Ketchup

20

[inanis8]

Flowers flowers flowers. Drown me in flowers 🪷

[inanis8]

And as I stare blankly at the ceiling above me, I see the wall warmly tinted by the dim light sparkling weakly.

When the grounding feeling of the present sinks in, I see myself tracing along the outline of the shadows by sight. Then a pause later the eerie feeling of unreality settles in, and I start to wonder what ifs.

Staring closely at the intricacies within my palm, I fear this is real. But I also fear it's not.

Either scenario I cannot feel at ease with.

By: Me

All rights reserved

[inanis8]

I'm at a crossroad, I can't make out how many roads there are but I can see and feel the obscurity within them. The feeling of being lost is one that never leaves once it grips onto you, not until clarity blesses you. Clarity hasn't blessed me as of yet, but my heart hopes it does soon. As a child I had two papers in front of me, I just had to choose which one to go for, but now as an adult I find myself having no paper at all. No one stripped me of any paper, but as I started being more autonomous I've gradually lost grip of the papers I had, questioning what I truly want has become more like a threat rather than an opportunity. I don't know what I want, nor what to do, that's why I continue with the path set by others for me while letting my doubts and bitterness grow. And as they'll grow more and more, I'll end up engulfed by them.

I'm at a crossroad, I don't know how many roads there are but I don't care. Time has passed and I've learned that, this confusion hovering over me is no more than an illusion. It will get a hold of me, but I know it will never engulf me.

I'll walk as much as I need and pass through as many roads as I can until I find my papers, the ones truly meant for me. I know my heart will know.

'I'm at a crossroad' by Inanis.

All rights reserved.

[inanis8]

❝Earth is hell and heaven is death.❞

— Inanis (Pseudonym)

Title: ‘Poena’ – punishment (latin)

All rights reserved.

[inanis8]

We look at the same sky, hoping desperately.

We eat the same foods, surviving with all our might.

We talk to the same people, wishing for their change.

We work the same jobs, losing our will to live.

Just, what

are we supposed to do?

Our change can only be brought forth by ourselves, the journey isn't linear, rather it's extremely rocky. In this journey through the narrow paths going along the dull mountains, we will, meet cliffs. Sometimes we'll barely make it, and sometimes we'll turn off completely. But, we will end up getting back up, once again, and continue our travel until we reach our long desired destination.

Some of us, won't make it. And some of us, will. But regardless of the outcome, what I know is we all will have tried our best,

to last,

hope,

and live,

for one second longer.

I do not yet know whether I'll be the former, or latter. But regardless of the ultimate result, let's enjoy the moments that convey to us joy.

For now,

let's focus on the present.

Author: Inanis (Pseudonym)

All rights reserved.

[inanis8]

Photos taken and edited by: Inanis

[inanis8]

Author: Inanis (Pseudonym)

All rights reserved.