My Secret Stash

A blog specifically for my stories 💁🏻

[impossible-k]

I wish she still could.

I crouched and looked into her eyes. I looked at her so hard it was hurting my heart.

What are you even looking at? Nothing. You're looking at nothing.

I sat copying her body position. Indian style, hands folded neatly in her lap.

I stared into her eyes the way she stated Into the space around her.

Emotionless.

I had never seen such dead looking eyes. And I have seen dead people. And I have never seen someone so dead inside. Their light so burnt out.

I needed her to understand that things weren't her fault. That she was only human and there's only so much one human can do.

She wasn't hearing me though, she wasn't seeing me.

No matter what I did or how many times I screamed and shouted and danced and sang and called her name she wouldn't look at me.

Her eyes were fixed in one position.

I'm not sure when things got to be he way they are.

We were the closest of friends growing up. Our moms met in a birthing class, we were born 5 days, 6 hours, and 27 minutes apart.

She was oldest of course. She couldn't let me forget that.

But I crawled first, and I walked first. And now at 17, I was taller, I was stronger, I had better grades.

Somewhere in the middle of the mess of our lives I started excelling in sports and school and friends and she was somewhere behind me.

I lost her and at that point I started losing myself.

Tenth grade. It was tenth grade.

I don't know why things are getting so hard to remember.

It was tenth grade when things started falling apart. We kissed at our school home coming. I was quarter back and she was just my best friend.

It was the first time we ever had any kind of romantic encounter.

But I messed up. And i didn't call her the next day. Or the next. Or even weeks after. I avoided her.

Why? I can't even tell you.

How on earth do you explain letting the girl of your dreams go because you didn't want people to judge you? Didn't want them to talk about how the star football player was dating some chorus chick. Some girl who cared more about her obsession with Star Wars and Harry Potter than make up and parties.

But looking into these dead eyes I missed the way they would light up when she would hear that damn Imperial March. Or that school trip we took in 8th grade and she cried over Harry Potter world in Universal.

Her cheeks turned pink over everything. Her eyes twinkled when she would talk about anything they were doing in chorus.

When we were 9 she went through a phase where she wanted a sister so bad she taught me how to braid her hair and convinced me that painting my nails would make me look tough.

I got beat up the next day at school and she jumped in and we were both covered in bruises.

How did I let someone this perfect fall out of my life?

How did I fail this hard?

I let her go and I lost myself and I started partying. I started doing going to parties and having a lot of sex. I had to have straight A's to play football and get a scholarship.

I was breaking my mothers heart. I was never home. I never wanted to be home.

I didn't want anything to do with anyone. I was studying, partying, and practicing. And it was exhausting.

My best friend was Boone.

Boone was the biggest DICK I'd ever met in my life.

But fuck he could party hard and he was always down to do whatever my drunk ass wanted to do.

Including letting me drive home.

I watched Boone die that night. I held his hand in the back of the ambulance. I managed to get out almost completely unscathed. Physically of course.

I lost my scholar ship. I lost my best friend. And I was being tried for man slaughter for driving under the influence.

I was lower than i had ever been.

So I called her. I called her and I cried. And she told me to suck it up.

Rightly so.

I had dropped her on her face and then expected her to pick me up off mine.

I went to her house and she wouldn't answer the door.

Her mother told me she wasn't home even though her car was in the drive way and I could see her leaving the living room to hide.

It was too much. Realizing I'd lost her was too much.

Now she sits here acting like she did something wrong.

Like she could have saved me if she would've tried.

But she couldn't. No one could.

I put my hand against her pale cheek and she closed her eyes like she finally felt me. Like I had finally made some kind of contact with her.

She pulls up the last text message id ever sent her, telling her where to find me.

I didn't realize that in killing myself, I'd killed part of her as well.

Now she sits at the park where we used to play and stares at the place where she found my lifeless body, and my brain scattered across the grass.

She sits solemnly, always in the same position and just stares at that spot until she finally get too tired and leaves.

I wish I could take it back. Not because I want to live, but because I wish she still could.

[littleststarfighter]

‘Having fun there, Kid?’

[knights-of-ben-solo]

never not reblog this makes me weepy every. damn. time.

[kyloxdriver]

This rips my heart out of my chest every time I see it

[xalexanxdriax-deactivated201702]

It all makes sense now..

[impossible-k]

Treacherous Part 9

*this is short. But I've had a majors writers block so this was a huge success for me. There's more to come. The next two weeks flew by, and I did my best to avoid any alone time with Peter and Eric. Heading to bed early, waking up early, always being one step ahead or behind where everyone else would be. I didn't want any confrontation and I definitely was more worried about making the final fear simulation without panicking and failing. Which is something I was having an extremely hard time with. Four and I had been able to work through all of my fears that had presented themselves. All except monophobia. The fear of being alone. It didn't bother me to be by myself, knowing that other people were in the building, hearing their hustle and bustle, knowing that I would see someone if I went far enough. I was terrified of being alone for good. Terrified of being factionless. Of never having someone to love the rest of my life. It presented itself in many different simulations. All equally terrifying. I laid in the net that we jumped into our first day, staring up at the clouds as they rolled by. I think back on days in Erudite and laying on the rooftops, doing the very same. But the clouds didn't have funny shaped animals and I didn't have Percy laying with me to point them out. I was always awful at finding the cloud animals he swore were there. "Hey there princess." My heart lurched. Eric leaned onto the side of the net, rolling me towards him slightly. "Hey." I propped my head on my hands and looked at him, he was smiling at me. His chin resting on his folded arms, his beard had grown in thick and full, and it only made his eyes pop brighter. "What are you up to up here?" "I'm watching clouds." I rolled onto my back again, breaking contact with those sparking gray eyes. "Anything good?" The net dipped lower and I rolled into him as he climbed in. "Not a single thing." I fixed myself next to him, close but not touching. Close enough to feel his heat radiating off his body. "You're just not looking hard enough. You always give up too easily. You gotta look for the good in things." I could feel the words hanging in the air like a double edged sword. "It's not always that easy you know..." My words were as soft as my heart felt at the moment. "I'm going to make it easier. You keep fighting me Rowan but I'm not planning on going anywhere." His fingers intertwined with mine, I felt my entire body tense and relax in one quick second, tears pricked the backs of my eyes. "I don't know what I'm doing Eric." The quiver in my voice was undeniable. "Let me be here Rowan." He pulled me closer to him, I turned on my side to curl into him. His smell over took my senses and for a moment I had to convince myself that this was real. It wasn't a simulation. This was a real moment and a real decision I had to make. "You get really mean sometimes you know." I was barely whispering now, i buried my face into him. "I'm going to change. I don't want to be that way anymore." He smoothed my hair off of my face and kissed my head, "I need you to tell me something." "Yeah?" I looked up at him, his face was expressionless. "Do you have feelings for Peter?" Did I have feelings for Peter? Of course I had feelings for Peter. How could I not? But how could I give up the man that was holding me right now? Is the grass greener on the other side? Or is it green where you water it? "No Eric." I laid my head down on his chest. "Rowan?" "Yeah Eric?" "Your nose still twitches when you lie."

[jaicourtneyforever-deactivated2]

Jai Courtney || Esquire Latinoamérica || July/August 2016

[praetorsreyna]

draco dormiens nunquam titilandus

[mandybug39]

If you got this message from me it wasn’t me I have been hacked I got the same one earlier so those have been sent this or it has shown you sent it wasn’t they have most likely been hacked to get rid of it change your password.

[impossible-k]

Treacherous part 8

~ Sorry it's a little short. I ran into a little writers block... If anyone has any ideas or comments feel free to message me cause ya girl needs some inspiration 😅😅 I felt sick to my stomach, the butterflies had turned against me and there was now a tornado in my belly. I walked back to the pit, settling in next to Lysh. "You don't look too hot there girly, you alright?" Lysh threw me a worried look and i nodded at her. I was fine. I didn't have a choice. I had to be okay. The rest of the night seemed to fly by in auto pilot mode. I drank with the best of them, pushing any thought of either boy out of my head. Boys weren't anything I needed to be worried about. I had fresh fears coming my way and that's what I needed to be worried about. I relaxed with my fellow initiates, gliding across the dance floor, everyone up on each other just enjoying life. I finished off my fifth drink and headed back to the bar for another before returning to the dance floor, grinding up against a candor transfer, he laughed and hooted as he danced along. A hand pulled me in another direction and I was chest to chest with Peter, his hunter green eyes smoldering. "Hiya." I smiled up at him. He smelt like musk and old leather. Maybe a deep woodsy smell. Something so stunningly manly I almost couldn't focus. "Hey there Thunder. Finally putting that ass to good use?" He eyed the other Candor. "I just needed a break." I told him backing back into the dance floor, pulling him with me. "You disappeared on me earlier!" He leaned in closer to my ear so I could hear him. His breath fanned my neck and I felt mine hitch. "Guess I'm just better at running than you thought ." I shrugged, finishing his drink for him as well as my own. Peter went to say something before he was pulled away from me by some girl who was entirely more drunk than I was. I laughed at his disgusted face, sad he tried to pry her off. I started towards the bar when I was jostled around by a few rough dancers, my world was spinning with colors and it took me a minute to focus my eyes. When I did I was staring right at Eric, who in turn was staring at me. His steely gray eyes bore into mine, and I knew that look all too well. Disapproving. Disappointed. Disgraced. Angry. My heart started to race as I tried to get away from that stare. I tried to push back through the wall of people but I locked eyes with Peter from a distance and I looked back to Eric. I was caught between both of them in more than one sense and I had no idea what to do. Not one. I pushed through the crowd of people, trying to make my way to the door. I didn't make it before my world turned black. I dreamt of him. I dreamt of his beautiful forest green eyes. I dreamt of his perfect pink lips. We laid together in a clearing in the woods as green as his eyes and I laid on his chest, breathing in the smell of the woods. He traced my cheeks with his finger tips. His eyes were closed, sleep tempting him. "Peter?" I rose my hand to his face to wake him, but before I reached him an ungodly snore ruptured every part of my dream. And woke me to my reality. Peter was wrapped around me, his mouth not two inches from my ear. Snoring relentlessly. I slammed my elbow into his chest and he woke with a start, sitting up completely, ready to fight. "WHAT?!" He wiped the drool from his mouth and I couldn't help but chuckle. "Why are we in the infirmary?" I asked him softly, trying not to alert the medics. "You passed out you idiot." Peters face was disapproving. "How much did I drink?" I took the water from the side table and took a long swig. "I have no idea. But you passed the fuck out. And I was nice enough to walk you here and stay with you. So. You can thank me now." Peter laid back down, both arms tucked behind his head. "You just didn't want to sleep alone." I rolled my eyes at him, settling back onto the bed myself, laying in the crook of his shoulder. "You know you like me, right?" Peter slipped his arm around me, pulling me in closer. "What ever floats your boat kid." I rolled into his chest, throwing my leg over his. "You puked all over my shoes." He wiggles his sock covered feet. "You deserved it." I laughed, sleep settling in. "You'll get yours. Don't even worry." He rested his head on mine and I let the darkness take me once again.

