❝ that's my THANG.

this is a roleplay blog for Phil Dunphy from Modern Family. this blog will mainly be used for comic relief and not very many serious threads will happen here. will write with anyone and everyone. ( links are currently under construction. )

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           also, STARTER CALL. i’ll try to get to these            before the day is over. i’ve just been so meh            this week, and stressing over ooc shit. i            sincerely apologize for the absence.

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claiiiredunphy.

         it had been a while since any major sparks had flown          between the two of them. once again the kids had          taken over their lives and FINALLY when they had           gotten some time alone, phil had gotten overzealous          and like many night before, she had fallen asleep          frustrated. 

                      but then—she awoke, tingly and smirking as she                       felt wet lips on her inner thigh. now this was this                       was a surprise she liked.    

                       ❝ phil, ❞ she moaned, running a hand through                        his hair. 

         he felt his wife react to the kisses he was placing,          and then heard his name being moaned from her          still somewhat sleepy voice. it caused him to smirk          to himself. there wasn’t gonna be any accidents this          morning -- -- no hurting his back, no falling off of          the bed, no LAME JOKES to completely ruin the          mood. he’s done all of this way too much in the past,          and even though he knew claire loved his lame          jokes and his goofy personality, he also knew that          every once in a while she needed something like          this. just pure passion, with no comedic relief. he          wanted to make his wife feel good.          with that in mind, phil hooked his fingers beneath          the waistband of her panties that UNFORTUNATELY          didn’t get removed the night before because of his          terrible back pain. he slowly slipped them down her          long legs and discarded them somewhere beneath          the sheets before repositioning himself once more.          he allowed his tongue to gently tease her clit with          a few small licks, his hand roaming up her torso to          slip beneath her shirt and massage her round breast          underneath. he knew that whenever they had a chance          to have sex, it was short-lived and he knew that it          wasn’t the best for her. that was going to change this          morning. this morning, it was ALL about her. his licks          gradually grew heavier, but still kept a slow pace against          her clit. with his free hand, he used one finger to pump          in and out of her slowly, just feeling how wet she would          eventually get. he was still debating on whether or not          he would FUCK her, or just eat her out until she cums.          honestly, right now, as long as she was pleased, that’s          all phil cared about.

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I'm gonna try to download Skype on my phone. If it works, who wants ny Skype?

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So my WiFi still isn't fucking working. I'll have to call about it tomorrow. I'm having a bad day anyways so I'm just gonna drink my beer and chill for the evening. But I'd love to talk to you all so here is my snapchat: xshelbooboo. Hit me up on there, don't be shy. :) I really need to vent today.

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Lol. This is fun. Ily guys. I'm getting kinda drunk now Lord. Sorry for the ooc posts. Anyways, once again, my snapchat is xshelbooboo. So come snapchat me and keep me company while my internet is down! :)

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*pokes my last post* pls? im so lonely and already tipsy and i just *grabby hands bc you're all so lovely and I wanna talk to all of you*

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so yay my wifi isn't working at my apartment. im about to get drunk but here is my snapchat: xshelbooboo. I wanna see all your beautiful faces there since I don't have Skype. Maybe my wifi will come back before the night is over. Honestly I really wanna snapchat with all of you while I get shitfaced. So come talk to a drunk Shelby. :)

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                    Don’t you ever tame your demons,                     But always keep ‘em on a leash.

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    ❝ sometimes it’s hard for me to talk                 about my feelings.                                   plus i’m HIGH most of the time                                              so there’s that. ❞

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Modern family trololo

Favourite Female: Claire Dunphy.

Favourite Male: Phil Dunphy.

3 Other Favourite Characters: Gloria, Jay, and Mitchell.

3 OTPs: Phil/Claire, Haley/Andy, Gloria/Jay.

Notp: Haley/Dylan.

Funniest character: Phil (obviously).

Prettiest character: Claire (i have the biggest crush on claire ever.)

Most Annoying Character: Luke ( he has his moments, but most of the time i do find his character somewhat annoying, but i don’t dislike him ).

Most badass character: Gloria.

