Incorrect Don't Escape Quotes!

I get most of my quotes from @incorrectquotesideas

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I havent been posting because I’m on vacation, am generally busy, and have 5 other blogs to maintain. sorry.

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Cate: Cody, what do you have?

Cody: Your gun!!

Cate: NO!!

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please send submissions in the ‘chat’ format if you can, thanks

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Barry: What did you do!?

Cody: I shaved my eyebrows!

Barry: Why’d you do that!?

Cody: I don’t know!!

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Cate: *finds something* What the fuck is this?

Barry: Watch your profanity

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David: *cooking pasta*

Cody: *cronch*

David: *turns around*

David: DON’T EAT THE PACKING PEANUTS

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David: Just got a random burst of energy and I think it’s my body’s last hurrah before it completely shuts down

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Cody: I am very small. And I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under

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David: Listen, Cody, I’ve been thinking about our current living situation and, uh… why are you smiling?

Cody: I got a little surprise.

Cody, pointing to a fish tank: Look, I got us a new fishie. I named him, uh… “David”, you know, after… after you.

David, leans down to look in tank: …Well, that’s not even a real fish. You know, that’s a Goldfish Cracker.

Cody, in a serious tone: So, what’s your point, man?

David: …Okay, good night… you big, freak of nature…

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David after seeing dead people :  This isn’t the weirdest thing to happen to me today.

David’s inner self : Well, the day just started.

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Cate: *gives David a cake slice*

David: *tastes the cake*

Cate: Well?

David: I taste salt- did you mix it up with the sugar or something?

Cate: No. I just made the cake like you. Sweet on the outside but really salty in the inside.

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David: Just tried watermelon on pizza. Honestly? It was pretty good.

Cate: That’s him, officer. That’s the guy right there. Take the shot before he gets away.

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David: If you want something bad, you’ve gotta work for it. It’s time to break out the “p” word.

Cody: Paul Blart: Mall Cop?

David: The other “p” word.

Cody:

Cody: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2?

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Cate: Cody is okay.

David: He's okay? He said he was going to break my legs. And don’t tell me he didn’t mean it, okay? ‘Cause he gave me the dead mackerel eyes. He meant it!

Cate: David, Cody threatened me. He threatened Barry. He probably threatened someone before breakfast this morning. It’s what he does. Come on. Grow a pair!