Incorrect Heartbeat Quotes

Credit to luka drinks canned ravioli from Discord for the header.

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Patch: If you're flying through the desert and your boat gets a flat tire… What should you have in your pockets? Eve: Um… Uh… Eve: *confidently* Blue! Because ice cream doesn't have bones! Patch: Yes.

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Luca: Patch!! You're losing a lot of blood! Quick, what's your type?!

Patch: (unconcerned) Uh... Cute, kinda short, pink hair...

Luca: I MEAN BLOOD TYPE, YOU IDIOT!!!

Patch: Oh, uh... (looks down at her wound) Red.

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Eve: Please tell me that tapestry wasn't thousands of years old.

Han: Oh way older than that, actually.

Eve: nooooooo....

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Patch: My neighbors are always listening to really loud drum and bass.

Patch: WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT!

*Patch, Luca, and Shep all start jamming out*

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Chip: Ann often tells me that violence isn't the answer.

Chip: But life is multiple choice and I choose violence.

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Chip: The term "girlfriend" implies the existence of a "girlfoe".

Chip: *pulls out her tomahawks* This is a service I'm willing to provide.

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Chip: *referring to Nyx* I hate that girl. She's so fucking gay.

Rex: Uh, dude? You're gay.

Chip: There's gay, and there's so fucking gay other people think you're too fucking gay.

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Luca: The person who is most likely to kill you is you.

Chip: Not if I kill her first!

Eve: I shouldn't kill me. They might find me guilty in court.

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Chip: You all better not try me, I’m not having it.

Han: The hell you gonna do? Fight my knees?

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Loch: I'm... Grounded?

Wake: Yes, your grounded! You disobeyed me!

Skip: *holding a shovel* And now we're gonna bury you until you learn your lesson.

Wake: Skip, that's not how grounding works.

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Chip: I have good news and bad news. Which do you wanna hear first?

Ann: The good news?

Chip: It’s very unlikely I’ll do it again.

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Nyx: I h-hate when p-p-people say, "tell me a-about y-yourself."

Nyx: Like, wh=what do I say?

Nyx: My t-t-trauma or my f-favorite c-color?

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Nyx: *possessed by Yorshk* Klein, please l-love me, Klein. I w-w-want you, f-forever.

Klein: *exitedly* Yes!!!

Yorshk: You're supposed to hit her!

Klein: Damn right I'm gonna hit that!

Yorshk: *unamused* Han dammit... *knocks Nyx out*

Klein: Aw, come on!

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Wake: Murder wasn’t on today’s agenda.

Pike: Murder wasn’t on anyone’s agenda.

Yorshk: It was on mine but not until Thursday.

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Eve: Don’t let anyone ruin your day.

Nyx: Yeah, y-you’ve got to t-t-take matters into your o-own h-hands. Ruin your own d-day.

Eve: No...

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

Eve: Hey, Chip! Check it out!

Eve: (points to a sign that reads "18+ Only") Aw man! We can't go in, Chip! It says 18+ and there's only two of us!

Chip: You're so fucking stupid, Eve.

Chip: *pulls out her cellphone* Let's just invite more people.

[incorrect-heartbeat-quotes]

June: Okay, let’s play hide and seek.

Avi: Eve, you count!

Eve: *sighing after counting to 50* You would not believe your eyes—

Avi: *from the top of a building* IF TEN MILLION FIREFLIES