#source: brooklyn 99

[batfamgalore]

*Dick is pretending to get along with Talia for Damian’s sake and Talia hugs him*

*whispering*

Talia: This is nice.

Dick: I will throw you in jail for the rest of your life. And I can do that. So do not test me.

Talia: Okay. I still liked the hug even though you used it to threaten me.

Dick: Yeah, well, I kind of liked threatening you, so.

[holy-incorrectquotes-batman]

Damian: Was that weird earlier? When I told everyone I was gay. Was that too touchy-feely? Jon: Dami, no. It was great. And don't worry, just because you opened up a little doesn't mean everyone's gonna be any less afraid of you. Jon: We're all still terrified. Damian, genuinely touched: Thank you, Kent.

[teenwolf-incorrectquotes]

[pack training session] Derek: Wow. Scott just killed Stiles. He wasn't fast enough to untie him before the hunter pulled the trigger. Stiles: Derek--- Derek: I can't hear you, Stiles, you're dead. Scott, he bled out in your lap. And now you show up at my door. How are you going to break the news to me? Let's see. Scott: Okay, we don't have to do this. Derek: Ah, hello Scott! How are things going with Stiles, the love of my life? Wait, why are you here at this late hour? And whose blood is that? Scott: Dude, I get it. Derek: It's---it's Stiles' blood? This is devastating. I'm inconsolable. And... [Derek snaps his fingers] Derek: I've killed myself.

[secretsdcblog]

[Tim locked in a room because he’s sick]

Dick: Oh Jason, what if he sleeps forever

-Tim punches straight through the door-

Jason/Dick: -screaming-

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: i've only said i love you to three people. my brother, Pandora, and James when he got hit by a bladger and was dying from the head injury . I only regret one of those.

Remus: which one?

Regulus: James. he recovered like 2 days later so I just looked like an idiot

James: we're married

Regulus: still.

[misquoted-chronicles]

Price: Alright before we start this meeting, would anyone like to share anything? Ghost: *lifts up Y/n* Ghost: I've only known Y/n for a few hours, but if anything happened to them, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Y/n: *waves at the 141 group just happy to be there*

[daddiesdrarryy]

Ron: Why is Draco here? We agreed to keep my proposal to Blaise a secret, Harry!

Harry: Well it’s hard to keep secrets when you’re married to an ace Occulumen

Draco: He told me as soon as he got home

Harry: I did, yeah

[f1incorrects]

Esteban: I never really understood why people cared so much about their dumb children until I got one dumb child myself. Esteban: *picks Ollie up* Esteban: I’ve only known Ollie for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.