not that one. They’re mine, not—I love Auri and Nyx, I want Auri and Nyx!”
He helped teach Aurien how to walk and talk.
He taught her the alphabet with her sitting on his legs and Nyx hanging over his shoulder, arms resting on his head. He made her favorite soup and dessert on the nights when his mom and her husband were away and read her fantasy books to lull her to sleep at bedtime. (Nyx preferred sci-fi, but he didn’t complain too much. Not when it made their little sister happy.)
On weekends, Castor and Nyx walked down to the playground with Auri between them, holding both of their hands. Castor pushed them both on the swings. If he occasionally got clobbered by dirty sneakers in the teeth due to an over ambitious jump by Nyx, it was still worth it. If Aurien dripped chocolate chip ice cream in his new car the first time he took them for a ride when he turned sixteen, it was still worth it. …Mostly. Admittedly he did rank the car above his dental health in terms of importance.
But of course Aurien was still ranked above the car.
Sometimes they pitched a tent in the backyard and slept out beneath the stars and moon, and as Castor lay in the middle of a doggy pile of siblings with Auri and Nyx half on top of him (and Kyo, who was sleeping over, on Nyx’s other side), he reflected as he stared up at the shining full moon:
This is the life he never thought he could have when he was still living with his bio father.
It’s the life he stopped thinking he deserved a chance at, after a while.
But what did he have now?
The most amazing boyfriend in the whole universe, a baby brother who poked fun at him at every chance and pretended like he didn’t steal his clothes—
—and a baby sister who changed everything for him.
Whose eyes he looked into and realized that he didn’t even have to deserve this kid.
She deserved to have him in her life.
At her side.
Protecting her, making her laugh, trying to repay every bit of purpose she’s given him simply by existing.
Stretching his legs out tiredly, he smiled sleepily at the moon one final time for the night before closing his eyes and turned his head to rest his forehead against Aurien’s temple.
“Love you, sissy,” Castor murmured. He reached a hand behind him to gently squeeze Nyx’s knee. “Love you, bubba.”
Castor almost dozed off before a dry voice came close to his ear and said, “What about me, bubba?”
At least the effort of hitting Kyo in the throat didn’t wake up the kids.
~
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO THE LOVELY APRI!!! And also to anyone else who read this 🙏 Other OCs outside of my own and Apri’s in this short fic include @rockwgooglyeyes’s Nyx, mentions of Castor and Kyo’s S38 friends, @apple8ees’s Ollie and @lulling-riot’s Isaiah, and though she’s not mentioned by name since Cas doesn’t know her yet when she’s here, @ivanttakethis’s Tov was the other small girl he noticed along with Auri at the end of the line.
once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
happy birthday, Apri (@apriciticreveries)!! so happy and blessed to have you as one of my friends <3 love you so much and I hope you have an amazing birthday
"Isla? Are you awake?" A small voice whispered through the pitch black.
Isla turned over in bed, towards the voice. She pried her heavy eyelids open, taking a moment to adjust to the darkness. Her sleepy gaze made out the small silhouette of her brother, the orange light of his collar slightly illuminating his face. His brown eyes were wide with childish worry.
"Lala?" Asuka called out again.
"Hmm? What is it, 'Suka?" Isla answered, stifling a yawn. "Is everything okay?"
Her little brother's gaze flickered to the floor, his hands nervously fidgeting with his nightshirt. "It's..." His voice trailed off, suddenly shy.
Isla thought for a moment, coming to a quick conclusion.
"Another nightmare?" she guessed, her brother confirming the answer with a silent nod.
The girl frowned. "Were the bigger kids teasing you again? Telling you stories?" Another nod from her brother. If it wasn't so dark, Isla was sure his cheeks would have been red with clear embarrassment.
Isla sighed in annoyance, though not towards Asuka. The other kids in the adoption centre seemed to take so much pleasure in toying with her brother, telling him tall tales about terrifying monsters and the like. It irritated Isla to no end, even moreso whenever she tried to intervene, with no avail.
The little boy spoke up, "can I... sleep in your bed tonight, Lala?"
