Fan Blog

I was on a reality show with Test Tube and I also have an egg and I like run-on sentences!

[inanimateinsanityfan]

HOTEL OJ PARTY THIS SATURDAY!

In celebration of Inanimate Insanity II finally drawing to a close, we hope you'll join us for the Hotel OJ Party this Saturday! It feels like this season has taken ages to complete, but some may say it feels like just yesterday! Time's a funny thing. Now obviously, this wouldn't be an Inanimate Insanity finale without something going horribly wrong. And, I can in fact confirm, yes, we have had a shocking mishap. Please brace yourselves. We were meant to get 300 napkins for the party, but Paper only received 290. I know, I know. At this point, we shouldn't expect everything to go according to plan, but that was really hard on all of us. Anyway, Suitcase and Knife should be getting here soon! Who are you rooting for to win? I won't say my opinion so as to not influence you, and then also you can project whatever you think my answer would be onto me! Look, I'm one of you, I know how your minds work.

Only thing is- I do keep hearing an incessant buzzing sound in the distance. It almost sounds like a phone vibrating? But I've triple-checked and mine is on silent. So if you're reading this and you have a phone call you've been neglecting, PLEASE answer it. My sanity and I thank you in advance!

[inanimateinsanityfan]

A New Adventure?

Just wanted to give you all an update on where I am! Recently, right in the middle of a truly Fantastic Feature with Paper, I heard a yell off-camera from Test Tube, informing me that we received Spoiled Lemon tickets! I, like anyone with a pulse, was immensely excited at the prospect of seeing this legendary band perform live once again, especially in the context of a VIP concert tour extravaganza- at a RESORT!!! So in order to reach our musical destination, we all took to the seas! We were blissfully on our way to paradise, when suddenly, our boat (Boaty??) began to steer itself! I quickly realized that these suspicious shenanigans could only be the work of one reality show host... and as it turns out... ...yep. Called it.  I am now competing on Inanimate Insanity Invitational! Apparently, I’m considered a fan favorite? We call that growth, everyone! Kinda makes me not mind being stranded on a random island. But hey, I mean, what else is new? Anyway, I think Test Tube and Paintbrush wanted to talk to me about an event they’re planning, so I’m gonna log off! Catch you all soon!

[inanimateinsanityfan]

I can’t believe OJ let you film Fan’s Fantastic Features in the hotel. Did it take you a while to get him to allow you to film?

Wait, are you saying I had to ask?

[inanimateinsanityfan]

You do those vlogs, right? Maybe you could make a habit out of making a routine that involves recording yourself (and others in the hotel, with their consent) going around and trying new things? That could be fun, and it’d give you something to occupy your time!

Funny you should say that!  I have something similar in mind.  Stay tuned!

[inanimateinsanityfan]

I told you all I was planning something like this!  Enjoy the first episode of my new show, FAN’S FANTASTIC FEATURES!  Test Tube was kind enough to handle the camera.  She did such a great job!  (I blame the part that the camera slipped on the tripod) https://youtu.be/P6FhO-SgDwI

[inanimateinsanityfan]

You do those vlogs, right? Maybe you could make a habit out of making a routine that involves recording yourself (and others in the hotel, with their consent) going around and trying new things? That could be fun, and it’d give you something to occupy your time!

Funny you should say that!  I have something similar in mind.  Stay tuned!

[inanimateinsanityfan]

Update

So... I love my new phone.

[inanimateinsanityfan]

Signing Off

So, I’ve had a lot on my mind today.  Thank you for all the suggestions about what I can do with my life going forward.  I think for right now, I’m just gonna try and get some sleep...

[inanimateinsanityfan]

So Fan, do you know who's eliminated last episode?

...I see what you’ve done there.  Well... thank you for reminding me of the rare bit of trivia about this show that doesn’t fill me with joy.

[inanimateinsanityfan]

So. What now?

I... have no idea.  I’m still just so used to the game being my whole life, if you get what I mean.  I do know that I have to trust Test Tube’s decision even if I am hurt by it.  What do you all think I should do?  

[inanimateinsanityfan]

How’s the hotel?

Oh, OJ has done a fantastic job with it.  But... after playing the game for so long, I just don’t really know how to cope with a life lacking any structure.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, there are events going on in the hotel all the time.  I know Paintbrush has that arts and crafts class they told me about.  I’m talking more about mandated structure here.  And that sounds silly to want, I know, like I should be able to occupy myself, right?  I guess I just need to give it some time.  I mean, I haven’t even been here a whole night.

[inanimateinsanityfan]

fan.... are you going to be alright after the elimination? you seemed pretty emotionally torn up..

I’m fine!!!  Thank you though.

[inanimateinsanityfan]

are you some kind of magical being who can predict stuff that happens and knows what stuff is going on no matter what? how else would you know about the alternate reality?

Oh no, you’re onto me!!!  ...Nah just kidding Test Tube told me about it.  Yeah… I miss her.

[inanimateinsanityfan]

Who do you think will win and why? And if you win, what will you do with the money?

Well, this aged interestingly…

[inanimateinsanityfan]

Shell

Theories and patterns are easy. I didn’t want to believe Paintbrush, because they knew the game was... more.  I’m scared of everything that’s happening... because it’s... more. If I could stay... in a shell... I’d never leave.  You’d probably think I’d feel trapped.  On the contrary, I’d feel free knowing that’s all there is to it.  There’s nothing else out there.  How reassuring, right?  That’s all.  If only it were so simple...

[inanimateinsanityfan]

Ever gonna reopen the ii website?

Funny you should ask!  MePhone4 informed me that the official Inanimate Insanity website has been updated!  You can visit it here- https://www.inanimateinsanity.com/I asked him if he could put my old blog entries back up, or if I could start posting new ones!  He nodded blankly and then walked away.  So that’s where we’re at.

[inanimateinsanityfan]

You know that Test Tube and Lightbulb are safe and sound from their time-travel adventure, but what about Marsh? Where do you think she's gone?

Well, as MePad stated, we know it’s not Mars again.  That narrows it down, doesn’t it?

[inanimateinsanityfan]

Did you feel anything when Paintbrush got eliminated?

I felt a lot.  Disappointed, sad, regretful… I think it’s clear we didn’t always get along too well (my fault).  But they always had the team’s best interests at heart, even when the team wasn’t at its best or most interesting or most… conducive to showing it had a heart.  Basically what I’m saying is they’re the one who knew how to pull all us crazies together and I can’t begin to think what we’ll do without them, especially with what I fear is coming down the pike.  But sorry, to specifically answer your question, I did, yes.