Blood and Guts and Brains, Oh My.

Guess you already know this, but my name is Daze. I don't know why I'm here, or how I got here, but I'm here, so accept. I'm fourteen. I'm a "kick ass kid" and I plan to keep it that way.

[iconsferias-deactivated20131007]

[in-a-dazey]

Raise it up.

[the-yellow-ranger]

[darkness-bemyfriend]

The End of the World || Kitty, Daze & Rust

[rusty-rust]

“We can’t afford the hospital!” Rust breathed heavily, his head drowning in his own manic thoughts. His hard was pounding hard against his chest, he mumbled to himself. Rust knew he needed to get them to somewhere safe, somewhere with a doctor or something, not the undergrounds, and hospital wasn’t an option. “Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic.” He whispered to himself. Where would he drive to? Somewhere warm, with medical supplies or something. He thought of his father. His father’s house. Medical supplies. It was close, only a few blocks away. He promised himself that he wouldn’t go back, but there was no other option now. Thrusting the keys quickly in the ignition he shouted back, “Daze?! Daze, listen to me okay? Support her, I’ll drive steady, we’re just going round the corner okay? Just tell her to push or something!” He drove fast and steady, luckily the back of the van was empty.

[darkness-bemyfriend]

Kitty felt the engine of the van rumble into life but she really couldn’t care less at that moment because she was fairly certain that she was seconds away from having her baby. She’d never known anyone who’d had a baby before, certainly never attended a birth, but the pain level was so high she didn’t have a doubt that it was close. She was vaguely aware that she might be cutting off the circulation to Daze’s hand, but again she couldn’t really care. There was the strangest pressure she’d ever known and her throat was raw from crying out and then all of a sudden it stopped hurting so bad and she knew it was done. She inhaled a huge breath and tried to sit up. “Where is it?” she asked, trying to sit up around the aching muscles and residual pain in her stomach. She wanted to see the baby, wanted to know if it was alive. Maybe she’d killed it after all and it was all her fault.

[in-a-dazey]

Daze gasped as the baby was pushed out onto the cold floor of the van. She quickly picked up the baby, and took off her shirt to wrap the baby. "It's here.." Daze said, shocked at the situation. She stared at the baby, with it's red cheeks and blood/nastiness all over it. She used the shirt to wipe off it's face and eyes. The baby begin sobbing, so Daze handed it to Kitty. 

She leaned back and heaved a sigh of relief, but she knew that they still had to get the baby medical attention. "Rust! It happened!" she yelled to the front of the van, maybe he could find someone who knew what to do with a newborn. He did have connections, after all. She glanced over at Kitty with the baby and almost smiled. People were right, birth was a beautiful miracle after all.

[darkness-bemyfriend]

[in-a-dazey]

“I don’t know, Rust. She was lost, there was a fire, she’s pregnant. I think she’s pregnant,” Daze stuttered, as Rust lifted Kitty into his arms. She felt Kitty’s cold hands clutching her, and she gave them a slight squeeze. Barely making out her words, Daze...

[in-a-dazey]

Daze's hands trembled as she opened the door to the van. "We can't afford the hospital!" she yelled to Rust, holding onto Kitty's hand. Kitty was breathing hard, her face was turning red, and all Daze could do was watch her suffer. She could tell when Kitty was having a contraction because she screamed bloody murder and arched her back, squishing up her nose. It was terrifying. Daze's face felt hot as her words sunk in. Daze was going to be delivering this baby.

"I can't! I don't know how to deliver a baby! Rust! Help me!" Daze screamed, not knowing what to do. She felt very of out place in this situation. "Um, Kitty, what do I do first?

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

[in-a-dazey]

Daze followed the map in her head, left on Jefferson, right on 3rd street and a couple blocks down. They were almost to The BackDoor, a club in a back alley. Daze had become friends with the security guard, and he let her in every time. “We’re going to a club, sound fun?” she said with a smirk as they turned down 3rd. They were getting close enough to vaguely hear the music. This club had great music, and it was loud.

“Here it is,” she said, pointing to the door on the side of the brick building. There was graffiti all over the sides, even on the door, which was open with her friend Jackson standing out front.

“Hey, Daze. Been a while,” he said, motioning her and Lucy over.

