Incorrect Crystal Tokyo

Welcome to Incorrect Crystal Tokyo, a place for incorrect quotes from Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon! Submissions are open!

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Minako: Gonna be honest. A lot of hot people go to art museums. I'm one of them

Usagi: I'm too ugly they wont let me in

Usagi: That, and my shirt that says "I eat oil paintings when security guards aren't looking"

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Rei: Remember: No tricks, no lies, no trouble

Chibiusa, Hotaru: Yes, Aunt Rei!

Rei: I wasn't talking to you

Rei: [looks pointedly at Minako]

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Haruka: Oh, a little bird dropped this off...

[Haruka hands Michiru a greeting card]

Haruka: [whispering] I missed you. H.

Haruka: It's me. I'm the H. Also there was no bird. Also me.

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Minako: Let's Thelma and Louise this thing!

Usagi: Great!

Ami: Thelma and Louise drove off a cliff, so...be careful

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Professor Tomoe: Ladies! There’s a chance this will work!

Mimete: Actually, you said there’s NO chance this will work.

Professor Tomoe: …FOOL, THAT WILL NEVER WORK!

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Makoto: Hello, people who do not live here.

Minako: Hey.

Usagi: Hi.

Haruka: Hello.

Makoto: I gave you the key for emergencies.

Usagi: We were out of Doritos.

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Friendly reminder that we’re accepting submissions (as long as they follow the submission guidelines)!

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

JunJun: You're alive!

Hotaru: Philosophically arguable, but physically...yes, I am.

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Rei: Shh! Did everybody hear that? Do you know what that sound was?

Youma: What?

Rei: That was the sound of my patience shattering into a billion little pieces.

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Minako: If the multiverse theory is true, then there's a universe where it isn't.

Ami: Multiverse theory doesn't cover paradoxical situations

Minako: Except in the universe where it does!

Rei: I'm having an aneurysm

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Two bros chilling in the hot tub, five feet apart 'cause they're not gay!

Minako, watching Mamoru and Motoki chilling in the hot tub

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Hotaru: [sleeping]

Chibiusa: Are you awake?

Hotaru: Nope just expirensing death

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Michiru: I'm a lesbian

Person: I thought you were Japanese?

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

VesVes: Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

Ami: I know you're being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny

CereCere: [leans over, whispers to Hotaru] What are they talking about

Hotaru: [leans over, whispers back] Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

PallaPalla: Consider the coconut

Setsuna: This reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as "featherless bipeds" and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming "BEHOLD A MAN!"

VesVes: I love how you say "it reminds me of that time" like you were there

Chibiusa: How do you know she wasn't

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Rei: What did you call us?

Minako: Reinako! You know...Rei and Minako, mushed together!

Rei: Oh, I like it. But not a lot...

Rei: I don't like it.

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Rei: [walking into the kitchen] Is something burning?

Minako: [leaning seductively against the counter] Only my desire for you.

Rei: Minako, the toaster is on fire.

[incorrectcrystaltokyo]

Haruka: I am THIS close to kicking your ass!

Seiya: Oh yeah? Well now I am THIS close to kicking your ass!

Haruka: Let's settle this like Senshi...

Haruka: Usagi, whose fingers are closer?