[impossible-k]

Treacherous part 7

One: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144110516858/treacherous-pt1 Two: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144112146468/treacherous-part-2 Three: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144166262753/treacherous-part-3 Four: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144205087943/treacherous-part-4 Five: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144304987658/treacherous-part-5 Six: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144375788978/treacherous-part-6

I walked into my simulation room, palms sweating. “It could change,” Four told me, trying to be reassuring, “But you have to find your way through it. Beat the fears.” I closed my eyes feeling the serum run through my Veins. When I opened my eyes I was back on my cot. Think. You have to think. Dauntless is not afraid. I hear the screaming in the hallway and my heart sinks. Peter. I take off before I can let my fear settle in, running into cots along the way. The thunder and lightening only encouraged me to run faster, lighting the way. The darkness screamed my name, they were faster this time. The screaming is louder. I can hear them both. I reach the door, throwing it open. Eric has Peter up against the wall, a gun to his temple. My gut clenches. “Eric!” I call to him but he doesn’t turn to look at me. “Eric!” I run towards him, the door behind me slamming, trapping the monsters, “Eric it’s me. It’s me.” I touch his arm and he breaks peters gaze and looks into my eyes. “I’m here.” The way he looks at me chills me to the bone. He’s mad. He’s angry with me. “You’re worthless.” He spits, turning back to Peter, it takes me a second to evaluate the situation. Erics too big. I can’t take him down. “Eric please.” I push him, his rage turning to me. “Don’t you EVER push me!” Eric let’s go of Peter, and stalks towards me as I back away. “Eric- me and Peter aren’t together.” I try to calm him but it doesn’t work. “Liar.” He backs me up against the cool concrete wall. The gun is pressed into my stomach. I’m not afraid for me. Eric won’t kill me. But he will kill himself. “Eric I’m choosing you. Okay?” I put my hands on his face and look into his steely gray eyes. He raises the gun to his head. “You didn’t love me enough.” I panic, jumping on his arm, I pull the gun from him out of pure luck. “Kill me then. I won’t do this without you May. I want you.” Eric has no expression on his face, his eyes cold and lifeless. He backs up, hands in the air. Kill Eric? I couldn’t kill him. Not in my wildest dreams. “No.” I raise the gun to my own head. “May.” Erics eyes look troubled, only my name on his lips. His eyes are pleading. He reaches a hand towards me, and suddenly he’s Percy. My Percy. He walks forward slowly, tears streaming his face. “Please. You don’t want to die.” His voice made my ears rang like bells. His sweet melodic voice. Is hand is over mine, he isn’t fighting to pull the gun away. Not yet. “I take it back. I take it all back.” Percy rested his forehead against mine. “I’m not afraid of death.” I take a deep breath. I pull the trigger and I’m back in the simulation room. Eric stares at me, Four sits expressionless. Watching the two of us. “Mays dead.” I look into Erics eyes. Making myself clear. My hands were shaking but I had never felt more powerful. He doesnt move. He doesn’t make a sound. Instead, Four speaks, “You beat your first round of fears.” “If I didn’t they would’ve beaten me.” I slide off the table, brushing past Eric.

I sat with Lysha and a few others at dinner that night, highly aware that Eric didn’t show up to sparring practice. Even more aware he didn’t show up to dinner. I cursed myself internally as I searched the pit for him. There was no sight of him anywhere. “Looking for me?” Peter saddled down next to me, nudging me with his thigh. “Not in your wildest dreams.” I nudge him back, careful that no one saw. “You know,” he exclaimed rather loudly, “Last night was the best sleep I’ve gotten since I’ve been here.” I push all of my weight onto his toes with the heel of my boot. “What? So what? There’s nothing anyone can do. You like me. You told me that at 3:48 this morning. Half asleep. You told me I was pretty and I’m taking it.” Peter smirked, two hands in the air like a victor. “Actually I remember calling you petty.” I pretended to frown, and stole a fry off his plate. I had called him pretty, truth be told. And I wasn’t lying when I said it. He was snoring deathly loud in my ear and I decided I was better off sleeping alone. I was almost completely off the cot and on my way to his when he woke up and pulled me back to him. “Just stay.” He said in a sleepy slumber. “Only because you’re pretty.” I huffed back. * “Whatever floats your boat Tush.” He shoved half a burger in his mouth and I turned away disgusted. No one seemed phased by our conversation, most of them had learned to tune out our bickering by now, even though lately our bickering wasn’t quite bickering. It was almost witty. “What? Don’t like beef?” Peter laughed, finishing off my water. “Oh I like it. Just not yours.” I smacked his burger out of his hands, landing on his plate with a mess of ketchup and mustard. “You bitch.” Peter stared at his stained shirt before he looked back at me and an excited giggle escaped me, I took off from the bench, knowing full and well I was in for it. I flew out of the pit laughing, I could hear Peter slamming into people trying to catch up. I turned the corner and stepped into a dark hall way, just out of sight from the main way. Peter ran past not a moment later, a smile lighting up his face. “Hiding from someone?” My heart lurched as his voice, my smile melting off my face. “I could ask you the same thing.” I turned in the narrow hall to face him, my brave mask on. “Rowan, I don’t think you’re really over me, are you? Not enough to be with someone else.” Eric stepped closer, our chests only inches apart. I dared not look at his face, I stared intently at his chest. I watched the rise and fall. “I’m not with Peter.” I looked down to our feet, both clad in black. “But you want to be.” Eric took a single finger and pulled my chin up to lock eyes with his. “What do you want me to say Eric? We’re not the people we used to be.” “Tell me you don’t miss our nights together. Tell me you don’t miss me. Tell me that you’re so done that you could never speak to me again.” He inched closer to my face with his own and my breath hitched. I tried to find my words but they were just as afraid of what was about to happen. He pressed his lips to mine softly, holding my chin so tenderly as if he thought I might break under his touch. Naturally I kissed him back, a breath of relief escaped me. That same relief you get when you get that first cold drink on a hot day. He held my face gingerly as he backed away from me. “Just remember that you graduate into Dauntless in less than three weeks Rowan. And we can do that whenever we want.” He kissed my forehead, and turned and left me standing in that hall way, mind reeling. If I was so over Eric… What the hell were the butterflies doing in my belly?

[klassicallyk]

He had just turned 18, and I was on my way to 17, when he told me he loved me. We were young, foolish… But damn, we were in love. I was nothing more than a book loving wall flower that he picked out of a field of roses and daisies. He wore leather jackets and nice fitting pants and had messy hair that I loved to pull my fingers through. We were the most unlikely couple, but we were our towns lovebirds. Everyone knew I was his and he was mine and anyone that dared to mess with that was in for a fight. He was reckless, I was safe. He was a fighter and I was a lover. I had big dreams, and his big dreams were of me. We told my parents that we planned on getting married in the spring and I have never seen Mamas face turn that white, I’ve never heard Daddy quite so angry and I had never been so afraid of them. I clung to his shirt as Mama tried to pull me away from him and Daddy pushed him out the door. I was heart broken. I was shattered. “He’s trash.” They said, “You’re going places and that boy is going to find himself in the county jail. You won’t see him again. You can bet on that. You’ll thank us.” I cried for what felt like days locked up in that house. He only came by once, and Mama was quick to lock me inside my room and I pounded that door until my hands were so sore they could’ve bled. He tried to come in but Daddy wouldn’t let him and one punch to the face had Mama calling the police and they took him away. Mama called him unstable. I didn’t eat for almost 2 days. It had been almost two weeks and I thought I would never see him again. I was barely let out of the house and when I was I was with Mama or Daddy. I searched the streets for him as we drove into town, I searched for his friends… I saw no one. I felt more alone than I ever had in my life. I knew he had given up on me and moved on. I just knew it. It was late one Sunday night, I was almost asleep, and I could hear the smallest of tapping from my window. My heart fluttered faster than I could move and I threw open the window and got a pebble to the forehead and it didn’t even matter. He was standing on the grass below, hand full of rocks, leather jacket and messy hair. “Run away with me.” He was whispering just loud enough for me to hear him and I ran back into my bedroom just long enough to grab my coat, shoes, and my bag with barely enough money in it to buy a bus ticket and I was scaling the side of the house. My fingers found their way into his hair and I could feel his heart beating against mine and I have never been so in love. He had bags packed and money saved and he was prepared to steal me away. We walked in the dark of night until we couldn’t walk anymore and found ourselves a bench to sit on until the bus came to get us. The chill of the wind caught me off guard and I tugged my coat tighter around myself as I leaned into him. I pulled my knees up to my chest and he threw his arm around me. I clung to that leather jacket for dear life, no one was going to take him from me. He laid his head on mine and I felt myself drifting off to sleep, safe and warm with the love of my life by my side. The bus would be here in a few hours, and we were going to start the rest of our lives.