Character I’d like as my BFF: Cam.

Female Character I’d Marry: Claire.

Male Character I’d Marry: Phil.

Character I hate/dislike/least like: I honestly don’t dislike any of the characters on this show.

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PARKS && RECS MEME (P1.)

“Just hit a fire hydrant, but I survived. #unbreakable”

“Can I help you move? I’m really good at it! Afterwards I can take the cardboard boxes and use it for breakdancing.”

“I can’t use my GPS, but I figured it out. I just drove around in circles until I saw something familiar.”

“Anything that can be penis shaped, will be penis shaped!”

“You look like Encyclopedia Brown.”

“As your self-appointed emotional guardian, it is my duty to love and support you.”

“The original title of this was: A Lively Fisting.”

“I really like you, and I was wondering if you wanted to get a cup of coffee sometime.”

“IF you had gone to Hogwarts Academy, which house do you think you’d be in?”

“I really need this party to go well, which is why I’m stress eating gummy penises.”

“Well, four years of work down the drain and I have a penis on my head.”

“I hate doing work, but I love being flattered. So maybe I’ll give it another try.”

“Please put your pants back on.”

“ Love? Love fades away. But things … Things are forever.”

“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”

“We’re just friends. He’s like the gayest person I’ve ever met, but I make out with him when I’m drunk sometimes.”

“Earlier, I was licking icing off of my finger and boom, I swallowed my wedding ring.”

“One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine.”

“Oh, one time I rode in a sidecar on a guy’s motorcycle, and the sidecar detached and went down a flight of stairs.”

“ I AM NOT CRYING, OK? I’M ALLERGIC TO JERKS!”

“That looks like something you would find on the wall of a serial killer.”

“ I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.”

“I want to punch you in the face so bad right now.”

“I’d like to say something. You are a wonderful person. Your friendship means a lot to me. And you look very beautiful.”

“But think how much better our friendship would be if we added…doin’ it.”

“I just opened a can of whoop ass on myself!”

“Your/My nickname around the office is Softypants Mchuggable.”

“Let’s cut the bull, alright? You want this. I definitely want this. T.H. wants this. Let’s seal this devil’s threeway right here, right now.”

“We should sue their parents for spawning a human turd burger.”

“I cannot emphasize enough how little I was thinking.”

“Don’t teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man. Fishing’s not that hard.”

“Scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. I believe I am that human being.”

“I typed in your symptoms here and it says you might have… network connectivity problems.”

“One time I was dating this guy for a while, and then he got down on one knee and he begged me never to call him again.”

“ I call noodles long-ass rice. Chicken parm is chicky chicky parm parm. I call eggs pre-birds, or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks…food rakes.”

“I feel great. I ran 5K this morning. No, no I didn’t. I threw up in the shower.”

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life.”

“Catching the number 12 bus to Satan’s butthole?”

“Normally, if given a choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night if it meant nothing got done.”

“One time my refrigerator stopped working and I had no idea what do to! I just moved.”

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OUAT!

Favourite Female: Regina Mills.

Favourite Male: Robin Hood.

3 Other Favourite Characters: Ingrid, Zelena, and Rumple.

3 OTPs: Swan Queen, Outlaw Queen, Rumbelle.

Notp: Captain Swan.

Funniest character: Granny, i mean rly.

Prettiest character: Emma Swan ( Regina is fine as fuck, and sexy as hell, and the most beautiful specimen on earth, but Emma just has the prettiest face ever tbh. )

Most Annoying Character: Henry.

Most badass character: Regina.

Character I’d like as my BFF: Ruby.

Female Character I’d Marry: Regina.

Male Character I’d Marry: David (because he’s husband material).

Character I hate/dislike/least like: Hook.

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Leave a Fandom in my Ask

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Favourite Female:

Favourite Male:

3 Other Favourite Characters:

3 OTPs:

Notp: 

Funniest character:

Prettiest character:

Most Annoying Character:

Most badass character:

Character I’d like as my BFF:

Female Character I’d Marry:

Male Character I’d Marry:

Character I hate/dislike/least like: