Incorrect Gravity Falls Quotes

Quotes about and for all the Gravity Falls characters and fans out there! I am completely open to submissions as well!

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Mabel: “What do you call a person with poor hearing?”

Dipper: “What?”

Mabel: “I SAID, WHAT DO YOU CALL A PERSON WITH POOR HEARING?”

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Dipper: “I need advice.”

Mabel, eating cookie dough for breakfast: “You’ve come to the right person.”

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Wendy: “Someone told me once that shooting stars are really just angels throwing away their cigarettes before God could catch them smoking.”

Stan: “Someone get me a young child, I have wisdom to pass down.”

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Mabel: “Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!”

Stan: “What if I suddenly decided I’m vegan?”

Mabel: “Wakey wakey, vegetables and sadness!”

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Stan: “The eagles won last night.”

Wendy: “Oh, did you watch the game last night?”

Stan, covered in blood and scratches: “What game?”

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Robbie: “I love this picture of all of us. We were so happy.”

Nate: “Where’s Dr. Funtimes?”

Robbie: “He wasn’t one of us yet. That’s why we were so happy.”

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Dipper: “What if mayonnaise came in cans?”

Wendy: “That would suck because you can’t microwave metal.”

Robbie: “Good morning to everyone except these two.”

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“They don’t call me fucking dumbass shithead idiot for nothing!”

- Stan

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“I’m not an early bird or a night owl. I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.”

- Wendy

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Mabel: “That’s a pretty rock.”

Dipper: “Robbie gave it to me.”

Robbie: “I threw it at you.”

Dipper: “He’s being pretty nice.”

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“I don’t like little flying bugs… because they’re little and can fly, and I don’t like that they can do that.”

- Pacifica

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“I’m not an Aries. I’m just a raging bitch.”

- Wendy

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Stan: “All right, Dipper, that's it, you're grounded! I found a rap album hiding under your bed and it was the clean version. I didn't raise you to be such a nerd!”

Dipper: “I'm not even your kid-”

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Dipper: “If Mabel and I were drowning, who would you save?”

Stan: “You two can't swim?”

Dipper: “It's a hypothetical question, Grunkle Stan! Who would you save?”

Stan: “My time and effort.”

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Mabel: “It's quick, it's easy, and it's free: pouring river water in your socks!”

Dipper: “Why would I do that?”

Mabel: “It's quick, it's easy, and it's free!”

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Stan: “There's no ‘I’ in team, but there is one in pizza.”

Dipper: “So, you're not going to share?”

Stan: “I'm not going to share.”

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“They're trying to lure me into a false sense of security! Well, joke's on them! I've never been secure in my life! And I'm not about to start now!”

- Dipper