Mabel: “What do you call a person with poor hearing?”
Dipper: “What?”
Mabel: “I SAID, WHAT DO YOU CALL A PERSON WITH POOR HEARING?”

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@incorrect-gravityfalls-quotes
Mabel: “What do you call a person with poor hearing?”
Dipper: “What?”
Mabel: “I SAID, WHAT DO YOU CALL A PERSON WITH POOR HEARING?”
Dipper: “I need advice.”
Mabel, eating cookie dough for breakfast: “You’ve come to the right person.”
Wendy: “Someone told me once that shooting stars are really just angels throwing away their cigarettes before God could catch them smoking.”
Stan: “Someone get me a young child, I have wisdom to pass down.”
Mabel: “Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!”
Stan: “What if I suddenly decided I’m vegan?”
Mabel: “Wakey wakey, vegetables and sadness!”
Stan: “The eagles won last night.”
Wendy: “Oh, did you watch the game last night?”
Stan, covered in blood and scratches: “What game?”
Robbie: “I love this picture of all of us. We were so happy.”
Nate: “Where’s Dr. Funtimes?”
Robbie: “He wasn’t one of us yet. That’s why we were so happy.”
Dipper: “What if mayonnaise came in cans?”
Wendy: “That would suck because you can’t microwave metal.”
Robbie: “Good morning to everyone except these two.”
“They don’t call me fucking dumbass shithead idiot for nothing!”
- Stan
“I’m not an early bird or a night owl. I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.”
- Wendy
Mabel: “That’s a pretty rock.”
Dipper: “Robbie gave it to me.”
Robbie: “I threw it at you.”
Dipper: “He’s being pretty nice.”
“I don’t like little flying bugs… because they’re little and can fly, and I don’t like that they can do that.”
- Pacifica
“I’m not an Aries. I’m just a raging bitch.”
- Wendy
Stan: “All right, Dipper, that's it, you're grounded! I found a rap album hiding under your bed and it was the clean version. I didn't raise you to be such a nerd!”
Dipper: “I'm not even your kid-”
Dipper: “If Mabel and I were drowning, who would you save?”
Stan: “You two can't swim?”
Dipper: “It's a hypothetical question, Grunkle Stan! Who would you save?”
Stan: “My time and effort.”
Mabel: “It's quick, it's easy, and it's free: pouring river water in your socks!”
Dipper: “Why would I do that?”
Mabel: “It's quick, it's easy, and it's free!”
Stan: “There's no ‘I’ in team, but there is one in pizza.”
Dipper: “So, you're not going to share?”
Stan: “I'm not going to share.”
“They're trying to lure me into a false sense of security! Well, joke's on them! I've never been secure in my life! And I'm not about to start now!”
- Dipper