incorrect drarry

(in)correct quotes from harry and draco as a ship (in fact this is canon) icon and background pic from: upthehillart

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Harry: What should I be for Halloween?

Draco: My boyfriend

Draco: Well no I’m joking

Draco: … Unless

Harry: That’s not scary

Ron: It’s for me. It’s my nightmare.

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Draco, checking his contacts: Harry, Crabbe, Goyle- Harry, Crabbe, Goyle- Harry, Crabbe, Goyle- Harry Crabbe, Goyle- Harry, Crabbe, Goyle…

Draco: *gasps* how can I only have three friends?!

Draco: And one of them is dead!

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Draco: I asked Harry out.

Blaise: Oh, I’m sorry.

Draco: Why?

Blaise: I assumed he said no.

Draco: He said yes.

Blaise: Then I’m sorry for him.

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Draco: Please this is the 10th time its happened, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Harry: I'm sorry is this OUR broken nose? Stay out of it.

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Draco: Harry is good at kissing. So good I want to punch the shit out of the person who taught him.

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Harry: Hey, wanna have sex?

Draco: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Draco, eating breakfast: Oh, hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this.

Harry, who walked out of his bedroom in his house into his kitchen: Maybe we would, if you would STOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Hermione: Do you know what bees make?

Ron: Honey?

Hermione: Yes dear?

[Harry turns to Draco]

Harry: Draco, do you know what bees make?

Draco: Some stupid annoying sound, what the fuck do you want.

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Cedric: Are you fucking my boyfriend?

Draco: Not in this exact moment, are you blind or something

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Draco: Can you do a backflip?

Harry: No

Draco: Same, we have so much in common I think we need to get married.

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

[At the Yule Ball]

Draco: I’m gonna throw ron to the punch of the dance

Harry: No Draco you can’t do that! You know we can’t drink alcohol…

Draco: *throws Ron Weasley to the punch*

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Harry: send dudes

Draco: *sends him a nude*

Harry: that's not what i meant! i'm in a battle!

Draco: oh

Harry: nice dick tho

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Lucius: Stop dating my son!

Harry: You know what? I’m going to start dating him even harder!

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Draco: Bitches be like “I’m fighting my own demons” and then the demons seem to be me

Harry: Could you get over it I only called you demon ONCE in a fight

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Draco: You can trust me. Let’s not forget who pulled you out of the river last time we went camping.

Harry: Let’s not forget who pushed me in.

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Hermione: If you got arrested, what would be the charges?

Theo: Theft

Ron: Disturbin the peace

Pansy: Aggravated assault

Draco: Arson

Harry: All the above. In that order, probably

[incorrect-drarry-quote]

Harry, staring at Draco: he wants me so bad

Ron, jokingly: oh, really? Where are you getting that idea?

Harry: The voices in my head

Ron, unable to tell if he’s joking or not: Ah…