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@theartofmadeline
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@letsboldlygomotherfuckers
ilya is so “rage bait and fuck with you” husband and also he’s very “ahhh shane it’s a spider get it get it” husband
and shane is very “carry me to bed and im passenger princess ipad baby” husband and he’s also “im going to fix things around the house with my bare hands and chop wood manly style” husband
the wife in the relationship is the friends we made along the way (the centaurs) ❤️
im writing my husbands visa application for him to stay long term in my country and now im thinking about shane who is very carefully compiling all the evidence of their genuine and continuing relationship and making a really nice PowerPoint presentation that includes highlights of their biggest hits against each other on the ice and Canadian immigration is like look we don’t need your weird kink shit we believe you’re together no one would actively do whatever tf you’re doing together, here’s his citizenship pls leave our office immediately
shane has just turned his laptop around to present slide one when the immigration office is like “no need. we believe you. here’s your visa!”. and shane is so upset that all his hard-earned work was for nothing that ilya drives them home and sits himself down on the couch and makes shane present it to him and anya
I am a fan of the dynamic where there's no leak and Shane moves to the Cens of his own accord and then Shane and Ilya never come out exactly but they just live openly and all these dumbass hockey players are just like
"Oh yeah they're just like that. They live together and room together and vacation together and get mad if they're separated on the bench. And they kiss in the locker room sometimes but it's you know. They're joking around. Good guys. Gay? Well---no I don't think so. I mean that's weird. Roz is a pussy hound. I mean I've never seen him with a woman but you know he is. Anyway Hollander had that whole thing with Rose Landry and he still talks about her, I think he's still hung up on her. Poor guy. I did walk in on Hollander sleeping on Roz's lap the other day but they were just getting in sync for power play you know? You reporters always want to make everything gay it's so weird. What do you mean 'why do they kiss so much' they're the top goal scoring duo in the league"
shane who doesn't really do pet names calling rose babe because that's what a good straight boyfriend would do and rose calls him babe back so he's like i am getting a good grade in performative heterosexuality but then they break up and he's gay and rose keeps calling him babe because turns out she calls all her close friends babe no matter their gender and so he just keeps calling her babe too and if other guys think it's because he's trying to get back with her he doesn't really care but it's actually a term of endearment reserved for his girl best friend and ilya absolutely fucking hates it he hates it so much
everything about this is so crazy like i have never experienced anything like this. funeral streamed live on tiktok -> buried alive script on jlh's insta but it's essentially illegible then clearer on ostark's insta but he quickly deletes it but also it's april fool's day -> ostark says he lied for promo in a brief q&a -> ostark (always at the scene of the crime) replies to comments about bobby's possible death with 😄😁😃 ALL OF THIS BTW BEFORE THE EPISODE. then, bobby dies -> crucially we don't see a body in fact the episode ends fairly abruptly with a body bag -> interviews drop and bald cunt tim minear stresses that bobby is really truly dead trust me -> also says they did not anticipate bobby's funeral being filmed in broad daylight dtla to be leaked because it's just a little firefighter show (one of THE highest rated shows on abc btw) -> peter posts a goodbye letter -> cast start posting frankly very odd goodbyes on instagram -> ryan guzman shares an rip edit of bobby with a pink bow set to louis armstrong's what a wonderful world -> kenny posts a video edit of peter set to spongebob music -> kenny seemingly cries through an interview -> kenny (another one always at the scene of the crime) replies to people saying they won't watch the show again with essentially, understandable me too -> aisha posts a heartfelt goodbye then deletes it and posts a different more vague version -> also it is discovered that bobby's funeral is taking place at somewhere literally named The Hall of Crucifixion-Resurrection. like does anyone else feel like they're on lsd or
Canon divergent AU where Shane is a little more paranoid and when Hayden first comments on "Boston Lily", he decides he has to do something to break up the pattern and make it not so noticeable that he's got someone on Boston.
Not seeing Rozanov is not an option, so instead Shane picks out a few other cities to regularly go out by himself in. He'll go for a long walk, maybe sit down somewhere for a drink, and then catch a taxi back to the hotel an appropriate amount of time later. It's honestly pretty nice, unwinding by himself in this way, and now disappearing after games is not a thing specific to Boston! It's just another strange Hollander quirk!
Unfortunately, he fails to account for the guys on the team jumping on the most obvious explanation for all these disappearances, which is that Shane now has a girl in every port.
Word about this starts to spread quick, because it is so out of character for Shane, and pretty soon half the league is under the impression that he's some secret playboy.
Ilya is extremely not chill about this rumor.
@scunthotter
help 😭😭 ilya's playing 4d chess to keep his man to himself and meanwhile shane's like "it's so nice having ilya with me on my little walks 🥰"
has anyone drawn this with Shane & Ilya yet
Op the vision is hilarious, you win
day 153 of noticing: shane moaning "yeah" when ilya starts kissing his neck
ilyorbits your shorb
op disabled reblogs but i really wanted this post on my blog again
"Whale" I didn't have enough time for her, but the light here is nice~
shane and ilya swap jerseys during their last montreal vs boston game!!! its already public that ilya isn’t signing back with boston and it’s part of their 300 step plan of showing the public they’re friends before announcing the irina foundation.
its a show of respect as captains who have been playing against eachother for years and they weighed the pros and cons for weeks!! the pictures of them holding eachothers jerseys are very popular and circle back when they’re out and people start speculating the timeline.
Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.
I’m not worth the cost of a watch.
i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.
