Incorrect ASOIAF Quotes

Anything from modern tv shows/movies that could have been said by ASOIAF characters. Feel free to send quotes!

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Olenna Tyrell: Thank you for agreeing to see me, Cersei.

Cersei: I didn’t, you just walked in and started talking-

Olenna Tyrell: I don’t have time for a history lesson.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Daenerys: Daario and I have that kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other’s-

Daario: Sentences.

Daenerys: Please don’t interrupt me.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Jaqen H’ghar: Arya is at the age where there’s only one thing on her mind.

The Hound: Boys?

Jaqen H’ghar: Homicide.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Tywin Lannister: If you’re saying I play favorites, you’re wrong. I love all my children equally. 

*earlier that day* 

Tywin Lannister: I don’t care for Tyrion.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Ned: Honey?

Catelyn: What?

Ned: Where’s my sword?

Catelyn: What?

Ned: Where - is - my - sword?

Catelyn: I, uh, put it away.  

Ned: Where?

Catelyn: Why do you need to know?

Ned: I need it!

Catelyn: Uh-uh! Don’t you think about running off doing no daring-do. We’ve been planning this dinner for two months!

Ned: The kingdom is in danger!

Catelyn: My evening’s in danger!

Ned: You tell me where my sword is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!

Catelyn: ‘Greater good?’ I am your wife! I’m the greatest good you are ever gonna get!

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Ramsay: Bye, Reek! Bye, father! Bye, Fat Walda! Bye, Reek!

Roose: You said Reek twice.

Ramsay: I like Reek.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Theon: [when he escaped from Winterfell] Goodbye, everyone! I’ll remember you all in therapy.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Jaqen H’ghar: Arya Stark…how do I begin to explain Arya Stark?

Gendry: Arya Stark is flawless.

Syrio Forel: I hear her sword is insured for 10,000 dragons.

Varys: I hear she does oyster, clams, and cockles commercials...in Braavos.

Yorren: One time she met Gendry in King’s Landing—

Hot Pie: —And he told her she was pretty.

Meryn Trant: One time she stabbed me in the eyes...it was awesome.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Jaime: *referring to Cersei* She was an angel that fell from heaven.

Tyrion: Yes, So was Lucifer.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Olenna Tyrell: Why didn't they just keep you in Winterfell?

Sansa Stark: They wanted me to get socialized.

Margaery Tyrell: Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.

Sansa Stark: What are you talking about?

Olenna Tyrell: You're a regulation hottie.

Sansa Stark: What?

Margaery Tyrell: Own it.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Stannis: What am I allergic to?

Davos: Pine nuts. And the full spectrum of human emotion.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Stannis: Why are you squeezing me with your body?

Shireen: It’s a hug, dad. I’m hugging you.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Tywin: Where’s your brother, Cersei?

Cersei: We just stepped out of the shower. He’ll be down in a minute.

Tywin: …did you just say ‘we’?                

Cersei: What?

Tywin: Did you just say ‘we stepped out of the shower’?

Cersei: I said ‘he’.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Sansa: And the Lannisters have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in Westeros.

Margaery: What does it say about me?

Sansa: You're not in it.

Margaery: Those bitches.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Cersei: Oh my Gods, I love your gown! Where did you get it?

Sansa: It was my mom's in Winterfell.

Cersei: Vintage, so adorable.

Sansa: Thanks.

Cersei: [after Sansa walks away] That is the ugliest effing gown I've ever seen.

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Tywin: Tyrion, what did I tell you about calling Cersei the devil?

Tyrion: That it's offensive to the devil?

[incorrectasoiafquotes]

Catelyn: Ooh, it’s kind of cold

Ned: Here, take my jacket

Catelyn: I love you

Ned: Gods, we are such a perfect couple

Cersei: I’m cold, too

Robert: Well, damn, Cersei, I can’t control the weather!