It isn’t abnormal, the state she finds herself. Though she wishes it were. It isn’t abnormal just as much as it strays from everything she’s ever known, ever been taught, ever seen, ever- But that’s not true is it? No. It’s not abnormal at all. When was the first time she caught sight of Charlotte in youth with her conspirator’s grin, a palm full of pilfered sweets and the promise of a summer’s day hiding from their tutors in the garden. The blush for her childhood playmate that had so thankfully gone unnoticed. When was the last time she put the pieces together? When was the last time she threw them in the fire to smolder and burn?
So no. Loving women? As normal as an abnormal thing can be for one Cressida Cowlper.
Loving Eloise and being loved by her in return? The former came first but the latter is just as sweet in its newness.
Hope. Happiness. Love. Jealousy.
All of these which were once normal to her, in one sense or another, flourish with the addition of Eloise.
She wouldn’t change it for the world, true. However, the glares she holds back -more potent than the ones she shares- will surely have her face frozen in some horrific display if the tales are to be believed. Eloise would compliment her no doubt, a joke or two thrown in years later once the pain of such a change had eased. Cressida, in her grace, poise, humility, would try to conjure a smile, lean in close, and explain that it was all Eloise’s fault. All of it.
All of it.
Hope. Happiness. Love. Jealousy.
Jealousy.
Though she knows the strain of being an only daughter, this is a new type of beast. Green tinted with haze, lighter and lighter laughter, curtsies and invites and dance cards gallore. And in the middle -as she so often is- Eloise is radiant in her obliviousness.
In the haze of her brain, memories mix with fears, insecurities ever present. Faceless would-be suitors become _ and _. Girls who always took a little too much notice of Eloise if Cressida does say so herself. After all, Eloise has been a stagnant figure in her own focus well before the season they first spent together. Of course she had noticed them before.
Of course she notices them even more now. Now that she knows what it’s like to be the focus of Eloise’s attention and what a dance with her can be. She can see the suitors with their grins and too close movements; She can hear the laughter ring out just a little too breathy and a little too loud at Eloise’s most recent story. It’d take a stronger soul than her to bare these moments without at least a glimpse of the glare that she hides.
So no. Not abnormal. Not normal. Not a lot of things.
gummygunk
annaxmalina
areudirty
ellievsbear
izzy806