This had become an almost nightly routine for the siblings: her brother would wake up in the middle of the night, afraid, and come running to Isla for comfort, and she would never turn him away. The girl had made Asuka's safety her first priority, even if the danger was only in his head.
Isla gave her brother a gentle smile, before moving to one side of the bed, making room for her brother to climb in. She threw the blanket over the two of them, making sure to give Asuka the majority. The blanket was a bit small for two people, but Isla didn't mind the slight chill.
Isla turned her body towards Asuka, brushing loose strands of hair out of his eyes. "Do you want to tell me about it?" she asked in a hushed tone, acutely aware of the other sleeping children around them. The boy furrowed his eyebrows, trying to recall the nightmare.
"I.. I was in a dark hallway, and.. and I was running from this big thing with three- no, four- glowing red eyes and really sharp teeth.. and it kept chasing me for ages.. but then I- I tripped at some point and- and then it-" Asuka sniffled, huddling closer to his sister, which was her cue to wrap her arms around him, shielding him.
Isla gently hushed him, "shh, it's okay, Susu, I'm here, alright?" She cupped his face reassuringly, looking into his eyes. "You know it wasn't real, right? None of those monsters are real."
Asuka's round eyes glistened. "They felt real," he murmured.
Isla nodded in understanding. "I know, it can feel like that sometimes. But they can't really get you, and they won't hurt you."
The boy looked up at her. "Promise?" He whispered.
"I promise," Isla confirmed. "Besides, if they were real, they wouldn't be able to hurt you anyways, not with me around. I'd scare them all away."
Asuka stared at his sister for a moment. "But... you're not scary, Lala.."
Isla gasped, feigning offence. "Of course I am! When I want to be, you're just lucky you're on my good side," she stated, gently tapping her brother's nose, resulting in a giggle from him, which in turn resulted in annoyed hushing from the other children, not wanting their sleep to be disturbed.
The two lay in silence for a while, before Isla felt a gentle tug on her sleeve.
"Lala, could you sing something?"
Isla hummed in gentle amusement. "What would you like me to sing?"
"That one song you learned a few days ago.. I can't remember what it's called... uhm.."
Isla laughed softly. "I think I know which one you mean. Just that one, okay? You need sleep."
Asuka nodded obediently, settling his head against the pillow.
Isla watched him for a moment, before subtly clearing her throat. Taking a deep breath, she quietly sang a soft melody.
Isla couldn't help but nervously chew her bottom lip as she watched the stage, eyes glued on the pair performing- more specifically, on her own brother's performance.
Asuka was talented, Isla knew that.. but talent can only take a person so far.
Isla had once heard it was passion that truly drives a person forward, that makes them stand out, that makes them shine the brightest. But passion, too, has limitations.
It's true, Asuka had passion, but the distracted kind, one that was fueled by his love for.. Leto, rather than his love for the performance. It was the kind of passion that Isla herself might have felt at some point, in a different time.
Isla knew Asuka's passion was dangerous, to both himself and Leto. Especially in these circumstances, which only worried Isla more.
A ghost's words repeated in her mind, though in her own voice.
Don't do something stupid.
Isla could never bring herself to like Leto, ever since she heard how her brother and him had first met. She had told Asuka this many times in the past, which only earned her a sigh and a roll of his eyes, dismissing her concern.
"I'm just trying to give you advice, Asuka. You're a great person, I'm sure you could do a lot... better."
Asuka would huff in response. "I don't want to do better! He makes me happy, Isla. Not everyone can be like you and Monica, you know."
"Asuka," Isla would warn, but the conversation usually ended there.
Now, watching the pair on stage, Isla understood the effect Leto had on her brother.
She couldn't deny that Asuka seemed to glow in the spotlight, smiling at the other man, the two unable to keep their eyes off each other for long. The scene was so ethereal, and paired with the strong emotion in her brother's voice, it formed a lump in Isla's throat.
It wouldn't last. She knew that better than anyone.
With each round she had witnessed so far, she felt like she was thirteen again, clinging to Madame's robe as she watched the stage from the crowd, only instead of her eyes being wide with curious wonder, it was from anxious dread, with no fabric to cling onto but her own dress, her nails digging in so hard they marked her skin beneath.
This round was the worst she had felt so far, other than...
...
