100% Completely Accurate

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Otoya: I am not out of control, I’m a law abiding citizen! 

Shiena: Really? Name one law.

Otoya:...Don’t kill people?

Shiena: That’s on me. I set the bar too low. 

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Haru: How’s that girl you’re dating? 

Haruki: [About Isuke] Oh, she’s insane. 

Haru: What’s her name?

Haruki: She won’t tell me. 

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Mizorogi-sensei: Okay class, for today’s lesson we’re going to talk about self defense. For this exercise I’m going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Haruki: Sure.

Isuke: Whatever.

Mizorogi-sensei: If you want to live, give me all your money! 

Haruki: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Tokaku: Bold of you to assume I want to live.

Haru: ...

Haru: *pulling out three dollars* I know it’s not much, but I hope it helps. 

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Haruki: They don’t know about my Knife stick.

Haruki: It’s a knife taped to a stick. The ultimate weapon. 

Isuke: A spear?

Haruki: Blocked. 

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Haru: Tokaku-san, you’re like an angel with no wings!

Tokaku: So like a person. 

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Hi guys!!! I’m actually not dead!!! I’m going to try posting here again! 

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

hey guys! I know none of us can get enough Akuma No Riddle, so luckily my friend ricky-otaku made another Akuma No Riddle incorrect quotes blog! Go check her out at incorrectclassblackquotes.tumblr.com!

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Haruki: *handing Tokaku her phone* It’s your girlfriend.

Tokaku: For the last time, Ichinose is not my girlfriend!

Tokaku: *into the phone* Hey, babe.

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Haruki: This is my ex-girlfriend.

Isuke: I told you to stop calling me that.

Isuke: We’re married. I’m her wife.

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Haru: It doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside-

Nio: Whew, good!

Haru: -it’s who you are on the inside!

Nio: Ah, fuck.

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Haru: How are you?

Tokaku: I’ve been experiencing a headache that just comes and goes…

Tokaku: [sees Nio walk by]

Tokaku: It’s back again.

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Haru (to Tokaku) : I wasn’t hurt that badly!

Haru: The doctor said all my bleeding was internal.

Haru: That’s where the blood’s supposed to be.

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Isuke: We need to kill him. But make it look like an accident.

Nio: I’m on it.

Suzu, later: It looks like the killer beat this man over the head twenty times and then placed a banana peel by his feet.

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Haruki: I love Isuke… so much. She’s such an important part of my life. I wouldn’t be the same without her. How can I convey that without embarrassing myself?

Haruki: ...

Haruki: [sends Isuke a meme out of nowhere at 3am]

Haruki: Perfect.

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Haruki: Thanks again for inviting me over to eat.

Isuke: That was NOT eating. I've seen eating. What you did there was pure chaos!

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Haru: Tokaku-san, keep an eye on Nio today. She’s gonna say something to the wrong person and get herself punched.

Tokaku: Sure, I’d love to see Hashiri get punched.

Haru: Try again.

Tokaku: I will stop Hashiri from getting punched.

Haru: Correct.

[incorrectakumanoriddlequotes]

Tokaku: I didn’t understand why everyone cared about their dumb girlfriend so much until I got a dumb girlfriend myself.

Tokaku: I’ve only had Ichinose for a day and a half, but if anything were to happen to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.