The Avengers as John Mulaney Quotes
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Peter Parker: “I was hoping that by now, I would look older, and that didn’t happen.”
Tony Stark: “I was once on the telephone with Blockbuster video, which is a very old-fashioned sentence.”
Steve Rogers: “Everyone get out of my way! I just want to sit here and Feed my birds.”
Bucky Barnes: “I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I’ll die.”
Scott Lang: “Nothing that I know can help you with your car ever. Unless you’re like ‘Hey, I’ve got a flat tire, does anyone her know a lot about the ‘Cosby Show.”
Wanda Maximoff: “I don’t look like someone who used to do anything. I look like I was just sitting in a room with a chair eating saltines for 28 years and then walked right out here.”
Thor: “Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you.”
Sam Wilson: “college was like a four-year game show called Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep
Vision: “I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay based on the way i act and behave and have walked and talked for the past 28 years.”
Natasha Romanov: “Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.”
Bruce Banner: “when I was in grade school, I was bullied for being Asian-American, and the biggest problem with that is…that I’m not Asian-American
Clint Barton: “You know those days when you’re like, ‘this might as well happen.’”
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