I have been roleplaying since 2010, on tumblr. I have loved every second of it, and I have met some of my closest friends through tumblr roleplaying. Some I’m still in touch with daily, others I only speak to every now and then. That doesn’t make me care any less about them, though.
To me, roleplaying has been something I could do to pass the time, and escape my depression and anxiety. It has especially been useful to me the last few years, and especially when I took a giant step and moved abroad for University. It’s been a support system, and a way for me to get my feelings out without dragging people down in the mud with me if I’ve had a shitty day.
Over these past six years I’ve gone through a lot of different groups, fandoms and FC’s. I’ve even roleplayed as Maggie Smith and Richard Harris (Yes, I’ve played McGonagall and Dumbledore). I’ve now reached the stage where the FC’s I’m most comfortable with are Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson. But that’s okay. We all have our preferences.
When I started roleplaying on indie I absolutely loved it. People were so friendly, and accepting. People came up to me and asked to plot, and others I messaged, myself. People whom I told I wasn’t interested because I didn’t think our muses would get along, didn’t take it personal. They accepted it as it was, and we still kept in touch OOC.
Now, however, fandomless indie might be one of the most toxic places I have ever been online in. I have so much muse for my characters, but whenever I log on I see someone slagging of someone else. I see people judging others based on their FC’s, and what rules they have on their pages. I, personally, have tried to adjust to what seems to be the most popular in people’s rules but I seem to come out empty whatever I do – and I feel downright ignored.
I have been working on a re-vamp. I’ve taken down some characters and put up some new. The character pages are not all done yet, there are still a few left, but they will probably stay like this for a while.
The main reason I haven’t been on isn’t because of this, though, it’s because uni has been busy, and I’ve had other things to do as well. I was ready to get on and start roleplaying again today, but these four messages had me re-evaluate the whole thing:
So yeah. I’m going on a proper break. No semi-hiatus. Just Hiatus. I have no idea how long it’s going to last, and I understand if people unfollow or want to drop what we’ve had. But it’s how it’s going to be. Roleplaying on my indie has gone from being a place I felt safe and able to let my feelings out, to a place that’s only made my depression worse, and that’s not how it should be, and honestly; I'm done going to bed upset because of feling like this - and especially because of messages like that!
So to everyone I owe replies to, I’m sorry, but our threads are going to be dropped for a while. Not sure how long, or if I’ll be back on this blog, or if I’ll make a new one. I will of course let the people I usually roleplay with know if I move. Until then – I love you all.
There are places you can reach me, though (character blogs in groups, AIM, Skype, Kik), so just message me if you’d want usernames for any of them.
@xtouchinghearts @theseansmithroleplay @fadingofmemories @lexprinces @depletedreams @luminescxnce @whimsistics @hearteyesrp @henry-parrish
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