incorrect abbott quotes

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Melissa: I’m sweating like a pig.

Student: Pigs don’t sweat, Ms. Schemennti.

Melissa: Alright, then I'm sweating like a [realizes she shouldn't say "motherfucker"] cold glass on a hot day, then!

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Melissa: What would you do if you saw someone beautiful? Ava: I’d smile, flip my hair, then put down the mirror.

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Melissa: Janine, tell him where he can stick his grapes! Janine: In the fridge! Melissa: No, Janine-

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Jacob: You read my diary? Melissa: At first I didn't know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad, handwritten book.

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Jacob: You're... shallow! Ava: Shallow? Jacob: *nods* Ava: ... Ava: ... Ava: That's such a relief! I thought it was something serious like I was ugly.

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Stranger at bar: I know this is random but Dom or Sub?  Janine: I guess Domino's. I don't go to Subway that much. Don't know why you'd put them in the same category.

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Gregory: Has anyone seen my shirt? Button down, faded salmon color? Melissa: You mean your pink shirt? Gregory: ...Faded salmon color. Melissa: No, I haven't seen your pink shirt.

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Ava: Parlay. My Office. Five minutes. Melissa: Parlay? Mr. Johnson: Pirate code. She wants to meet. Melissa: So everyone here knows pirate code? Mr. Johnson: I understand it. I can't speak it.

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Janine: There has to be something that makes you cry. What if you saw a three-legged puppy? Ava: I would be sad, but I wouldn’t cry. Janine: What if the puppy said "Help me, Ava! All the other puppies pick on me!" Ava: Cry? I’ve just found a talking puppy, I’m rich!

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Gregory: I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Gregory: .... Gregory: Actually, it’s going to bug me if I don’t.

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Janine: We’re the exact opposites of each other and at the same time we’re so similar. We complete each other. We’re like a negative and a positive numbers. Gregory, laughing: And together we become a zero. We become nothing. Janine: Did you really have to ruin my poetic ramblings?