“Hey Jackson.” Daze always had to either let him bum a cigarette or kiss him, to get in. Jackson was all about making deals. Daze pulled out her cigarettes, and handed him too. Then, she lit one for him. Jackson then opened the velvet hollywood style gate for her and Lucy. Daze took her hand and walked through the door, then up the stairs. The music vibrated the floor, and the lights were so dim that they had to be careful not to trip.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

Lucy watched as Daze handled the security guard, the music inside already deafening her. When they stepped inside, Lucy had to yell to hear herself. 

“Daze, I’m not sure if this is my ‘scene’,” she said, crossing her arms. She felt out of place with all the people around her. They probably went out and danced every night while Lucy would rather curl up with a book somewhere in the Undergrounds.. 

[in-a-dazey]

Daze was about to say the same thing as Lucy spoke. Usually, she would have run off to get liquor then to the dancefloor, but tonight she wanted to get as far away from these people as possible. "Let's get outta here," Daze said, trying to avoid being pulled into the crowd. She took Lucy's hand and walked back down the stairs, giving Jackson a light on his second cigarette as they exited the velvet gate.

"Leaving so soon?" Jackson asked, a bit taken aback.

"Not tonight, Jackson," Daze yelled back, spinning around on her heels to leave the alley. "Not tonight," she whispered again. "Where to now?" she asked, turning towards Lucy.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

[in-a-dazey]

Daze took the older girl’s hand and turned right on the sidewalk, counting her steps in her head. The street lights flickered above them, and she could hear cars on the next street over. It felt very dead, no one was around. Daze wasn’t afraid though, she had seen it all.

“Let it sink in, then. Before it all disappears,” Daze said, hoping Lucy would know what she meant. Daze used to be very bright, she saw everything, and now it was hard hard to tell what color the letters on a street sign were.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

Lucy looked up at the sky. Not even the moon was out to light their way. The street they were on was dark and quiet. It had a very eerie feel.

“Where are we going?” she asked Daze, Since she was simply following and paying attention to stores she passed, she hadn’t even noticed if Daze was taking her somewhere specific. Lucy just hadn’t asked yet. 

[in-a-dazey]

Daze followed the map in her head, left on Jefferson, right on 3rd street and a couple blocks down. They were almost to The BackDoor, a club in a back alley. Daze had become friends with the security guard, and he let her in every time. "We're going to a club, sound fun?" she said with a smirk as they turned down 3rd. They were getting close enough to vaguely hear the music. This club had great music, and it was loud.

"Here it is," she said, pointing to the door on the side of the brick building. There was graffiti all over the sides, even on the door, which was open with her friend Jackson standing out front.

"Hey, Daze. Been a while," he said, motioning her and Lucy over.

"Hey Jackson." Daze always had to either let him bum a cigarette or kiss him, to get in. Jackson was all about making deals. Daze pulled out her cigarettes, and handed him too. Then, she lit one for him. Jackson then opened the velvet hollywood style gate for her and Lucy. Daze took her hand and walked through the door, then up the stairs. The music vibrated the floor, and the lights were so dim that they had to be careful not to trip.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

[in-a-dazey]

Daze smiled at Lucy’s laugh. She felt at home, back with her friend. “Weddings are boring, and no one gets married around here. I’ve never even been to a wedding,” she said, smiling to herself. She picked at her salad a bit more, taking a couple bites out of it. She pulled out her ladybug wallet, and put a twenty down on the table. It was all she had. Then, she stood up and grabbed Lucy’s hand and dragging her outside.

“Let’s get wasted,” she said with a smirk. “Should we head east or west?”

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

Lucy looked around and shrugged. “East?” she said slowly, not very sure of what was there. She just followed Daze and looked at all the places she’d never seen before.

“It’s weird how I’ve walked across the city and back, yet I’ve never seen any of these places before.” She looked at the names of buildings and took mental notes of the bookstores and convenience stores that they passed.

[in-a-dazey]

Daze took the older girl's hand and turned right on the sidewalk, counting her steps in her head. The street lights flickered above them, and she could hear cars on the next street over. It felt very dead, no one was around. Daze wasn't afraid though, she had seen it all.

"Let it sink in, then. Before it all disappears," Daze said, hoping Lucy would know what she meant. Daze used to be very bright, she saw everything, and now it was hard hard to tell what color the letters on a street sign were.

[in-a-dazey]

Daze ran down the tunnels, shaking her hair out of her face, and trying her best not to cry. Her sneakers padded against the concrete, and her curls blew behind her gracefully. She felt a tightness in her chest, a weight on her shoulders. She only wanted to find someone who felt...