[impossible-k]

So this is the very first writing of mine I posted to tumblr, so I'm moving it from one account to the other now 💁🏻 so here it is haha

[impossible-k]

Treacherous Part 6

One: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144110516858/treacherous-pt1

Two: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144112146468/treacherous-part-2

Three: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144166262753/treacherous-part-3

Four: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144205087943/treacherous-part-4 Five: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144304987658/treacherous-part-5

I heard myself screaming and I couldn’t force myself to stop. I was crying and sobbing but there was no calm to this storm. “Rowan!” Four held my face in his hands trying to get me to make eye contact with him but it wasn’t happening. He left the simulation room only momentarily. I curled in on myself and continued to sob. I could feel Peters warm blood on my hands and my body as I crawled those halls and I felt the thud when Eric hit the floor. I watched his blood splatter all over the wall. The creatures in the dark came crawling out of the room, crawling towards me. Black faceless creatures. Soulless creatures. “Rowan!” Eric entered the room, and my heart leapt. He came to me, and I didn’t expect to be so afraid. “DONT TOUCH ME!” I pushed away from him, climbing out of the chair. “Why? What happened?” He raises his hands slowly, walking towards me. “You killed him. You killed him and you killed yourself and then they killed me.” I pressed myself against the wall and slid towards the door, sobs still Escaping my chest. “It was the simulator Rowan. I didn’t do anything. I’m alive. You’re okay.” Eric crept closer to me and I froze in fear. I cringed as he reached out to touch me. He engulfed me in a hug and held me close, his heart beat soothing. I melted into his arms and let the tears run down my face and soak his shirt.

It took me a little over an hour to calm down from my episode. My chest sore from crying so hard. Eric begged me to talk about my simulation. He threatened Four if four didn’t tell him. But Four left that up to me. And that was the last thing i wanted. Once i had stopped crying I moved away from Eric. Still not wanting to be too close to him. Every time I closed my eyes I could feel his hands around my throat. I could see his blood all over the walls. I saw Peter lying lifeless in the hall. I could feel the blood against my skin like the ocean after you get out. He eventually grew tired of me fighting him and left me on my cot to think, throwing his hands up in frustration at my silence. Nyctophobia: fear of darkness Astraphobia: fear of thunder Hemophobia: fear of blood Mono phobia: fear of solitude Necrophobia: fear of death Daemonophobia: fear of demons Aquaphobia: fear of drowning Atychiphonia: fear of failure The list Four had handed me. I already had 8 fears from one simulation. And he had woken me up early. How many fears can someone have? I was never going to make it into Dauntless. I laid on my cot and listened to the other initiates come in. Some rattled like me, others talking about How easy it was to overcome their fears. Peter came in looking upset. I took comfort in the fact that even the strongest of us could be shaken off of our pedestals. He looked at me, I tried to smile, but he turned away. He hadn’t talked to me at all today. In fact, no one other than Eric really had. And I refused to go see him. I hugged my pillow to my chest, and curled around it. I felt hollow. I felt alone. Monophobia.

I slipped my shoes on, careful not to make a sound. I wiped the last of the tears from my cheeks as I walked to the door, Erics extra access key in hand. “What the fuck is your problem?” Peter was sitting up in his cot, staring at me. My heart pounded extra hard for a beat, not expecting anyone to be awake. “I can’t sleep.” My voice was hoarse, evidence I had been crying. “Did the big bad night mares get you?” Peter pouted out his bottom lip, teasing me. He got off of his cot walking towards me. He meant to anger me but he didn’t. “You died. I saw your body. And the blood. I watched Eric shoot his own brains out. I watched them hit the wall. I was crawling in your blood, it was all over me. You both died. And it was my fault.” I stalked closer to him, eyes locked on his. My hands were shaking and my chest felt like it was going to explode. I dreamt my simulation all over again, reliving every awful moment. “Well I’m right here, your crying would wake the dead if you really wanted it to.” He sounded annoyed, but his eyes said more. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” I wiped at the tears still shakily falling to my cheeks, “I’m not dauntless. I’m afraid.” He rolled his eyes at me. “Well you can’t succeed and get better if you’re tired. And neither can I.” He smirked, making a point to dry one of my last years from my cheek. “Maybe I should just go to Erics and apologize. Maybe he’d let me stay.” I turned for the door again and Peter grabbed my arm. “Okay, look, would it help if I laid by you until you fell asleep? Because I’m exhausted and I’m not sure how anyone else is sleeping through your wailing. And we both know going back to that dick isn’t going to fix anything.” I nodded my head, too tired to focus on anything else but going back to sleep and not having those dreams. I knew Peter was right, going to Eric for comfort was like going to a going to a bee for honey. You might get it, but not without getting stung along the way. “Well come on, we don’t have all night Thunder Thighs.” Peter grabbed his pillow off his cot and threw it on the ground next to my cot. I laid down and looked at him, peering over the side of my cot. “Thank you Peter.” “Yeah yeah. Shut up so I can sleep.” A playful smirk played on his lips, his eyes closed. I closed my eyes, knowing that Peter was near helped slightly even though I couldn’t place why. Did Peter really like me? Or was it the alcohol talking? I laid still for what felt like forever but sleep wasn’t coming easily. “Peter?” I peeked over at him. “What?” Peter groaned, one hand covering his face. “Can you- would it be weird- well if you know-” “Scoot your big ass over.” Peter pulled himself up next to me, wrapping an arm over me, up and around my chest, holding me securely against him. He snuggled his face into my neck and within minutes he was sound asleep. His snoring was soft and deep in my ear and it lulled me to sleep not long after.

[impossible-k]