Isla breathed a horrible sigh of relief when she saw the scoreboard. He was okay. Asuka was okay.
It was only then that she allowed herself to look down at her lap, knowing what was to come. That was what Isla was best at, she realised; avoidance, always looking away.
Isla could only really rely on her hearing to understand what was happening, but even that was difficult, her spectator pod making everything sound slightly muffled.
She heard a loud thud on stage, which she assumed was Leto's body, maybe, she couldn't tell. Isla focused on her hands, how her knuckles whitened from their tight grip, she traced the paths of her veins with her eyes, how they travelled up her pale, gaunt arms.
Isla heard a choked sob from the stage. A sob so familiar to her it made her wince.
She stared at her dress, trying to guess what material it must have been made from. Silk, probably.
Isla would have expected the body to have been taken away by now, until she heard an vicious growl escape her brother's throat.
Asuka, don't fight back. It's pointless. You must know that. Right?
She prayed her brother would understand. Isla squeezed her eyes shut, listening to the struggle, the echoing clangs of fists against metal.
Isla's breath caught in her throat when she heard a strangled cry of pain on stage.
Instinctually, she looked up, a faint taste of blood in her mouth.
Leto was already dead. Surely they wouldn't-
Asuka was on his knees, shaking from both pain and adrenaline. One of the guards had a strong grip on his arm, before letting it fall limp. He didn't seem to be able to move it. Had they broken it?
"Asuka..." Isla murmured, full of pity, watching as Asuka was then promptly thrown over another guard's shoulder, his body like a weak ragdoll. She saw a guard approach her brother's body, injecting something into his limp arm. Sedative, Isla guessed.
Isla watched as her brother was carried offstage, the fight gradually leaving him, and stayed looking out onto the stage even when he was long gone.
It was only when she heard the click of the pod's door unlocking that she moved once again.
She had to see Asuka. She had to make sure he was okay.
Stepping out of the pod, Isla moved in the direction of the backstage area. She moved through the crowd of the other contestants, blocking out their various murmurs of concern and shock. They didn't matter to her at that moment.
Upon reaching the backstage entrance, Isla prayed she would find her brother there. She was suddenly stopped by two guards, who blocked her path.
"This is a restricted area. For everyone's safety, no one is allowed through for the time being," one of them stated in a monotone voice.
"Please," Isla couldn't hide the desperation in her voice, "please, I- I'm his sister, Asuka's sister, I just want to make sure he's okay. Please, you have to-"
"We've been instructed to not let anyone through. Move along or we'll be forced to take action," the other guard warned, their voice threatening.
Isla frantically shook her head. "You don't understand! I just-"
"Isla!" A familiar voice called behind her. "What are you doing back here?"
Isla whipped her head around, looking up with pleading eyes at the voice's owner. "Madame, please, I'm trying to-"
Her Guardian cut her off. "I was just looking for you! Come along, we have quite a few things to talk about."
"Let me see Asuka first. I need to make sure he's okay-"
"Asuka..? Oh yes! The boy on stage! I always forget he is your brother. Quite peculiar behaviour he showed on stage, but I suppose that's just natural for someone like him."
Someone like him?
Isla pushed her questions aside, "Please, let me see him.. and then, I swear, I'll talk with you, about anything, just-"
Madame simply laughed, as if Isla was a child babbling about nonsense, as if it was cute, her concern for her brother. "You will see him, Isla, I give you my word. But it can wait until afterwards. We have quite a few people waiting, you see.."
Madame turned to walk away from the back of the stage and, like a brainless dog, Isla followed suit.
"We do? What.. for?"
Madame laughed again, and looked down at Isla, who suddenly felt stupid for asking, as if she should have known the answer.
Not from the phone, but from the communication device that Nyx had given Tov.
His voice was thin from exhaustion, and he spoke in a hushed tone.
“Solei is dying.”
Tov’s heart stopped.
What?
Why?
How—
“It’s too much to explain over the phone.” Nyx said.
“Then come get me.” She said. “Take me to them.”
He inhaled sharply, “I can’t, Tov. It’s too risky—”
“THEY’RE DYING, NYX!!”
Tov’s voice shook from the tears, from the anger, “Either you tell me where you are, or I’ll find out by myself.”
