Strahd: I can smell your blood
Paultin, drunk as hell: Come out and fight bitch
(Submission by potootrashheap)
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@incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes
Strahd: I can smell your blood
Paultin, drunk as hell: Come out and fight bitch
(Submission by potootrashheap)
Strix: Why did you let your nose bleed all over the sink?! Paultin: I forgot how to stop a nosebleed Strix: How– you’ve had several nosebleeds, how could you possibly forget? Paultin: I was kinda mesmerized by the blood Strix: You have problems.
Evelyn: *hugging Paultin with all her might* Paultin: I did not ask for this. These are unauthorized snuggles. Evelyn: *sadly starts walking away* Paultin: *pulls her back* I didn’t ask you to stop.
Simon: *is sad* Paultin: *begins breakdancing gently* what’s wrong, son
Strahd: Paultin… son of the Vistani
Paultin: Strahd… son of… a bitch
Imagine Strahd marathoning Vampire Knight with his vampire spawn for a boys’ night in.
I actually can’t.
Vampire Knight is the anime version of Twilight.
If anything, Strahd would use it as a how-NOT-to-vampire-correctly lesson.
You have far too high of an opinion of Strahd and his ability to be a respectable vampire.
Paultin, on a daily basis: I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today.
Evelyn: I was born in the wrong century.
Simon: I was born in the wrong form.
Paultin: I wasn’t meant to be born at all. Look where we are.
Diath: fun fact, i can be killed but it won’t last
Paultin: *hangs his hand off the edge of the bed*
Monster: *grabs it*
Paultin: what are we
Monster: *blushes*
Diath: It’s called cauliflower, Paultin. it’s not “ghost broccoli”.
Paultin: i know what i saw
Paultin: So, I’ve decided to take my career in a whole new direction.
Evelyn: Forward?
Diath: There is something sweet in the winter air. Something familiar but new. Something light and easy. Something good.
Paultin:…..
Diath:……
Paultin: Murder?
Diath: Murder.
Paultin: This little kid’s got danger running through his veins!
Squiddly: Yeah, it tickles!
Paultin: I need one of those Kim Kardashian jobs where they pay me to exist.
Paultin: Hey... can u pcik me up? im to drnuk
[minutes later]
Paultin: oh u dnt have to anymore... im home now
Diath: Yes... I’m aware of that now that I’ve dragged you home.
Squiddly: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?
Strix: You're a hazard to society.
Paultin: And a coward. Do twenty.