Treacherous Part 5

Weeks passed, we had three weeks until initiation was over. The love bird phase of having Eric was long gone. He was stubborn and thick headed, and so was I. I'd come to learn a lot about Eric, though. He was ruthless. He was rude. And rough. I'd watched him send initiates to the infirmary in the time it took me to blink. I'd come to recognize his irritated tome of voice, only to turn and see him knocking someone out. Choking someone single handedly. I'd seen him walk away from someone who needed medical attention like he never saw them. The first time he got mad at me I wasn't expecting it. Not at all. Four was training me during class that day, running blocking techniques with me. "Keep your core steady Rowan." Four scolded me again, knocking me flat on my back. "Show me." I stood back up, wiping myself clean of the chalk and dirt. "Alright," Four raised his hands to to his face, "Attack me." I went after him, he blocked two punches before I got a kick in to his side. He went down, before he could get to his feet, I straddled his back and pulled his arm back as hard as I could. "Damn Rowan. You're getting a lot better." Four beamed at me, and I felt the pride rush through me. "You went easy on her Four. Don't give her false hope." Eric was standing on the edge of the mat, watching too intently. I looked at Eric a little baffled as to why he was belittling what he himself had taught me. "But I-" Eric cut me off by stepping onto the mat, offering me his hand as he pulled me off of Four. "I'll show you how this is supposed to go." I looked to Four but his expression was just as lost as mine. "Square up." Four backed off the mat, eyes warily watching what was about to unfold. "Beg-" Before Four could finish the word a swift kick to my stomach had the wind knocked out of me and I was up and over Erics shoulder before I could even realize what happened. I was slammed down onto the mat, losing all ability to breathe for what felt like minutes. Eric bent down over my face, eyes locked onto my own. "Watch it." His breath fanned my face. I was genuinely afraid. That night he stole me from dinner and we hid away in his apartment, snuggled under blankets, talking about life. The second time I pissed him off, I'd helped a abnegation transfer walk to the infirmary. Eric didn't like that the transfer had his arm around me as I helped him limp away from Erics brutal beat down. This punishment was far worse than anything physical, it was mental. Watching him flirt and fondle other women in front of me in the pit after hours.... It sickened me. Apologies weren't Erics Forte. But he had his own way of saying sorry. Mainly snuggles and kisses. Lots of physical attention. I spent every night he'd let me curled up in his bed, sprawled out across his chest, or him curled around me. We started fighting more as the weeks passed, over the smallest most idiotic things. But that was Eric. Hiding us was getting old, and there were lots of rumors. About Eric, and about Peter. Which Eric wasn't fond of. All of which I was able to ignore until tomorrow's fighting pairs went up. And I was facing Peter. "Hi." I sat in the middle of Eric's bed, waiting for him to come home. "Well hello." He eyed me suspiciously as he dropped his bag on the floor. "We need to talk." I smiled sweetly, patting the space next to me. "What did you do?" Eric didn't move, he simply crossed his arms. A playful smile tugged at his lips. I crawled off the bed and up to him, puppy eyes on full blast. "I need you to make sure Peter and I don't have to fight tomorrow. Okay? Perfect. Thanks." I stretched up and kissed him quickly, bolting for the door. "Rowan!" His voice was a warning, the kind your mother used when you took one too many cookies. He slammed the front door back shut just as I pulled it open. "Eric come on. Do you really want to see me demolished? Because he will kill me. He will." I looked into his eyes, pleading. "I can't show you favoritism Rowan. Don't you know that?" Eric scolded me, his icy eyes bore into mine. "Well yeah- but you see I was thinking that-" "No." Eric furrowed his eye brows at me, "You'll fight Peter. And if you win, you win. If you lose, you'll try again." My sweet Eric had gone into hiding lately. When the rumors came out, he started pushing me farther and farther away. He wasn't even teasing me at training anymore, just working me harder and kicking my ass. "Eric, I don't think you quite understand-" "And I don't think you quite understand my position is at risk here. I could lose all rights as a trainer. I could lose rank, I could be factionless. And all you seem to care about is you, May." Eric laughed bitterly, my Erudite name sounding like poison on his tongue. It felt like a slap to the face, "I don't know what happened to May, but when you find her let me know. I don't know who the fuck you've turned into since you've got here but she doesn't hold a candle to the girl I fell in love with back in Erudite." His face was close to mine, his eyes intimidating. "Eric, I-" I went to put my hand on his chest but he backed away from me. "Maybe you should stick to training." My heart came to a halting stop. "Wait- what?" I furrowed my brow, trying to wrap my head around what he had just said, "You're done?" I felt my heart break. I felt it shatter. "If you're so worried about fighting Peter then maybe you haven't been training as much as you needed to be." Eric was cold, his face like stone. "Fine." A fire burned deep in my belly, i was angry and I was hurt. I grabbed my shoes, and threw open the door to his apartment. I stood in the door way, stripping his shirt from my body. "What the hell are you doing?" He was completely exasperated. "I don't want your shit." I threw his shirt in his face, and walked back to my dorm in just my bra and pants, leaving an incredulous Eric in my wake. I was angry. And it wouldn't be taken lightly. I stalked to the dorms, ignoring the comments on the way there and when I arrived. I stuffed myself into an old sweatshirt and running shoes. "Whoah, Thunder what's up? You seem upset." Peter sprawled out on my cot as I stood up, brushing him off. "Fuck off Peter." "You know, I think that's your favorite phrase. You say it a lot." He's grinning ear to ear, his hands propped behind his head. "What do you want?" I'm defeated, and exhausted, and all I wanted to do was go run. "Just wanted to wish you luck tomorrow. No hard feelings when I crush you." He rubbed his fingers together like he was squishing a bug. "Okay Peter." I turned to walk off, only to be turned back around by my wrist which he had caught swiftly. "For real though, everything okay?" Worry flashed across his face for no longer than a moment, before curiosity took its place, "You came in pretty beat up." "You don't give a shit." I pulled my wrist from his grip, headed back into the compound. I threw my hood up and ran until curfew. I was going to beat Peter tomorrow and show Eric what was I was made of. Eric was right. I wasn't sweet little May anymore. And I wasn't going to play his games anymore either. That night was the first night since I'd been in Dauntless I'd had the dream. I watched Percy's dad smash a bottle against the back of Percy's head, pieces flying. Percy cried out, blood covering his hands as he reached to cover the pain. I was seven, Percy was nine. Percy saw me but his dad didn't. He saw me and he knew I would tell. That night was the first time Percy crawled through my window. Angry at first, threatening my life if I told anyone. Then the tears fell as he cried. I just hugged him, not knowing what else to do. I woke myself with tears streaming my face, it was dark and everyone was sleeping soundly. All except my lovely friend Peter. He sat on the end of his cot, only a walking space between the foot of mine and the head of his. I made eye contact with him, knowing he was watching me. Fear rumbled in my belly. He had stabbed another initiate in his sleep to make sure he was above that line. There's no telling what he'd do to me. I rolled over, clutching the sheets. I listened as his bed groaned as he crawled into it. And I listened as his breathing grew heavy and rhythmic. But I still did not sleep. I knew I looked like shit at training that day. My bags looked as heavy as they felt. "Peter, Rowan, let's go." Eric stood emotionless at the edge of the mat. Four pulled me aside before I walked up, "Get out of whatever funk you're in or you're done for." He was close to my face but I remained expressionless, "If you can't make it out, fake It out." I lined up my shoulders and my hips, arms up and ready to block my face. We circled the mat for a minute before Peter lunged out for my face and I ducked only fast enough to feel his fist brush the top of my head. I threw a quick jab to his stomach while he was over me, lifting him enough to push him up and over me, him falling behind me and clambering to find his feet. "I was going to go easy on you Tush, but now I don't think I will." Peter was mad now, his deep green eyes searching my face for my next move. I swept my leg out to knock him off his and he grabbed my arm, throwing me to the ground, a swift kick to the gut, and a stomp to my leg, before backing up to give me space to stand up. "I'm not gonna let you get out of this that easy Thunder Thighs. Let's go." Peter taunted me, bouncing on his feet. I stole a look to Eric, he wasn't even watching. He was talking to Four. I caught Peter by surprise and jabbed him in the jaw, swinging my foot around and catching him in the neck, landing us both on the ground. I scrambled to pin him but his upper body crushed mine before I got the chance. His hand crushed my throat. One punch to the face and I was almost done. "Should have been training with me." Peter laughed in my face. I was able to slip my leg behind his before he could land another punch, flipping our positions and wrapping my legs around his neck. I squeezed, but it wasn't enough to trap Peter, he grabbed onto my ponytail and yanked me to the ground, another kick to the face and I laid in a puddle of my own blood. I was conscious when I heard Eric congratulate Peter. I was conscious when Peter offered to take me to the infirmary. And I was completely conscious as he picked me up, his arms under my knees and behind my back, my bloody face cradled into his shirt. I was so conscious that once we were out of the room I shoved myself out of his arms, hurling myself to the floor. "Hey! I was just-" "Don't you ever touch me." I spat blood onto the floor as I looked up at him. He threw up his hands in surrender. "Did you fake that? Did you pretend to black out?" Peter was smiling that shit eating smile of his as I started to get to my feet, and quickly fell forward, Peter not even moving to help. "Look I know you said not to touch you but it looks like you need some help." I don't think that smug look ever leaves his face. "Fine." I glared at him and he picked me up in the same fashion as before, my tired eyes daring to close as we made the long walk to the infirmary. "If you would have spent more time training and less time pining after someone you can't have, you could have beaten me. Easily. You have good technique you just need more muscle." Peter spoke without looking at me. "What's that supposed to mean?" I was on the edge of consciousness, whether it be from lack of sleep or blood loss I wasn't sure. "Eric. He's known for fooling around with initiates every time the new group comes in. Everyone assumes you're his pick this round." Peter isn't smiling anymore. "I'm not with Eric." I mumbled before i let the darkness take me. "Come on sleepy head." I rolled over to look at my watch, it was 3 am. What the hell? I was on a cot in the infirmary, Peter standing by my bed with a change of clothes in his hands. "What the fuck Peter?" I snuggled deeper under the blanket and groaned as he ripped it from me. "You're just above the line. Now it's time to celebrate. We head into the fear simulations tomorrow. Tonight? We party." He threw my clothes at me and I looked at him expectantly. "Alright, I won't watch." He put his hands in the air and turned towards the door. I pulled the blood stained tank top over my head, my body screaming in pain. "Peter is this your shirt?" He turned before I put it on, I was sitting in my bra. "Oh shit." He covered his eyes, "Yeah Lysh wouldn't let me raid your stuff. So it's her pants and a shirt of mine. She said hers wouldn't fit." I laughed internally, watching the blush flood peters neck and reach his face and he turned back around. Lysh was right, we had the same pant size, but no way in hell would her shirt have fit me. Her shoulders were as broad as her hips, and she was full chested. "Okay." I put my feet on the ground feeling my balance. "You're totally fine by the way. The nurse said nothing's broken, no concussion or anything. You're welcome." I glared at Peter as I walked past him and into the compound. He Lead me to the other initiates, we were boarding the train, it was loaded to the brim with guns. "What are we doing exactly?" A girl named Tris asked, turning a gun in her hands. "This my dear babies, is capture the flag night!" Four seemed over excited, his rarely seen smile lighting up the dark train car. Four and Eric divided us off into teams. I was fours second choice, followed by Peter. Lysh was Erics first choice and my heart lurched to hear his voice say her name. Four continued to explain the rules, none of which I heard. My eyes were focused on Eric. His arms folded tight across his chest. He didn't even know I was here. We jumped from the train and suddenly Peter was at my side, "I'm not stupid. And I definitely saw you staring him down." "There's nothing Peter. Now fuck off." I rammed my shoulder into him as we went into our offensive positions, looking for signs of the other team. "We should stick together for this. You know? You're still recovering from having your ass handed to you." He's beaming at me, mischief written all over his face. "Let's not." I dove off behind cover as the other team spotted us, sending a wave of bullets our way, Peter dodged to the other side and I took the opportunity to escape him. I ran into an old building, climbing the old concrete stairs warily. I rushed the room as I made it to the top, only to run smack dab into Erics chest. My heart was in my throat as I drew my gun and pointed it at his chest. "Rowan, put down the gun." Eric chuckled, underestimating me. "No. Fuck you." I heard a chuckle behind me and I knew Peter had followed me. Eric was clueless. "Oh come on Rowan. We had a fight." Eric stalked closer to me. "I don't know what you're talking about." I tried to shift my eyes towards the stairs but Eric wasn't taking the hint. "Rowan I came to check on you today. I do care. You can't possibly think I don't care." He dropped his gun to the ground. Hands up in surrender, "I want to fix it. I want to take back what I said." His words hung heavy in the air between us. I pulled my gun up to his chest again. "You can't take what you said to me back. You want to take back all the other initiates Eric? All of the initiates before me? One every phase?" I squinted my eyes at him as he cocked an eyebrow, his sweet demeanor turning into a cruel smirk. "You really believe that. You're really going to listen to the rumors?" He reached forward, cupping my face in his hands. I closed my eyes and relaxed in the familiar calluses. He smelt like comfort and the butterflies in my stomach launched into full flight. "Eric-" he cut me off me off by pressing his lips against mine, I tried to back up, but he wasn't letting any distance between us. He had a hand on the small of my back and held my body to his. My stomach clenched and I pulled the trigger, shooting him point blank in the leg. "Don't come near me." I looked him dead in the eye as I unloaded my gun on him. Eric lurked closely the rest of the night, my fear getting the best of me. He terrified me. The truth was I wasn't May anymore. And he wasn't Percy. I didn't love Eric. I loved Percy. I loved his innocence and his kindness. I loved how he thought before he acted and how he always wanted me around. Eric was cruel and thoughtless. Id watched him hurt people as easily as he breathed. He didn't hold me at night like Percy used to. What I loved were the moments that he'd remind me of the boy I used to love. The boy I pined after. In celebration we spent the rest of the night in the pit, partying and having a good old time. Eric lurked, far enough away, but still too close. I drank with my friends, laughing amongst ourselves and i could feel his eyes burning holes in me. "So, when are we gonna talk?" Peter Sauntered up, a hand shoved in his pocket, he other holding a drink. "That didn't happen Peter and I swear to god I'll kill you if you say it did." I looked at him, murder written in my eyes. He chuckled at me, ruffling my hair. "Eric sure fucked up this time." He tapped me on my nose with a finger, toying with me and he finished his beer. "Let's get you a break up tattoo!" Peter threw his arm around my shoulder and I realized how drunk He really was. "A break up tattoo?" I looked at him the alcohol mixing with my train of thought. "Hell yeah. You have to do something crazy when you have a huge break up." Peter snatched my cup out of my hand, downing another cup of poison. "There wasn't a break up Peter. No one was dating." I caught Erics eye, his glare burning a hole in Peter. "Okay, May. Whatever you say princess. Let's get tattoos." The name stung my ears but I let the alcohol and rage get the best of me and let Peter lead me off. I thought heard Eric shout my name as I left the pit, but I wasn't sure. "This one." I held a bell in my hands, turning the glass plate over and over. "A bell?" Peter scoffed. "When I was little, I was very quiet. I was very light on my feet. Stealthy. You never heard me enter a room. My best friends dad called me "Needs-a-bell" for the majority of my life. Figured it was time to get one." I laid down on the table and she put the pad down on the inside of my arm, without warning the burning started and was over in the matter of minutes. "Well that's pretty dumb." Peter held a plaque in his hands with a series of bands, "Both wrists." He grinned. I rolled my eyes and waited for him to finish up. "Your nose healed up nicely Peter. Looks better than before." I flicked it one good time, for good measure. "You know, I think I may have come across wrong in the beginning. I'm not so good at flirting." Peter was stumbling on his words and his feet as we walked back to our dorms. "Flirting?" I looked at him waiting for the laugh, but it didn't come. "Yeah." He wasn't smiling, or smirking. He was serious. "Peter you're drunk and I'm drunk and this isn't a smart idea right now." He didn't say a word as he climbed into his cot and laid down. My heart hurt and now I was confused. I hit the water and the iciness took my last breath away, my body convulsing from the sudden temperature change. I fought to make my body move the way I needed it to so I could swim back to the top but the current was pushing me under, flipping me again and again. I looked around me as my lungs threatened to burst, burning my chest. Rocks. I reached out and grabbed ahold of one of the biggest ones I could reach to grasp my balance to get upright. I pushed off and made it to the surface, gulping for air, any little bit I could get. Suddenly I warp back to my cot and I'm sweating, I sit bolt upright and I'm alone. I'm alone and it's dark. "Just a nightmare." I try to still my heart. The room is only being illuminated by the bolts of lightening and the cracks of thunder from outside. I hear screaming in the hall way and then moments later a gunshot. I was frozen to my cot, the room was so dark I couldn't see my own hand in front of my face. I could hear something in the dark and my heart was pounding. What is this? I can hear someone pounding on the other side of the door, trying to get in. They're screaming my name. I screamed out to the door and the person on the other side pounded harder. Dauntless. Be dauntless. I timed the lightening with my foot steps, listening closely for the whispers of something lurking in the dark, my stomach clenching every time the thunder clapped. I made it to the door, I yanked it open only to find Eric. An angry Eric. His face was red and he was grinding his teeth, he came at me and caught me by the throat before i could turn to run. "Eric?! ERIC!" I clutched his wrist trying to remove him hand but he pressed me against the wall and held me there. "Peter? Really? You picked Peter over me? You really think Peter could love you? No one can love you May. Don't you know that?" His face was inches from my and my heart was racing wildly. I could smell the liquor on his breath and he was so close to me. Too close to me. "Eric please. There's nothing with Peter! Please don't do this." His hand tightened around my neck, tears stung my eyes. Suddenly I was dropped to the floor, Eric looking down on me. "You're not even worth killing. You don't matter. And you never will. No one wants you. No one cares. Everyone left you. You'll die here. Alone. You'll be factionless." Eric moved to the side and suddenly the blood filled hallway caught my eye. Peter lay dead, his blood spread across the floor. "NO! NO PETER NO!" I screamed so hard my throat ached and I scrambled for him. "MAY!" Erics voice boomed again and I cowarded to the floor, looking back at him. His own gun raised to his temple. "Eric no. Eric please. No." Tears were streaming my face as I sobbed, begging him to stop all of this. "Choose me. Choose me May. I don't want to do this without you. I won't." His face was stone cold. "Eric you're not making any sense!" My sobs wracked my chest and I tried to stand but slipped on the blood that now seemed to surround me. "You didn't love me enough." Eric pulled the trigger.