[in-a-dazey]

"Hi," Daze said softly, approaching the older girl. She could barely make out her face in the dim lighting. "Long time no see," she said, trying to smile. She could hear the pipes leaking above her, and the rats scurrying on the floor. It felt new though, and scary. Daze had locked herself away for a long time, in her secret hiding spot behind the wood by the girls' dorm. She had only come out for food and maybe to take a shower. The tunnels had been unexplored by Daze for a long while. She had neglected them, while grieving Delilah.

"Where are you staying?" she asked curiously, pulling out a cigarette. "Want one?" Daze liked to share, and she wanted to get rid of them so she would feel acomplished at getting back to her old self. Cigarettes didn't relieve her anxiety anymore, fights didn't appeal to her, the guys would think she was such a wimp if they saw her now.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

[in-a-dazey]

When the waitress arrived with their food, Daze picked at her salad, taking small bites. She wasn’t hungry. “I don’t know,” she said with a sigh. “Just a nice little party.” She remembered all the dance clubs she used to go to, when she would come back to the undergrounds wasted and sad. She used to be so fun, but now she was nothing but an empty shell.

Looking up at the news on tv, she saw more about the serial killer in the town. They still hadn’t been caught, and Daze wondered if they resided in the undergrounds. Clover was there after all, and she was a killer. Daze thought that everyone might be a killer in the gangs. The assasins, Clover, the serial killer. It was a dangerous place, no wonder there was so much grief. So many people died down there, or because of it. It used to be home, now it was a strange, unknown territory.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

“We could crash a wedding,” Lucy suggested, taking a bite of her burger. She shrugged. “Weddings are always so boring. We could liven it up, I guess. But then again, who would have a wedding right now? And where?” Lucy laughed and set her burger down after two more bites. She decided she wasn’t that hungry.

“Anyway, a party could be fun,” she replied seriously.

[in-a-dazey]

Daze smiled at Lucy's laugh. She felt at home, back with her friend. "Weddings are boring, and no one gets married around here. I've never even been to a wedding," she said, smiling to herself. She picked at her salad a bit more, taking a couple bites out of it. She pulled out her ladybug wallet, and put a twenty down on the table. It was all she had. Then, she stood up and grabbed Lucy's hand and dragging her outside.

"Let's get wasted," she said with a smirk. "Should we head east or west?"

[in-a-dazey]

@Bones

Daze ran down the tunnels, shaking her hair out of her face, and trying her best not to cry. Her sneakers padded against the concrete, and her curls blew behind her gracefully. She felt a tightness in her chest, a weight on her shoulders. She only wanted to find someone who felt the same way, or at least close to the same way. Daze was getting better, she cried less, she tried to go out and do things that she used to enjoy. She was trying, she was trying her hardest. She only hoped that "God" or whomever watched over her, if anyone really did, would make the pain fade soon. "Bones! Bones, you down here?" she yelled, cupping her hands around her mouth. Daze needed to talk to her, to know she wasn't alone. She was hoping Bones would feel the same way, but she was a trained assasin, so it was unlikely, but it was worth a shot.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

[in-a-dazey]

Daze was jealous that Lucy could eat a hamburger, those used to be her favorite food. She would eat one now, but she couldn’t eat anything without it coming back up. It wasn’t that she thought she was fat, or anything like that, she was depressed. And numb.

“The whole gang has fallen apart,” she said. “I stayed with Cloud for awhile, after Delilah- Well, Cloud left so I’m moving into Rookie’s dorm. I’m glad you’re going to stay with me.” The Undergrounds were just not as they used to be. Months ago, everything was so vibrant, so alive. Now it was exciting to see that rats were around. Everyone was sleep walking around, everyone was sad. The sky looked gloomy, Daze hadn’t been to a party for as long as she could remember. “I want to go to a party,” she said, trying to smile. “Let’s go to a party after this.”

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

Lucy felt a tinge of guilt as she had disappeared for so long that she didn’t even notice any of the gangs falling apart. 

“I wish everything could go back to the way it was before, when we were all at least a little bit happy,” she said, sighing. “But things change and people have, uh, passed away and we can’t change that. Everything happens for a reason and if we can overcome it, we simply grow mentally and emotionally stronger.” She probably read that in some book, but for the most part, it was true.

Lucy continued taking small sips of her water until Daze mentioned a party. “Party?” she asked. “What kind of party?”

[in-a-dazey]

When the waitress arrived with their food, Daze picked at her salad, taking small bites. She wasn't hungry. "I don't know," she said with a sigh. "Just a nice little party." She remembered all the dance clubs she used to go to, when she would come back to the undergrounds wasted and sad. She used to be so fun, but now she was nothing but an empty shell.