“Tov, don’t—”
She cut him off again.
“I would’ve given anything to be by Himei’s side when she died. Same with Moran.”
If she was being honest, she would’ve been there for Stas and Azure too.
Even though she wasn’t very close to the them, and even though he wouldn’t have given a shit if she was there or not.
“If you had that chance with Lang… wouldn’t you have taken it? Risks and all?” She asked.
It was low to pull on that particular heartstring, but Tov would be damned if she didn’t get to see Solei one last time.
Nyx would understand.
If not now, then later.
Hopefully.
Tov held her breath.
“Alright,” He said, resigned. “I’ll come get you. Be ready by midnight.”
A choked off sob clawed its way out of Tov’s throat.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
———
Nyx knocked on her window a few minutes after midnight.
Both of them were dressed in black from head to toe, like they were about to attend a funeral.
Neither of them spoke more than necessary.
Nyx led her to his motorbike and helped her put the extra helmet on before they set off.
He drove down back streets and narrow alleys to avoid being seen, taking them further and further away from the lights of the city.
When they finally stopped in front of an abandoned factory building, the street was dark and empty.
It was quiet, but an easy quiet.
The night could breathe freely here.
Tov followed Nyx around the side of the building and through a metal door; clicking three heavy locks into place behind them.
There was a long flight of stairs straight ahead with only one light hanging from the ceiling.
“Here it is, home sweet home.” Nyx said as he started climbing the stairs.
Tov trailed behind him.
“Ryu and Ji Woo are probably asleep by now.” He said. “Rose might still be up, if you want to see them. Not sure where Bunny is, though.”
“Bunny?” Tov repeated.
Nyx paused on the step above her to answer, “Rose’s brother.”
Ah.
She didn’t know Rose had a brother.
Tov wondered if any of her other classmates had siblings she didn’t know about too.
It was something else they could’ve had in common.
The stairs led up to a common area with four doors branching off from it.
Nyx strode over to the door on the far right and knocked in a distinct pattern.
No answer, but he seemed to have been expecting that.
“Now we wait.” He said, leaning up against the wall.
She leaned against the wall beside him.
Tov could hear movement nearby.
The creak of an old floorboard.
Heavy footsteps in a steady rhythm.
Running water from an open faucet.
Nyx awkwardly cleared his throat.
“Listen, there’s… something you should know before you see Solei,” He started. “They’ve changed since Anakt Garden.”
Tov furrowed her brows, concerned by his emphasis on the word, “Changed how?”
Nyx looked away for a moment, then back at her, then away again, “So…” He sighed, “Guardian Ouro did some, uh, experiments on them, and they’ve been turning into… a bird.”
Tov blinked.
“A bird?” She repeated.
Nyx nodded once, “Yeah, a bird.”
“Like, with wings and talons?” Her head was spinning.
“Both.” He said. “They’re not entirely a bird, though. The change has been gradual over the last few months, and right now Solei is caught somewhere in the middle. Like a chimera? I think?”
Nyx shook his head, “Actually don’t listen to me, you’ll just—”
He stopped short, closed his eyes, and sighed again.
His expression turned grim.
“You’ll see what I mean.”
———
Tov and Nyx waited outside the door in silence.
Five minutes passed.
Then ten.
Just shy of fifteen minutes, the door slowly opened and Aurien came out.
The sight of her was enough to choke Tov up.
She was much paler than the last time they’d seen each other.
Her cheeks were gaunt too.
Deep shadows had sunk into the curves of her face and her eyes were dull.
Lifeless.
It reminded Tov of how Aurien looked just before Round 6; before Solei had saved her.
But there was no one coming to save her now.
No one was coming to save any of them.
The Moon can’t shine without the light of the Sun.
Aurien didn’t say anything.
She didn’t even look at them.
She simply stepped aside to allow Tov to enter the room.
“I’ll wait out here.” Nyx said quietly.
Tov nodded and stepped over the threshold alone.
Aurien shut the door behind her.
She looked around the room, hesitant, until she saw them.
There, in a nest of mismatched blankets and pillows, tethered to an IV with a respirator mask, was Solei.
