✧ pursuit ✧

wip transformers fic based on some friends, crackhead funny quotes so i can vibe check these characters

[totallycorrectcadenzaquotes]

Roadagain: Bro your vibes are epic. Hold my hand

[totallycorrectcadenzaquotes]

Pursuit: So here's the tea--

Stabilizer: For the LAST time, it's called a POLICE REPORT.

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

Envoy (to Pursuit): Hey man

Envoy, moments later: Nah changed my mind

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

[in the captains' chat]

pursuit: askjdldg

circlet: what's that

pandora: it's like a laugh

circlet: how do i do it

pandora: just press any key

circlet: 6

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

pandora: a guy who lives on my street rang my doorbell and said, "are you the lesbian who saves the cats?" and i said, "yes. that's exactly who i am. let me get my coat."

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

pursuit: yeah, i looked both ways while crossing the street. i looked both "handsome" and "radiant," too bad i got hit by that car

[totallycorrectcadenzaquotes]

admit that microwaving food is not cooking

I know this is you, Envoy.

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

microwaving is not cooking

-pursuit

[totallycorrectcadenzaquotes]

Then why does the microwave have a cook button!!! What’s it for, Pursuit, if not cooking!!

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

RECOOK 

[totallycorrectcadenzaquotes]

admit that microwaving food is not cooking

I know this is you, Envoy.

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

microwaving is not cooking

-pursuit

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

Shamble: dirt

Circlet: Mmm...tasty..

Shamble: The d in dirt stands for do not eat this please

Letariat: The i stands for I will anyway

Roadagain: The r stands for rat

Pandora: The t stands for trans rights!

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

Circlet: We should have an opposite Valentine's Day where we send unfortunate things in hideous boxes to people we dislike on purpose

Stevotron: Literally every day aboard this ship

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

Stabilizer: We make eye contact and I connect to the wifi in your brain and I delete half of your memories and make you left handed

Pursuit: But I am left handed. And I already have a poor memory, so good luck finding anything worth deleting.

Pursuit, five hours later: WAIT A MINUTE

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

Envoy: [pulls out gun]

Pursuit: Envoy, I said no guns!

Envoy: I thought you said no gum!

Pursuit: But you're also chewing gum!

Envoy, blowing a bubble: I'm a wildcard

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

Envoy: Dive has these insanely strong opinions on everything. Go on, ask him a thing no one should have an opinion on.

Arc: What's the worst multiple of four?

Armordive: Twelve, obviously.

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

Sicarius: Oh fiddlesticks! This really ruffles my feathers!

Roadagain, crying: Please, I'm begging you, just say "fuck"

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

Stabilizer: We won't lose because we have this [points at chest]

Pandora: We have heart?

Stabilizer: Heart? No. We have me. I was pointing at myself. I'm going to win this.

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

Shamble: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Stevotron: [grabs and chugs it]

Stevotron: it's perfume

[incorrectcadenzaquotes]

Stevotron and Trip: Since when have we ever done anything rash or irresponsible?

Stabilizer: I keep a list. It's alphabetized.