Looking up at the news on tv, she saw more about the serial killer in the town. They still hadn't been caught, and Daze wondered if they resided in the undergrounds. Clover was there after all, and she was a killer. Daze thought that everyone might be a killer in the gangs. The assasins, Clover, the serial killer. It was a dangerous place, no wonder there was so much grief. So many people died down there, or because of it. It used to be home, now it was a strange, unknown territory.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

[in-a-dazey]

Flashes of Shade filled Daze’s mind. She felt a twist of guilt in her stomach, for not thinking of him. “He hasn’t been here for so long,” Daze said softly, looking down. As the waitress brought back their drinks, Daze glanced at the menu, trying to figure out what would make her vomit less.

“Can I have the spinach salad?” she said, handing the woman her menu. She took a sip of her Shirley Temple, and waited for Lucy to order.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

Lucy frowned when Daze had answered her. “Oh,” was all she said in response, trying to keep her emotions inside of her.

The waitress came back with their drinks and Lucy put on a smile for her. “Um, I’ll just take a hamburger with no onions, please,” she said. She watched as the waitress wrote down their orders and took a sip of her water, the liquid soothing her dry throat.

[in-a-dazey]

Daze was jealous that Lucy could eat a hamburger, those used to be her favorite food. She would eat one now, but she couldn't eat anything without it coming back up. It wasn't that she thought she was fat, or anything like that, she was depressed. And numb.

"The whole gang has fallen apart," she said. "I stayed with Cloud for awhile, after Delilah- Well, Cloud left so I'm moving into Rookie's dorm. I'm glad you're going to stay with me." The Undergrounds were just not as they used to be. Months ago, everything was so vibrant, so alive. Now it was exciting to see that rats were around. Everyone was sleep walking around, everyone was sad. The sky looked gloomy, Daze hadn't been to a party for as long as she could remember. "I want to go to a party," she said, trying to smile. "Let's go to a party after this."

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

[in-a-dazey]

“Shirley temple, please,” Daze said with a grin. The woman wrote down their drinks on a notepad then left. Why did she have to write it down? Couldn’t she remember a simple water and Shirley Temple? “I wish I could grow some balls,” Daze said with a small laugh. Lucy was looking better, her hair was washed and she looked healthy. She had been eating, good. Daze could not remember the last time she ate, which scared her.

“I’m moving into Rookie’s old dorm, it’s been cleaned up,” Daze said, looking seriously at Lucy. “Will you move in there with me?”

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

Lucy smiled and nodded. “Yeah, of course,” she replied. “It’s probably best if I get out of the girls’ dorm anyway. Nobody’s there anymore.” She had missed spending time with Daze, but their lives had been so fucked up they didn’t really spend much time with anyone. 

“I just want to know something,” she said, a small frown appearing on her face. “Have you heard anything about Shade? He’s been gone for a long time and I really miss him and I told him I loved him before I left and I just need to know if he’s okay.” 

[in-a-dazey]

Flashes of Shade filled Daze's mind. She felt a twist of guilt in her stomach, for not thinking of him. "He hasn't been here for so long," Daze said softly, looking down. As the waitress brought back their drinks, Daze glanced at the menu, trying to figure out what would make her vomit less.

"Can I have the spinach salad?" she said, handing the woman her menu. She took a sip of her Shirley Temple, and waited for Lucy to order.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

[in-a-dazey]

Daze looked at Lucy, and realized no one had asked her that. She had isolated herself. And truthfully, she had no idea how she felt, how she had been. “It’s been shit,” she finally decided to say. At least it sounded slightly like her own self. “How’ve you been?” she politely returned the question. It had been a long time since they had talked, she didn’t know if Lucy had recovered from being raped.

Turning the corner to 3rd St., Daze caught sight of the diner and tossed her cigarette on the ground. As they arrived, she held open the door for Lucy, and stepped inside to be greeted by a rather irritated looking man. “Can we have a booth?” Daze asked, motioning towards the booths of the right side of the room.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

As the man walked them to a booth and they both sat down, Lucy looked at her lap and shrugged. 

“I’ve been okay, I guess. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same shy girl I used to be, but at least I’ve grown some balls,” she said with a small chuckle. She looked back up at Daze and gave a small smile. A waitress came to their table and asked what drinks they wanted. Lucy just said water and laid a napkin on her lap.