Feathers had sprouted through their skin, bloody at the root.
Their arms were covered in scales.
Thick, black talons grew from their nail beds, curled and sharp at the ends.
They really were turning into a bird.
Tov stumbled forward in disbelief, and fell to her knees before the nest like a disciple at the altar of their god.
Because Tov loved the stars, and the Sun was a star too.
Solei had been her Sun for as long as she could remember.
A blindingly brightness that brought light into her life for the first time.
Tov relied on them for stability more than she would like to admit, even after they escaped Anakt Garden.
Maybe even more so.
Solei escaping, surviving, made the impossible seem possible.
But if they couldn’t make it, what hope did any of them have?
Solei’s eyes fluttered open and they looked right at her.
Their once sunny irises were hollowed out, eclipsed by something darker than the moon.
But there was still a ring of light glowing faintly at the edges, and their gaze struck Tov the same way it always had.
For as much as they had changed — been forced to change — they were still the same at their core.
They were still her friend.
She laid her head down on the edge of the nest to be eye level with them.
Tov smiled, wobbly, but as best as she could manage. “Hi Solei.”
Solei opened their mouth to respond, but sputtered into a coughing fit.
Blood speckled the inside of their respirator mask.
Their whole body shook from the force.
Tov’s heart twisted.
“It’s okay,” She said quickly. “For once, I’ll do the talking and you can listen.”
Solei let out a noise that sounded like a throaty chuckle.
Thankfully, no more blood came out.
Tov waited for them to settle down again before she spoke again.
She told them as much as she could, from the day they escaped the Garden, to her being here now.
She found out Tallis was still alive.
She had a twin sister named Wren.
She was almost completely recovered from her heart attack.
Solei watched her intently, listening to everything.
Tov wasn’t sure how long she talked for, but eventually, Solei started taking long, slow blinks.
She could tell that they were fading.
Only to sleep, she hoped.
Even if it was just to see one more day.
To spend one more moment with the friends they’d saved.
To hold Aurien one more time.
This would likely be the last time she saw Solei alive.
The weight of what that meant rested heavy in the pit of her stomach.
Tov reached out to gently brush the hair and feathers out of their eyes, so they could see her clearly.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke in a soft voice.
“You know, when I died, I think… I think I saw what comes after.” Tov whispered. “It was warm and there was lots of sunlight; a good place to rest and take naps.”
Tears spilled over her lashes despite how hard she tried to hold them back.
“Enjoy it for me, okay? It’ll be just like when we were kids. You’ll lead and I’ll follow. I can be your shadow again.” She said. “I’ll try not to be too close behind you just this once.”
Solei shuddered suddenly, murmuring something she couldn’t make out.
“Tov...” They rasped.
Her heart jumped at the sound of her name, pressing against her ribcage.
“I’m here.” She said.
Slowly, they raised a hand toward her, shaking and weak.
She grabbed it right away and pulled it to her chest, over her heart.
Solei squeezed her hand, warm and steady even with their waning strength.
It reminded her of the surety in their grasp as they pulled her along through the Garden, determined to befriend a little girl who rarely said a word.
A silent declaration of truth:
“I love you.”
Tov smiled bright, despite the pain, despite the fear of what lie ahead where the their light would no longer reach.
“I love you too, Solei.”
————————————————————
OH SOLEI!!!! YOU WERE BIGGER THAN THE WHOLE SKY!!!! 😭😭
I put off writing this log like crazy because I loved Solei as a character and their death hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m still not over it, honestly 🥹
Solei was also someone Tov cared about very deeply. They were the first light in her life, and now that light is gone.
Tonight
You breathed
Then you stopped
I breathed
Then dried you off
And tonight
I feel, feel like more
Tonight, I feel like
Feel like more
Tonight, I feel like more
Feel like more
KYO
I don't belong with big names
Nor do I care 'bout fancy numbers
And I don't like jewels
It doesn't shine on my fingers
I hate to be at fancy parties
Oh, I don't care anymore
You'd call me a loser, oh
Why won't you compromise?