[klassicallyk]

He had just turned 18, and I was on my way to 17, when he told me he loved me. We were young, foolish… But damn, we were in love. I was nothing more than a book loving wall flower that he picked out of a field of roses and daisies. He wore leather jackets and nice fitting pants and had messy hair that I loved to pull my fingers through. We were the most unlikely couple, but we were our towns lovebirds. Everyone knew I was his and he was mine and anyone that dared to mess with that was in for a fight. He was reckless, I was safe. He was a fighter and I was a lover. I had big dreams, and his big dreams were of me. We told my parents that we planned on getting married in the spring and I have never seen Mamas face turn that white, I’ve never heard Daddy quite so angry and I had never been so afraid of them. I clung to his shirt as Mama tried to pull me away from him and Daddy pushed him out the door. I was heart broken. I was shattered. “He’s trash.” They said, “You’re going places and that boy is going to find himself in the county jail. You won’t see him again. You can bet on that. You’ll thank us.” I cried for what felt like days locked up in that house. He only came by once, and Mama was quick to lock me inside my room and I pounded that door until my hands were so sore they could’ve bled. He tried to come in but Daddy wouldn’t let him and one punch to the face had Mama calling the police and they took him away. Mama called him unstable. I didn’t eat for almost 2 days. It had been almost two weeks and I thought I would never see him again. I was barely let out of the house and when I was I was with Mama or Daddy. I searched the streets for him as we drove into town, I searched for his friends… I saw no one. I felt more alone than I ever had in my life. I knew he had given up on me and moved on. I just knew it. It was late one Sunday night, I was almost asleep, and I could hear the smallest of tapping from my window. My heart fluttered faster than I could move and I threw open the window and got a pebble to the forehead and it didn’t even matter. He was standing on the grass below, hand full of rocks, leather jacket and messy hair. “Run away with me.” He was whispering just loud enough for me to hear him and I ran back into my bedroom just long enough to grab my coat, shoes, and my bag with barely enough money in it to buy a bus ticket and I was scaling the side of the house. My fingers found their way into his hair and I could feel his heart beating against mine and I have never been so in love. He had bags packed and money saved and he was prepared to steal me away. We walked in the dark of night until we couldn’t walk anymore and found ourselves a bench to sit on until the bus came to get us. The chill of the wind caught me off guard and I tugged my coat tighter around myself as I leaned into him. I pulled my knees up to my chest and he threw his arm around me. I clung to that leather jacket for dear life, no one was going to take him from me. He laid his head on mine and I felt myself drifting off to sleep, safe and warm with the love of my life by my side. The bus would be here in a few hours, and we were going to start the rest of our lives.

[impossible-k]

