Adam: One thing no one tells you about raising kids is that you’ll never know how you’ll be woken up. Will they shake your shoulder? Whisper in your ear? Headbutt you like a rhinoceros? The possibilities are endless! And usually painful.

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@incorrect-hazbin
Adam: One thing no one tells you about raising kids is that you’ll never know how you’ll be woken up. Will they shake your shoulder? Whisper in your ear? Headbutt you like a rhinoceros? The possibilities are endless! And usually painful.
Cherri: I will now drink 8 cans of energy drinks in 3 minutes.
Husk: Nope, no you won’t, because if you do that, you will die.
Abel: Miss Lute told me Santa wasn't real. Well joke's on her because I'm at the mall right now and guess who's here?
Abel: i have a new hoodie
Peter: we* have a new hoodie
Adam:Â "Poison" is a social construct invented to keep me from eating every delicious mushroom I find on the ground.
Angel Dust: [dressed in a three-piece suit, nice tie, and carrying a suitcase of lockpicking tools] I asked if you wanted to do a CON with me.
Baxter: [in full Madoka Magica cosplay] You could have been a little more specific.
Cherri: Okay, here’s the plan. First, we set off the fire alarms-
Charlie: Cherri, we can’t set off an alarm if there’s no fire, we’ll get in trouble!
Cherri: Okay, fine. First, we’ll start a fire-
Baxter: guess who’s got 7 thumbs and a set of keys to a cadaver lab?
Adam: Lute, can you pick me up? I’m at a party and there’s someone funnier than me.
Velvette: V! Val's missing! can you find him?
Vox: what, you think i have him microchipped or something?
Velvette: don't you?
Vox: of course. let me go get shok.wav
Lute: When’s the last time you even had a carrot?
Abel: Well, it’s my least favorite flavor of cake, so…
Adam: I just fell down an entire flight of stairs, and Lu goes 'oh shoot be careful' as if I didn't already fall all the way down.
Vox: i’m always two steps ahead of you bitches.
Vox: would be three but i got asthma
Lute: Face down, ass up.
Sera: Absolutely not.
Lute: It’s what Adam wanted!
Lilith: This the worst idea you've ever had, and I saw you try and make a pizza smoothie with ketchup as the liquid.
Adam: ... You saw that?
Vox: What are you doing?
Velvette: Summoning Bloody Mary in the McDonald's bathroom then leaving without buying anything
Velvette: V, explain it like a normal person.
Vox: Val seems to understand.
Valentino: [scribbling in a notepad]
Velvette: ....you don't want to know what he's drawing in that.