Dazai: if you swallowed a kazoo do you think your voice would always be- [high-pitched squealing]
Akutagawa: dazai did you do what i think you did
Dazai:
Dazai: [high-pitched squealing]

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@incorrectanythingquotes-blog
Dazai: if you swallowed a kazoo do you think your voice would always be- [high-pitched squealing]
Akutagawa: dazai did you do what i think you did
Dazai:
Dazai: [high-pitched squealing]
Dazai, in court: Seven billion people in the world, and you’re upset that I killed two little people.
Judge: Dazai Osa-
Dazai: Seven. Billion. People. Now shut up and drink your smoothie
Dazai: do you think rashoumon could be a substitute dick
Akutagawa: where the fuck to you come up with this shit
Chuuya: [mumbling in Latin]
Arahabaki: Listen, for the last time, I’m not a demon, and you can’t exorcise me.
Chuuya: [crossing number five off the list] It was worth a try.
Dazai: hey hey eyhey ehe hh eeyh chuuya
Chuuya: what
Dazai: spell icup
Chuuya: spell w-
Dazai: just do it
Chuuya: I C U- no, noonon fuck you
Dazai: please
Chuuya:
Chuuya: I C U P
Dazai: dude what the fuck thats gross
Chuuya: die
Dazai, bumping into Chuuya: oh, looks like you've dropped something
Chuuya: whatd I drop?
Dazai: your standards-hi I'm dazai become my boyfriend
Ranpo: fuck
gasping from everyone else:
Akutagawa: [hand lightly brushes Chuuya's]
Chuuya: [aggressively grabs Akutagawa's hand and holds it]
Chuuya: Fucking commit to it
Chuuya: I love him so much, he is my everythi--
Dazai: [breathes]
Chuuya: that's it I can't live like this
Dazai: do rabbits lay eggs
Chuuya: do idiots ever shut up
Dazai: do you talk during your sleep?
Chuuya: no?
Dazai: there's your answer
Ranpo, waving hands around: [incomprehensible]
Poe: what?
Ranpo, even quieter: [incomprehensible]
Akiko: you gotta speak up
Ranpo, at full volume: FUCK
Chuuya: why cant i get some peace and quiet around here
Dazai, holding a can of peas: i cant promise the quiet but i got you this
Chuuya: are you fucking deaf
Dazai: don't panic! I'm in charge now!
Kunikida: THATS WHY WE ARE PANICKING
Kouyou: I know you snuck out last night, Chuuya
Arahabaki: play dumb
15 y/o Chuuya: who's chuuya
Arahabaki: NOT THAT TYPE OF DUMB
Dazai: if life is a party, i am the pinata
Chuuya: you want little kids to beat you
Dazai: i dont mind any age
Chuuya, dressed up fancily: Okay Dazai, how do i look?-
Dazai: With your eyes
Chuuya: thanks assfuck
Dazai: lets go out with a bang
Chuuya: is that implying we eat out then shoot eachother
Dazai: no i meant that we should-
Chuuya: olive garden it is