Treacherous Part 4

Part one: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144110516858/treacherous-pt1 Part two: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144112146468/treacherous-part-2 Part three: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144166262753/treacherous-part-3 Eric left me standing there, and headed to what I assumed was the kitchen. I looked around at his apartment and realized it wasn't at all how I assumed Eric's living quarters would be. It wasn't rough, or rugged. It was dark mahogany and leather. It was granite counter tops and lots and lots of appliances. "It's nice to be on top." He smirked at me, double meanings dripping from his smile. He dropped what looked like diced chicken in a frying pan with broccoli. "You eat veggies?" I asked him accusingly, sitting down at his counter. "You gotta eat right if you wanna have muscles like these." Eric smirked. "What exactly was that?" I referred to only a few moments ago, furrowing my brow again, my Erudite working its hardest. "What?" "Why do you torture me? You're awful to me. You call me all kinds of sexist, derogatory things. You get mad when I kiss you. And then you kiss me... What is that?" I watched his face contort for a minute before he finally answered. "Look when you got here, I remembered you. Good and well. With an ass like that who wouldn't." He pointed his spoon at me, "Number boy made some comment about me controlling myself. We ended up making a bet. A bet I lost when you kissed me. Not that he'll ever know about that." "Remembered me?" I was lost. "Erudite. Daughter of Leena and Pascal. Neighbor to Percy, son of-" "Scott and Fran whose son went to dauntless." It Hit me just like a brick and I tried not to make a face but I failed. "I changed." He shrugged, a smug look on his face. "Your mom cried for weeks." It escaped my mouth faster than I could catch it. "Faction before family." He shrugged it off, turning back to the stove. Memories of "Percy" flooded back, "You beat up my brother all the time. You were awful. You lied, and stole... You used to climb in my bedroom at night and-" He held up a hand to stop me. "And you promised not to talk about that. I was a different person "Rowan". So were you." "You look different. You're not so skinny and short anymore." I changed the subject quickly, not wanting to remember him that way. But I could feel the way his tears felt on my skin. "You look pretty much exactly the same." His voice was deep, chuckling in amusement. "So Four told you not to get near me?" I took my plate from him, suddenly starving. He waited for me to take a bite before responding. "We had a little bet going that I could keep things strictly business until after the initation ceremony. Apparently he thinks I can't control myself." He smirked, clearly his words rang true. "You couldn't just ignore me? You had to torture me?" I jabbed my fork at him, he didn't even flinch. "I had to keep your attention some how. Eat." I took another bite, my stomach thanking me with every forkful. "Where'd you learn to cook Per- Eric?" I caught myself, watching one of Eric's eyebrows raise. "I like food." I finished my plate, resisting the urge to lick my plate. "So all this time, you knew who I was. You remembered me, and you never said anything? You just made my life hell." This time I was irritated. "Look Rowan, it's not as simple as that." He cocks his head at an angle, taking my plate from me. "So what? Your plan is to seduce me to make up for your shit?" He almost chokes, trying not to laugh. "Seduce you? You assaulted me on the mat. You kissed me Rowan. You started this." The dishes clank around in his sink, "Did you like dinner?" "Okay but what is "this" exactly?" I used my fingers are quotations. "Rowan, did you like dinner?" Eric asks again, walking around the counter. "Yeah it was great. But Eric I don't get any of this. What is the point in this? Why am i here? Why did you kiss me? We're not kids anymore." His lips crashed back on to mine and this time I found Percy. His kiss drug me back to years and years ago, just kids, lost. And then Eric was back, demanding and forceful, fingers knotted at the nape of my neck in my hair, lips trailing down to my collar bone, nipping and sucking any way he pleased. "I've wanted you since the day you got off that train. It took me a day," he rested his forehead against mine, both of us breathing heavy, "One day Rowan to realize why I wanted you. It's you. The only thing I missed leaving that hell hole." I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and nuzzled his nose with mine. "Eric what do you want from me?" I closed my eyes, taking in who Percy was now. I wasn't the strong one anymore, he was. "I want you. Just you. Always. I want you to only want me. None of that Peter shit. No Four." His voice was a low deep growl and I could feel it in my lower tummy. "Right now?" I opened my eyes and looked into those familiar icy eyes. "Yes." I was lifted from the chair to the bar in an instant, Eric trailing kisses through my shirt down to my pants, skillfully slipping his hands into the rolls of my sweatpants, slipping them off of me. My mouth was dry, my stomach clenched. He kissed the insides of my thighs, and I thought I was going to come undone. He nuzzles his nose against my panties and I gasped. He grinned. "How far have you been Rowan?" He nips at my thighs, kissing them after. My heart is fluttering out of my chest. I don't even look good right now. I look like a wreck. I haven't shaved. I'm not even wearing matching panties. "What do you mean?" My voice was strained, trying to stay calm. "With a guy. What have you done? How far have you been?" He nuzzles his nose back into my folds through my panties and I can't help but buck a little. "Eric." I grab his face in my hands and pull him back up to my face. "I was a virgin when you left." I held onto his face and tried to decipher what was happening in his stormy eyes. "I was gone for almost 2 years." He looks at me, baffled. "I know that." My hands were shaking. "Okay. Okay." Now Eric looks nervous, he's lost his bravado. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I trace his eyebrow with my thumb, terrified at his response. "I don't- I've never been with a virgin. I don't want to hurt you Rowan. I want you to like this." Big bad Eric lifted me off the bar and held me around his waist again, his head pressed against mine. "Can we just go slow with it?" I asked shakily, pressing closer to his lips. He met mine, his tongue tracing my lip. He walked us into his bedroom, not once breaking our kiss, his tongue slipping into my mouth when my back hit the mattress. He pulled his shirt off, his muscles rippling. I watched with excited eyes as he dipped back in between my thighs, pressing a kiss to my clit through my panties. My stomach lurched. He crawled up over my body, pulling my shirt off over my head as his hands trailed my body. "I wanted to do this before I ever left home." He murmured into my neck as he nipped down to my breasts. A moan escapes me as he presses one finger inside me, "Oh you're already so wet." He attacks my mouth again as he pumps a single rough thick finger in and out of me, his thumb rubbing circles on my clit. I realize I'm moaning into his mouth and catch myself, falling silent. "Oh no, you don't go quiet on me. I like to hear what you're feeling." Eric pushes two fingers inside, an audible and loud gaps escapes me and I'm embarrassed but he doesn't stop. "Let me hear you baby." He pumped his fingers in and out, and my stomach starts to clench, a tight ball forming. He's hungrily kissing me, his hands skillfully working me, stretching me. I felt like I fell off a cliff, and I came all over his hand, the ball In my stomach relaxing. "That's it. That was good, baby." He kisses my jaw, down my bare belly and to my soaked panties, pulling them off with his teeth. The ball starts forming again. He licks everything that just came out of me and ends up against my clit, his mouth closing around it, Sucking hard. "Eric!" I buck my hips up to his face but his hand on my hip keeps me in place, his other hand has ahold my wrists, keeping me from pushing him away. It felt better than I ever imagined it feeling. I flashback to me at 16, Percy trying to get to second base. Let alone this. The ball in my stomach tightens and I'm on the edge of my cliff again when he stops, and I'm confused. "Let me teach you something." He pulled me from my position, to my knees on the floor, him sitting on the edge of the bed, "You don't have to, but would you try? I can teach you." I look at his erection as he pulls his pants off and my heart stops. I feel almost sick from being so nervous. "Okay." I look up at him, taking his member in my grasp. He put his hand around mine, giving me a rhythm and a grip. "Oh Jesus." He moans as he lets go of me, letting me try on my own. He seems satisfied and his eyes are closed, laid back on his elbows. I take a chance, a blind chance, I run my tongue along the underside of him, and I feel him come alive, his whole body jumps, and the sound that comes out of him was made in his chest. I look up at him, probably beaming. He looks proud. "Alright champ, why don't you try the whole thing." He cocks an eye brow at me and I accept his challenge. I put his tip in my mouth, pulling my hair away from my face. He takes it from me, placing one of my hands around his base. "Have at it, if you think you can." I felt lost, but I went with it. I took as much of him as I thought I could handle, backing in and out slowly. I felt something move under my tongue and he stiffened in my mouth, he pulled me away from his and crashed his lips back on mine, quickly flipping me underneath him on the bed. "Was it bad?" "Jesus, no. No. God no." He dug his face into my neck, spreading my legs apart with his own, "Rowan this might hurt. Tell me." His eyes were serious and hard, but he knew me. And he knew I would ride it out. "I will." I licked my lips, dragging my nails across his back, trying to bring him closer to me. "Nose twitched. Rowan I mean it." He stayed solid as a rock, his face like stone. "You tell me if I need to stop." "Yes sir." I watched his face flicker amusement and pure lust before he pressed his head into me. I could feel my heart get stuck in my chest. He slid in slowly, filling every part of me. I could feel every inch of him, I could feel him in my tummy. It hurt, but it felt so good. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, I couldn't make a sound. "Rowan." Eric was watching my face. "I'm okay." I nodded, looking past him at the ceiling. "Nose twitch. And you're crying." Eric leaned his head down onto my shoulder, "This was stupid. I knew better." "Eric, please. Please don't stop." I locked my legs around his ass to stop him. "But Rowan-" "No." I locked eyes with him and made myself clear, "I want this." Eric slowly sank back into me, filling me until he reached my back wall. "Eric don't be a wimp." I was fighting back the tears while savoring every second of how he felt inside of me. "Oh a wimp?" He murmured into my neck, nipping at the sensitive skin. He started picking up speed, the pain quickly fading away and pleasure filling its place. My back arched, a moan escaping my lips before I could register it. He kissed down my chest, sucking and biting on my nipples. My nails buried deep into his back, pulling him back to me again and again. The tight ball in my stomach was building and I was having a hard time staying quiet. "Come on Rowan. Let me hear you come baby." Eric wove his hand in my hair and pulled my head back kissing my neck, sucking and nipping in all the right places. "Eric! Oh god!" I was bucking underneath him as his thumb found my clit and I came all over him. His mouth caught mine and I felt him stiffen inside of me, I felt his hot cum spill inside of me and mingle with my own. His body was still, but he was kissing me. His mouth never leaving mine as he slowly slid out of me. He pulled me to him as he rolled over and pulled me in top of his chest. There was an odd look in his eyes i couldn't place. "Are you okay?" His deep voice rumbled in his chest, my body vibrating with it. "Yes, a hundred times yes." I patted his chest with one hand, my eyes feeling heavy. "Let's go get cleaned up." He shifted me, rolling me onto my feet as he scooted off the end, yanking the wet comforter onto the floor. "Like, in the shower?" I looked at him warily. "We just had sex Rowan, what are you nervous about?" He chuckled, slapping my ass tenderly, pushing me towards the bathroom. I growled at him, "Don't touch my ass." He pressed his front against my back and walked me to the shower, arms encircling me. He turned the water on, and pulled my face back to his, kissing me softly. "I've wanted this for a long time." He looked into my eyes, they were colored like ice, but no longer so cold. "I came here because of you. I just... I didn't know it was you." I admitted it for the first time. I'd started training when my brother Lucas had left for Candor and Percy had left for Dauntless. I would have followed Percy anywhere. I did. But he wasn't the same Percy anymore. I stepped in the shower and Eric followed me in, his hands roaming my body, holding me close. My lower abdomen muscles ached in protest, but I leaned back into Eric, letting him rub soap all over me, washing every delicate area. I looked over my shoulder at him while he washed his own hair and for a moment the scrawny boy who used to climb my terrace crying at night, was back in this shower with me. Then the soap washed Percy away and Eric turned to look at me. I stood on my tippy toes and waited for him to lean down so I could kiss him, my hands trailing down his abs to his base. "Oh?" Eric smirked, kissing me harder, he lifted me, pressing my back against the glass wall of the shower, lifting me up and lining himself up with me. "Yes." I kissed him harder and he thrusted inside of me, my swollen walls hugging him tightly. The water beat down on us and I let Eric fill me once again. I woke up naked, sprawled out across a naked Eric, his face buried in my hair. My body ached. Every inch. I was hooked and wanted more. I slowly untangled myself from him and pulled the covers back, kissing from his belly button down. I wrapped my mouth around his balls like he'd taught me and sucked softly, his dick standing up almost immediately. He started to stir as I took him in my mouth, going as far down as I could. "Rowan? What are you doing?" Eric looked at me sleepily. I had already woken him twice in the night for this same reason. "You're gonna kill me. I'm out." He shifted away from me and on his side. "Hey." I crossed my arms. "Quit pouting. Get your ass up here." He picked up his arm for me to crawl under but I didn't move. "Sex. Now." I crawled on top of him slowly, turning him back onto his back. "No." He rolled, pulling me underneath him, and going limp. "Oh god you're squishing me!" I was all arms, the muscles in my legs were so sore they didn't want to listen. "You're fine. Just go back to sleep." He nuzzled his face in my neck and not a moment later he was snoring. I gave up, sighing heavily. I snuggled into him and started thinking back to the last time he'd slept in my bed. The last night he was in Erudite. He crawled my terrace like always, silent as a mouse. "May, wake up." Percy pushed me, trying to make room in my bed for him too. "What?" I groaned, wiggling over just enough for him to slip in next to me. "Wake up. I want to talk to you." He kissed my forehead, willing me to get up. "Okay. Talk." I pulled him to me and curled into his chest. "I'm not staying here May." My heart sank, suddenly I was awake. "What?" I pushed away from him, staring at his figure in the dark. "I'm going to Dauntless. That's what my test said. That's where I want to go." I could hear my pulse in my ears. "You were supposed to stay here with me Percy. We were going to stay together." Anger spiked my words. "May, I need you to underst-" "I don't want to understand. I WANT you." I shoved him, not managing to make much space between us. I rolled over, turning my back to face him, "Go home Percy." "No." He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me in. "I want you to leave." I told him angrily. Refusing to face him. "I'm Dauntless now. We do what we want. And I want to spend tonight with you May. Right here." He leaned in and kissed my neck, his hold on me never faltering, "You can come to Dauntless with me when it's your turn." "I would never make it there." I fought back tears as I curled into him, his body folding around me. The truth was I didn't think Percy would make it either. "Just think about it. Okay?" He kissed my hair. We laid in silence, neither of us talking or moving. Both too afraid to fall asleep and miss a moment of being together. I woke with a start to three heavy thuds on the front door, Eric never moved. "ERIC!" Four was screaming, angry. "Eric! Eric. You have to wake up." I shifted underneath him, our bodies stuck together. "Shhhh. Sleep Thunder Thighs." He chuckled to himself, rolling onto his side. "No Eric! Four is HERE." I slapped his chest, shaking him awake. "For fucks sake." "ERIC! YOU'RE LATE FOR TRAINING AND WE HAVE MISSING INITIATES. LETS GO!" Four pounded on the door, relentlessly this time. "Don't get up." He drug a hand across his face, and got out of bed. Completely naked he walked to the door, just out of sight. "What?" Eric threw open the door, letting it all hang out. "What the hell." Four sounded disgusted and angry. "I'm sick." Eric was drumming his fingers against the metal door. "Get your ass dressed and meet me on the shooting range." Four left in a disgruntled hurry. "Where the hell have you been?" Lysh shoved me hard, obviously upset. "I fell asleep in the showers after training." I lied to her face, knowing damn well not to tell. I had gotten the biggest lecture of my life this morning about keeping my mouth shut until I was through initiation. I didn't want to risk Eric's position, or my own. Not to mention he couldn't lose his bet to Four. Training went by seamlessly. Eric ignored me and teased me per usual. We were packing up to leave when Peter stepped on the back of my shoe, making me pause to fix it. "You know, you didn't make it back to the dorms last night. I was worried." Peter pouted tauntingly. "Fuck off Peter." I stand up, dusting off my hands, "I don't mind breaking your nose again." "Oh, don't get me wrong Thunder, I'm genuinely concerned for your well being. You could have been hurt." The taunting in his voice was thick and heavy, his eyes looking dangerous. "Not with you locked up." I threw my hair up, watching his every move. The shooting range was empty now, even Eric had cleared out. "Listen, we can put that all behind us now. You have something I want." His voice was sickeningly sweet, he hovered closer, hooking his finger under my chin, "I want to do you a favor." I said nothing, just stared at him, confused. "Word has it, you're trying to bulk up. Build some muscle. I can help you." His words hung in the air between us. "No thank you." I backed away, only to realize I'd been backed into a wall. "Oh come on Rowan." He laughed, like what he was saying was that simple. "Excuse me?" "Let's just help each other out." He hooked his fingers in my waist band and i felt my throat dry up. "Peter, fuck off." I pushed his chest but he didn't move. "Rowan dont be like that. Come on, look at me. I'm the best looking guy here." He pressed his body flush up against mine and my instincts kicked in. My knee flew up between his legs, but he blocked me, trapping my leg with his and throwing me to the floor. He towered over me, "Just think about it." Peter smiled smugly and walked back into the compound. I laid on the floor and watched the clouds dance in the sky. How was I ever going to beat Peter in a fight.