[in-a-dazey]

"Shirley temple, please," Daze said with a grin. The woman wrote down their drinks on a notepad then left. Why did she have to write it down? Couldn't she remember a simple water and Shirley Temple? "I wish I could grow some balls," Daze said with a small laugh. Lucy was looking better, her hair was washed and she looked healthy. She had been eating, good. Daze could not remember the last time she ate, which scared her.

"I'm moving into Rookie's old dorm, it's been cleaned up," Daze said, looking seriously at Lucy. "Will you move in there with me?"

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

[in-a-dazey]

Daze stared at Lucy for a moment before turning to leave with her. Daze’s hair was curly again, she hadn’t bathed in awhile, but the color had washed right out of it. Maybe Lucy would dye Daze’s hair for her, to help make her feel more like herself. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it, even though cigarettes didn’t particularly appear to her anymore. She always reminded herself that it was killing her, she still wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

Taking Lucy’s hand, she ran up the steps to exit the Undergrounds, and looked around before deciding to head towards the diner a few blocks over. It was dark outside, but the street lights shone down on the sidewalk, and it looked to be sparkling. “Want one?” she asked Lucy, motioning towards her cigarette. She didn’t remember whether or not Lucy smoked, it was becoming hard to remember much of anything besides her sister’s brains spewed on the wall of her old bedroom.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

Lucy shook her head. Even though she had changed drastically over the past few weeks and months, she still didn’t smoke. 

“So, uh, Daze,” she started, gripping the young girl’s hand tightly. “How have you been? If you don’t mind me asking.” She felt awkward asking, considering the things Daze had gone through. Considering the things they both had gone through, their lives were both much more different than they were when they entered the Undergrounds. 

[in-a-dazey]

Daze looked at Lucy, and realized no one had asked her that. She had isolated herself. And truthfully, she had no idea how she felt, how she had been. "It's been shit," she finally decided to say. At least it sounded slightly like her own self. "How've you been?" she politely returned the question. It had been a long time since they had talked, she didn't know if Lucy had recovered from being raped.

Turning the corner to 3rd St., Daze caught sight of the diner and tossed her cigarette on the ground. As they arrived, she held open the door for Lucy, and stepped inside to be greeted by a rather irritated looking man. "Can we have a booth?" Daze asked, motioning towards the booths of the right side of the room.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

[in-a-dazey]

Daze sat up, looking Lucy in her eyes. He had almost forgotten about Rosie because of Lucy’s accident. It was always there, hanging over her head. Especially since Baby told her she saw Rosie. Daze bit the inside of her cheek and looked down. “I don’t know,” she murmured. “I just have to stay strong for Delilah, for The Underground Gang.” Daze looked up again, and wrapped her arms around Lucy’s neck burying her face into her shoulder for a moment. No tears came, she was probably dehydrated and Lucy didn’t look so great either. She felt her pocket to make sure her wallet was in there. It was a red leather wallet with a ladybug on it, one of the only things she still had from when she was a child. She stood up and gave Lucy a hand to stand her up. “Come on, let’s get something to eat or some ice cream,” Daze said, giving her a small smile and wiping the pebbles and grime off the back of her jeans. She tucked her hair behind her ears and took Lucy’s hand, walking towards the entrance of the undergrounds.

[sweet-quiet-lucy-deactivated201]

Lucy stopped when she got up and raised a brow, looking over herself. “You want me to go out like this? In front of people?” she paused and stared dumbfounded and Daze. “You’ve got to be kidding. Oh God. Let me change quickly and then we can go.” 

She walked back to her room and switched out of her old sweatsuit into a pair of jeans and a blouse. She also touched up her hair and brushed her teeh before walking back to Daze. 

“Okay, I’m ready now.”

[in-a-dazey]

Daze stared at Lucy for a moment before turning to leave with her. Daze's hair was curly again, she hadn't bathed in awhile, but the color had washed right out of it. Maybe Lucy would dye Daze's hair for her, to help make her feel more like herself. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it, even though cigarettes didn't particularly appear to her anymore. She always reminded herself that it was killing her, she still wasn't sure how she felt about that.

Taking Lucy's hand, she ran up the steps to exit the Undergrounds, and looked around before deciding to head towards the diner a few blocks over. It was dark outside, but the street lights shone down on the sidewalk, and it looked to be sparkling. "Want one?" she asked Lucy, motioning towards her cigarette. She didn't remember whether or not Lucy smoked, it was becoming hard to remember much of anything besides her sister's brains spewed on the wall of her old bedroom.