I'd rather give you an F
Fuck you, I am saying
HIMEI
It's okay to just admit that you're jealous of me
Yeah, I heard you talk about me, that's the word on the street
You're obsessin', just confess it, put your hands up
It's obvious, I'm your number one
It's alright to just admit that I'm the fantasy
You're obsessin', just confess it 'cause it's obvious
I'm your number one, I'm your number one
I'm your number one, yeah, I'm just livin' that life
TALLIS
I used to hear a simple song
That was until you came along
Now in it's place is something new
I hear it when I look at you
With simple songs I wanted more
Perfection is so quick to bore
You are more beautiful by far
Our flaws are who we really are
ITSASO
Shock, shock, horror, horror
If you really thought that
Growing up would be easy
All that drama, drama
Can make you wanna, wanna
Lock your door and throw the key and
Hide away
Where you're safe
Where your heart
Doesn't break
You're afraid
It's okay
It's okay
Everybody's scared
So dance in the dark
Da—, dance in the dark
Da—, dance in the dark
EDDY
VC is N/A: Not a competitor/singer
NAZ
I don't wanna start a fight
But you know when it gets heated, that's just what I like
And I never wanna talk about it
I just wanna sit in my room instead, that's what I said
And I'm takin' this adventure on my own
Walkin' through a darkened forest, goin' home
Curious, furious, I feel alone, oh, ooh
Getting over it now and I
Never wear a frown because life doesn't choose
Either side, win or lose, right or wrong, it's a battle
That's all in your mind, you better open wide
YAEL
Nowhere to go, the darkness is all you'll ever know
But there's a glow, a hand that can pull you from the flow
Hark, let him know your name
Let the Maestro make an anthem of your flame
Hear the melodies of a future written in the songs
His revelation plays, the puppets dance away
Hear the answer echo and listen to the only truth
The strings of fate will pull you through
Ignore the random unformatted lettering because tumblr hates me and I'm tired of fighting with her ass
Tagging @4listr for finding the song for Kyo, @lulling-riot for finding Yael’s voice claim, and @nottoonedin because you gave me these eyes 👀 when I asked who wanted to be tagged
What you want? (What you want?)
Everybody know my name, what you want? (What you want?)
Saying I was talking back just to front (just to front)
Everybody talkin' shit, and they damn right
Damn right, damn right, yeah
Damn right
Sayin' plastic on my wrist and they damn right (what you want?)
Damn right, damn right, yeah
Damn right (what you want?)
Say I'm biting on their hits and they damn right (what you want?)
Damn right, damn right, yeah (what you want?)
HALO
Just follow the beat Let the melody inspire
Luring you into enchantment
Come on up and we can sing together fun unfettered
Get on stage, let's go
Wanna make your day, do my thing loud and proud
No shame in what I create I got this down
Everything exactly how we want it, this is a utopia
Been a long time comin', now it's here to stay You can't deny
It's a miracle of mercy, you can't stop it if you try
I know it's possible I'm not tryin' to ask too much
JEAN
A sustained heart pain and a dark fever
How did I get fooled by such a savage curse?
The more I forgive you, the more it backfires
Now you're dancing through the smoke like nothing else matters
Where are you going, boy?
When did you get so lost?
How could you be so blind?
How could you be so blind?
MIRIAM
Virgin Mary, Jesus Christ
Think I just found the light in your eyes
Think I just became as religious as they come
I think I just found God
Dumbfounded by the glow of your gold halo
Oh God, I can't believe I'm staring at a living angel
'Cause I never believed there was a Heaven 'til I found you
And I never prayed like the church always told me to
But now you can count on me to get on my knees for you
AOKI
And so I'm left in hallways
Like a memory, retrograde
I'm lost without today
Can I allow myself, just once
A testament to my unshaken faith?