[impossible-k]

Treacherous Part 3

Part one: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144110516858/treacherous-pt1
Part two: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144112146468/treacherous-part-2 Morning training is target practice and all goes well. Eric is pushing me harder than ever and making me go first at everything. Peter trips me once, and knocks me while I’m shooting twice, missing the target entirely.
The day drags on, and my hatred for Peter only grows.
I flick him in the nose when I walk by him, and he screams.
“Rowan, I think you need to skip dinner again tonight. It’s not nice to pick on little girls.” Four seems utterly amused.
My heart skips a beat and I’m shaking my head and chasing after Four before my words had formed.
“No! No Four please! I can’t!” I was clinging to his sleeve when he turned to look at me.
“You obviously didn’t learn enough last night, and I think another session will do you good.”
“What did I ever do to you?” I’m begging him with every ounce of self respect I had left.
“8:30 on the dot initiate.” Four turns to leave me and I feel Eric’s eyes on me from the other end of the range. I can’t bring myself to look at him but I feel his glare.
I walk past Peter, flicking him in the nose for good measure.
He screamed.
“ROWAN!”
If I was in trouble already, might as well enjoy it. I was waiting in the gym before dinner started.
I had wrapped my hands, worn a full Tshirt and sweat pants. I was ready to train and only train.
I sat and waited for Eric but he never came.
Dinner had come and gone but Eric never stepped foot into the room.
I realized the mistake I had made last time, but this time around I was hungry. I skipped dinner to sit by myself and wait for some ass hat that didn’t even bother to show up.
My frustration fueled me. And I was storming towards the leaders apartments before my mind had time to clear. I stormed past Four, who called out to me and I ignored. I stormed past several of the other initiates and I honestly didn’t care.
I was going to teach that prick a thing or two.
I pounded my fist against his door.
“WHAT?!” The door flew open, Eric stood fuming in front of me. The same way I felt.
“How the fuck are you going to make me miss dinner and not even show up? Are you that big of a chicken Eric? One innocent kiss has you running for the hills? Too afraid to be alone with me?” I had my finger dug into his chest, annunciating every other word.
He puffed out his chest, the hatred in his eyes unwavering.
I wasn’t done.
“You know what you’re doing right? Over compensating? Big man has to have all this dominance… He’s making up for something.” I squinted my eyes at him, his jaw clenched.
“You think you’re so big and bad and you’re not. You’re just a big chicken pretending to be something you’re not.” I waited but he didn’t say a word. He looked into my eyes and never moved.
“Are you done now?” His voice held some kind of laughter and it was fuel to my already gigantic fire.
“NO IM NOT FUCKING DONE. DO YOU THINK IM KIDDING-”
He grabbed my head in both his hands and trapped my lips in his.
My world seemed to stop spinning for a moment and my fire was was now just a small smoldering flame.
And then it was raging more than before.
I slammed my hands into his chest and pushed away from him, only to come back swinging.
I clocked him one in the chin before he caught me.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” I slammed my head into his chest as hard as I could, since it was the only thing I could move.
“Would you shut up? Damn.” Eric pulled me inside and slammed the door behind him.
My back was up against the wall, crushed against him. My arms pinned above my head.
“Listen here,” his breath fanned my face as I looked up into his eyes, “I’m gonna let go and you’re gonna quit hitting me. Do you understand?”
I didn’t make a sound.
He backed up, slowly releasing my arms.
“Why the hell are you kissing me? Huh? Some sick sadistic joke? Making fun of me for the other day? I made a mistake Eric.” I didn’t move from the wall, I tucked my arms around myself, my eyes never leaving his.
“Oh a mistake? So that kiss was a fluke? Meaningless?” He’s raising one eye brow at me, almost laughing. He’s completely amused.
“Yes.” 
He laughed aloud, leaning back against his couch.
“Rowan I’m gonna let you in on a little secret,” he crosses his arms against his well built chest, “Your nose twitches when you lie.”
My hand naturally flew up to my face, suddenly self conscious.
“I’m not lying.” I furrowed my brow at him.
“Really?” He stalks closer to me and my heart skips a beat, one hand under my chin and another against my cheek, holding me still.
His lips close over mine again, this time a little less rough, still just as hungry.
I find myself kissing him back this time, my breath that I was holding escaping my lungs.
One of my hands found its way to the nape on his neck, pulling him closer to me, the other locked onto the collar of his shirt.
He ran his hands down my back and to my thighs, he lifted me up to straddle him, my back up against the wall. I tangled a hand in his hair as he groped my thighs with such force I could feel the bruises already.
He broke the kiss to kiss down my jaw, my neck, all the way to my collar bones. Stopping before he reached my shirt.
“Meaningless?” He murmured into the sensitive skin of my neck, I felt my thighs quiver.
“This isn’t right Eric.” I was hoarse, my voice betraying me.
My mind was swimming at this point. What the fuck was happening?
“You’re dauntless aren’t you? Dauntless break the rules Rowan.” He nipped at my flesh and I jumped.
I went for his lips when he pulled back to look at me, but he moved away from me, untangling my legs from himself.
I stood, confused.
“You wanna bitch you missed dinner? You’re gonna get dinner.”

