Bubbles and Red Gummy Bears :)

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In the spirit of finishing a notebook here's the last poem. None of my poetry has titles. Just dates. 

Share my confusion

Looking for purpose, purposefully

Not claiming to have a meaning

it's all just here and now

Everywhere; while my mind wonders

To record the vibrant grays in the storm

To find significance in the living

Hoping for an explanation for apparitions

Digesting holy figures in the mad house

I came for the blood, for the capital Truth

Servants to feeling; to religion

Expansion doesn't cost much

You're all screaming "freedom"

Wrapped up tightly in your egos

Hoping it deflects the bullets

I was out eating rainbows under overpasses

Crying in the gutters because you lost reality

Living with religious zombies; Jesus freaks

Looking for truthful martyrs

For artful role models

An uncommon sense of sanity

The wounded bleed from their brain stems

And you still don't put love on the table

So much of life has become destructive

Decades becoming interchangeable

Taught to use fear as a security blanket

The world isn't ready for the sheets to be ripped out from under it

Still appauled by the stand still

And uncertainty is my final offer 

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I finished a notebook for the first time in 5 years. It's almost kinda sad to me that it has ended. It's about 80 full pages of poetry and drawings. Time to start anew. 

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I realized these were all the snapshots which our children would look at someday with wonder, thinking their parents had lived smooth, well-ordered lives and got up in the morning to walk proudly on the sidewalks of life, never dreaming the raggedy madness and riot of our actual lives, our actual night, the hell of it, the senseless emptiness.

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This song is amazing. I love how it goes from chamber music to some sort of progressive classical and then into jazz. Been obsessing over Donovan's music lately. :)

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Needed something new on my wall and i've been absolutely fascinated by melted crayon art lately. 

The quote "Feed the Hungry Bee" comes from Ken Kesey. 

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Love is hot, truth is molten.

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Watching this tonight. I have to say that all of the classic horror films i've seen, the 1931 Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is definitely in my top 5 favorites. There's just something really creepy about the movie that makes me love it. :)

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Green apple pie. :) Making shrimp and sausage gumbo for dinner!

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Life is a hideous thing, and from the background behind what we know of it peers daemonic hints of truth which make it sometimes a thousandfold more hideous. Science, already oppressive with its shocking revelations, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species.

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It was a long day at school. Just waiting for the first month to be over with so there aren't as many people in my classes. That's one of the reasons why I enjoy having hard professors because people realize it and drop the class within the month. My favorite professor's class went from around 45 students to 7 in my first semester. He is a great professor, just have to adapt to his style of teaching. He also has a tendency to hand out a lot of F's and D's but that's really your own fault because we only had to write 10 short essays and take 4 exams. 

Anyway...

Watching Gummo tonight with my hedgehog. Never seen it before but avant garde nihilism and creepy cult films seem to be my thing. Goodnight! 

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Google is awesome!!! Happy belated 65th birthday to Freddy Mercury and RIP to such an influential legend!

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Reading this. And loving that Neal Cassady makes an appearance in the first chapter. He's somewhere in his 40's in this book because I just finished reading On The Road where he was in his 20's during the 1940's. 

Picked it up at Borders for half price since they're liquidating everything. 

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I took a small break from social networking. I think it's important to do every once in a while. More importantly it was because I had a lot of thinking and planning to do that didn't involve being on a computer.

My Labor Day will most likely not be filled with sitting on Facebook and Youtube all day. Instead I think i'll be doing some reading and writing. I only have about 5 pages left in my notebook and i'd like to fill them soon. I may be posting some poetry eventually. Let me know if you'd like to read it and I hope everyone has a safe and good holiday!

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I don't hate it. I just don't like it at all and it's terrible.

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Yay buttermilk blueberry muffins!

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Apparently tonight my best friend has a surprise for me. Still wondering what it could be but i have a pretty good idea. She said to bring my bathing suit. Hmmmm... O.O

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My favorite musician in one of the bands he fronted before going solo. This is off of the album "If This Is Hell I'm Lucky" by Deadboy and The Elephantmen.