'Cause I forget most days
You said my words would kill you
But you stood there all the same
And I would sleep and dream
Of all the things I didn't say
And it's so sad to see potential
Dying, gone to waste
But I'm so glad that it was not
Myself wasting away
Once again I am NOT fighting that formatting girl idgaf it is what it is
Tagging @lulling-riot for the idea for Light's vc and @nottoonedin because you said I could tag you pspsps
season 41 is still somewhere far in the future but i figured i'd make a post of my participants!! and also a bonus person relevant to my lore yayayay okay okay information and ocs under the cut nya
[in order from left to right, top row and then bottom row]
was raised from literal infancy by her guardian, who received her as a gift from a segyein who sells cryogenically suspended newborn humans as novelty pets
is chronologically about 26 by the time of season 41
due to associations that both she and her guardian have with high-ranking members of the human rebel cell The Meadow ( @the-flowering-meadow), has been under AREPH ( @the-areph) surveillance for a significant portion of her life
leader of an idol trio under ZYNE Entertainment ( @ivanttakethis), APPLE (stylized as A🎵LE [except the notes are tail down])
trained in multiple different forms styles and physical types of sword fighting
called Rine (pronounced rye-ne) by most if not all, but her real name is a lengthened name and Rine should be pronounced closer to reen
taken from the slums at around age 6
has an older sister! but believes that she is dead
as well as idol and model work assigned by her guardian, she also has specialties in musical arrangement and production for songs, and has writing credits in many of APPLE’s songs
could probably only name five at most of her classmates (Mara, Pirouette [ @verdantlights], Cato [@/ivanttakethis], Demi [ @lulling-riot], Nixon)
prefers to learn music by ear rather than sight-read. has perfect pitch
guardian had his left iris recoloured red after an incident that left that side of the face bloodied - they enjoyed the inclusion of that colour
dating Cato ( @/ivanttakethis). would do anything for him
has a… strained relationship with Yongsun. did not handle Amia’s death well
BIG fan of Aoki ( @lookatmysillies). Aoki vs Kay had a profound effect on him when he first watched it :)
Yongsun
age at time of season: 25
birthday: February 21 [Pisces Zodiac]
pronouns: she/her
voiceclaim: Riza Hawkeye (Eng Dub, FMA Brotherhood) (speaking) Solar [Mamamoo] (singing)
brand location: lower stomach/torso
guardian: Ketoda
audition song: Duvet (by Bôa)
trivia and fun facts:
named after Kim Yongsun (김 용선), better known as Solar (who is also her voiceclaim). her guardian has a habit of naming humans after human public figures of Earth
an excellent lockpick, though it rarely comes up
despite her vocal prowess, her guardian was unable to enroll her in ANAKT Garden, and thus remained home and became a testing subject for her guardian and his business partners cosmetic company
natural hair and eye colour are dark brown, ended up changing and lightening due to experiments. the lighter patches on her skin are also due to chemical interference from the testing
very physically weak by the time of her round. guardian attempted to try for use as a provider before having her audition, but experiments have left her body too hostile and environment for child rearing
audition song: Higher (by Michael Bublé - Reinaeiry cover)
trivia and fun facts:
the first of Ketoda’s humans to be sent to ANAKT - Yongsun drilled her in some of the categories that would be important on entrance and during her time in the Garden (singing, human interaction, obedience)
the type to fixate on people. if asked people she cares for, her list would be as long as her sisters, Rine… and Andri ( @lulling-riot)
named after richard nixon. yes, that one. no i am not capitalizing his name. i hate that guy
has a weird sort of rival-siblingship with Clover that they never acknowledge out loud but is visible when you look a bit too close
excellent at studying others - plays up a very innocent sweet girl image as part of marketing just from what she’s seen work effectively. is so taken with Rine because of her straightforwardness and visible discontent
Amia
age at time of death: 25 (would be 26 at beginning of season 41)
birthday: March 15 [Pisces Zodiac]
pronouns: she/they
voiceclaim: Boss (English) (AI: The Somnium Files) (speaking) Allegra Clark (singing)
brand location: N/A
guardian: Nimou
audition song: N/A
trivia and fun facts:
Clover’s older fully biological sister. the Cain to his Abel
Yongsun’s dead wife, as it were
Eye colour and light ‘freckles’ are lightened due to chemical influence, similar to Yongsun. if she had lived longer, her hair would have turned white
failed to enter ANAKT as a child, similar to Yongsun. had… complicated feelings about Clovers entrance to the garden
remained stronger physically than Yongsun until her death from heart failure
aaaaaaand that should be all of them jesuCRISTO that’s a yapfest 🙏
taglist for people who i am subjecting this to: @mobblespsycho100 @starry-skiez