[impossible-k]

Treacherous Part 2

Part one: http://impossible-k.tumblr.com/post/144110516858/treacherous-pt1 I broke Peters nose, and he had bruising around his beck where both of my tiny hands had been, but ultimately he was fine. He stayed in the infirmary most of the afternoon and I was counting down the hours until my one on one with Four. My stomach clenched. Not that four would ever do anything with me, but damn was he pretty. One on one training was definitely going to help me build my muscle, and I didn't mind being that close to him by any means. I pulled my hair back in a braided bun and put on a little mascara. Couldn't hurt. My cheeks flushed. "Damn it I like him." I cursed at myself in the mirror and finished cleaning up. "No dinner Rowan?" Lysha (a fellow transfer) asked, grinning mischievously. "I've got extra training as punishment for beating up Peter." I shrugged trying to be nonchalant. "With Four." She grinned wildly now, slugging me in the shoulder. "It's just training Lysh." I nudged her shoulder as we walked the corridors talking about bantering. "Yo Thunder Thighs." My good mood almost disappeared. "Sir." I greeted Eric as he walked towards us, I tried to squeeze by him but he grabbed my arm. "You're not trying to skip out on punishment?" Eric grinned evilly. "I'm headed to meet Four now sir." I pulled against him but he didn't budge. "You think Number boy is training you? Sorry initiate this is punishment not karma sutra." Eric laughed, and let go of me. "Follow me." I cold feel the lump in my throat rise. I looked at Lysh for help but she just looked equally as terrified. "Again." I stepped back and raised my fists, another pattern flying from me to the punching bags, My knuckles bleeding. "You're punching with your chicken arms." "Well what else am I supposed to punch with Eric." I rolled my eyes at him, completely exhausted. "Ooo Thunder thighs caught an attitude." He smirked, raising an eye brow. "Well maybe if you'd actually tell me how to get better then we could be done by now." I huffed at him, pushing my luck. We'd been here for hours. It was well past curfew. "Eric I'm tired." "Again." He barked, walking behind me. I lined up my feet, completely defeated and started in on the punching bag. His hands were suddenly on my hips and my breath caught in my throat. He nudged my feet with his and repositioned my stance. "Keep all of your power in your core. Keep your arms close and quit flailing them around." He grasped my elbows and pulled them in towards my torso. My face was flushed and I wasn't sure if it was from the work out or the sudden physical contact. "Again." He backed up, and I started swinging, suddenly rocking the bag much harder. "Good. Now," his back was pressed up against mine as he put a hand on my stomach, "Don't move this part of your body. This is where you want to pull your swing from." He pressed my body between his back and his hand. "Okay." It came out more hoarse than I had planned. He chuckled in my ear. "Swing." He didn't move, he kept himself firmly planted around me. I swung and felt him holding my center in place, not Letting me lose my momentum. "Much better." His mouth still rested dangerously close to my ear and my heart was beating out of my chest, "Don't get too excited Tush." He patted my ass, laughing. He turned away from me. "Don't touch my ass." My voice escapes me and it was more forceful than I meant it to be. I stayed in my fighting position towards the punching bag. "I'll touch what ever I want initiate." He barked back, his mouth resting just behind my ear. His hand hand grazed my shorts. "I said don't touch me." I turned on my heel and punched out, trying to hit him in the chest, only to be blocked. "You wanna tussle? Get your ass on the mat." Dauntless. You are dauntless. I squared up with him, my feet in position, my raw knuckles ready to fight. I took him in, watching his stance. I did my best to copy it. My heart was pounding and I knew I had just signed my death certificate. His breathing was calm and even. "Begin." I fake swung for his face, and brought my heel up, striking him across his cheek bone. Before my foot could hit the ground he had his hand under my knee and brought me up to straddle him with one foot still on the ground. I didn't even have a chance to take a breath before it was knocked out of me, flat of my back against the mat. He pinned my arms above my head and my legs pinned between his. "That's what happens when you're predictable. You always kick. That's the only thing you've got going for you Rowan." His face was inches from mine, and I couldn't breathe. "I'm not that predictable." I locked eyes with him. Studying the silvery blue of his eyes. It hit home, they seemed familiar. "Then surprise me initiate." Eric laughed, cruel and amused. I bucked my hips up to meet his, catching him off guard, his face dipping ever closer to mine. I caught his lips with my own and I felt him lose his grip on my arms for a split second. Long enough for me to slip my hands through his hold and grab his torso. I swung one leg around his and flipped him flat of his back, straddling him. "Consider yourself surprised, sir." I smiled smugly. The look on his face was not amused. It was not happy. There was pure rage on his face and I felt my stomach flip. The severity of what I had just done hit me. I climbed off of him and stood up straight, waiting for him to say something. He stood up slowly. "Get to your dorm. Now." His voice was low, almost growling at me. I turned without another word and almost sprinted out of the practice room. The doors were locked, sealed shut with no way in. It was later than I thought. I was too afraid to go back to Eric and I wasn't sure what else to do. So I sat. I sat by those doors and that's where I stayed until Four found me. "Rowan wake up." I grunted, throwing my arm at him. "Wake-" he grunted as he picked me up off the ground, up." I was over his shoulder, his arm thrown across my thighs. "Let me sleep Four." It came out as more of a whine then a demand and he laughed. I heard the doors slide open, and he put his access key back in his pocket. "He really did a number on you, didn't he?" Four chuckles and he sets me back on my feet, I can see my empty cot no more than a few hundred feet away. "You tricked me." I glared at him. "It was punishment for both of you." He chuckled again and Ruffled my hair, "Go sleep." I turned my back on him and shuffled to my cot, not bothering to take off my clothes. What felt like minutes later, Lysh was on top of me, waking me up. "Where were you? What happened? Are you okay? Look at your hands! God you stink." "Lyyyyysh." I griped, shoving my pillow over my face. "Rowan come on! Tell me over breakfast!" She pulled me out of bed and I had never wanted to hurt someone so bad. We showed up for morning grub, I was barefoot, I had left in such a hurry last night I forgot to grab my shoes. "I kissed him." I swear I saw Lysha's jaw hit the floor. "IM SORRY WHAT." A few heads turned and j immediately shushed her. "Shut up." I pushed her to keep her moving down the food line, "It was an accident. I didn't even think about it." "I can't believe that. He hates you Rowan why on earth would you think that was a good idea?" Lysh was astonished and honestly so was I. "I have no idea what came over me." I started to explain what happened when a familiar voice called out his favorite nickname for me. "Thunder!" I looked to see Eric sitting alone at the leader table. I looked back at Lysh and back to Eric. "Go." She nudged me forward, then walked, leaving me behind. He motioned for me to come over. My heart stopped. My feet started moving without my permission and my heart was threatening to pound out of my chest. "Sir?" I stopped several feet away from his table. "Sit." He pointed to the bench across from him and I did tentatively. I looked at him, waiting for him to say something but he didn't. He continued to eat his massive plate of food. "Eat. You didn't eat dinner." Those were the only words he said to me the entire meal. When he finished he picked up his trash and left. I sat speechless. "You two must have hit it off." Four is chuckling as he sits down in Eric's spot. "I don't know what happened." I answered honestly, watching him dump his trash, not looking my way once. "Just keep your head up." Four smiles mischievously.

[impossible-k]

Treacherous pt.1

Eric always had a weird fascination with me. He kept careful eyes on me, always. Now, maybe I wouldn't mind if he wasn't such an ass. I could catch him watching me in the caf, the pit, during training... It was always a hateful look. A glare. He made my skin crawl. Something about him just wasn't right. He always teased me during training, or anytime he was within earshot really. I have muscular legs, that's mainly what saved me during fights. If I could get my legs around the opponents neck, or a hard enough kick to the face, they were done for. But my arms and my core were still weak, and Eric constantly teased me about it. "Thick thighs but you could still snap her in half." "Good fight thunder thighs." "Don't squish anyone with your ass today, okay Tush?" "Can't defend yourself when your arms look like toothpicks." It had become pretty normal. He'd either growl them into my ear or shout them across the training room to embarrass me. I was handling it well, Four kept telling me just to ignore him and brush him off. And then Peter started in on me. He would constantly grab at my ass, pinching just under at my thighs, leaving bruises on bruises. "I'm gonna fucking kill you. Quit touching me." We were in training, waiting for and watching fights. He had sauntered up behind me and grabbed an entire cheek in his hand, ducking before my hand could connect with his face. "Gotta be quicker than that Thunder." He grinned mischievously and bounced back and forth on his feet, waiting for me to go after him again. "Save it for the mat." I glared at him, turning back towards the fight, and all I could feel was my hatred for him burning deep in my belly. We weren't scheduled to fight anytime soon from what I saw, and I was thankful for that in the long run. Peter was bigger than me, and taller. And certainly stronger. The only thing i had on him was speed, and Peter wasn't that slow himself. He could, and would, knock me out in an instant. He held nothing back, ever. "Oh come on Thunder Thighs." A hard slap landed on my ass, sounding much louder than anticipated surely. Before I could stop myself I swung my barefoot around and connected with his cheek. "QUIT TOUCHING ME YOU PRICK." Peter sat on the floor, holding his face but smirking. "What now? Gonna punch me? With your chicken arms?" Peter was so confident it burned me, I was shaking. I hadn't even noticed the entire gym had stopped to watch. I didn't notice Four storming towards us, I didn't notice Eric laughing hysterically. All I could focus on was Peters smug face. And I dove for it. The moments that followed are very hard for me to remember. All I know is that I fixed his crooked nose, and I was yanked off of him before he passed out from me strangling him. "ROWAN!" Four's voice boomed above my head as I struggled and fought him with everything in me. I needed to finish Peter. I wanted him dead. "NO!" I screeched, dragging my nails across Fours arms, "LET GO!" Four bear hugged me and drug me out of the practice room, kicking and screaming, everyone watching speechless. "CALM DOWN!" Four was furious, and not struggling at all to keep me still. "LET ME KILL HIM!" I screeched, still trying to fight him. "You're gonna sit your ass down and quit acting like a child." Four hissed in my ear as he dropped me against the hard ground. "He's the one who's acting like a child! He won't stop grabbing me and touching me! You don't get it." I crossed my arms and pouted like the kid I was trying to prove I wasn't. "Look I'm not saying he didn't deserve it. What I'm saying is you need to calm down. You just proved to me that you CAN fight. And what you've been doing on the mat is subpar." Four is smirking down at me and I feel my stomach clench, god he's pretty. "Now this can't go unpunished. Fighting off the mat isn't allowed. You'll skip dinner tonight and you can have some one on one training." I relaxed, "That's it?" "Yeah. One on one." Four chuckled, walking back towards the gym. My heart stopped. Oh god. Oh. God.