I get too excited and I dont know how to act. What will make this time different?
Im going a but to fast and Im not articulating myself in ways that I really want to in person.
But what do I want? I feel the physical attraction. Its strong and its there, but is that all? Just my lust? I wanna know more. I wanna know about her friends. I wanna know how she gets when she is upset, and how tk calm her down when she needs someone close, when she wants me close. I really want to be close. In so many ways. the ideas of getting to know her intertwine with the kust I carry for getting deep into someones head, but most of all, my craving to be close to someone's heart. But I feel like Im messing things up. Im trying too hard. I need ti slow down. I get excited and caught up and I dknt want to stop, and then I fast forward to the end. I want to be SLOW. I want to relax with someone else. Not for her, but for me. I want to be in that moment. I never had anything like that. A long term romance....at least not in person... Maybe 5 months. I coukd be lyingbto myself and it could be 4. I wither fast forward to the end, or walk away. Picmed some dicks....mostly dicks...but I feel like I get better at it every time now. Chad really helped me...Im going to be better. Slower. Keep myself in check, talk it out with her maybe? See how we can navigate it together? Maybe she could help me 😊 Yea....I think I'll do that.
