[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Strahd: I can smell your blood 

Paultin, drunk as hell: Come out and fight bitch

(Submission by potootrashheap)

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Strix: Why did you let your nose bleed all over the sink?! Paultin: I forgot how to stop a nosebleed Strix: How– you’ve had several nosebleeds, how could you possibly forget? Paultin: I was kinda mesmerized by the blood Strix: You have problems.

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Evelyn: *hugging Paultin with all her might* Paultin: I did not ask for this. These are unauthorized snuggles. Evelyn: *sadly starts walking away* Paultin: *pulls her back* I didn’t ask you to stop.

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Simon: *is sad* Paultin: *begins breakdancing gently* what’s wrong, son

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Strahd: Paultin… son of the Vistani

Paultin: Strahd… son of… a bitch

[imagine-strahd]

Imagine Strahd marathoning Vampire Knight with his vampire spawn for a boys’ night in.

[saiyanpanda96]

I actually can’t.

Vampire Knight is the anime version of Twilight.

If anything, Strahd would use it as a how-NOT-to-vampire-correctly lesson.

[imagine-strahd]

You have far too high of an opinion of Strahd and his ability to be a respectable vampire.

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Paultin, on a daily basis: I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today.

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Evelyn: I was born in the wrong century.

Simon: I was born in the wrong form.

Paultin: I wasn’t meant to be born at all. Look where we are.

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Diath: fun fact, i can be killed but it won’t last

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Paultin: *hangs his hand off the edge of the bed*

Monster: *grabs it*

Paultin: what are we

Monster: *blushes*

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Diath: It’s called cauliflower, Paultin. it’s not “ghost broccoli”.

Paultin: i know what i saw

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Paultin: So, I’ve decided to take my career in a whole new direction.

Evelyn: Forward?

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Diath: There is something sweet in the winter air. Something familiar but new. Something light and easy. Something good.

Paultin:…..

Diath:……

Paultin: Murder?

Diath: Murder.

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Paultin: This little kid’s got danger running through his veins!

Squiddly: Yeah, it tickles!

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Paultin: I need one of those Kim Kardashian jobs where they pay me to exist.

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Paultin: Hey... can u pcik me up? im to drnuk

[minutes later]

Paultin: oh u dnt have to anymore... im home now

Diath: Yes... I’m aware of that now that I’ve dragged you home.

[incorrect-wafflecrew-quotes]

Squiddly: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?

Strix: You're a hazard to society.

Paultin: And a coward. Do twenty.